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Posted
3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

I don’t know what Parkay is. 
I’m surprised that they are telling the story that I stirred with my finger instead of my dong. If you are going to make something up go all the way. Say I did it after crawling out of the sex tent!  

The squeeze butter in older texmex restaurants. 

Don't knock it till you try it. Just don't mention it to your cardiologist

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Rockethorn1978 said:

Haha wow committed since June 28? I’m sure he’s locked in here for good. December is a long ways away.

Rachel Dratch Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

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Posted
2 hours ago, cafe society said:

I don’t think the DFW people hate Houston but Houstonians surely do hate DFW.

Having lived in both, Houstonians don’t wake up thinking about Dallas, but Dallas folks sure seem to bring up Houston a lot. Dallas has a superiority complex and Houston lives rent-free in their heads.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

20 minutes later as we were driving down an isolated road a mountain lion casually crossed the road in front of us and walked into the brush, giving us a perfect view. Very strange evening. No one in that area had seen a mountain lion except for one lady transplant who had said she’d seen one,  but had been ridiculed over it.

i absolutely believe you and think you should report the sighting

just know that as of 2022 this is the "accepted" range:

wsb1361-fig-0001-m.webp.c7a39918281e5c28322d190814e36e13.webp

Posted
4 minutes ago, kevwun said:

3 number 1 ranked players seems pretty good.  Next year maybe don't shit yourselves around July 4th.

I reserve the right to overreact and shit myself whenever the hell I want.  

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Posted
3 hours ago, tejas60 said:

shitting out in the wild is highly underrated.

No, it sucks. It’s about as inconvenient a thing as any person can have to do, especially when caught without toilet paper. My first attempt when camping as a ten year old ended poorly. The shitting part went fine, I guess, but I failed to account for the part where I pissed down the back of my pants. And it was just an overnight trip out on our property, so I didn’t have backup pants. My dad thought it was a hilarious right of passage and refused to run home to get me some dry pants. 
 

However, nothing will ever compare to my last adventure in the State Fairgrounds, an hour or two prior to the kickoff of 2019 Texas/OU, when I was forced to accept the fact that the bubbling in my gut was not going to wait for me to stand in any of the ridiculously long bathroom lines nearby.
 

Scared to death of the obvious consequences of shitting my pants in front of the most insufferable, inbred fan base known to man, I desperately sought refuge behind some bushes outside the Museum of Nature and Science, sans toilet paper, or even a napkin. I was willing to risk arrest to avoid the unthinkable.
 

Thankfully, the bushes were thick and tall, and I don’t skip leg day, so I was able to wall squat long enough to complete the first, and most important part of my mission: not shitting my pants. As anyone who’s had hungover bubble guts can tell you, though, phase two, or clean up, especially without toilet paper or a wet wipe, presented quite a challenge. I scrounged up whatever rocks and leaves I could find in my little make-shift fortress of solitude and did the best I could. Admittedly, my best was still not that great. The rocks were covered in dirt and the leaves were small and brittle. I really just exchanged one mess for another.
 

I eventually called it, “good enough,” and pulled up my pants, but I left my underwear sagging inside them a little, trying to keep that which the rocks and leaves couldn’t clean from touching any cotton. I was at least able to wait my turn in the bathroom line long enough to complete cleanup in there. I can’t remember if the underwear was salvageable or not. Seems like they were…🤔

 

Anyway, those of you who enjoy shitting in the wild can have it. I suspect few of you have experienced the duress that accompanied my forced participation in the practice, and I hope you never have the opportunity to relate. 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Chili dog said:

No, it sucks. It’s about as inconvenient a thing as any person can have to do, especially when caught without toilet paper. My first attempt when camping as a ten year old ended poorly. The shitting part went fine, I guess, but I failed to account for the part where I pissed down the back of my pants. And it was just an overnight trip out on our property, so I didn’t have backup pants. My dad thought it was a hilarious right of passage and refused to run home to get me some dry pants. 
 

However, nothing will ever compare to my last adventure in the State Fairgrounds, an hour or two prior to the kickoff of 2019 Texas/OU, when I was forced to accept the fact that the bubbling in my gut was not going to wait for me to stand in any of the ridiculously long bathroom lines nearby.
 

Scared to death of the obvious consequences of shitting my pants in front of the most insufferable, inbred fan base known to man, I desperately sought refuge behind some bushes outside the Museum of Nature and Science, sans toilet paper, or even a napkin. I was willing to risk arrest to avoid the unthinkable.
 

Thankfully, the bushes were thick and tall, and I don’t skip leg day, so I was able to wall squat long enough to complete the first, and most important part of my mission: not shitting my pants. As anyone who’s had hungover bubble guts can tell you, though, phase two, or clean up, especially without toilet paper or a wet wipe, presented quite a challenge. I scrounged up whatever rocks and leaves I could find in my little make-shift fortress of solitude and did the best I could. Admittedly, my best was still not that great. The rocks were covered in dirt and the leaves were small and brittle. I really just exchanged one mess for another.
 

I eventually called it, “good enough,” and pulled up my pants, but I left my underwear sagging inside them a little, trying to keep that which the rocks and leaves couldn’t clean from touching any cotton. I was at least able to wait my turn in the bathroom line long enough to complete cleanup in there. I can’t remember if the underwear was salvageable or not. Seems like they were…🤔

 

Anyway, those of you who enjoy shitting in the wild can have it. I suspect few of you have experienced the duress that accompanied my forced participation in the practice, and I hope you never have the opportunity to relate. 

This story reminds of the time I had lunch with Wulaw. Or at least, what I assume was his aftermath. 

Just now, speed817 said:

Gv7b_r1WEAAEfjK.thumb.jpeg.dfe240b08ec29dab63b1028ce6ff51df.jpeg

This is just outstanding, sir. 

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Posted
6 minutes ago, Chili dog said:

No, it sucks. It’s about as inconvenient a thing as any person can have to do, especially when caught without toilet paper. My first attempt when camping as a ten year old ended poorly. The shitting part went fine, I guess, but I failed to account for the part where I pissed down the back of my pants. And it was just an overnight trip out on our property, so I didn’t have backup pants. My dad thought it was a hilarious right of passage and refused to run home to get me some dry pants. 
 

However, nothing will ever compare to my last adventure in the State Fairgrounds, an hour or two prior to the kickoff of 2019 Texas/OU, when I was forced to accept the fact that the bubbling in my gut was not going to wait for me to stand in any of the ridiculously long bathroom lines nearby.
 

Scared to death of the obvious consequences of shitting my pants in front of the most insufferable, inbred fan base known to man, I desperately sought refuge behind some bushes outside the Museum of Nature and Science, sans toilet paper, or even a napkin. I was willing to risk arrest to avoid the unthinkable.
 

Thankfully, the bushes were thick and tall, and I don’t skip leg day, so I was able to wall squat long enough to complete the first, and most important part of my mission: not shitting my pants. As anyone who’s had hungover bubble guts can tell you, though, phase two, or clean up, especially without toilet paper or a wet wipe, presented quite a challenge. I scrounged up whatever rocks and leaves I could find in my little make-shift fortress of solitude and did the best I could. Admittedly, my best was still not that great. The rocks were covered in dirt and the leaves were small and brittle. I really just exchanged one mess for another.
 

I eventually called it, “good enough,” and pulled up my pants, but I left my underwear sagging inside them a little, trying to keep that which the rocks and leaves couldn’t clean from touching any cotton. I was at least able to wait my turn in the bathroom line long enough to complete cleanup in there. I can’t remember if the underwear was salvageable or not. Seems like they were…🤔

 

Anyway, those of you who enjoy shitting in the wild can have it. I suspect few of you have experienced the duress that accompanied my forced participation in the practice, and I hope you never have the opportunity to relate. 

Why not just use your socks?  

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Posted
10 minutes ago, Saint Tacky said:

Having lived in both, Houstonians don’t wake up thinking about Dallas, but Dallas folks sure seem to bring up Houston a lot. Dallas has a superiority complex and Houston lives rent-free in their heads.

That is the single most ignorant thing I have read on here outside of Helobious in ages.  I've lived years in DFW (granted, not in many years) without Houston mentioned in conversation at all except in reference to sports.  Dallasites are self-absorbed and their field of cultivated fucks is barren with regard to Houston.   They are far more snooty and petulantly envious with regard to Fort Worth.

Posted
2 minutes ago, SarkAfterDark said:

We’ve had 2 5 stars commit today and some of you unfunny fucks still can’t stop with the off topic stupid shit. 

So you're saying that we got two 5 stars when the thread was full of off topic shit? And you want it to not be full of off topic shit in the future? Do you not like getting 5 star recruits? 

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