Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

Recommended Posts

On 7/31/2019 at 1:49 PM, DCA_HORN said:

What was the generic beer they sold at heb for like $4 a 12 pack? Sportz?

the worst thing i've ever drank.  tasted like an ash tray.  opened that one fresh, not like someone had put out their cigarette in it.

Edited by elfenix
Link to comment
Share on other sites

the worst thing i've ever drank.  tasted like an ash tray.  opened that one fresh, not like someone had put out their cigarette in it.


We bought it one day. 12 pack. $3.89. The liquid was separated from the hops. You could almost chew it. So, so bad and we were day drunk at a pool.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Modessit said:

A friend who is notoriously cheap showed up at my house one 4th of July with some beer cake called Flats or something he got at Walgreens or CVS or something for like $2 per six pack.

 

 

Big Flats.   It was at Walgreen’s for $2.99 (and yes I tried it because why the hell not).  Not good, but I’ve had worse.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 hours ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

Always always double check the cooler. That’s on the husband 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

a longhorn and an aggy are on the same train into town. 

"what's that thing you're drinking out of?" asks the aggy. 

"a thermos," replies the horn, "it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." 

next day the aggy proudly shows the horn his new thermos.

"what have you got in there?" asks the horn.

the aggy replies, "a coffee and a milkshake."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wife goes down to SA to catch up with one of her friends for a few day and do a little resort spa thing.

I get a call this morning.

W: Um, just wanted to let you know that I got rear ended yesterday on one of those weird exit ramps with the yield signs.

A: That sucks, those ramps exiting onto a two way access road are stupid.  Everything OK?  Why did you wait till now to tell me?

W: Doesn't look bad, minor damage to the bumper. I'm getting ready to go into the spa, and I didn't want you to stress me out about it when I told you later after I was de-stressed.

A: LOL, whatever.  Did you get a police report?

W: No.

A: OK, picture of their insurance card?

W: Yes.

A: Picture of their drivers license?

W: No, but I got their name and telephone number?

A: OK. Picture of the license plate?

W: Yes.

A: Picture of the damage?

W: Yes.

A: Picture of the accident scene?

W: No. That would have probably been a good idea.

A: Yeah no shit. You should have gotten a pic of the license, and the accident scene, at a minimum. You should have already called in the claim, but send me all the info and I will deal with it.

W: Well thanks for asking if I was alright. I am fine dear. 

 

So I get the photo of the insurance information.  Expiration date: 05/05/2019. 

 

Edited by Anastasis
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Is it actually expired, or did they just offer up an old page?

Not sure.  When I called in the claim, they would not confirm the coverage.  Said they would only do it for the policy holder.  Will have to wait for the adjuster.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've owned 4 cell phones over the last 20 years, all of them still operational and in good condition when they were shut off.  My wife goes through one or more cell phones a year, usually breaking them or some feature magically fails on the device like the mic stops working.  Last night she decided to lose her phone while shopping in Wal-Mart late at night for school supplies.  She comes home defeated after spending about half an hour walking around with a manager while she's calling my wife's number trying to find it. 

She wants to take my phone back to the store to try and continue the search, to which I say "Hell no" because I need my phone for work and can't have her losing or destroying mine too (Wised up and started getting protective cases for her phones, but I don't use one).  I decide to go back and search the Back to School aisles myself.  It's midnight, and I've got mud and drywall dust on me as I was patching holes in the walls before bed, but fuck it...gonna find that phone if it hasn't been stolen.  I spend close to an hour in the store between asking employees if they've seen the phone and searching aisles.  Makes it really tough to hear a ringer because the floor waxer is in operation for quite awhile.  I eventually give up because I need the sleep, so I offer the manager a $50 reward if anyone finds it because at this point I'm probably just going to buy a $100 used phone for her on Ebay.  She's only had this phone for 3 months and I'm not buying her a new one.  I finally get to sleep about 2am when all is said and done.

Fast forward 4 hours later and I get a call from the manager, they found the phone on a folding table in women's clothes.  "Oh yeah, I was looking at tank tops after I looked at the school supplies," my wife says.  She offers to drive down and get the phone, but I decide to be nice and do it myself.  Get back to the store and pickup the phone, manager refuses to take the $50 reward after several attempts because of company policy.  I promise to leave a good word for her GM in the morning.  I get back home and get another hour of sleep before I have to be up for work.  Wife wakes up later to take care of the kids, not even a fucking thank you for going to get her phone.

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

find my phone app?

Yeah, I installed it as soon as I got home.  Google's "Find My Device."  Losing it usually isn't an issue for her, it's usually breaking it.  Guess she felt like changing it up.

Edited by ulukinatme
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our country property has a barn with attached living space. Mrs CL uses it as a remote office about 1-2 days a week. The previous owner and his wife lived there. We don't. We lease the pasture out and have an ag exemption on the property taxes. 

A couple of months ago Mrs CL offhandedly mentioned that someone from the appraisal district had stopped by and asked to look around and take some pictures. I got pretty upset with her and said that was a bad idea to ever let them onto the property and I was promptly told to "Quit being so paranoid. We have nothing to hide."

Got this in the mail today:

 

spacer.png

 

They are (properly) reducing our ag exemption by 1 acre to account for the "existing homestead" that has been there for 17 years and isn't visible from the highway in front. My guess is that the former owner built it that way on purpose and never told them about it and never offered to let them inside. 

I'm thinking that it ultimately doesn't cost us a lot of money, but that is offset by the fact that it was completely avoidable. 

 

 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The other day I brought the trash cans in from the curb but left them in front of the gate (as I was preparing to leave with the littles in the car). I forgot when I came home to move them inside the gate.

This morning I take the trash out and notice a trash bag on top of the trash can.

And she says I am passive aggressive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

I've owned 4 cell phones over the last 20 years, all of them still operational and in good condition when they were shut off.  My wife goes through one or more cell phones a year, usually breaking them or some feature magically fails on the device like the mic stops working.  Last night she decided to lose her phone while shopping in Wal-Mart late at night for school supplies.  She comes home defeated after spending about half an hour walking around with a manager while she's calling my wife's number trying to find it. 

She wants to take my phone back to the store to try and continue the search, to which I say "Hell no" because I need my phone for work and can't have her losing or destroying mine too (Wised up and started getting protective cases for her phones, but I don't use one).  I decide to go back and search the Back to School aisles myself.  It's midnight, and I've got mud and drywall dust on me as I was patching holes in the walls before bed, but fuck it...gonna find that phone if it hasn't been stolen.  I spend close to an hour in the store between asking employees if they've seen the phone and searching aisles.  Makes it really tough to hear a ringer because the floor waxer is in operation for quite awhile.  I eventually give up because I need the sleep, so I offer the manager a $50 reward if anyone finds it because at this point I'm probably just going to buy a $100 used phone for her on Ebay.  She's only had this phone for 3 months and I'm not buying her a new one.  I finally get to sleep about 2am when all is said and done.

Fast forward 4 hours later and I get a call from the manager, they found the phone on a folding table in women's clothes.  "Oh yeah, I was looking at tank tops after I looked at the school supplies," my wife says.  She offers to drive down and get the phone, but I decide to be nice and do it myself.  Get back to the store and pickup the phone, manager refuses to take the $50 reward after several attempts because of company policy.  I promise to leave a good word for her GM in the morning.  I get back home and get another hour of sleep before I have to be up for work.  Wife wakes up later to take care of the kids, not even a fucking thank you for going to get her phone.

 

she wanted a new phone you insensitive bastard. the playbook says she will probably counter with car problems next 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wife goes down to SA to catch up with one of her friends for a few day and do a little resort spa thing.
I get a call this morning.
W: Um, just wanted to let you know that I got rear ended yesterday on one of those weird exit ramps with the yield signs.
A: That sucks, those ramps exiting onto a two way access road are stupid.  Everything OK?  Why did you wait till now to tell me?
W: Doesn't look bad, minor damage to the bumper. I'm getting ready to go into the spa, and I didn't want you to stress me out about it when I told you later after I was de-stressed.
A: LOL, whatever.  Did you get a police report?
W: No.
A: OK, picture of their insurance card?
W: Yes.
A: Picture of their drivers license?
W: No, but I got their name and telephone number?
A: OK. Picture of the license plate?
W: Yes.
A: Picture of the damage?
W: Yes.
A: Picture of the accident scene?
W: No. That would have probably been a good idea.
A: Yeah no shit. You should have gotten a pic of the license, and the accident scene, at a minimum. You should have already called in the claim, but send me all the info and I will deal with it.
W: Well thanks for asking if I was alright. I am fine dear. 
 
So I get the photo of the insurance information.  Expiration date: 05/05/2019. 
 

I didn’t get past the part where your wife decided to go down on one of her friends in SA
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The other day I brought the trash cans in from the curb but left them in front of the gate (as I was preparing to leave with the littles in the car). I forgot when I came home to move them inside the gate.

This morning I take the trash out and notice a trash bag on top of the trash can.

And she says I am passive aggressive.


Consider yourself lucky it made it all the way to the trashcan outside. She could have just left it by the door or even worse, just continued to play trash Jenga with the can in the kitchen.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our country property has a barn with attached living space. Mrs CL uses it as a remote office about 1-2 days a week. The previous owner and his wife lived there. We don't. We lease the pasture out and have an ag exemption on the property taxes. 
A couple of months ago Mrs CL offhandedly mentioned that someone from the appraisal district had stopped by and asked to look around and take some pictures. I got pretty upset with her and said that was a bad idea to ever let them onto the property and I was promptly told to "Quit being so paranoid. We have nothing to hide."
Got this in the mail today:
 
Rollback.jpg
 
They are (properly) reducing our ag exemption by 1 acre to account for the "existing homestead" that has been there for 17 years and isn't visible from the highway in front. My guess is that the former owner built it that way on purpose and never told them about it and never offered to let them inside. 
I'm thinking that it ultimately doesn't cost us a lot of money, but that is offset by the fact that it was completely avoidable. 
 
 


Next letter will be for back taxes for 5 years to catch up what you should have owed.
  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Consider yourself lucky it made it all the way to the trashcan outside. She could have just left it by the door or even worse, just continued to play trash Jenga with the can in the kitchen.

I hate trash Jenga with a passion. Sometimes I play it but at the end of the day, I work from home and get tired of looking at it.

 

Sometimes is makes it to the can if she takes it out, most of the time it’s in the garage, in the corner, 2 feet from where the can is outside. Yes, we have a garage door opener (humblebrag)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, davidg said:

 


Consider yourself lucky it made it all the way to the trashcan outside. She could have just left it by the door or even worse, just continued to play trash Jenga with the can in the kitchen.

 

My wife will play Jenga for a bit, then pull the trash bag out of the can and leave it by the can tied up.  She then doesn't replace the bag, which prompts the kids to start throwing trash directly into the can.  Drives me fuckin' crazy.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ulukinatme said:

My wife will play Jenga for a bit, then pull the trash bag out of the can and leave it by the can tied up.  She then doesn't replace the bag, which prompts the kids to start throwing trash directly into the can.  Drives me fuckin' crazy.

There’s a lot to unravel here. Age of kids? How often do you take the trash out? Pics of wife? Maybe you should take the trash out more often. Maybe she’s hot.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it 5?  I thought it was 2 or 3?  But yeah, this is going to get worse.


If it’s just ag rollback, as in the cad just lazily calls it ‘change of use’, I believe the legislature knocked it down do 3 years now and cut the interest some. With the land ‘never’ being in ag at all, I’m not sure if they have a different remedy. My guess is they’ll just go standard rollback and hit it with difference in taxes owed plus interest.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, davidg said:

 


Next letter will be for back taxes for 5 years to catch up what you should have owed.

 

Yes. Forgot to mention the 5 year rollback. That was there. 

This letter showed the 5 year value rollback from the appraisal district. We will hear separately from the two taxing entities what the actual taxes are. 

I'm not a real estate expert or lawyer but I think we could get some of that from the previous owner depending on the wording in the contract. 

Explained to my wife last night that it's not "paranoid" if you know there are only two outcomes and one of those results in costing you more money and neither involves you owing less money. They're never going to ask to look around so they can try and reduce our bill, so why ever let them look around? 

As usual, tone. 

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

47 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Yes. Forgot to mention the 5 year rollback. That was there. 

This letter showed the 5 year value rollback from the appraisal district. We will hear separately from the two taxing entities what the actual taxes are. 

I'm not a real estate expert or lawyer but I think we could get some of that from the previous owner depending on the wording in the contract. 

Explained to my wife last night that it's not "paranoid" if you know there are only two outcomes and one of those results in costing you more money and neither involves you owing less money. They're never going to ask to look around so they can try and reduce our bill, so why ever let them look around? 

As usual, tone. 

narrator-He's fucked

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

My wife will play Jenga for a bit, then pull the trash bag out of the can and leave it by the can tied up.  She then doesn't replace the bag, which prompts the kids to start throwing trash directly into the can.  Drives me fuckin' crazy.

You're married to my wife?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Yes. Forgot to mention the 5 year rollback. That was there. 

This letter showed the 5 year value rollback from the appraisal district. We will hear separately from the two taxing entities what the actual taxes are. 

I'm not a real estate expert or lawyer but I think we could get some of that from the previous owner depending on the wording in the contract. 

Explained to my wife last night that it's not "paranoid" if you know there are only two outcomes and one of those results in costing you more money and neither involves you owing less money. They're never going to ask to look around so they can try and reduce our bill, so why ever let them look around? 

As usual, tone. 

I probably  missed it, but where are you?  In the standard TREC contract, rollback taxes are the responsibility of whomever changes the use of the land.  Even though the previous owners changed the use, it wasn't caught until you owned the property and it sounds like you bought a while back.  It'd be hard to go back on sellers from years ago.  Sounds like it could require lawyers and not sure it would be worth it in the end.

Edited by Catpfish
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not sure.  When I called in the claim, they would not confirm the coverage.  Said they would only do it for the policy holder.  Will have to wait for the adjuster.  

Found myself in a similar situation a couple years ago and it was pretty easy to trick the insurance dude into giving me all the information on the policy by just claiming to be the insured and providing some basic info which it sounds like you already have. I mean...if you’re not smarter than the first level person who takes the call at the insurance company, you’ve got bigger problems.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...