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That ain't Shelley, Urban...


SarkAfterDark

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3 minutes ago, Blotto said:

When am I gonna make it back to Haiti Ohio again?

Urban, "Well he's an ex-freebase addict and he's trying to play Tight End.  And he need a place to stay for a couple months."  

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21 hours ago, South Austin said:

I’ll admit, this is a pretty gotdam brilliant move by Urban. 

Fingerbang some ho in a Ohio bar on during your bye week and get blasted on the internet. Jags fire you, batshit crazy wife divorces you, and land the USC job.  

I applaud you, Coach Meyer.

It's not even their bye week,  they just played on Thursday instead of Sunday...you ain't seen nothing yet!

14 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Oh, Nicole.

Great song

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"Will this effect my teaching career" /meyer

I just found out this morning he taught a course at Ohio State entitled "Leadership & Character" at their business school of all places.  

With all the shit he's pulled, that's an awfully odd choice for a course name.

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2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

"Will this effect my teaching career" /meyer

I just found out this morning he taught a course at Ohio State entitled "Leadership & Character" at their business school of all places.  

With all the shit he's pulled, that's an awfully odd choice for a course name.


 

E88E0D8D-0C5C-455C-9003-C557C143EB0C.jpeg

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2 hours ago, Landomatic said:

 

 

 

Where are ya'll getting this finger banging stuff? Is there a different video that got deleted? The one I saw just shows him sitting on a barstool while some young chick dances in front of him and tries to grind on him a little.

The original video certainly seemed to be longer, because I definitely got more of a sense of interaction if you will, so I do think the salvaged version is shorter and potentially less incriminating. But I wouldn’t swear to it in a courtroom.

To me, it definitely looked like a guy fingering a girl from behind as she was allowing it, others saw the same thing, while someone else (was it Texifornia?) saw a guy who was placing his hand in between his crotch and her ass as she ground into it, and I’m certain that’s Urb’s defense to Shelley. 

(I just saw a news story from Jacksonville saying a “7 second video,” and the one that still exists is only 5, so maybe it was longer and those two seconds looked a little more digital…get it? 🙃)

Edited by Vito Andolini
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1 hour ago, Landomatic said:

 

 

 

Where are ya'll getting this finger banging stuff? Is there a different video that got deleted? The one I saw just shows him sitting on a barstool while some young chick dances in front of him and tries to grind on him a little.

 

22 hours ago, Blotto said:

lulz nothing like that can get deleted from the internet.

 

@Landomatic what do you think Urban is doing with his hand here?

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8 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

The original video certainly seemed to be longer, because I definitely got more of a sense of interaction if you will, so I do think the salvaged version is shorter and potentially less incriminating. But I wouldn’t swear to it in a courtroom.

To me, it definitely looked like a guy fingering a girl from behind as she was allowing it, others saw the same thing, while someone else (was it Texifornia?) saw a guy who was placing his hand in between his crotch and her ass as she ground into it, and I’m certain that’s Urb’s defense to Shelley. 

 

5 minutes ago, SarkAfterDark said:

 

@Landomatic what do you think Urban is doing with his hand here?

Well, maybe we need to define "fingering" or "finger banging," but given that chick is wearing  jeans and they are pulled up and cinched with a belt, by my definition, he is definitely not "fingering" or "banging" anything. Rubbing her hooha through her jeans at most?

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I love that we're having the exact same conversation about a grown man who is famous that I had with my friends in 8th grade. 

"Dude, he totally fingerbanged that hot blonde from Geography class at the party last night."  

"No way man, her pants were cinched up the whole time."

"You don't know what you're talking about man, he was two knuckles deep.  I seent it!"  

"You're crazy.  I fingered this girl last summer at Niagara Falls.  You have to at least unbutton her pants to get your hand down there."  

"Whatever man.  I guess the only way to really find out is to smell his finger.  Go ask him."  

 

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2 hours ago, Landomatic said:

 

 

 

Where are ya'll getting this finger banging stuff? Is there a different video that got deleted? The one I saw just shows him sitting on a barstool while some young chick dances in front of him and tries to grind on him a little.

 

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Being married to a Q-anon conspiracy theorist believer has it's advantages.  This is all Urban needs to say-

"Shelly, you know I didnt want to be vaxxed but the damn NFL made me and now my crotch is magnetic and you see that big belt with metallic parts that girl was wearing!  I was trying to get off her of me and she was trying to wiggly free but that damn vax man....that damn vax!
 

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3 minutes ago, Horn Dog said:

 

"Shelly, you know I didnt want to be vaxxed but the damn NFL made me and now my crotch is magnetic and you see that big belt with metallic parts that girl was wearing!  I was trying to get off her of me and she was trying to wiggly free but that damn vax man....that damn vax!
 

The plan is so crazy, it just might work.  Of course, it doesn't help that her nickname in college was 5G...as in "all 5 finGers"

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Looks down the entire time, hands in pockets, swaying back and forth.  Entirely and completely full of shit.  

No wonder so many people in this country admire him.  

His secret lifestyle......he wouldn't have lasted two weeks in Austin.  We have way more distractions from the grandkids than Columbus does.

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Looks down the entire time, hands in pockets, swaying back and forth.  Entirely and completely full of shit.  
No wonder so many people in this country admire him.  
His secret lifestyle......he wouldn't have lasted two weeks in Austin.  We have way more distractions from the grandkids than Columbus does.

The news about Herman plowing Kendra Scott stayed pretty much under wraps until it was time to send him on his way.
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"he said he should have left and not allowed the young woman to dance closely in front of him..."

 

Yeah, she was really forcing herself on the poor, helpless, unsuspecting coach.  🤣  No mention of his hands checking her undercarriage.

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17 minutes ago, Scholz said:

"he said he should have left and not allowed the young woman to dance closely in front of him..."

 

Yeah, she was really forcing herself on the poor, helpless, unsuspecting coach.  🤣  No mention of his hands checking her undercarriage.

just a quick plunging of the dip stick in there to make sure motor's all lubricated

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2 hours ago, Lobo said:

I love that we're having the exact same conversation about a grown man who is famous that I had with my friends in 8th grade. 

"Dude, he totally fingerbanged that hot blonde from Geography class at the party last night."  

"No way man, her pants were cinched up the whole time."

"You don't know what you're talking about man, he was two knuckles deep.  I seent it!"  

"You're crazy.  I fingered this girl last summer at Niagara Falls.  You have to at least unbutton her pants to get your hand down there."  

"Whatever man.  I guess the only way to really find out is to smell his finger.  Go ask him."  

 

Dad?

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After seeing this I’m really shocked he didn’t handle that Zack Smith situation better.  Let’s not be so quick to judge who of us can say with a straight face the we haven’t hung out with the grandkids and then immediately go grind on some couch burning strange.  We’ve all been there. 

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Also the whole Shelley being an anti-vaxxer is an unnecessary rabbit hole to explore.

You don’t need to really get into political positions when that looney ass bitch publicly X’s out the M in her last name because oh that’s associated with Michigan (she went to Cincinnati) rather than realizing that last name is the only thing that makes 99% of the people who give a fuck about you do so.

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This guy was to do what Jimmy Johnson did, go from championships in college to championships in the NFL. Difference is Jimmy spent his time fucking over the rest of the league on his way to two SBs, Urbs is in fucking Dublin Ohio. Jackass. 

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