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This is Texas. A Modern Texas. What Is A Ranch?

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15 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

I wish I could buy a couple hundred acres every other paycheck.

You sound poor

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21 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

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6A395274-D319-4D6C-A0C0-D8D006560665.jpeg

yeah, so... about this surly get together. I'm thinking first weekend of hunting season?

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, tejas60 said:

yeah, so... about this surly get together. I'm thinking first weekend of hunting season?

Sure. Not kidding. Mostly mule deer. A few white tail. But if you have the right gear and don’t care about hiking in the canyon while freezing your ass off you can get aoudad. We have a lot of them in the canyon. 

Edited by Nicole44

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, GringoSalado said:

 

"Cats. It's a Cat Ranch. I herd them. Or try to."

El Gato Ranchero? I think I've heard of it. 

Edited by Fuck Tim Beck

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1 hour ago, Nicole44 said:

Sure. Not kidding. Mostly mule deer. A few white tail. But if you have the right gear and don’t care about hiking in the canyon while freezing your ass off you can get aoudad. We have a lot of them in the canyon. 

 

Where did those Bighorn trophies come from?

 

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Just now, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Where did those Bighorn trophies come from?

 

It’s a grand slam. My dad shot them before it became almost impossible to get one. Different places. North America, Canada and Alaska. 

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1 hour ago, Nicole44 said:

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Paging @Cajun to the Burn Orange courtesy phone... Paging one mister "Cajun" to the Burnt Orange courtesy phone in the baggage claim area... you have a call waiting.

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1 hour ago, Nicole44 said:

Sure. Not kidding. Mostly mule deer. A few white tail. But if you have the right gear and don’t care about hiking in the canyon while freezing your ass off you can get aoudad. We have a lot of them in the canyon. 

The Best of Eric Andre's "Let Me In" Memes | Know Your Meme

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Out of all the old Texas families that conspired sexually to create me, the only one with enough land to pass down lived outside of fucking Woodville, Texas, so our family land is a certain number of acres of copperhead-infested pines. There used to be a cabin on it but some rednecks stole it, along with some of our timber. The story goes my grandmother prayed for the ringleader's downfall -- he was a local timber baron -- and got it when a sawblade went astray at his mill and beheaded him. My grandmother is about a quarter haint so I believe it. 

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I guess the only one with a significant amount of land would be my great aunt, and I'm not inheriting that, so looks like I'll get debt from my parents. Yay.

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16 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

My friends all refer to my small (24 acre) place as El Rancho but I’ve always felt kinda weird calling it a “ranch”, even when we had horses.  To me a ranch has to have some livestock related functionality, regardless of size.  Maybe I should start referring to it as a wildlife preserve, since it’s under wildlife management, and we preserve some wildlife in sausage casings.  

I live on the high plains. Couple thousand acres. Calling my place a “ranch” has always sounded silly to me. We took in our nieces and nephews this summer. Sister in law isn’t doing so hot with her choices. I’ve got the kids calling our place “Galleywinter”. 

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I’m from South Texas growing up around the King Ranch as well as hundreds of 1000 acre hunting-type ranches. 
Growing up, we had “the 4 acres” with goats which was going to be our future homestead until the oil crash of the 80s. 
My wife’s family has 50 acres with a couple family houses called the “ranchito”.
My boss (an aggy) describes his 42 acres as a ranch.  His boss describes his 1500 acres as a ranch.
I’d find it hard to call anything under 250-300 acres a ranch, but I guess it depends on how it’s set up. 

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17 hours ago, Royalfan5 said:

It works better if you build a shouse, that way you can step out of your living room and do some welding 

Or shoot guns off your back porch without bothering any neighbors.

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14 hours ago, Player said:

 


What a jackass. Good looking donkey though.

 

I damn near died laughing

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Look, the work around is to call it "your place". You don't have to justify calling it a farm or ranch and to be honest, that's what most of us that live out here full time call it.

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12 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

The Southern fork of the Red River (called Prairie Dog Fork or some such) runs through Palo Duro Canyon. You can start swimming there, but you would end up heading more east than south. When you get to the border with OK, you would join up with the North Fork and enter the Red River proper, travel along the Texas-OK border, have to portage around the Denison Dam at the end of Lake Texoma, head through southwest Arkansas, down into Shreveport in Louisiana, end up in the Mississippi, and then into the Gulf of Mexico. But I guess you could eventually end up in Mexico the country.

That actually sounds like something I'd try to do. Anyway, I just remembered I've been at Mexican beaches, swam out a ways, then swam back in, so I guess I already "swam into Mexico."

Achievement Unlocked.

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19 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Really, all that matters is that you dress the part....

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Why does the sheriff have a Star of David badge?

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If you’re inviting me out for a weekend, you can call it your kingdom and I won’t give a shit.  

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16 hours ago, Nicole44 said:

Lol. My dad started buying land there in the 1970’s through the mid-1980’s. He’d buy 100 acres there, a couple hundred more every couple of paychecks. I hate that he died so young (62) and never really got to retire and enjoy it. It’s between 6-7 square miles so a little over 4,000 acres. It’s a special place and I wish I had the opportunity to visit more than I do. I’ve often thought about moving back up there quite a bit lately. It was part of a state park (there is an actually dripping springs in the canyon) as well as the concrete remnants of the first Boy Scout camp west of the Mississippi. Tons and tons of arrowheads out there. It’s part of the Charles Goodnight trail/history. TAMUWT came out in the 1980s to take impressions of dinosaur tracks there also. Like i said, I really miss it. But with the pandemic, I personally don’t have the ability to go out and live there full time. Though I would actually love to. 

look, if you want to get married just go ahead and send me a private message.   thanks.   

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We’re also all lawyers. Not the shitty ones, we’re  like the cool corporate ones.

This is actually true. Very cool.

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On 6/19/2020 at 2:01 PM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

My friends all refer to my small (24 acre) place as El Rancho but I’ve always felt kinda weird calling it a “ranch”, even when we had horses.  To me a ranch has to have some livestock related functionality, regardless of size.  Maybe I should start referring to it as a wildlife preserve, since it’s under wildlife management, and we preserve some wildlife in sausage casings.  

To me what the land is used for would make it a ranch.  If it has real animals that are being raised for breeding and sale, and not just someone having 3 goats to get an Ag exemption, then I am okay with “ranch”.  Even if 50 acres or something small versus being The King Ranch.

Otherwise it is a “place”, “property”, “camp”, “country place”or whatever.

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Posted (edited)

Ranch starter pack:

1. Buffalo (the roaming kind)
2. Deer and antelope (capable of playing)
3. Lack of discouraging words
4. Clear skies

If located in Texas, you should also add:

1. Stars at night (should be big and bright)
2. Prairie sky (wide and high, but this may be covered by #4 above)
3. Sage (should be in bloom and have a pleasant odor, like perfume -- should remind you of someone you love)
4. Wailing coyotes, rushing rabbits, singing cowboys and bawling dogies, in various quantities

I think if you've got all of that you can call it a ranch.

Edited by Texas Jeff

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Our 72 acres (almost) has a little house on the hill (willie) that my Dad called The Little Ponderosa when he bought it in the 60's. It is a place not a ranch. 

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I am calling our property a ranch and I dont give two shits what anyone says about it. I think I am going to start calling my suburban house a ranch as well. I got chickens and an atv. Fuckit, I have two ranches!

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On 6/19/2020 at 2:50 PM, Jerry Callo said:

Regardless of the size considerations:  ranch = raise domesticated animals

Lotsa money these days to be made with gerbils.  It's not well known, but a man can raise 50,000 gerbils annually on an acre of land.

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1 hour ago, HOOKEM4 said:

I am calling our property a ranch and I dont give two shits what anyone says about it. I think I am going to start calling my suburban house a ranch as well. I got chickens and an atv. Fuckit, I have two ranches!

Moved to Santa Rita Ranch up in Wilco, did you?

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23 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

The acre is a unit of land area used in the imperial and US customary systems. It is traditionally defined as the area of one chain by one furlong, which is exactly equal to 10 square chains.

 

Our farm was originally surveyed out in Spanish Vara’s.   It originally totaled 351 acres and my dad bought 60 acres next door.  A large reservoir was built in the 80’s and eminent domain took about 100 acres total.  We run cattle on it as has been done since my Grandfather bought in in 1948.  He also raised hogs, turkeys and chickens on it at some point and grew feed corn and sorghum.  
 

It will always be “the farm” to us even though the last crop grown on it was a purple vetch crop I grew and combined for an ag class in 1981.

 

 

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On 6/19/2020 at 2:08 PM, Johnny Sack said:

Depends on the part of state.  

...

 

Far West Texas, shit a lot. 

 

On 6/19/2020 at 2:15 PM, Jerry Callo said:

ranchito


in marfa last fall talking to one of the locals over a beer at planet marfa; she lived on a ranch literally just outside of town.  1000 acres.  whoa.  “nah, land is cheap out here.  we call that a ranchito.”

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On 6/19/2020 at 6:39 PM, Nicole44 said:

Family ranch on the rim of the Palo Duro canyon in the Panhandle (not too far outside Claude, Texas). The views are beautiful. 

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Heheh.. fuck sake here we go again. You're land it damn close to my Uncle's. We gotta stop meeting like this.

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On 6/19/2020 at 5:58 PM, Texas_Rocks said:

Nice size ranch if you have one of these in the middle of nowhere.
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That's not a ranch, it a distribution hub for um... Agricultural products.

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I have 44 acres but it's only partially farmable, and certainly not enough to make a living. I might could run 5 head of cattle at max but it would be a chore to even do that.

I've spent a bunch of the Covid time building a motorcycle/four wheeler dirt track to ride on as well as a hiking path. It's riding track is up over 1/2 mile which isn't very long but I'm head up now. (I'm on a 400' verticle climb) it's not a single track if you run it around right now you might get 3/4-1 mile riding. MAYBE. Think I will have about 3-4 miles in total when finished.

So, it's certainly not a ranch or a farm. I do have a greenbelt tax exemption. I'm carving the path through trees and mostly "killing" bamboo. Only took down one tree over 12" diameter at base.

So... I'm going to go with "The Track".

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On 6/19/2020 at 6:05 PM, JBJ said:

If there's an area you refer to as the "back hundred [acres]" then it's a ranch.

If there’s a  “Southeast section,  past the 4th cattle guard”. It’s a ranch.  

The “back 100” is the lot you give to crazy uncle Fritz so he can keep his collection of junk cats out of sight

Of course the kids sneak back there and plink our anything glass with .22s and 410s until they are old enough for the 30-30s and .30-06s where the rest of the cars become targets. 

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Obv. a very select few have land that would compare in scale to the 6666 or XIT.

 

 

We coincidentally drove by the 6666 on Friday the same day I read your post. That’s a huge looking operation.

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Ranches typically get divided into pastures with cross fences, gates and such. The pastures have names like Pescado, lower White Cow, east Lucy Bell, Sunrise, etc.  By law, each of these pasture names must have their name spoken beginning with the word "The" to ensure proper identification. 

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Posted (edited)

I to am of the opinion that a landowner should be able to call it whatever he/she wants, with pride.  I'm not bothered by a 1 acre "Ranch" with a single cow.  I'd rather share in their pride than criticize.  I wish more people had a piece of land and worked it or raised something or at least shared their land with people who have never experienced that life.  I think this world would be better for it.   Our family owns a few hectares.

Edited by RollLeft

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We’ve always referred to our place (~500 acres) as “the pasture.” Not really sure why my grandad decided to call it that. Bout 100 ac is a field that’s regularly planted. 5 ac pecan orchard. 1 acre peach orchard. One permanent stock tank, one seasonal tank, and a creek that flows in the spring. Of the rest, about 70% is wooded. Pretty much always have cattle or goats. I figure it qualifies as a ranch, but it will forever be “the pasture.”

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Old man grew up on 55,000 acres near Miami. No running water until he was 17. Turned out to be a stones throw from Boone Pickens' place. 

Texas Monthly ran an article about ranches once and said for the big ones you need a better measurement. So a ranch might be 2.5 RI units. 

RI = Rhode Island. 

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A kid I graduated high school with was a son of the East Ranch family in South Texas. 130,000 acres or so. Now that’s a ranch!

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On 6/19/2020 at 5:26 PM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I can pull off the rancher look, but not the acreage.

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Is this a wedding photo?  I keed, I keed.  That is a  good looking donkey.  

I live on 40acres and we lease about 15 to the neighbor for his cattle and we cut and bale hay for sale on the rest.  Very rarely make any money off of it.  We even have a Ford F-150 King Ranch and I have never thought of it as a ranch.  Not near enough acreage.  

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I always say ‘I have some land.’ All together it’s 130 acres, with 29 heifers, 1 bull and 2 horses. It makes me uncomfortable when people call it a ranch. When I think of a ranch, at minimum 500 acres and at least a hundred head. And it’s a full time job.

Even if you have a 1000 acres, but no livestock I don’t consider that a ranch. You just have some land.

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Wife’s family has 380 or 400 acres in the Hempstead/Belleville/Sealey area. They refer to it as the ranch, and it used to be a working cattle ranch. Her father lives on it now, and he has about 10-15 cows but they’re more pets than anything. Right now all the land is used for is the stuff he hoards in his barn. Hes well into his 70s and not particularly healthy, so it will be interesting to see what happens to the land when he passes. He’s extremely irascible and eccentric and basically doesn’t let any improvements of the property happen. His brother will get it then, and he’s much more open to improving the property. It will eventually pass to my wife and sister in law unless our uncle changes his mind. At that point I hope we either sell it, or at the very least look into using the land to grow and harvest hay, so at least the land could hopefully fund improvements. As it stands half the acreage hasn’t even been mowed in a decade because we can’t even access it save by foot. Great for hunting though, assuming the fucking hogs don’t ruin it. 

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Wife's great aunt has 9 sections out in Turkey. I shake my head when I call my measly ol piece of dirt a ranch.  I do have 10 times the cattle though. Got that going for me I guess. 

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