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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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5 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:


Seems like I purchase a 3 cables for 10 bucks deal on Amazon once a month.

This is the way. I bought so many charging cables there is never a shortage. 

I also have the wireless charging pads next to my bed and next to my desk at work and in my home office. 

I also buy my reading glasses in multipacks from Amazon. You can never have too many. 
 

 

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26 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

My wife used 1/2 cup of my 12 year old single malt scotch to make some kind of croc pot chicken, instead of the cheap stuff I bought her to cook with.

What the actual fuck. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

For starters - where do you even find a recipe that calls for scotch? The only scotch recipe I know is pour some in a glass, add ice if you want, shut up and drink it. 

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1 hour ago, Crapinon said:

My wife used 1/2 cup of my 12 year old single malt scotch to make some kind of croc pot chicken, instead of the cheap stuff I bought her to cook with.

I’m going to Edinburgh Sunday. I’ll pour one out for you. 

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59 minutes ago, ztejas said:

What the actual fuck. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

For starters - where do you even find a recipe that calls for scotch? The only scotch recipe I know is pour some in a glass, add ice if you want, shut up and drink it. 

Scotch, bourbon, she doesn't know the difference. I explained it to her tonight and hid the Scotch. 

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1 hour ago, ztejas said:

What the actual fuck. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

For starters - where do you even find a recipe that calls for scotch? The only scotch recipe I know is pour some in a glass, add ice if you want, shut up and drink it. 

My recipe for Oh Shit, I Did What? requires scotch.

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Please try and convince me why this is necessary.
I have a delivery job where my route is done through an app. I use navigation to get there, scan packages, take pictures as proof of delivery, etc. I work 7-10 hours per day. If I don't plug my phone in every time I get in the car, my battery will be dead in a few hours. Sometimes when I'm doing a tight route where I'm getting out every 2-3 minutes I don't plug in every time and after an hour I'm down to 65%. It goes down faster below 50% than it does above 50% so I keep it as charged as possible. Camera especially eats up the battery.

App developers aren't the smartest at battery usage. I sometimes get updates to the app that will literally eat battery so much that I can watch the battery go down 1% per second if I don't keep it plugged in, and then it just holds steady instead of going up. I have to turn the screen off and listen to directions instead of looking at the map, and then scan the package in my car and take the photo on zoom from my window. Luckily they usually fix that shit fairly quickly when the complaints come in.

Can't do my job without it. I've had a cord break and not notice it's not charging for a while, and suddenly it's below 15% and I'm scrounging for a cord because I know my phone will be dead in like 20 minutes.
I was gonna say... sounds like something a woman would do. 
Or someone who uses their phone as part of their job.
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Do you even MagSafe cradle, bro?
I'm looking into getting one soon. My vehicle is older and built for hauling tons of shit. About to hit 350k miles. Not a lot of good places to mount something like that, but we'll see. Is it Fast Charging for Android? Regular charging speeds can't keep up with the usage.

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15 hours ago, Modessit said:

I'm looking into getting one soon. My vehicle is older and built for hauling tons of shit. About to hit 350k miles. Not a lot of good places to mount something like that, but we'll see. Is it Fast Charging for Android? Regular charging speeds can't keep up with the usage.
 

You might look at Offroam.com.  They have magsafe magnetic holders that mount into the air vents (without restricting air flow) and can charge at the same time.  I don't think it's necessarily fast charge but it does charge.

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Olive oil and salt are some of those dumb products where theres 10x price difference between competing products even in the same store.  Wife buys this stupid miniature D.O.P. bottle of oil when she shops.  It runs out all the time.  Because 99.5% we use it for cooking, for the same total price, today I bought the extra virgin olive oil that comes in a gigantic metal tin.

"You know I hate it when you buy that big oil. It doesn't taste good".

I take the remaining fancy oil and set up a blind taste test vs the bulk oil.

"This one on the right has a bit more bitterness"

"OK, but which tastes better?"

"The one on the right. It tastes like real olives"

"Thats the new oil that I bought"

...

"...fine, whatever.  But I like my oil because it's Greek". 

"D.O.P. means yours comes from Italy".

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2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Olive oil and salt are some of those dumb products where theres 10x price difference between competing products even in the same store.  Wife buys this stupid miniature D.O.P. bottle of oil when she shops.  It runs out all the time.  Because 99.5% we use it for cooking, for the same total price, today I bought the extra virgin olive oil that comes in a gigantic metal tin.

"You know I hate it when you buy that big oil. It doesn't taste good".

I take the remaining fancy oil and set up a blind taste test vs the bulk oil.

"This one on the right has a bit more bitterness"

"OK, but which tastes better?"

"The one on the right. It tastes like real olives"

"Thats the new oil that I bought"

...

"...fine, whatever.  But I like my oil because it's Greek". 

"D.O.P. means yours comes from Italy".

Just buy the big bottle and refill her brand bottle from time to time. The label makes it taste the way she wants. 

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8 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Olive oil and salt are some of those dumb products where theres 10x price difference between competing products even in the same store.  Wife buys this stupid miniature D.O.P. bottle of oil when she shops.  It runs out all the time.  Because 99.5% we use it for cooking, for the same total price, today I bought the extra virgin olive oil that comes in a gigantic metal tin.

"You know I hate it when you buy that big oil. It doesn't taste good".

I take the remaining fancy oil and set up a blind taste test vs the bulk oil.

"This one on the right has a bit more bitterness"

"OK, but which tastes better?"

"The one on the right. It tastes like real olives"

"Thats the new oil that I bought"

...

"...fine, whatever.  But I like my oil because it's Greek". 

"D.O.P. means yours comes from Italy".

Something like 70% of the olive oil o. The market is fake.

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1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I couldn't laugh because it is exactly what my wife would have done.

Sometimes you have to just laugh at stuff like that.  My wife is exactly like this.  It's just one of her quirks.  She doesn't mean to be like that, just doesn't have that type of thinking in her.  She has many great qualities that offset it.  Used to be asshole me would just get pissed at someone for it.  Now I really try and just laugh and do it myself, or even better: Give her specific instructions on what I need from her.  That has gone a long way and she appreciates it.  

Her thoughts in a situation like this would be:  "I don't know where I'm going to put this stuff long term, so let me just get it out of your way so you can put the tree there"

And that's not really wrong, it's just different than my brain which would say: Don't put a plant that you water on top of some electronics, also you know it can't go there so find a temp home for it that we won't be agitated that it's there still if we don't move it right away

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On 6/22/2023 at 3:38 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

other than folks on a fixed income or legit living paycheck to paycheck, the number of folks who refuse to fill up their car until its basically running on empty astounds me.

I get that pumping gas isnt the most fun thing in the world, but constantly letting it get to 2 gallons or less would drive me up a fucking wall. 

 

Maybe they're in a declining price environment, so they manage inventory costs by purchasing fuel only when needed instead of stockpiling (keeping the tank full) like you would when prices are increasing?  Maybe they're simply being smart with money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xD  Who am I kidding?

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1 hour ago, uoftorange said:

Her thoughts in a situation like this would be:  "I don't know where I'm going to put this stuff long term, so let me just get it out of your way so you can put the tree there"

And that's not really wrong, it's just different than my brain which would say: Don't put a plant that you water on top of some electronics, also you know it can't go there so find a temp home for it that we won't be agitated that it's there still if we don't move it right away

The problem is that just putting stuff wherever is convenient in the moment is exactly why my wife can never find things.   

Most of the time, it takes literally 2-4 extra seconds to put stuff where it belongs, but my wife somehow can't do that, and we regularly spend 10+ minutes looking for something that she stuck someplace random.

I really don't understand how my wife's college roommates didn't kill her over stuff like this.

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On 12/2/2023 at 8:52 PM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Something like 70% of the olive oil o. The market is fake.

 

2 hours ago, Mittens said:

Apparently that stat is BS: https://www.aboutoliveoil.org/olive-oil-fraud

Quote

In 2010, the UC Davis Olive Center, an organization created to promote the sale of California olive oil, published a report funded by California olive oil producers and companies. The purpose of the report was to make news that would discredit their competition – imported olive oils. The now-infamous report claimed "69 percent of imported olive oil samples and 10 percent of California olive oil samples labeled as extra virgin olive oil failed to meet the IOC/USDA sensory standards for extra virgin olive oil." In layman's terms, this means these samples failed a taste test. Sounds pretty fishy that something as subjective as a taste test would be used to determine if an olive oil has been adulterated, doesn't it?

 

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4 hours ago, heso said:

My wife is a classic example of intelligence not transferring from one domain to another. She does R&D chemistry. She’s published papers about quaternary diamond-like semiconductors. But the god damn reverse card in uno baffles her. Our 6 year old daughter has no problem keeping track of whose turn it is, but my wife gets confused by it regularly. 

Wives don’t know how to go back on anything, unless it’s to dig up stupid to get mad at their husbands

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3 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Have any of your wives bought overpriced decorated cookies and if so what was the price?

Heh.  GF's cousin has invited us to a "cookie decorating party".  She makes cookies, she wants others to decorate them, and then she is going to give them away as christmas presents.  So, she gets free kitchen labor.  I'm drawing cocks and balls on every cookie.

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18 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Wife who is enormously pregnant (like, next week) made Christmas cookies again and I’m making another push at “do this as a business”. She is very good at the cookies and not good at figuring out the other stuff, I feel like Holiday cookies (Xmas, teacher appreciation, valentines) would be an easy way to do this as a business a little bit and then expand into taking orders, cakes, etc later. But trying to do a price check it seems insane, was also seeing like $50/box which is bananas. Apologies if this is a thread jack, although the quote from my wife was “I want to go into labor so I don’t have to be doing this anymore” as she hunched over the table like an angry beach ball.

IMG_5303.thumb.jpeg.e25736c0daa131188168160b71d78fcb.jpeg

Those are some really nice-looking cookies. Very professional. I’ll bet those would sell.

Oh, also…congrats.

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On 12/4/2023 at 5:54 PM, heso said:

My wife is a classic example of intelligence not transferring from one domain to another. She does R&D chemistry. She’s published papers about quaternary diamond-like semiconductors. But the god damn reverse card in uno baffles her. Our 6 year old daughter has no problem keeping track of whose turn it is, but my wife gets confused by it regularly. 

LOL I have friends who are lawyers, engineers, MBAs, etc. that can't fucking keep track of their turn in Uno.  Pisses me off. 

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10 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Heh.  GF's cousin has invited us to a "cookie decorating party".  She makes cookies, she wants others to decorate them, and then she is going to give them away as christmas presents.  So, she gets free kitchen labor.  I'm drawing cocks and balls on every cookie.

b486zg6tyl4y.jpg

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1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Wife who is enormously pregnant (like, next week) made Christmas cookies again and I’m making another push at “do this as a business”. She is very good at the cookies and not good at figuring out the other stuff, I feel like Holiday cookies (Xmas, teacher appreciation, valentines) would be an easy way to do this as a business a little bit and then expand into taking orders, cakes, etc later. But trying to do a price check it seems insane, was also seeing like $50/box which is bananas. Apologies if this is a thread jack, although the quote from my wife was “I want to go into labor so I don’t have to be doing this anymore” as she hunched over the table like an angry beach ball.

 

My ex-wife loved high-end costume jewelry.  She is/was a school teacher and wanted to get into selling the Stella & Dot jewelry as a side gig.  This is very similar to selling other stuff at home parties, etc.  You have to buy some stock up-front at a heavy discount and then sell that along with taking orders from a catalog.  You then build your business from there and "recruit" other sellers so that you can get a percentage of their sales.

Ex-wife:  I am interested in selling jewelry.

Me:  Ok.  What does it require?

Ex-wife:  You have to buy stock up front to sell.

Me:  Why do you want to do this?  Is it to make extra money or for you to get more jewelry to wear at a discount?

Ex-wife:  I think that it would be fun.

Me:  Ok as long as when you get tired of doing this gig you are not in the red.

Ex-wife:  (in a huff reply) Why are you saying no?

Me:  I did not say no.  I just want to make sure that you are not upside down when you decide to quit doing this.

Ex-wife:  (angrily)  Fine.  Have it your way.  I will not do it.

Narrator:  A couple of years later she does it.  Care to take a guess?

 

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19 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

My ex-wife loved high-end costume jewelry.  She is/was a school teacher and wanted to get into selling the Stella & Dot jewelry as a side gig.  This is very similar to selling other stuff at home parties, etc.  You have to buy some stock up-front at a heavy discount and then sell that along with taking orders from a catalog.  You then build your business from there and "recruit" other sellers so that you can get a percentage of their sales.

Ex-wife:  I am interested in selling jewelry.

Me:  Ok.  What does it require?

Ex-wife:  You have to buy stock up front to sell.

Me:  Why do you want to do this?  Is it to make extra money or for you to get more jewelry to wear at a discount?

Ex-wife:  I think that it would be fun.

Me:  Ok as long as when you get tired of doing this gig you are not in the red.

Ex-wife:  (in a huff reply) Why are you saying no?

Me:  I did not say no.  I just want to make sure that you are not upside down when you decide to quit doing this.

Ex-wife:  (angrily)  Fine.  Have it your way.  I will not do it.

Narrator:  A couple of years later she does it.  Care to take a guess?

 

ugggggh my mother in law does paparazzi and it is the worst

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Wife who is enormously pregnant (like, next week) made Christmas cookies again and I’m making another push at “do this as a business”. She is very good at the cookies and not good at figuring out the other stuff, I feel like Holiday cookies (Xmas, teacher appreciation, valentines) would be an easy way to do this as a business a little bit and then expand into taking orders, cakes, etc later. But trying to do a price check it seems insane, was also seeing like $50/box which is bananas. Apologies if this is a thread jack, although the quote from my wife was “I want to go into labor so I don’t have to be doing this anymore” as she hunched over the table like an angry beach ball.
IMG_5303.thumb.jpeg.e25736c0daa131188168160b71d78fcb.jpeg

I don’t know your wife from a hot rock. But I’d bet you lunch if she makes it a business it will cost you money.
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