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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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I have a similar cabinet, but most of the cups are on their side or just shoved in like it's a junk drawer.  You're just showing off.
And the original poster still wins as all of the one's he is showing are 1/3 to 2/3 full of water or liquids of some sort and are sitting on the night stand....where they have been for days or weeks.

Plot twist: that’s my side of the bed. She ran out of room the other night so she moved all those over to make space.
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When I was married the garage was for cars. If we had (translated: she put) too much shit in the garage for a car to fit in it was hers that parked in the driveway.

That’s where I’m at.

2039fe96e9cd5a4167d5367bb2d07e41.jpg

Posted earlier but our garage holds my car, my golf cart, and the beer fridge. The third bay is full of her crap so her car stays in the driveway.
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Anyone else have a wife that's really good at doing 75% of a project or chore?

She put up some new blinds causing a bit of sawdust to accumulate on the floor.  Later on, she's gone shopping and I see,

Broom

Dust pan

Pile of sawdust in-between.

#2

We recycle.  I have a large, Rubbermade container on the back porch we use.  Not a day goes by where I don't see a couple of plastic bottles, a soup can, some cardboard stacked by the back door.  One could stand at this spot, open the back door, and drop said recycling in the container w/o taking a step.

 

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22 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:


That’s where I’m at.

2039fe96e9cd5a4167d5367bb2d07e41.jpg

Posted earlier but our garage holds my car, my golf cart, and the beer fridge. The third bay is full of her crap so her car stays in the driveway.

I still don’t know what’s up with that coach light centered over the garage. There should be two coach lights on either side of the garage. If you’re going to have something centered above it, it should be a floodlight to light up your basketball area, or whatever you do in the driveway. 

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On 8/13/2021 at 3:41 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

Pretty sure he told us that he let her keep the chest enhancements he paid for and he got the rest.

I has no idea those could be used as bargaining chips but that's good for men everywhere.  Isn't there a saying about when you buy those you're paying for the next guy's enjoyment or something like that?

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I still don’t know what’s up with that coach light centered over the garage. There should be two coach lights on either side of the garage. If you’re going to have something centered above it, it should be a floodlight to light up your basketball area, or whatever you do in the driveway. 

858f0ec243a96dc9c14c4ad8b4e9de8e.jpg
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6 hours ago, Buzzrock said:


858f0ec243a96dc9c14c4ad8b4e9de8e.jpg

Yeah. I’d take those out, put one on each side of the right and left garage, and a floodlight up top. The staggered nature of the garages makes it look unbalanced.
Or maybe just one on each side of what I presume is your back door. You already have a flood at the far corner. 

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New one for me yesterday…driving on the interstate and traffic comes to an abrupt halt.

She looks over at me and asks “can you not do that?”

Me: “what?”

Her: “Stop so fast!!”

Me: “well I could just smash into the cars in front of us, what are you proposing I do instead?”

Her: Tone.

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1 hour ago, nnm said:

Yeah. I’d take those out, put one on each side of the right and left garage, and a floodlight up top. The staggered nature of the garages makes it look unbalanced.
Or maybe just one on each side of what I presume is your back door. You already have a flood at the far corner. 

I don't mind the lights, my problem is that it doesn't line up perfectly with the goal posts and the giant Longhorn. 

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14 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

We recycle.  I have a large, Rubbermade container on the back porch we use.  Not a day goes by where I don't see a couple of plastic bottles, a soup can, some cardboard stacked by the back door.  One could stand at this spot, open the back door, and drop said recycling in the container w/o taking a step.

 

image.thumb.jpeg.1873b72161ab69572a239a6a79afa0d1.jpeg

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New one for me yesterday…driving on the interstate and traffic comes to an abrupt halt.

She looks over at me and asks “can you not do that?”

Me: “what?”

Her: “Stop so fast!!”

Me: “well I could just smash into the cars in front of us, what are you proposing I do instead?”

Her: Tone.

My wife simultaneously complains I drive too slow and too fast and switch lanes too much and don’t switch lanes enough.

I hear it, but I don’t respond anymore.
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52 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Feels like the divorce rate would plummet if people took separate cars everywhere.

No, because then my wife would complain that she...
 - has to drive at night

 - has to put miles on her vehicle vs. mine

 - is using her fuel instead of mine

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43 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

No, because then my wife would complain that she...
 - has to drive at night

 - has to put miles on her vehicle vs. mine

 - is using her fuel instead of mine

I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

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8 minutes ago, Llogg said:

I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

It's not ME with the "his & hers" stuff.

I refer to it as "ROFL BOX - Co"... there's the Mrs. & Mr. division, different organizations, but ultimately part of the same overall corporation.  P&L happens, all income & out-go affects the entire organization.
She disagrees.

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I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

Wife?
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1 hour ago, Llogg said:

I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

You know you like to wear her panties when she’s not around

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New one for me yesterday…driving on the interstate and traffic comes to an abrupt halt.

She looks over at me and asks “can you not do that?”

Me: “what?”

Her: “Stop so fast!!”

Me: “well I could just smash into the cars in front of us, what are you proposing I do instead?”

Her: Tone.


This happens all the time. She's looking at her phone, and someone swerves into my lane and I have to hit the brakes.

Her: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Me: Stopping so I don't hit the moron who just cut it front of me. Would you prefer that I just run into them?
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4 hours ago, Llogg said:

I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

What about women?  Do you share women?

If so, we have a board for those stories.

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On 8/15/2021 at 4:21 PM, Llogg said:

I know everyone has ways of making their relationships work for them, but I just can't imagine my wife and I having mine and yours designations for fuel or mileage on cars. The only thing we don't share is her clothes. She freely grabs my shirts and hoodies.

So on any given day you walk into the garage and it’s 50/50 on which car you drive, or which one is left after she’s driven off in the other? Y’all don’t have “your car” and “my car?”

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2 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

So on any given day you walk into the garage and it’s 50/50 on which car you drive, or which one is left after she’s driven off in the other? Y’all don’t have “your car” and “my car?”

well, we don't but if I drove her car she wouldn't be upset about it. In fact, since my daughter turned 16 it's a crapshoot who drives what car on any given day.

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On 8/14/2021 at 5:52 PM, Buzzrock said:


That’s where I’m at.

2039fe96e9cd5a4167d5367bb2d07e41.jpg

Posted earlier but our garage holds my car, my golf cart, and the beer fridge. The third bay is full of her crap so her car stays in the driveway.

Suggestion.

Get a quote to have your garage floor coated and coax your wife into it being a good investment for your home.  That way all the shit in the garage will have to be moved out. She will discover that most of the stuff out there she will not need and boom, to the curb.  You get a new garage floor that looks great, and a clean space for you to drink beer alone in your garage.

Edited by Moby Ric
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I went to visit some towns in the Czech Republic and I took this photo. It’s a “prison for quarrelsome and rude women” that was in a cellar under the town square and built in the 1400s. About 25 feet underground.
I thought about that for a long time. I bet those guys would have posted here.
image.thumb.jpeg.eec1d7022f634c2fa21e6e9eee98d3a6.jpeg
 
 

I feel like some fucked up shit went on in there.
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16 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Suggestion.

Get a quote to have your garage floor coated and coax your wife into it being a good investment for your home.  That way all the shit in the garage will have to be moved out. She will discover that most of the stuff out there she will not need and boom, to the curb.  You get a new garage floor that looks great, and a clean space for you to drink beer alone in your garage.

I'm not even married and I know that she will look at that clean empty space in the garage and fill it with all new shit.

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Wife's Tahoe has a Garmin GPS on the dash & she keeps her work ID hanging from the power cord, approx. 9", maybe 12" down from the weighted base when not on the job.

Other day: "I want some sort of clip to keep the cord up. This thing keeps sliding around."

Me: "It's because your badge (with mask as an added weight of a feather) is on here & tugs it down with every road bump not helping."

Her: "No, I want to clip the power cord up on the base. That will stop it from moving."

Me: "All you are doing would be to move the weight up 1, maybe 2" inches from the current spot. It will continue to slide due to the weight of the badge clip, the reel, 2 badges & radiology monitor."

Her: "You don't know what you're talking about."

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

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