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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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53 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

this goddamn practice of teasing customer with a discount/coupon, that apparently excludes every product on earth.

i returned an amazon.com package to kohls (rather than dropping it off with a shipper), and they gave me a 20% off coupon.  cool.  turns out, it aint valid on shit.

buying something from saks fifth avenue, which says 10% off the first order.  here's the exclusion list:

Screenshot2023-04-09at12_19_21AM.thumb.png.6a705c2910568935d28ae4bc7f8420ca.png

Rage for sure. But what could you possibly be buying at Saks? Weird ass store. 

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23 minutes ago, Orale said:

Rage for sure. But what could you possibly be buying at Saks? Weird ass store. 

1000% weird.  And the answer is fuckall from the physical store, but from webstore I can cash out gift card for normal homeware shit, and bought a Zwilling/Henckels kitchen knife.

...Zwilling is the last thing on the exclusion list

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The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.

On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.

Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror. 🤬

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6 minutes ago, Superhero said:

The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.

On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.

Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror. 🤬

Same for rain

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The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.
On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.
Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror.

Fucking PREACH. I’ll even be behind them at a light. I honk. I flip my lights on and off. I hit my brights. I honk again. CLUELESS. I bet my success rate of getting someone to turn their lights on is 1 in 10. It’s taught me that most people pay zero fucking attention to anything that’s happening around them when they drive. I mean, I suspected that, but to see it confirmed, shit.
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3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Fucking PREACH. I’ll even be behind them at a light. I honk. I flip my lights on and off. I hit my brights. I honk again. CLUELESS. I bet my success rate of getting someone to turn their lights on is 1 in 10. It’s taught me that most people pay zero fucking attention to anything that’s happening around them when they drive. I mean, I suspected that, but to see it confirmed, shit.

You gonna get shot.

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13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Same for rain

Driving around Thursday and Friday during the rain, and the amount of dumbasses in grey or dark cars that refuse to turn on their headlights is infuriating.

 

I blame the electronic dashes.  If they were old-school dials, they'd be wondering why they can't see a dang thing in the car, and realize they're morons and need their headlights.

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4 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

I blame the electronic dashes.  If they were old-school dials, they'd be wondering why they can't see a dang thing in the car, and realize they're morons and need their headlights.

At the same time, most modern cars have auto settings on their lights, or at least DRLs (fuck you NHTSA for not making them mandatory).

I’m not saying we should go back to mechanical gages and little incandescent bulbs lighting them, but do something something so people can’t see their dash at night without turning their lights on. 

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On 3/29/2023 at 2:47 PM, Native Horn said:

Something I learned today: there's a dressing made in Nebraska named Dorothy Lynch, and it is "both sweet and spicy."  I love this place.

It’s fucking delicious, and @Al_4_ISU can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

It’s fucking delicious, and @Al_4_ISU can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 

I fuck with butter on cold meat sandwiches

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I fuck with butter on cold meat sandwiches

I’ve read that sentence a dozen times and don’t know what it means. It has all the elements of a proper sentence intended to impart information, it just doesn’t. 

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It’s fucking delicious, and [mention=1238]Al_4_ISU[/mention] can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 
Jambon buerre is a classic.
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9 hours ago, nnm said:

I’ve read that sentence a dozen times and don’t know what it means. It has all the elements of a proper sentence intended to impart information, it just doesn’t. 

It’s Surly for “I like butter on cold meat sandwiches”.

Kenny specified ham, but it works with turkey, roast beef, thuringer, braunschweiger, etc.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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Sorry, why are we pretending that this is a real mysterious question worthy of exploration?

I'm 5 billion percent supportive of womens right, and if I had a daughter who wanted to play hockey, rope cattle, or sumo wrestle, i'd encourage her with every last dollar in my wallet.

But let's not play dumb for the sake of sounding progressive.

image.thumb.png.d862514e382e7821781e5c437e86447b.png

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12 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Racing teams dont wanna pay to fix curbed rims

Also the additional cost of putting a mirror in the sun visor so they can do their makeup while going 200 mph.  And the engineers would have to figure out how to get a cup holder in there for the pumpkin spiced latte brewed fresh during every pit stop.

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12 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Also the additional cost of putting a mirror in the sun visor so they can do their makeup while going 200 mph.  And the engineers would have to figure out how to get a cup holder in there for the pumpkin spiced latte brewed fresh during every pit stop.

A few years ago my wife was driving my car and, at a stoplight, pulled down the visor and opened the mirror to check her lipstick. I didn’t even know there was a mirror there.
 

In 45 or so years of driving many different vehicles, I don’t think I have ever checked to see if the driver’s visor has a mirror. If I need to check my hair, that’s what the rear view mirror is for. 

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8 minutes ago, nnm said:

A few years ago my wife was driving my car and, at a stoplight, pulled down the visor and opened the mirror to check her lipstick. I didn’t even know there was a mirror there.
 

In 45 or so years of driving many different vehicles, I don’t think I have ever checked to see if the driver’s visor has a mirror. If I need to check my hair, that’s what the rear view mirror is for. 

Congratulations, you have a penis.

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On 3/29/2023 at 3:00 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm tired of being the only person who follows the rules.  Next time I go to HEB I'm going to ride around on one of those scooters with Sebastian as my 70 lb emotional support doofus.  I'm going to make it a point to crash into every one of those order pullers and then I'm going to take my 25 items to the express lane.

 

Be sure to pay with a check, and for god's sake, don't start filling it in until the very very end after everything is rung up. Also, be sure to make people wait while you update the check log at the counter.

 

 

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On 3/30/2023 at 6:28 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I’ve frequented Walmart this year more than the last few years combined. Not only are their groceries cheaper than the grocery store I usually goto, but the people watching is great because you’ll never know what you’ll see.

 

This is my concern dude.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Just got an email reply from a highly educated, grown-assed man saying that he is for “all intensive purposes ready to sign the contract” to build his house.  
 

Dude. 

Dude went to some kind of booshey school like eatme

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16 hours ago, deadshank said:

Just got an email reply from a highly educated, grown-assed man saying that he is for “all intensive purposes ready to sign the contract” to build his house.  
 

Dude. 

You should sign your response with

 

“best retards,

me”

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Weird bitch but it's Surly and trivial.

Drove up again to my hometown to deal with my parents' estate today.

I just went to get a sixer at the corner store, and the cashier started to wrap the six-pack in a big, thick, black plastic bag. I said "No, that's not necessary."

But then the cashier went into this schpiel about how Texas law requires a plastic bag be wrapped around a six-pack because of some fictitious (so far as I know) law that treats a standard six-pack of unopened bottles packaged in a normal cardboardish whatever that every six-pack of bottled beer you've ever purchased MUST BE thoroughly wrapped in plastic to exit the store.

Me: "Dude, I've been buying beer for 30 years, and this is the first I've ever heard of that. Have you seen this town? Every mesquite has a plastic bag stuck in it. Go drive by the Walmart."

Him: "Sorry, man, that's the law."

Me: "Whatever. That can't possibly be true. Down in Austin (which as a phrase probably marked me as being an asshole), I specifically say "no bag" to every request, and everyone is cool with that without fail. I promise you this is just a store policy and not the law."

 

The dude looks at me like I'm an alien for that exchange. Sure, I understand he's in a dead-end job and is just spouting company line, so I didn't give him any more grief and walked out with a six-pack of Dos Equis wrapped in an extra thick, black plastic bag.

Is this really a thing in Texas? Am I the asshole baddie?

Edited by bolverk
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Weird bitch but it's Surly and trivial.
Drove up again to my hometown to deal with my parents' estate today.
I just went to get a sixer at the corner store, and the cashier started to wrap the six-pack in a big, thick, black plastic bag. I said "No, that's not necessary."
But then the cashier went into this schpiel about how Texas law requires a plastic bag be wrapped around a six-pack because of some fictitious (so far as I know) law that treats a standard six-pack of unopened bottles packaged in a normal cardboardish whatever that every six-pack of bottled beer you've ever purchased MUST BE thoroughly wrapped in plastic to exit the store.
Me: "Dude, I've been buying beer for 30 years, and this is the first I've ever heard of that. Have you seen this town? Every mesquite has a plastic bag stuck in it. Go drive by the Walmart."
Him: "Sorry, man, that's the law."
Me: "Whatever. That can't possibly be true. Down in Austin (which as a phrase probably marked me as being an asshole), I specifically say "no bag" to every request, and everyone is cool with that without fail. I promise you this is just a store policy and not the law."
 
The dude looks at me like I'm an alien for that exchange. Sure, I understand he's in a dead-end job and is just spouting company line, so I didn't give him any more grief and walked out with a six-pack of Dos Equis wrapped in an extra thick, black plastic bag.
Is this really a thing in Texas? Am I the asshole baddie?

763c72ca21114d8b0f24d31581225a8a.jpg
7 years ago, but with more places banning plastic bags I can’t believe Texas would pass a law to force people to use them.
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