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Fuck you, chirping smoke detector


Dennis Taylor

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10 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

So Monday morning I'm on a conference call, and I thought I might have heard one chirp a couple times.  Call ends,don't hear it anymore so I forgot about it and went about my day. 

3:18 in the motherfucking AM today, dead asleep...'chirp'...then nothing.  Doze back off to sleep...3:29...'chirp' . Wife stirs a little bit...I get up and stand under the one I think it is...nothing...go take a piss, come back to it...silence. Wait another 3 or 4 minutes and get back in bed. Laying there ... Waiting for another chirp. Nothing....doze off again...4:07 'chirp ' . Motherfucker. Stand by the one I think it is again...4:14 'chirp ' ...from upstairs! Motherfucker! Go to garage to get the ladder, grab the package of 9v batteries. Wife- " Do you need some help?" Yeah right.  That'll go well..."No honey that's ok" . Go upstairs...Waiting...Waiting...4:26 'chirp'...Motherfucker! Which one was it? There's 3 within 15 feet of me.  4:32 'chirp '...Aha I got you you little bastard! Change battery, get back in bed...laying there ...laying there...laying th...doze off...2 minutes later- Alarm

Fuck you chirping smoke detector

How do I know you’re not blek?

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I got tired of trying to find the chirping smoke detector (at 3:00 am) among the 8 or so detectors in my various homes over the years so my Thanksgiving weekend ritual is to replace the batteries in all of them each year.  I haven’t had a chirping smoke detector in about 15 years.  

14 minutes ago, huge said:

Mine are all wired and one has started chirping.  

 

wtf

Mine are wired too, but they all have a backup 9v battery. 

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I have a weekly Zoom meeting with a group of about 15.  One dude has had a chirping smoke detector for over a fucking year.  Easy to tell who is it.....so we all sent him a 9v battery about 3 months ago.  I guess that is the hill he is going to die on because he STILL hasn't changed it.  

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25 minutes ago, HouTex said:

I got tired of trying to find the chirping smoke detector (at 3:00 am) among the 8 or so detectors in my various homes over the years so my Thanksgiving weekend ritual is to replace the batteries in all of them each year.  I haven’t had a chirping smoke detector in about 15 years.  

Mine are wired too, but they all have a backup 9v battery. 

finally figured that out at 5am today

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1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

So Monday morning I'm on a conference call, and I thought I might have heard one chirp a couple times.  Call ends,don't hear it anymore so I forgot about it and went about my day. 

3:18 in the motherfucking AM today, dead asleep...'chirp'...then nothing.  Doze back off to sleep...3:29...'chirp' . Wife stirs a little bit...I get up and stand under the one I think it is...nothing...go take a piss, come back to it...silence. Wait another 3 or 4 minutes and get back in bed. Laying there ... Waiting for another chirp. Nothing....doze off again...4:07 'chirp ' . Motherfucker. Stand by the one I think it is again...4:14 'chirp ' ...from upstairs! Motherfucker! Go to garage to get the ladder, grab the package of 9v batteries. Wife- " Do you need some help?" Yeah right.  That'll go well..."No honey that's ok" . Go upstairs...Waiting...Waiting...4:26 'chirp'...Motherfucker! Which one was it? There's 3 within 15 feet of me.  4:32 'chirp '...Aha I got you you little bastard! Change battery, get back in bed...laying there ...laying there...laying th...doze off...2 minutes later- Alarm

Fuck you chirping smoke detector

I feel your pain.  I’ve been there. I’ve stood still in the middle of the night, waiting for the damn thing, to track it down, and then narrow it down from among the several it could be. Rage. 
 

I now follow the @HouTex plan and change them once a year. I choose Easter instead of Tgiving, but same idea. 

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48 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

They also have an end of life chirp for maximum annoyance.  I can handle changing a backup battery, but the whole replace them after 10 years is big smoke detector pulling one over on us. 

 

That shit got me a couple years ago. Ended up buying a 6 pack on Amazon and replacing all of them at once. 

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2 hours ago, huge said:

Mine are all wired and one has started chirping.  

 

wtf

They only chirp for two reasons, bad battery, or bad unit.  If it's hard wired and chirping it means the unit itself has detected an internal fault.  It does this so you will replace it.  Irritating, no doubt, but effective.  

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50 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

They also have an end of life chirp for maximum annoyance.  I can handle changing a backup battery, but the whole replace them after 10 years is big smoke detector pulling one over on us. 

 

They do need to be replaced over time as the sensors degrade (10yr is from time of manufacture, not use, so don't be buying them off ebay unless "new"), it's also why I replaced my wired ones with cheaper battery only ones.

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I didn't know about the end of life thing. I kept replacing the battery on one but it kept chirping, then the alarm went off. Scared my pups  and me because of course,  it was the wee hours of the morning. Aaaaah! I ripped the thing out and threw it in the trash. I got a new one and installed it the next day. I would have trashed it sooner had I known.

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3 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Motherfucker! Which one was it? There's 3 within 15 feet of me.  4:32 'chirp '...Aha I got you you little bastard!

Shoulda changed all 3 while you had the batteries and ladder. Then changed the rest after work the next day. 
 

unless you enjoyed this experience and want it to happen again and again over the next few months. 

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7 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Shoulda changed all 3 while you had the batteries and ladder. Then changed the rest after work the next day. 
 

unless you enjoyed this experience and want it to happen again and again over the next few months. 

I'm going to do it during normal business hours 

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3 hours ago, hullabelew said:

I have a weekly Zoom meeting with a group of about 15.  One dude has had a chirping smoke detector for over a fucking year.  Easy to tell who is it.....so we all sent him a 9v battery about 3 months ago.  I guess that is the hill he is going to die on because he STILL hasn't changed it.  

I had friends who lived in home that was tall enough for two stories but just had high ceilings on about 90% of the house. They did have one bedroom that had a private staircase leading to it. The contractor put a smoke detector above the staircase where it was impossible to access without an adjustable ladder. Neither of them could get to the detector and I swear it chirped for 2 years. I haven't been over there in a while but it wouldn't surprise me if it was still going. 

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my wife and son are more or less anti-smoke-detector for this reason alone.

Me, I am very reluctantly keeping them around, because

1. the difference between surviving a house fire and not is very often the presence of a smoke detector, and

2. my wife is the sort of person to leave shit on the stove and forget about it. this happens at least once a quarter

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5 hours ago, huge said:

Mine are all wired and one has started chirping.  

 

wtf


same here. Mine started chirping about 4am every morning awhile back. Swapped out the 9 volt batteries and it finally stopped 

I need a 8ft ladder to reach mine. 10ft would be safer

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6 hours ago, squib said:

Go on vacation. Invite old MIL to house to watch dog for a week. She calls and says the dog has gone crazy--jumping on kitchen table, barking non-stop, tearing shit up. Not like the dog. Continues for several days. Says she is tired of dealing with insane dog and sends him to kennel for like $287 per day. 

I get home. Walk in door. Non-stop chirping. Ask MIL why she didn't change battery to stop the chirping--she says "what chirping?"  I jump on table and tear shit up. Retrieve dog from prison. Deaf-ass old person made dog go insane. 

My dog would react the same to the chirping but he's 14 now and deaf as can be

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On 11/2/2023 at 8:53 AM, Dennis Taylor said:

So Monday morning I'm on a conference call, and I thought I might have heard one chirp a couple times.  Call ends,don't hear it anymore so I forgot about it and went about my day. 

3:18 in the motherfucking AM today, dead asleep...'chirp'...then nothing.  Doze back off to sleep...3:29...'chirp' . Wife stirs a little bit...I get up and stand under the one I think it is...nothing...go take a piss, come back to it...silence. Wait another 3 or 4 minutes and get back in bed. Laying there ... Waiting for another chirp. Nothing....doze off again...4:07 'chirp ' . Motherfucker. Stand by the one I think it is again...4:14 'chirp ' ...from upstairs! Motherfucker! Go to garage to get the ladder, grab the package of 9v batteries. Wife- " Do you need some help?" Yeah right.  That'll go well..."No honey that's ok" . Go upstairs...Waiting...Waiting...4:26 'chirp'...Motherfucker! Which one was it? There's 3 within 15 feet of me.  4:32 'chirp '...Aha I got you you little bastard! Change battery, get back in bed...laying there ...laying there...laying th...doze off...2 minutes later- Alarm

Fuck you chirping smoke detector

Change the batteries every year.  NYD ain't just for mimosas...

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On 11/2/2023 at 9:43 AM, HouTex said:

I got tired of trying to find the chirping smoke detector (at 3:00 am) among the 8 or so detectors in my various homes over the years so my Thanksgiving weekend ritual is to replace the batteries in all of them each year.  I haven’t had a chirping smoke detector in about 15 years.  

Mine are wired too, but they all have a backup 9v battery. 

I’m a cheapskate, so I wait until one starts chirping. That’s when I replace them all. Usually, it’s almost 3 years before that happens. We’ve been in our current house just over 10 years, and I’ve done it 3 times.

It goes back to when I needed a flickering fluorescent light replaced in my office. The maintenance guy changed out all of them because since they are all the same age, the others were on borrowed time.

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There was a 1 month period when the batteries started failing one by one on the 10+ smoke detectors.

Of course they never started during the day because that would be too easy. Standing under a fire alarm waiting to hear if it's the one beeping, not being sure, then standing  under another one to hear if that one is chirping... sucks ass when it's 3AM.

 

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On 11/4/2023 at 3:52 PM, GringoSalado said:

For high ceilings I've had good success in the past throwing my boot at them and knocking them apart. You can break some other appliances unintentionally so understand what's behind your target, but it feels good cracking one open with a steel-toed Red Wing. Fuck OU

Avatar checks out.

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I lived overseas for a while in a new-build complex that was really nice but had a few quirks. We had an island range with a built in ventilator hood and some dipshit had installed the fire alarm right next to the hood. This wasn’t some restaurant contraption that got everything, so that fire alarm would go off over ANYTHING. If you boiled water the steam would set it off. 
 

Ended up taking it out of the ceiling for while I lived there, the building owner insisted that it couldn’t be moved because he wanted it to detect kitchen fires. 

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On 11/2/2023 at 1:33 PM, NorthLoop said:

Mine don't chirp but will sometimes randomly go off for a few seconds for no reason. Google says this happens sometimes when the temperature drops like when a cold front comes through. Always fucking happens at 3am though, never during the day. 

This shit happened to us last week. Must have set them all of because kid came in like ‘wtf just happened?’

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10 hours ago, George said:

This shit happened to us last week. Must have set them all of because kid came in like ‘wtf just happened?’

That's the worst. I've gotten to where I know it's bullshit when it happens (though I still get up and do a quick check for smoke because of course you have to) .. but when it wakes up the kids that's when I get real ragey. 

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4 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

That's the worst. I've gotten to where I know it's bullshit when it happens (though I still get up and do a quick check for smoke because of course you have to) .. but when it wakes up the kids that's when I get real ragey. 

It used to absolutely petrify our dog but he's 14 now and deaf as shit so it doesn't bother him anymore 

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