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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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T-shirts that have all the washing and care info built into the back of the shirt where tags used to be but also have a little quarter inch by quarter inch loop tag on the other side that serves no purpose whatsoever other than to make you think you have the shirt on inside out when you actually have it on right side out.

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On 8/27/2019 at 5:15 PM, TornACL said:

For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

You work with my mom?

 

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16 hours ago, Cousin Strawberry said:

I know people who refer to gutters as “the trash.”

It is pretty ridiculous. I cant believe people would throw shit down the drain. It it 2019 and everyone should know by now that gutters are where you pour your used oil. JFC.

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To reiterate something from a couple weeks ago, had a coupon for a mushroom swiss with purchase of a whatameal. The plan is to eat the mushroom swiss and save the other burger for later. To keep it from getting soggy, I get it without mustard.

 

"And I'll take the Whataburger with no mustard"

"You want mayo?"

"No."

 

Later, from the back:

"What's no mustard mean?"

"It means make it without mustard"

"He want mayo?"

"No."

 

 

 

Edit: order came out with 2 fries and no onion rings. Could have gone to Popeye's.

 

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My daughter repeated something I’m saying Too often these days while waiting for a pop up ad to finish before her next paw patrol cartoon, “oh for shitsakes, another ad?”  My wife was not pleased, but I think at four years old, it’s good that begins to distrust the marketing machine that will barrage for every minute of her life.  

I used to like the Chive.  Good folks, fun content, gives to my charity.  But they can’t get through a fucking :30 video without two minutes of ads.  And you can’t move through their mobile site without literally 50% of the screen occupied by ads.  I’m not using their shitty app.  It used to be a fun break for a few minutes on your phone while out and about but it’s worthless now. I take a few minutes in the morning to look at something funny or some hot ass, and I’m done with them across all platforms for the rest of the day.  

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11 hours ago, elfenix said:

I thought Kroger's aisle of Halloween candy in August was egregious, Costco is selling huge Christmas trees already

Speaking of Halloween candy, it sucks that they don't sell bags of fun size Mr. Goodbars. You have to buy the assortment bags with a mix of other Hershey's candy bars. I don't want those. 

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There's a Mr. Goodbar-like candy bar made by Nestle that's only sold in Peru called Sublime that is out of this world. 

I've been looking for them on and off since spending a lot of time in Peru 20 years ago, and while Amazon finally offers them, they are about $30 or so for the smallest box. 

I don't really want that much delicious (and expensive) candy laying around, and part of me doesn't want to risk the possibility that they might not be as good as I remember, so I haven't pulled the trigger. 

But I'm tempted often. 

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49 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

You guys are nuts. Goodbar is trash. Krackel 4 life.

Krackel was what happened when some little whipper-snapper dropped in on his grandma unannounced back in the 1930's.

"Oh my, Billy and Susie are calling on me today.  Well, I'd better some candies together.  The soda fountain was closed and I haven't any hard candy or taffy.  Let's saunter over to the kitchen/bathroom in my tenement.  Why...I have this old box of rice that says 'Now with more Arsenic!', and let's see what else...Oh my...incontinence-grade dark chocolate from the Bodega down the street.  Well let's just mash this all together and bake them in my rusted out furnace."  

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3 hours ago, Lobo said:

Krackel was what happened when some little whipper-snapper dropped in on his grandma unannounced back in the 1930's.

"Oh my, Billy and Susie are calling on me today.  Well, I'd better some candies together.  The soda fountain was closed and I haven't any hard candy or taffy.  Let's saunter over to the kitchen/bathroom in my tenement.  Why...I have this old box of rice that says 'Now with more Arsenic!', and let's see what else...Oh my...incontinence-grade dark chocolate from the Bodega down the street.  Well let's just mash this all together and bake them in my rusted out furnace."  

That is some very specific commentary right there. Well done!

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2 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I'm going to assume this was tongue in cheek even though I did get a vacation for it.

It's a long running joke/ debate on here and TOS.   Derka was insisting that rep and comments didn't matter, so I purposefully made the DIAF comment and I took the same vacation to prove that evidently rep and rep comments mattered.

Welcome to the team...

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On 8/30/2019 at 6:34 PM, Jersey Man10 said:

Jesus christ YouTube is getting ridiculous with ads all the fucking time.

My favorite is how they cover the entire screen with ads for similar videos for the last 30 seconds of the video you are watching. Yeah, there’s usually nothing important at the end of a video. 

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On 9/1/2019 at 10:05 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:


The thread for unpopular (and wrong) opinions is that way ———->

Singapore has it exactly correct with regard to fucking cuntbag dick lickers who throw their nasty ass gum on the ground.

Holy shit don't even get me started on people spitting out gum.  Especially in a parking lot/spot where you get in and out of the car.  Fuckers should be shot.

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4 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Holy shit don't even get me started on people spitting out gum.  Especially in a parking lot/spot where you get in and out of the car.  Fuckers should be shot.

The people who litter those little single-use dental floss hook doodads should be loaded into a cannon and fired at the people who leave dirty diapers in parking lots, and then the gum-spitter-outers should be forced to clean up the resulting mess. 

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17 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The people who litter those little single-use dental floss hook doodads should be loaded into a cannon and fired at the people who leave dirty diapers in parking lots, and then the gum-spitter-outers should be forced to clean up the resulting mess. 

What about the people that wipe their ass in the bathroom and put the shitty toilet paper in a trashcan nearby??  

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7 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

What about the people that wipe their ass in the bathroom and put the shitty toilet paper in a trashcan nearby??  

While obviously frustrating and disgusting, this is an issue of cultural assimilation for new folks coming from countries with less robust plumbing systems. 

I recommend instructional signs in Spanish with accompanying cartoon/stick figures (you know, the guy from all the warning signs who does shit like put his face under the lawnmower, licking downed power lines, etc.) for the illiterates. 

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10 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

While obviously frustrating and disgusting, this is an issue of cultural assimilation for new folks coming from countries with less robust plumbing systems. 

I recommend instructional signs in Spanish with accompanying cartoon/stick figures (you know, the guy from all the warning signs who does shit like put his face under the lawnmower, licking downed power lines, etc.) for the illiterates. 

Oh I'm aware where it comes from.  But there's nothing more vomit inducing than seeing a pile of shit paper in a bathroom in public.  Well, other than vomit itself.  

 

Sign idea is good.  Maybe I'll get started on some.  PM me that way I can file us an LLC and patents.  

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