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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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6 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

Called lady friend to go to beach for full moon tonight.

Me: Do you want me to bring a chair for you?

Her: No thanks, I'll sit on sand.

Upon arrival, I pull out my chair.

Her: Oh, you have a chair, you should of said something.

Me: I did.

Her: You should have told me you were going to have one.

Me: Do you want to move by the lifeguard stand and sit on the steps?

Her: No, I'll be fine.

So you thought you’d bring a chair while she sat on the sand next to you? Seems like a weird move for a romantic trip to the beach. I think your options were to sit with her in the sand or two chairs. 

Edited by Pig Bellmont
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6 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

Called lady friend to go to beach for full moon tonight.

Me: Do you want me to bring a chair for you?

Her: No thanks, I'll sit on sand.

Upon arrival, I pull out my chair.

Her: Oh, you have a chair, you should of said something.

Me: I did.

Her: You should have told me you were going to have one.

Me: Do you want to move by the lifeguard stand and sit on the steps?

Her: No, I'll be fine.

She’s used to me bringing the blanket

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22 minutes ago, Saint Austin said:

100% this.

My first thought was he thought he'd need the chair for when she gets on her knees for the "romantic full moon on the beach hummer" because he didn't want to stand or lay in the sand for it.

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Yea being a bitch is tough.

I do everything. Mop, toilets, laundry, bake, house repairs, car repairs, trash. Wash kids, change diapers, braid hair, cook, clean, dishes. I don’t give a shit what chore it is. I just do it.

During Texas football, everyone can watch with me or fuck off.
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1 hour ago, Pig Bellmont said:

So you thought you’d bring a chair while she sat on the sand next to you? Seems like a weird move for a romantic trip to the beach. I think your options were to sit with her in the sand or two chairs. 

Or bring an inflatable mattress.

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8 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

Called lady friend to go to beach for full moon tonight.

Me: Do you want me to bring a chair for you?

Her: No thanks, I'll sit on sand.

Upon arrival, I pull out my chair.

Her: Oh, you have a chair, you should of said something.

Me: I did.

Her: You should have told me you were going to have one.

Me: Do you want to move by the lifeguard stand and sit on the steps?

Her: No, I'll be fine.

Something, something sandy vagina something.

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Wife calling me at work.....................

Mrs. Hoffa- Do you think I should buy the boys medium swimming suits? 

Me- I think that would be fine, isn't that what they wear now?

Mrs- Yes

Me- Perfect, I will talk to....

Mrs.- I should probably get them a new set of goggles too, I need to double check what else is on the list, do you remember if we need...........

 

FUCK MY LIFE I AM SHOPPING WITH MY WIFE AND I AM NOT EVEN AT THE FUCKING STORE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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1 minute ago, JimmyHoffa said:

Wife calling me at work.....................

Mrs. Hoffa- Do you think I should buy the boys medium swimming suits? 

Me- I think that would be fine, isn't that what they wear now?

Mrs- Yes

Me- Perfect, I will talk to....

Mrs.- I should probably get them a new set of goggles too, I need to double check what else is on the list, do you remember if we need...........

 

FUCK MY LIFE I AM SHOPPING WITH MY WIFE AND I AM NOT EVEN AT THE FUCKING STORE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should drop a: "Since we're out, let's stop and pick up some liquor after we finish with the swimming stuff."

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Wife calling me at work.....................

Mrs. Hoffa- Do you think I should buy the boys medium swimming suits? 

Me- I think that would be fine, isn't that what they wear now?

Mrs- Yes

Me- Perfect, I will talk to....

Mrs.- I should probably get them a new set of goggles too, I need to double check what else is on the list, do you remember if we need...........

 

FUCK MY LIFE I AM SHOPPING WITH MY WIFE AND I AM NOT EVEN AT THE FUCKING STORE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop talking to my wife you asshole!

 

 

I'm so numb to my wife starting a sentence with "I need"

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2 hours ago, Nivek said:


I do everything. Mop, toilets, laundry, bake, house repairs, car repairs, trash. Wash kids, change diapers, braid hair, cook, clean, dishes. I don’t give a shit what chore it is. I just do it.

During Texas football, everyone can watch with me or fuck off.

So...what does she do? You do all the household chores and take care of the kids, and you’re married, so we know it’s not sex you’re receiving in return. What’s the upside here?

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So...what does she do? You do all the household chores and take care of the kids, and you’re married, so we know it’s not sex you’re receiving in return. What’s the upside here?

Money. The upside is that my house isn’t filthy from 3 kids. Even if there is marker art on a wall.
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8 minutes ago, General Specific said:


With a list like that, why spring for the lube? Seems like over kill here.

The Lube is in case he wants to stuff her in a barrel and it is a tight fit.  She might be a Vic special.

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4 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Stop talking to my wife you asshole!

 

 

I'm so numb to my wife starting a sentence with "I need"

When it comes to phone calls, my wife starts every sentence with "Um". I've gotten numb to it over the years.

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Called lady friend to go to beach for full moon tonight.
Me: Do you want me to bring a chair for you?
Her: No thanks, I'll sit on sand.
Upon arrival, I pull out my chair.
Her: Oh, you have a chair, you should of said something.
Me: I did.
Her: You should have told me you were going to have one.
Me: Do you want to move by the lifeguard stand and sit on the steps?
Her: No, I'll be fine.

Rookie. You should have brought at least 3 extra chairs in case she didn’t like the first two extra ones that she didn’t want in the first place.
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On 7/17/2019 at 10:46 AM, Nivek said:

I do everything. Mop, toilets, laundry, bake, house repairs, car repairs, trash. Wash kids, change diapers, braid hair, cook, clean, dishes. I don’t give a shit what chore it is. I just do it.

During Texas football, everyone can watch with me or fuck off.

 

On 7/17/2019 at 12:54 PM, Frank The Tank said:

So...what does she do? You do all the household chores and take care of the kids, and you’re married, so we know it’s not sex you’re receiving in return. What’s the upside here?

 

D-m-k9-NW4-AA21n-K-format-jpg-name-mediu

 

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