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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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10 hours ago, nnm said:

IMG_2409.jpeg.e514627b933885cafcd4c9dbe5796aae.jpeg

Weekly exercise in the nnm household. 

I will never understand why guys will allow this to happen to themselves.  Get a calendar, agree with your wife to put all events there, and do the same for your stuff.  There is zero excuse and you don't have to look bad if you forgot, just look each day for 8 seconds at it.  Then if it's not on the calendar you have an amazing out.  

My wife is the one that does this to me, and having the calendar makes my life so much easier. I've gotten out of going to all kinds of stuff because it wasn't on the calendar and my plans were.  

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3 hours ago, uoftorange said:

I will never understand why guys will allow this to happen to themselves.  Get a calendar, agree with your wife to put all events there, and do the same for your stuff.  There is zero excuse and you don't have to look bad if you forgot, just look each day for 8 seconds at it.  Then if it's not on the calendar you have an amazing out.  

My wife is the one that does this to me, and having the calendar makes my life so much easier. I've gotten out of going to all kinds of stuff because it wasn't on the calendar and my plans were.  

Are you saying a paper calendar at home, or do y'all use an app? An app you or anybody on here likes? Preferably something that can be accessed via mobile and desktop.

I'd like to get the shared calendar going, but I can't access personal google stuff from my work computer so it rules out google calendar. I don't like the iphone native calendar for adding events.

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3 hours ago, uoftorange said:

I will never understand why guys will allow this to happen to themselves.  Get a calendar, agree with your wife to put all events there, and do the same for your stuff.  There is zero excuse and you don't have to look bad if you forgot, just look each day for 8 seconds at it.  Then if it's not on the calendar you have an amazing out.  

My wife is the one that does this to me, and having the calendar makes my life so much easier. I've gotten out of going to all kinds of stuff because it wasn't on the calendar and my plans were.  

Im gonna stop you right there. 

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16 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Wife's painting the laundry room for some stupid reason, even though we're going to have the whole house painted in about 3 months.

I'm lying on the couch, under the blanket, watching football with the dog lying next to me.

Her: Can you come in here when there's a break?

Me: No, I'm not going to get up and give you my opinion of how the laundry room looks.

Her: Why?

Me: Because I don't care and I'm extremely comfortable here.  

Her: blahblahblah  I want to know if it needs another coat of paint!

Me: You're the painter!  You decide!

Her: But I need another pair of eyes!

<I get up and go look>

Me: I think it looks fine...

Her:  <pause> I'm going to put another coat on it.   
 

 

Fantastic.

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5 hours ago, Spoosner said:

Are you saying a paper calendar at home, or do y'all use an app? An app you or anybody on here likes? Preferably something that can be accessed via mobile and desktop.

I'd like to get the shared calendar going, but I can't access personal google stuff from my work computer so it rules out google calendar. I don't like the iphone native calendar for adding events.

Google calendars. We let each other see the other person's calendar. Do it on the computer, or iPhone calendar, or Google calendar app (which sucks even more).

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7 hours ago, Spoosner said:

Are you saying a paper calendar at home, or do y'all use an app? An app you or anybody on here likes? Preferably something that can be accessed via mobile and desktop.

I'd like to get the shared calendar going, but I can't access personal google stuff from my work computer so it rules out google calendar. I don't like the iphone native calendar for adding events.

Google Calendars all day.  Perfect tool for me.  And iphone has a google calendar app so you don't need to use the native one.  I think the app works very well, but yes I do 95% on my computer. 

Edited by uoftorange
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Yep.
{Texting unless indicated otherwise}
Her: Are you at HEB.
Me: Yes.
Her: I need hearts of palm.
Me: What?
Her: Yeah for the salad.
Me: Okayyyyy
[use HEB app to find aisle]
[Walk to aisle]
Me: How much do you need?
------------
Me: [adds question mark to previous text]
-------------
Me: ??????????
--------------
Me: [calls her phone]
Her: [goes to voicemail]
 
{30 minutes later}
 
Her: Did you call?
Me: Yeah, NM I'm leaving the store
Her: Did you get the hearts of palm?
Me: Yes
Her: How much?
Me: 1 jar
Her: I needed at least 2. Why didn't you get more?


100% of the time, this happens 200% of the time.
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This is the same as all of my wife complaints, and I am trying to figure out how to short circuit this or always remember to approach differently, but she is just the master at failing to comprehend how to provide any useful information.

Background here, we have a newborn, who was on the dock-a-tot on the table while we were eating breakfast. If I smell something funny while the baby is around my first thought is poop. My wife sits down with some sort of thing that looks like a cream cheese vegetable dip and I smell something strong, the information I was looking for was what ingredient on her plate might explain the smell.

CM: What is that?
CM Wife: it's a dip.
CM: Yeah but what is in it? Is it like a coleslaw or something?
CM Wife: I'm not sure
CM: Does it have cabbage?
CM Wife: It's vegetables.
CM: Where did you get it?
CM Wife: I made it out of that rainbow salad I had you get.

nm find the fact that she doesn't know what is in something that she herself made, here is the rainbow salad:
image.png.b5a4abdcc9f29901b2ebf0eb59774374.png

i suppose I need to just start with "what is that smell", but it's just maddening how tactical I have to be to get "it's cabbage and cream cheese" from "what is that".

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We’re going to Japan for spring break. So far we’ve only booked a ryokan in Kyoto.

So all of yesterday she’s pestering me about renting Japanese clothes to take pictures at different touristy spots.

I said we should focus on booking hotels and seats on the bullet train. But still non stop talk about clothes rental.

I finally told her I don’t give a shit about clothes. She didn’t like I’m my use of that word. But holy shit woman, let’s get the basics down first. 

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2 hours ago, Superhero said:

I would wear that.

Tell your wife that this is the outfit you have to wear for all of the "outfit" pictures, and if she can't get that for you then to stop trying.

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I would wear that.
My Judo Sensei had a modern Dō Maru, Ō-Yoroi set, Bogu & Hakama that he purchased while training @ the Kodokan.

After he passed away in the early 90's, I was supposed to get all of that stuff, however I think his personal possessions were partially raided while most everyone else was @ the memorial service & his Mom never really wanted to talk about it.

I ended up with a Skandanavian wooden table & 4 chairs.

The armor (Dø Maru & Ō-Yaroi) were both a deep gloss black with gold trim.

Altogether, everything would probably be worth close to # 25,000.⁰⁰ in today's dollars; supposedly he got all of this in the mid 70 s.
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This is about a married couple, so... that was a lie.
It's the greatest lie women ever tell - that they were going to initiate some sex act later but because you pissed them off they aren't going to do it now.

Narrator: They were never going to do anything later even if you did everything right.
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22 hours ago, Superhero said:

We’re going to Japan for spring break. So far we’ve only booked a ryokan in Kyoto.

So all of yesterday she’s pestering me about renting Japanese clothes to take pictures at different touristy spots.

I said we should focus on booking hotels and seats on the bullet train. But still non stop talk about clothes rental.

I finally told her I don’t give a shit about clothes. She didn’t like I’m my use of that word. But holy shit woman, let’s get the basics down first. 

So basically she wants y'all to look like this the whole time.

screen-shot-2015-02-11-at-22-32-00.png?w

 

Also don't forget to watch "Battling Seizure Robots" and visit America Town lol 

MV5BMGNhNzIwZGYtZjQ1Yy00MWRhLWJkYmItMzkz

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On 1/16/2024 at 9:04 PM, Dnaguy said:

 

Yep.

{Texting unless indicated otherwise}

Her: Are you at HEB.

Me: Yes.

Her: I need hearts of palm.

Me: What?

Her: Yeah for the salad.

Me: Okayyyyy

[Use HEB app to find aisle]

[Walk to aisle]

Me: How much do you need?

------------

Me: [adds question mark to previous text]

-------------

Me: ??????????

--------------

Me: [calls her phone]

Her: [goes to voicemail]

 

{30 minutes later}

 

Her: Did you call?

Me: Yeah, NM I'm leaving the store

Her: Did you get the hearts of palm?

Me: Yes

Her: How much?

Me: 1 jar

Her: I needed at least 2. Why didn't you get more?

😡

"Why didn't you get more?"

"Because I had to hurry home to murder you."

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2 hours ago, Nivek said:

Wife tells me next week there will be a celestial alignment where we can let go of the past.

So what is the plan?

I'm 100% sure she is gonna let go of that one time 7 years ago on vacation when that blonde waitress with huge tits was flirting with you for 2 seconds and you didn't immediately yell at that slut for flirting with you in front of the woman you love more than life itself.

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I'm 100% sure she is gonna let go of that one time 7 years ago on vacation when that blonde waitress with huge tits was flirting with you for 2 seconds and you didn't immediately yell at that slut for flirting with you in front of the woman you love more than life itself.
d61aa8841ab0364955f83d23bdd89f06.jpg
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Wife tells me next week there will be a celestial alignment where we can let go of the past.

So what is the plan?
HER plan is that you mention something you did - maybe flirted with the cute checkout girl @ the grocery store 18 years ago...

& She has Ø to add other than to see what you would come up with.

It's-A-Trap.jpg/Ackbar
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