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Oh shit: New pillow guy lawsuit coming "in two weeks"


Gil Bang

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CANCEL CULTURE!  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The irony of a guy slinging sleepy-time pillows is crying "WOKE!"  

Which gives me an idea for MAGA nation alarm clocks.  Each morning greeted by an inspirational message from our Dear Leader and it mists out a gentle orange spray that smells of.....I dunno...victory.  

Laugh at Mike all you want, we're going to breaking down his life story and ascent to high politics for decades.  I have no fucking idea how we're gonna explain it to future generations but they're sure as shit gonna be asking questions.  

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While Trump pretty much seems to ignore Lindell these days, I don't know that I have seen him outright throw him under the bus. We all know that will happen, and the look on Lindell's face when Trump claims he doesn't even know who Lindell is ...

Stephen-colbert-kiss GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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It is sometimes extra disturbing to realize that Mike Lindell is actually one of the smarter people of MAGA nation.  This is the crazy shit the Bannerman is up to, imagine what the fuck is going on with the rank 'n file among MAGA.  This guy actually had something to lose and still went down the rabbit hole.  Imagine, John Q. Anon who only has his trailer, F-250, and gun collection.  So many more of them are going to down even more spectacularly.  Losing jobs, custody battles, parole hearings, scratch-off winnings, etc.  

Whenever you lose sight of whether or not MAGA is just a political movement.  Read about people like Mike Lindell giving up everything for the hint of a possibility that a lie might be true.  That's a cult, by literal definition.  

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7 hours ago, C-Man said:

I simply had to copy this quote from Lindell's statement in the link above:

“I do every customer like my only customer and every employee like my only employee,” he told the station.

So now I have to assume he screws his customers and employees equally.

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3 hours ago, AnTiM said:

I simply had to copy this quote from Lindell's statement in the link above:

“I do every customer like my only customer and every employee like my only employee,” he told the station.

So now I have to assume he screws his customers and employees equally.


blows them for free crack ?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Now that's a name I haven't heard in years Blank Template ...

 

On 7/11/2023 at 9:43 PM, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

quite a phrase. "They did cancel culture on us." They. Whoever "they" is did this TO them. They had no hand in it whatsoever. victim snowflakes, the lot of them

Yeah, it was "Them" not any of the following:

  • Going down a conspiracy rabbit hole that caused Fox News to pay out 878 Million in the first of many defamation lawsuits about the conspiracy you foisted
  • Now the lawsuits are coming for you
  • Basically buying a "channel" to stream/broadcast the conspiracy lies for days at a time.  Instead of just making smaller youtube bite sized packet of shit.  How much does it cost to take over Newsmax per day?
  • Putting up $5 million for anyone that could prove your shitty data was bogus (Narrator: It took a couple hours to prove)
  • Funding Q Anon / Trump rallies where tens of people showed up all around the country
  • Being so obnoxious no-one can stand you
  • Flooding the market with your non-consumable product so that anyone that was in the market for it and could stomach your lies already has over twice as many of them as they need and they can't give them away.
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So we're just gonna leave that claim dangling in the wind.  

A 62 year old just claimed on national television that's been working for 18 hours per day for 30 straight days.  Safely presume he spends at least one hour each of those days not working, but awake on activities of daily living like eating, bathing, dressing, toileting, etc.  At 62 years of age, running both the recovery of a rather well-known constitutional Republic as well as a rather large linen company.  

Do you know how somebody can accomplish all that at 62?  You guessed it!  Crack cocaine.  

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As much as we like to berate him, and perhaps somewhat rightfully so, at one point he really did have a remarkable personal/professional story.  That company really did at some point have an addict in recovery at the helm and was leading them to phenomenal YoY EBIDTA growth.  Brought in very impressive outside capital, preferable debt structures to expand physical operations, made LP's happy, etc.

But think, right now in this reality, how his board meetings are going in real life:

"Folks, I know we've had a few consecutive bad quarters.  Some unsub debt has been called.  We are nowhere near IRR nor growth projections.  Low morale, high level attrition, defamation, and brand suffering.  I admit, that I may have had my eye slightly off the ball for the last two weeks.  (checks notes)...two years.  But that's only because I'm pilfering money from this company...our company...to prove what the entire judicial apparatus of this country could not do in 2 1/2 years in 70 different legal venues.  And isn't that mission of My Pillow?  A good night's rest for the criminally insane and very likely the once-again crack addicted?  I will give you the room for closed session discussion.  God bless..."

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15 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Don’t addicts have the misfortune of channeling their addictive qualities into something new when they work to get clean?

I don't know if that's true all the time, but I know often times it is.  I guess going from crack, to business growth, to conspiracy pushing might be a worthy of a new study.  Also an interesting study might be percentage of people in recovery that got looped into Qanon stuff.  I have no idea if there is a correlation, but it would be interesting to know.  

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Yes, that's very often the case.  However, it's rarely suggested by recovery programs, sponsors, counselors, clinicians, nor rehab employees...to engage in the channeling of your newfound energies and sense of purpose into a fool's errand directed by a cult which has left literally thousands in its wake...penniless, imprisoned, and insane.  And why do professionals and loved ones alike advise against joining political or religious movements after going sober?  because there's only two outcomes...you get so entrenched in it, you're beyond saving again.  Or you see the folly of your ways and guess what takes the edge off that embarrassment and newfound shame?  You guessed it!  More drugs.

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Yes, that's very often the case.  However, it's rarely suggested by recovery programs, sponsors, counselors, clinicians, nor rehab employees...to engage in the channeling of your newfound energies and sense of purpose into a fool's errand directed by a cult which has left literally thousands in its wake...penniless, imprisoned, and insane.  And why do professionals and loved ones alike advise against joining political or religious movements after going sober?  because there's only two outcomes...you get so entrenched in it, you're beyond saving again.  Or you see the folly of your ways and guess what takes the edge off that embarrassment and newfound shame?  You guessed it!  More drugs.

 

Behold the mantra of the Republican Party of today.

Edited by AnTiM
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On 7/28/2023 at 1:54 PM, Biff Tannen said:

Lol, why does this guy still exist?

5 years ago Albertsons in Boise (their headquarters) opened a new flagship Market Street store next to Boise St. and I still remember seeing this guy with his Mypillow van in the parking lot on opening weekend sitting in the back of the van with no one around trying to sell these pillow from the van. No other employees helping out or anything, and just seeing Mike Lindell sitting in the back alone like the sadest kid in school. Always stuck with me up back then and explains a shitton today. 

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