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Dallas Cowboys Metathread - Oh No We Suck Again!


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1 minute ago, 'stache said:

Nice, GTFO asshole. Although, he'll probably dominate Fat Mike as long as he's there, since he knows his tendency to do the same shit over and over even if it doesn't work.

That will be countered by his tendency to allow receivers to run wide open all over the field.

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So it appears he’s like the 7th choice. I wonder if he got more money than Fat Mike’s meager $4 mil a year.

How do you sell that hire as the new owner with the hotshot basketball dude? Out of everyone out there, we’re hiring Mr 28-3. The dude that collapsed against a really young packers team.

He might take Joe Whitt as his DC.

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What's going to be telling is the DC hire. Will it be a young innovative guy who can adjust to modern offenses? Of course not, that type of coach won't be one of Jerry's perferred yes men. It'll be some old ass boring retread who sucks shit, guaranteed. Is Rod Marinelli still alive? Jerry would probably be happy to Weekend and Bernies him to ensure only Jerry ever gets credit for anything.

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It occurs to me that Jerry's plan is to hire an OC - and now a DC. His tight ass can squeeze out enough money for that level, but to get the very best, he's gonna have to promise one that if your Offense (or Defense) shines, you will be the head coach when FatLazy's contract runs out. He'll throw in that "you have to continue to exhibit the leadership of an HC, but we already know you got that." Now with two Coordinator slots open, he can play one against the other for that HC position. Make the same promise to both.

Also, he can tell each coordinator candidate "Look, you can just ignore anything the Fat Fuck tells you. Do your job and make your Offense (Defense) shine, and you'll be a shoe-in come next season."

The plan could work. If you're a cheapskate, how else you gonna get a young, innovative HC ala Shanahan?

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15 hours ago, TornACL said:

If you really want a shock, start that Cowboys Vikings video at 1:15:00 and watch for a couple of minutes.

I watched all these old playoff games during COVID while working from home and I thought I was hallucinating when I saw this.

And back to the game. Nothing much to see there...

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43 minutes ago, markstanco said:

I find it odd that some of yall are buying into the recency bias with Dan Quinn. He was a great DC, to the point where he is now a HC.

We are aggy.

Man, it don't make a shit either way. This organization has way, way deeper problems than the name of the defensive coordinator.

Worrying about losing DQ is like saying my haircut is gonna cost me a chance to fuck Ana de Armas. Technically, sure, she's not fucking any dudes with bad haircuts. But the truth is, I'm never going to even get within 500 yards of Ana de Armas in the first place. Per the judge's order.

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10 hours ago, markstanco said:

I find it odd that some of yall are buying into the recency bias with Dan Quinn. He was a great DC, to the point where he is now a HC.

We are aggy.

Well the most recent game was as pathetic a defensive performance as I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been an OSU fan since the late 90s. Let a no name qb carve him up nonstop for an entire game in the first round of the playoffs is not offset by some decent regular season performances. Fuck him, he deserves Washington and vice versa, hope the stadium crumbles in him and their jackass new owner.

Edited by 'stache
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On 2/1/2024 at 10:25 AM, Radical Larry said:


It’s going to be Ron Rivera.

The convenient thing about hiring Rivera is that it buys you at least 3 years before you have to fire him. He's gas station food -- filled a void but nothing exciting. 

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5 minutes ago, DougO said:

"Zimmer spent the 2023 campaign away from the game but studying current trends as part of an effort to return to the sidelines."

 

So there... it will all be just fine.

 

Was he in a barn?  It only works if he was studying in a barn.

Edited by Surly Bevo
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14 hours ago, DougO said:

"Zimmer spent the 2023 campaign away from the game but studying current trends as part of an effort to return to the sidelines."

 

So there... it will all be just fine.

 

Oh goodie, at least he is well rested.  67 year old DC trying to adapt to hybrid college/nfl offenses. 

giphy.gif

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Jerry and his comfort hires. First he recycled through Jimmy's staff, then he kept the wrong Parcels disciple and now he requires a guy to have 30 years in the league with moderate success. Bienemy has some years to go before Jerry gives him a look. Still too young, but his resume is lining up for Jerry's liking.  

He is so stubborn and has only an inkling of what to do with roster and staff. 

We all know how the Zimmerman hire will go, good regular season, shitty postseason, ends up the head coach when fat boy is canned. 

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3 hours ago, Dewey said:

Jerry and his comfort hires. First he recycled through Jimmy's staff, then he kept the wrong Parcels disciple and now he requires a guy to have 30 years in the league with moderate success. Bienemy has some years to go before Jerry gives him a look. Still too young, but his resume is lining up for Jerry's liking.  

He is so stubborn and has only an inkling of what to do with roster and staff. 

We all know how the Zimmerman hire will go, good regular season, shitty postseason, ends up the head coach when fat boy is canned. 

Meanwhile, after that shit show playoff loss, Jerruh extended this guy's contract:

image.thumb.png.e3a2bebcde027eaee8271af873df5d95.png

We're George.

im-george2.gif?w=355

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15 hours ago, Dewey said:

Jerry and his comfort hires. First he recycled through Jimmy's staff, then he kept the wrong Parcels disciple and now he requires a guy to have 30 years in the league with moderate success. Bienemy has some years to go before Jerry gives him a look. Still too young, but his resume is lining up for Jerry's liking.  

He is so stubborn and has only an inkling of what to do with roster and staff. 

We all know how the Zimmerman hire will go, good regular season, shitty postseason, ends up the head coach when fat boy is canned. 

Yup, you know this is what will happen. Nobody young and innovative wants to work for Jerry, and Jerry doesn’t want a young guy getting any credit. So it’ll be Zimmer who will be HC at 70. Fuck Jerry.

Edited by 'stache
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  • immamac changed the title to Dallas Cowboys Metathread - Oh No We Suck Again!

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