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Kurt is a dumbfuck

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AUSTIN — While I got ya, here are nine things and one crazy prediction:

1. Who wants to be a millionaire?

With the addition of 10 football players out of the transfer portal and probably one or two more on the way, the budget for next season’s Texas roster has grown as well. It currently sits somewhere “between $35 million and $40 million,” which counts the likely revenue-sharing allotment expected to be $20.5 million as well as payouts through the Texas One Fund, a connected source tells the Houston Chronicle. This also figures to be a one-time exorbitant expense because athletic director Chris Del Conte and others have said the school plans to phase out its collective in favor of the revenue-sharing via the House settlement and with the move to name, image and likeness payouts through corporations. “It’s just unsustainable,” the source said of the high payouts. “The next season after this year, the whole world will be back to reality.”  The source declined to reveal how many Longhorn players will command at least a $1 million salary because such transparency foments comparative discussions and locker-room chaos. … Head coach Steve Sarkisian applauded quarterback Quinn Ewers for not taking money from the Texas One Fund although the Texas source said he got some but was paid the bulk of his money by corporations “so Texas could have more good players around him.” … Quarterback Arch Manning is “by far the highest-paid Texas player,” as expected, but doesn’t take a dime from the school. He and his family acquired all his deals on their own “with no help from the school.”

2. Pure dominance

I’m kind of running out of adjectives to describe this Texas baseball team, which has been one of the most clutch I can remember in a long time. It’s not close to being the best Longhorn team or the most gifted. In fact, of the 52 Longhorn seasons I’ve covered, it might not even rank in the top 20 in pure talent. But these Texas players are one of the grittiest teams I’ve ever seen and without question have the ultra-competitive gene few others have had. I’m not so sure outside the pitching, it might have only three major-league players on the squad — shortstop Jalin Flores, the versatile Adrian Rodriguez and outfielder Jonah Williams, who has only scratched the surface but might choose football for a pro career. But these Longhorns win like gangbusters, believe in themselves and seem to almost always come through with the clutch hit or play. … After sweeping Texas A&M with three one-run victories, Texas extended its record in such games to an impressive 12-3 record with all three losses in extra innings. In three games, the Longhorns were guilty of one error when Kimble Schuessler lost the ball in the high sky and the high pop-up fell in. Otherwise, they were perfect. … To think Jim Schlossnagle has a team running away in the SEC with a 19-2 record after taking the job June 26 defies logic. Just think what’s possible once he gets going in recruiting over time…. The Longhorns have 18 comeback wins, five of them after the sixth inning. … Schloss has one of the deepest bullpens I’ve ever seen in Austin, a dominant closer who’s left-handed (an added bonus), a terrific, versatile defense and a smart team. It just doesn’t have its best hitter or its ace, not that anyone could tell.

 

 

3. Get off Quinn’s case

Yes, Ewers had a precipitous fall in the NFL draft, plummeting to the seventh round before being taken by the Miami Dolphins. It was stunning, but not as outrageous as Shedeur Sanders dropping to the fifth round before being taken by the Cleveland Browns. Of course, the real shock was that Cleveland only took him and Dillon Gabriel and didn’t take a quarterback in all seven rounds. Personally, I think Ewers looks like a career backup because he doesn’t have the strongest arm and is too immobile. That should not tarnish his Texas legacy a bit. In fact, I applaud Ewers for sticking around three seasons and not running off to another school for a new bag of money. … I truly don’t get the criticism of Ewers. If anything, he should be revered for his selflessness as well as his legacy as a top-five quarterback in school history. “I think it’s ironic in that so many things are written and talked about the players from a negative standpoint that transfer schools or stay in school to take more money like it’s a negative,” Sarkisian said. “But all of a sudden here’s a guy that wanted to leave a legacy at Texas and then wanted to go play in the NFL, and now they’re knocking him for not taking the money in college. I don’t know which side of the fence everybody sits on on that, but in the end I think it just speaks to the character of him, of what he believed in and what he stood for. And nobody wanted to win a national championship much or more than Quinn on our team the last couple of years. He’s got a good opportunity in front of him. It’s time to make the most of it.” … It’s also time to put to bed all the criticism of Sarkisian for not starting Manning instead of Ewers. Ewers was the better quarterback. Now I do think Sark should have used Manning more often, especially against Georgia both times and against Ohio State like, say, close to the goal line. But starting Ewers was the right call.

 

4. SEC surge

Here’s the latest title countdown. The Longhorn men’s tennis just won the regular season and postseason SEC tournament, giving Texas six SEC championships and getting it closer to the league record. According to Herb Vincent of the SEC office and his research, Arkansas holds the modern-day mark with 10 SEC regular  or postseason titles in 2020-21. The Razorbacks also won eight championships in 2021-22, and Florida won eight twice in 2012-13 and 2009-10. It’s harder now, given the parity of the league and the addition of four Big 12 teams, but Texas has a shot at the record with seven more sports titles to be decided in the next two months, and the Longhorn baseball team is ranked No. 1 and the softball team No. 5. I’ve written how Texas has had nine sports that reached No. 1 in the nation this time, and Sarkisian referenced it during his remarks at the Houston Touchdown Club. Almost half of the school’s 21 sports ascended to the top for a time.

 
 

5. NFL Draft data

I think the Giants won the draft with linebacker Abdul Carter and sledgehammer Cam Skattebo, a refrigerator with legs, and so did the Cardinals with D-linemen Walter Nolen and Jordan Burch, long cornerbacks Will Johnson and Denzel Burke and Longhorn guard Hayden Conner, who gave up zero sacks in 617 pass snaps, according to Pro Football Focus.  … Loved Longhorn receiver Matthew Golden’s wild green suit at the NFL draft. Sartorial splendor. … Loved that Texas edge rusher Barryn Sorrell stuck around all three days for the draft in Green Bay, only to get selected in the third round by the hometown Packers. … I love how the NFL moves the draft around from one city to another. Should have it in Canton some year. … I don’t know who was more disappointed, Ewers or one of the animals on the wall of his man cave. … A player who will be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame is Penn State’s Carter. But I’m not surprised he asked Lawrence Taylor if he would wear the Giants’ retired No. 56 jersey or that LT said no. I’ll never forget interviewing Tommy Nobis three decades ago for the book “Long Live the Longhorns! 100 years of Texas Football” John Maher and I co-authored about whether Texas should take his No. 60 out of circulation. He told me, “If I’m an alumnus, I want to see No. 60 on the field tearing somebody’s ass up rather than see it behind a pane of glass. That would give me more thrills. I just don’t believe in that (retirement) stuff.” Darrell Royal, however, told me he wanted No. 60 to stay retired. Eight Longhorn players later wore it after Nobis ended his college career in 1965. I’d like to see it on the field, too, but only for players worthy of wearing that laundry. … I bet Shedeur Sanders has a nice NFL career but not in Cleveland. … Pro Football Focus’ 2026 mock NFL Draft has Manning going to the Browns with the No. 2 pick (a good omen since that could entice him to stay another year), linebacker Anthony Hill Jr. sixth to Carolina and cornerback Malik Muhammad 23rd to the Chargers.

 
 

6. Things I think I know

The Aggies will make the NCAA baseball tournament. The SEC is projected to get 13 bids, and A&M probably has to go 5-4 in its last nine league games. … I think the selection committee will do everything in its power to match up the Longhorns and Aggies in an opposite 1 vs. 16 potential super regional. … I think Draymond Green needs serious therapy. … I think Texas’ Dylan Volantis is the national Freshman of the Year and the SEC closer of the year. … I think Sarkisian had a very decent first pitch before Friday’s A&M baseball game although he told us Monday in Houston about his low pitch off the plate. “I was a little disappointed. It was more of a two-strike pitch. I had to paint the black. I was throwing harder in warmups. But Jonah was catching, and I didn’t want to make him jump out of his stance.”

7. OU got to be kidding

Oklahoma is in Texas’ head. Yes, we’re talking softball and the four-time defending national champions who just own the Longhorns and showed it once more by sweeping Mike White’s third-ranked team. Unbelievably, Patty Gasso’s bunch are 36-3 against Texas since 2015. “Obviously, giving up 23 runs in three games is tough to overcome, but I was pleased with how the team was able to fight back,” said the Texas coach, referring to a 9-8 loss in the finale when the Longhorns trailed 8-0. “They worked hard, but Oklahoma was too much this weekend. (The Sooners) swung the bats well and we ran into a hot team, and we've been a little bit cold over the last few weeks, to be truthful, but that gives us a lot of things to work on heading into next week. But Oklahoma deserved the series sweep. We just have to continue to work hard and get back right against Kentucky and then go to the SEC Tournament and play well there.”

 

8. Scattershooting

While wondering whatever happened to former Longhorn running back Chris Ogbonnaya, a seventh-round pick who played seven NFL seasons. Learned about Gary Keithley, the one-time Longhorn quarterback and punter on the Texas 1970 national champion. Friend Larry Carlson wrote a great story on the Texas Legacy Support Network of the all-state quarterback from Alvin who had one career completion at Texas playing behind James Street and Eddie Phillips before transferring to UTEP and getting drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals. He played in the CFL before coaching at Cleburne and will be inducted into the Texas High School Hall of Fame on May 10.

9. On the couch

Watching “Your Friends & Neighbors,” an entertaining series on Apple TV+ that chronicles the life of a hedge fund investor who loses his job and gets a divorce and turns to a life of crime. Jon Hamm kills it. Gave it 8 ducks.

 

Crazy prediction

Twelve Longhorns will be drafted next April to give Texas a nation-high 35 over three seasons.

 

Posted

I have despised Bowels ever since he voted for Reggie Bush over VY for the Heisman, in some misguided attempt to prove that we was smarter than everyone else and not a homer.  Retire already.

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Posted
36 minutes ago, immamac said:

That's some really really shitty reporting. Like legitimately almost everything is completely false in that article. 

And also, I think AI could have done a better job of sounding more realistic.  It's stunning how bad that reporting was.

Posted
1 hour ago, Fondren & Main said:

Personally, I think Ewers looks like a career backup because he doesn’t have the strongest arm and is too immobile. That should not tarnish his Texas legacy a bit. In fact, I applaud Ewers for sticking around three seasons and not running off to another school for a new bag of money. … I truly don’t get the criticism of Ewers.

I think the first sentence answers much of the last one. 

Posted
2 hours ago, chainsaw said:

what a hack, shamelessly ripping off Peter King's schtick

If you are talking about the style of the column, it's really more of a mix of Putt Powell from the Amarillo Globe-News and whatshisname from the Dallas Morning News (blanking on the name - he did the Scattershooting bit).

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Posted
1 minute ago, TrashMaster G said:

If you are talking about the style of the column, it's really more of a mix of Putt Powell from the Amarillo Globe-News and whatshisname from the Dallas Morning News (blanking on the name - he did the Scattershooting bit).

Blackie Sherrod

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