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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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1 minute ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

Every hand you shake has, at some point, had a dick in it.

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31 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Dudes commenting on the attractiveness of women generally when they are not in the context of any sort of profession where attractiveness matters a damn. I mean, seriously, who gives a fuck that politician x, y, or z looks like hammered dog shit, whether male or female? Do they do their fucking jobs, or not? "Is she attractive?" is only a relevant question regarding a celebrity if she's an entertainer being paid to be attractive.

Seriously all that really matters is does she give head and like anal....

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8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

think about how often you use your phone in the shitter, and how rarely you clean it.

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1 hour ago, elfenix said:

think about how often you use your phone in the shitter, and how rarely you clean it.

Fair point.  But don’t take phone into shitter and I sanitize it every 48hrs.  We have a 5 day old baby at home and a toddler, I don’t risk that shit.  Plus the phone goes into a drawer when I get home.  Having that said, I have ejaculated into about every wash cloth in the Starwood/Marriott empire.  So don’t use one when traveling.  

You can’t avoid germs and a moderate amount are actually good for you.  What you can do though is try hard to not bring  home illness from traveling and don’t go to so much trouble to get my jizz on you.  My favorite thing to do after beating off in the hotel room is grab the remote and put on something funny to distract from my shame.  And so much of my snot is around the bed and nightstand in hotels. Just gobs  of phlegm. 

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2 hours ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

You are a filthy motherfucker that gets around too much then.

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The clickbait article that makes its rounds every few years about how everything has measurable amounts of fecal matter on it makes me surly. It starts "your toothbrush has shit on it" then "everything in your house has shit on it." Of course there are a billion other compounds that can be identified on any surface using today's technology. I'm not living my life worried about a microscopic speck of shit on everything. I wash my hands after I shit and use sanitizer often, mostly to avoid catching colds or other common sicknesses, but not because of that stupid article and worries of shit on everything.

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7 minutes ago, 'stache said:

The clickbait article that makes its rounds every few years about how everything has measurable amounts of fecal matter on it makes me surly. It starts "your toothbrush has shit on it" then "everything in your house has shit on it." Of course there are a billion other compounds that can be identified on any surface using today's technology. I'm not living my life worried about a microscopic speck of shit on everything. I wash my hands after I shit and use sanitizer often, mostly to avoid catching colds or other common sicknesses, but not because of that stupid article and worries of shit on everything.

I love the bit I saw once on how many molecules you take in with every breath that once were a part of Aristotle. That one always got a dialectical chuckle out of me.

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If you use a third party launcher like Nova, and restore your apps from the cloud, Android actually makes it fairly painless to migrate to new phones. Android can match (most of, unless compatibility issue with a specific app) the same installed apps from another device on your same Google account, and via the launcher's own backup, your UI settings and icon arrangements can be restored to a new device.

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10 minutes ago, elfenix said:

got into the parking garage at work, looked down at the odometer, 150,002.  completely fucking missed it.  i'd been looking forward all yesterday, even thought about driving the extra couple miles yesterday so that i'd be parked at home with 150,000.  i was already in a sour mood due to lack of caffeine and sleep (really seems like we've had more 2 am thunderstorms lately than usual).  now i'm just completely pissed the fuck off.

Brother?

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Not really a "surly" thing per se.  More of an, "I don't get it" thing.

Why would anyone put a decal of a company on the back of their car?  I guess I'd get it if you were in the corporate dept. of, say, John Deere.  On the way home today, I saw an Apple, Nike, and Yeti decal on the backs of cars.  I don't understand.

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5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not really a "surly" thing per se.  More of an, "I don't get it" thing.

Why would anyone put a decal of a company on the back of their car?  I guess I'd get it if you were in the corporate dept. of, say, John Deere.  On the way home today, I saw an Apple, Nike, and Yeti decal on the backs of cars.  I don't understand.

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

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9 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

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1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

I do when I can’t read what state they’re from. I can’t stand dealerships, but that feeling is pretty universal. 

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It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?
You have to remove the dealer frame, install the license plate, and reinstall the dealer frame. You're an absolute moron in my eyes if you do this.
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On 4/3/2019 at 11:50 AM, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

Hey Siri. Make me a fucking sandwich. 

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23 hours ago, Okie State said:
On 4/6/2019 at 12:24 PM, WhatTheBuck said:
It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

You have to remove the dealer frame, install the license plate, and reinstall the dealer frame. You're an absolute moron in my eyes if you do this.

Quit buying poors cars.  Does the dealership not always handle putting the plate on?  Pass the caviar.

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10 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

How else are you going to disrupt the paradigm?

Value added to shifting the noun/verb market place. Huddle for a scrum with stakeholders for road mapping and parking lot alignment.

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

 

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

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2 hours ago, slorch said:

We need our customers to lean in on this marketing...

What in the living fuck does this even mean?  Yes, contextual clues, but who heard it the first time and thought, "Yes, that sounds smarter than hell..."

Obviously you've never sat thru a Marketing meeting. Everyone else in the company are morons and if it wasn't for the marketing people, you'd all be out of jobs. So I've been told by the marketing people. Synergy. 

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On 4/6/2019 at 11:24 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

The police do if it covers any part of any numbers or letters they can pull you over for it.

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At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

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49 minutes ago, TornACL said:

At the end of the car buying negotiation I always tell them my final condition / ask is that they remove all the marketing materials from the car. You'll always get the "oh we can't remove that, company policy, etc" and then I tell them that yes, I'm absolutely petty enough to walk away from this deal if they won't take that stupid decal off my car.  Plus, they always offer to wash it and fill up the tank anyway, while you're doing that, take that bullshit off.

 

I go even farther.  I tell them I will gladly let them leave them on for 1-3 years if hey will take $1000-$3000 off the price.  I call it my fee to market their dealership.

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