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the 2023 speaker of the house voting thread of implosion

henrygandorf

By henrygandorf
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jim got all dressed up for his big day...

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19447

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It's like Hall's head is doing some kinda method-acting Walken thing from the same era.  I'm enchanted.

also, incredibly disappointed in this forum.  Nobody has taken Kent from "Real Genius" literally at his computer... and put Mike Johnson's face on him.  "You need to stop playing with yourself, Mike."  With Johnson in amazement, replying, "It is you, God."  

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45439

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14 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

It's like Hall's head is doing some kinda method-acting Walken thing from the same era.  I'm enchanted.

also, incredibly disappointed in this forum.  Nobody has taken Kent from "Real Genius" literally at his computer... and put Mike Johnson's face on him.  "You need to stop playing with yourself, Mike."  With Johnson in amazement, replying, "It is you, God."  

Jesus?!?

He hung up. 

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YGIFS 19447

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Yeah, Mitch calls himself Jesus at first.  But then kent replies by calling him "God."  

Also, two things nobody is bothering to think about.  Why the fuck does my dumbass have to be the critical thinker in our government?

-Does Mike Johnson not have a bank account because he's worried he'll be tempted to subscribe to online porn with his debit card?  And/or is he worried he'd use the account to withdraw cash to use to buy porn with no digital trace at the roadside adult movie store?

-With his son being a minor, and Mike not having a bank account...who the fuck pays the monthly subscription to this porn-monitoring software service?  Last I checked, you gotta enter some kinda financial information to even the most holier-than-thou websites for services like this?  

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YGIFS

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and how the fuck do you 'adopt' a 14 year old black kid in Louisiana without a bank account?  

I just grazed the process years ago when we were having trouble, and the amount of shit they wanted to know about us was pretty fucking serious.  Way beyond just "where do you bank?"  

Do you need like a private banking relationship to get a healthy white infant, but with no credit or bank account info, Baton Rouge agencies are like, 'Best we can do is this 14 year old with a juvenile rap-sheet...but you can give him a really generic caucasian name if you'd like.  Just sign here and initial here..." 

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46 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

-With his son being a minor, and Mike not having a bank account...who the fuck pays the monthly subscription to this porn-monitoring software service?  Last I checked, you gotta enter some kinda financial information to even the most holier-than-thou websites for services like this?  

Hint: The data that the porn monitoring app sees, and pushes through the monitoring service's servers, is the fee.

If you were a Russian or Chinese spy agency, it would be a fucking genius scheme to dream up something like this and let it loose in the US.

23 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

and how the fuck do you 'adopt' a 14 year old black kid in Louisiana without a bank account?  

He didn't adopt him. I don't know what it's called, but it's not adoption.

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MrBig

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6 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

I can’t believe you don’t recognize a young Hall. Or is it Oates? I feel like it’s Hall. 

I always remember Chris Kattan in this skit saying “I’m Oates.” That’s how I tell them apart.

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YGIFS 19447

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57 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

Then a member of the greatest 2nd greatest pop duo of 80's then back to being the manager of the Texas Rangers in the 90s. 

 

No, you're thinking of George Michael who between #1 hits on MTV, didn't manage the Rangers but frequently commented on them via his 1980/90's Sports Machine.

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Yeah dude, I got the joke.  I was trying to roll with the 80s duo/sports figure theme of the thread derail.  I have a lot of flaws as a poster, but deep knowledge of 80s music and 80s baseball ain't one of 'em.  Plus everybody knows Johnny Oates went on to found the folk duo, Garfunkel & Oates after a sex change.  

But seriously...what in the fuck with the story about the Speaker's banking and adoption practices?  Or lack thereof?  This guy obviously didn't have enough time to scrub his entire past before ascending to the 3rd highest office in the land.  There's got to be some pretty big crumbs out there to glean.  I know he didn't do thorough job because as any man on here knows, the first thing to "get rid of" before you worry about finances and legality of the children in your home...is erasing the time you said on TV that you and your son were engaged in some sort of accountability prayer circle jerk prevention metadata effort.  

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13 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

This guy obviously didn't have enough time to scrub his entire past before ascending to the 3rd highest office in the land. 

13 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I know he didn't do thorough job because as any man on here knows, the first thing to "get rid of" before you worry about finances and legality of the children in your home...is erasing the time you said on TV that you and your son were engaged in some sort of accountability prayer circle jerk prevention metadata effort.  

Or maybe he's proud of that stuff - these were interviews that he knew would wind up in the public consciousness - hell the porn intake thing was from last year. He wanted his target audience to know this stuff, he doesn't feel the need to hide it.

Now the rest of us find it creepy as fuck/hilarious, and/or we realize that he has compromised government communications by running this software on all of his devices, but his target audience is thinking "hey, he monitors his son's porn intake, and his son is monitoring his porn intake, and they are trying to keep each other honest and I like that!"

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

Robert Pollard threw a no-hotter pitching for Wright State U.

Well the voices that guided Mike Johnson are pretty fucked up.  Plus the Speaker seems like the kinda guy who couldn't make the baseball team, so they paid extra to have him on some kinda private team so he could just kinda hang around the locker room in his jock strap in between taking multiple cold showers.  NTTAWWT

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Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

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35 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Well the voices that guided Mike Johnson are pretty fucked up.  Plus the Speaker seems like the kinda guy who couldn't make the baseball team, so they paid extra to have him on some kinda private team so he could just kinda hang around the locker room in his jock strap in between taking multiple cold showers.  NTTAWWT

Nice segue. 

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Robert Pollard really has had a remarkable songwriting career while not having overwhelming personal fame.  I'd like to think in some alternate universe, he and Dock Ellis are partying and jamming together.  They both drop acid, throw no hitters, and go their separate ways---Robert to music and Dock to more baseball and fighting for sickle anemia research.  

I literally sit and wonder if our children or grandchildren will retain the goofy shit about 2020's GOP politics the way we retain trivial knowledge about 1980s baseball and music.  Like they'll just laugh it off on chat boards decades from now, "And then this guy from Louisiana...turns out he literally bought a black kid for his son to hang out with in between porn reporting sessions.  He's Speaker of the House when Eric Trump leads a battalion of Oath Keepers back to the Capitol in 2025 and they accidentally kill him while looking for this guy who used to coach Auburn baseball or football or something because he pissed  off the military that day.  Anyways, so Donald apparently played baseball at Penn although nobody has any record of it, but legend has it he dropped acid and saw himself as President one day, anointed by God himself. It was fucking wild.  Anyway, back to compulsory prayer sessions."

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TexPx

TexPx 2309

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Hall is the tall blonde lead singer. Oates is the short guitar player with dark curly hair who sings backup. That’s how I tell them apart. 

I remember Hall as the one who introduced the “Flute of the Commodores” at the Word Music Jam.

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5 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Would I be reflecting on this glorious memory if I was?

Whatever glorious memory you have about what I can only imagine was a beautifully crisp Autumn Day in Midtown East.  The breeze was coming in from the south off Lower/Jamaica Bay.  The sunlight peering through the buildings of LIC.  And there he was, that kinda flowing afro mullet thing he was rocking back then, with the sweet 'stache to boot.  And he did that little head twisty bob thing he did in the videos just as a few leaves rustled by his feet.  Sure you almost got hit by a cab in your sense of awe.  But you'll remember it for the rest of your days.  

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23 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Whatever glorious memory you have about what I can only imagine was a beautifully crisp Autumn Day in Midtown East.  The breeze was coming in from the south off Lower/Jamaica Bay.  The sunlight peering through the buildings of LIC.  And there he was, that kinda flowing afro mullet thing he was rocking back then, with the sweet 'stache to boot.  And he did that little head twisty bob thing he did in the videos just as a few leaves rustled by his feet.  Sure you almost got hit by a cab in your sense of awe.  But you'll remember it for the rest of your days.  

Ok... here's the letdown.  The stache was gone but that mane was still there and flowing. I may be out of touch but my private eyes told me he was with a rich girl who was more of a maneater.  That right there was my adult education in the . method of modern love. 

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