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Frozen Pizza - Because sometimes is just sounds good.

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1 hour ago, 6th Street said:

Frozen pizzas seem like a good idea at the grocery store but end up sitting in the freezer for months and months

If i do buy one, it rarely sits in the freezer longer than 2 days.  Always going to be one of those "fuck me, I'm tired" nights where you gotta go with the frozen 'za

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11 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

Anyone else cook Totinos in a microwave in college? If you thought it was bad in the oven then you have to try gooey mess it becomes in a microwave.

Are those the ones with the slightly reflective foil sheet that magically doesn't burn down the microwave (if you're lucky)?

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11 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Are those the ones with the slightly reflective foil sheet that magically doesn't burn down the microwave (if you're lucky)?

That would be better. I'm talknig about the basic Totino's that says apecifically that they aren't intended for the microwave.

Image result for totinos in a microwave

 

They end up looking like this

Image result for totinos in a microwave

 

and of course the crust is in no way crispy, but resembles a wet cracker. 

 

Edited by SimonBolivar

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Even at my most inebriated in college, I never felt the desire to cook a Totinos in the microwave.

I did, however, often throw them into the oven without preheating, and pull it once it was "warm enough."

 

 

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11 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

 

Image result for totinos in a microwave

 

and of course the crust is in no way crispy, but resembles a wet cracker. 

 

so, school pizza?  gross

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We always have a jar of sliced mushrooms, some chopped up onion and some fresh jalapeños in the fridge.  So I'll buy a Digorno 4 cheese pizza and package of pepperonis and top the pizza with all that.  The package of pepperonis will usually last through several pizzas and whatever other random stuff I want to add pepperonis to.  But that makes a damn good frozen pizza.  

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5 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

School rectangle pizza was much better and is purchasable by the way.

 

i didn't even want to do that when i was in middle school, why the fuck would i want to do that now that i have a palate?

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2 minutes ago, elfenix said:

i didn't even want to do that when i was in middle school, why the fuck would i want to do that now that i have a palate?

Maybe you hate your family?

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Just now, elfenix said:

i didn't even want to do that when i was in middle school, why the fuck would i want to do that now that i have a palate?

You don't have any nights of square pizza, clear spirits, and Family Matters on the TV in your repertoire? You gotta have those at least once a month man. The next night you'll be craving the salmon you should've had.

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49 minutes ago, utee94 said:

Even at my most inebriated in college, I never felt the desire to cook a Totinos in the microwave.

I did, however, often throw them into the oven and pass out only to be awakened by the smoke detector 2 hours later.

 

 

Fixed it for me

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8 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Fixed it for me

First thing I ever "cooked" was a Totino's pizza.  I was like, 9, and home alone.  Decided I was hungry.  Cranked the oven all the way up, tossed a Totino's in the oven.  Went outside to play for a coupla hours.  Came back in to a smoke-filled house and a burnt hockey puck in the oven.

My cooking improved after that.

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I'm reliving my hypermetabolistic youth through my 15 YO son.  The other night he had a late event at school and asked if we could stop by HEB on the way home to get a snack.
He selected the 31 oz Bagel Bites Pizza Snacks.  Fine.
We got home and I saw him pop "some" in the oven.  I didn't really think anything of it.  A while later I got a hankering for some Bagel Bites Pizza Snacks too, so I went to the freezer to grab a few.  No box.  I looked in the refrigerator, because he's a dumbass, no box.  I looked on the counter, no box. 
"Son, where are the Bagel Bites Pizza Snacks?" 
"I ate them all."
1.9 lbs of deliciously bad frozen Bagel Bites Pizza Snacks, gone in a flash.  It would take me 6 meals to kill that box these days.
Pizza Bagel Bites were a fixture of my youth. We used to make "homemade" ones also in the toaster oven. They were glorious.

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19 hours ago, Incredulity said:

Half right.

 

Cooked in this.

Stoned and drunk as hell.

spacer.png

 

And this is what it looked like after you passed out and took it out of the oven 5 hours later-

 

5769439375_a85bb65ca9_b.jpg

Edited by JimmyHoffa

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17 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

First thing I ever "cooked" was a Totino's pizza.  I was like, 9, and home alone.  Decided I was hungry.  Cranked the oven all the way up, tossed a Totino's in the oven.  Went outside to play for a coupla hours.  Came back in to a smoke-filled house and a burnt hockey puck in the oven.

My cooking improved after that.

Well, did you eat it or what?

 

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On 12/10/2019 at 6:30 AM, 4th&Five said:

I ate 4,000 of these in college. 
715pwBTgzxL._SY355_.jpg

I peeled countless layers of skin off the roof of my mouth on these in my haste to eat them.

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On 12/10/2019 at 8:46 AM, Trey3216 said:

This one is pretty damn tasty...

 

spacer.png

This is the answer. Kroger is too proud of them at like $10, fuck that. HEB has them priced appropriately.

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1 hour ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

And this is what it looked like after you passed out and took it out of the oven 5 hours later-

 

5769439375_a85bb65ca9_b.jpg

So in reference to the Stouffers french bread pizza, I had two buddies who lived in separate apt in the same building right after college.  We are doing the standard drinking and smoking Saturday night at one of them.  The other leaves to head back to his apt, where I planned on passing out a little later.  So about an hour later I come down to his apt, open the door, and the place is completely filled with smoke.  I look and my buddy is sound asleep on the couch.  I almost just grab him and drag him out, but I can tell the smoke is coming from the kitchen, so I run in to see if there is anything I can do to prevent a complete disaster.  Sure enough, 2 of the french bread pizzas are burnt to the same degree as this pic.  His apt smelled like smoked for about a month.

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We almost always have some sort of thin crust when we go frozen.  We also almost never just put it in the oven, without doctoring it up some.  We might add some feta, cooked mushrooms and bacon we had left over like we did on a veggie pizza the other night.  I tend to smoke a few chickens on Sunday's to nibble on during the week, and adding a little smoked chicken and BBQ sauce to a pizza is one of my go to additions.

The other thing we do now that we used to not do, is put the pizza on a rack rather than the cutting board to keep the thin crust crisp. The only caution I will give you about adding ingredients is that you need to try and remove as much moisture as possible from whatever you are adding, or the pizza can get soupy. 

Pizza on Friday nights was a staple for my parents especially after my sister and I went off to college. I think they ordered delivery though, but pizza and a bottle of wine isn't a bad way to end the week (if it's not margaritas and tex-mex).

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Funny timing on the thread. Bought a box of Totino's triple meat for $5 at HEB the other day.

Cooked one, sat down to read surly as I ate and came across this thread. 

 There's not a lunch while working from home that's a better combination of taste, ease of cooking and cost.
Almost want to have a second after reading this thread.

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15 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

You guys want to kick up your frozen pizza game, this stuff is awesome

Magic Hot and Sweet Pizza and Pasta - 3.6 oz

The kick up your blood pressure thread is >>>>>>>???????<<<<<<<

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if you want to make almost any frozen pizza awesome, here's what you do. 

  1. Take the pizza out of the box
  2. Look over the instructions
  3. Promptly throw them away
  4. Set the pizza on the counter and let it thaw
  5. Once thawed, cover or drizzle it in olive oil, garlic powder, italian seasoning, and/or whatever seasonings you like
  6. put your pizza stone in the oven
  7. preheat oven to 550 degrees
  8. put pizza in the oven and cook for 5-6 minutes depending on the thickness of the crust and how crunchy you want it
  9. take out, let cool, and enjoy

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in my house frozen pizza serves two purposes:
1. feed hungry kids
2. feed drunk parents
neither of those has time to let a frozen pizza thaw.

There may be truer words, but I’ve never heard them.

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Well, for the drunk parent angle, there's the decent probability that said parents will pass out after placing the frozen pizza on the counter.  It might be thawed in the morning.

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52 minutes ago, Viper said:

if you want to make almost any frozen pizza awesome, here's what you do. 

  1. Take the pizza out of the box
  2. Look over the instructions
  3. Promptly throw them away
  4. Set the pizza on the counter and let it thaw
  5. Once thawed, cover or drizzle it in olive oil, garlic powder, italian seasoning, and/or whatever seasonings you like
  6. put your pizza stone in the oven
  7. preheat oven to 550 degrees
  8. put pizza in the oven and cook for 5-6 minutes depending on the thickness of the crust and how crunchy you want it
  9. take out, let cool, and enjoy

May as well make your own damn pizza from scratch

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Haven't had frozen pizza in a while, but I eat a few Totinos (HEB brand actually) pizza rolls at least twice a month.  My son likes them for snacks, so he knows to throw on 5 or 10 extra when he puts them in the oven.  

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9 hours ago, blacklab said:

Funny timing on the thread. Bought a box of Totino's triple meat for $5 at HEB the other day.

Cooked one, sat down to read surly as I ate and came across this thread. 

 There's not a lunch while working from home that's a better combination of taste, ease of cooking and cost.
Almost want to have a second after reading this thread.

A box or a bag? I haven't seen a Totino's pizza packaged in a box for several years. 

If I saw them in boxes I'd buy a dozen and tell myself I was set for a year. I'd probably run out by the end of bowl season. 

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Did Totino's start as Geno's? I distinctly remember Geno's pizza rolls commercials. Then.. Poof. All there was was Totino's. 

Edited by Baboontyme

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4 minutes ago, Baboontyme said:

Did Totino's start as Geno's? I distinctly remember Geno's pizza rolls commercials. Then.. Poof. All there was was Totino's. 

From the Totino's wiki:

Rose Totino and her husband, Jim, founded a take-out pizzeria in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1951. They later expanded it to a full-service restaurant, which closed in 2011.[1] They also founded a frozen-pizza manufacturing company. The Totinos eventually sold their frozen pizza business to the Pillsbury Company, where Rose Totino was named as vice-president.[2] The Totino's brand was acquired by General Mills with its purchase by Pillsbury.

Separately, Jeno Paulucci developed a series of food businesses starting in the late 1940s, including the Chun King line of Chinese foods.[3] After selling Chun King in 1966, he founded Jeno’s Inc. in 1968, where he developed Pizza Rolls, a type of egg roll filled with pizza ingredients. The first pizza roll flavor was in fact cheese. [3] In 1985, Paulucci sold his Jeno's Pizza Rolls brand to Pillsbury for $135 million.[4]

The Jeno's line of pizza rolls was rebranded as Totino's in 1993

full wiki

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9 minutes ago, Topper13 said:

From the Totino's wiki:

Rose Totino and her husband, Jim, founded a take-out pizzeria in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1951. They later expanded it to a full-service restaurant, which closed in 2011.[1] They also founded a frozen-pizza manufacturing company. The Totinos eventually sold their frozen pizza business to the Pillsbury Company, where Rose Totino was named as vice-president.[2] The Totino's brand was acquired by General Mills with its purchase by Pillsbury.

Separately, Jeno Paulucci developed a series of food businesses starting in the late 1940s, including the Chun King line of Chinese foods.[3] After selling Chun King in 1966, he founded Jeno’s Inc. in 1968, where he developed Pizza Rolls, a type of egg roll filled with pizza ingredients. The first pizza roll flavor was in fact cheese. [3] In 1985, Paulucci sold his Jeno's Pizza Rolls brand to Pillsbury for $135 million.[4]

The Jeno's line of pizza rolls was rebranded as Totino's in 1993

full wiki

Totally OT, but also strangely related.

Those fucking Chun King eggrolls were the bomb.  They need to come back.

Rivaling the French Bread Pizza for endangering the roof of the mouth.

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Totally OT, but also strangely related.
Those fucking Chun King eggrolls were the bomb.  They need to come back.
Rivaling the French Bread Pizza for endangering the roof of the mouth.

When you could get the case of Mihn egg rolls at Sams Club, Chun King was doomed.

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10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


When you could get the case of Mihn egg rolls at Sams Club, Chun King was doomed.

I assume those resemble actual egg rolls?

I'm talking about pizza rolls with salty greasy vegetable matter in them.  Glorious.

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I assume those resemble actual egg rolls?
I'm talking about pizza rolls with salty greasy vegetable matter in them.  Glorious.

Oh, yeah, definitely a different product. But you could get a larger volume of salty greasy “Asian” goodness for cheaper. That was tough to beat.

I think you can still get those...I could swear I’ve had them somewhere the past few years. But, I mean...I was surely drunk, so...

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3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Oh, yeah, definitely a different product. But you could get a larger volume of salty greasy “Asian” goodness for cheaper. That was tough to beat.

I think you can still get those...I could swear I’ve had them somewhere the past few years. But, I mean...I was surely drunk, so...

At Thanksgiving a couple of years back, for one reason or another, the big family get together was postponed until Friday or Saturday, so the wife and I loaded up on frozen crap that looked good that we never buy, like mini bagel dogs, taquitos, etc.  We were hoping to have Chun King eggrolls or a facsimile, but they are nowhere to be found. I think pizza rolls are hard to find as well. We had a white trash Thanksgiving.  But no CK eggrolls.

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16 hours ago, Viper said:

if you want to make almost any frozen pizza awesome, here's what you do. 

  1. Take the pizza out of the box
  2. Look over the instructions
  3. Promptly throw them away
  4. Set the pizza on the counter and let it thaw
  5. Once thawed, cover or drizzle it in olive oil, garlic powder, italian seasoning, and/or whatever seasonings you like
  6. put your pizza stone in the oven
  7. preheat oven to 550 degrees
  8. put pizza in the oven and cook for 5-6 minutes depending on the thickness of the crust and how crunchy you want it
  9. take out, let cool, and enjoy
  1. Take the pizza out of the freezer
  2. Look over the instructions
  3. Set the pizza on the counter
  4. Order pizza from your local pizza schleps
  5. Put pizza back in freezer
  6. Answer the door about the same time it would have taken pizza to thaw
  7. Enjoy

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2 minutes ago, Loco said:
  1. Take the pizza out of the freezer
  2. Look over the instructions
  3. Set the pizza on the counter
  4. Order pizza from your local pizza schleps
  5. Put pizza back in freezer
  6. Answer the door about the same time it would have taken pizza to thaw
  7. Enjoy  Endure

You almost had it.

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1 minute ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

You almost had it.

not everyone lives in a cultural backwater...  either way,  I'm eatin' pizza while Viper is doing his best Salt Bae

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hey man, enjoy paying $20 for pizza when you could have almost as good for $5 with a little forethought. I will admit I don't have a bunch of little kids in my house so it's certainly easier to placate my one preteen while it thaws.

though if you do order, I found a trick  on the dominos app for cheaper 8 topping pizzas. If you get a large 8 topping regularly it will be over $23. But if you instead order a pacific veggie pizza, then remove the veggie toppings you don't want, and replace them with meat or whatever toppings you do want it comes out to $12.99 if you use the specialty pizza coupon.

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29 minutes ago, Viper said:

hey man, enjoy paying $20 for pizza when you could have almost as good for $5 with a little forethought. I will admit I don't have a bunch of little kids in my house so it's certainly easier to placate my one preteen while it thaws.

though if you do order, I found a trick  on the dominos app for cheaper 8 topping pizzas. If you get a large 8 topping regularly it will be over $23. But if you instead order a pacific veggie pizza, then remove the veggie toppings you don't want, and replace them with meat or whatever toppings you do want it comes out to $12.99 if you use the specialty pizza coupon.

I don't mind paying $25 bucks for a good 18" 5 topping pizza.     Like posted above, frozen pizza is for lazy teens or drunken parents.  Digornio Pepperoni or Supreme self rising crust is my go to.

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