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88th Texas Legislature


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When do I get a fertile young female assigned to me for procreation?

Dude. It’s texas, we’re trying to make A Handmaid’s Tale into a documentary. Buddy up to GQP leadership, and you’ll have one assigned to you by the next legislative session (or the one after that, tops).
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5 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

I’m curious what the breaking point will be 

4 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Don’t kid yourself. There’s not one. The average Texan is a complete piece of shit.

Birth control.  I don't know what they will go after first, but I'm guessing The Pill.

Alternative: They enact a Louisiana-style porn bill where you have to show state ID to view porn online.

And I do believe they will go after one or the other.

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Was playing blackjack in an Oklahoma casino and the okie I was playing with was bitching about the 50 cent ante to the state that each player had to make on each hand. He suggested that an okie DL should be exempt him from paying it. Told that fucker that I’d be ok with the same table odds if Texas would pull its head out of its ass on casinos. He started talking how he knew when he passed the Oklahoma state line when the state highways went to shit.  

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15 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Was playing blackjack in an Oklahoma casino and the okie I was playing with was bitching about the 50 cent ante to the state that each player had to make on each hand. He suggested that an okie DL should be exempt him from paying it. Told that fucker that I’d be ok with the same table odds if Texas would pull its head out of its ass on casinos. He started talking how he knew when he passed the Oklahoma state line when the state highways went to shit.  

we used to talk so much shit about louisiana and crossing that state line back in the day. i shit you not, it's still bad, but it used to be smooth sailing until pothole fucking city on the louisiana side of the bridge. 

now the roles are somewhat, if not completely, reversed. it's fucking maddening.

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2 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

we used to talk so much shit about louisiana and crossing that state line back in the day. i shit you not, it's still bad, but it used to be smooth sailing until pothole fucking city on the louisiana side of the bridge. 

now the roles are somewhat, if not completely, reversed. it's fucking maddening.

Yeah but Freedomland!  

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tik tok gone from state campus wi-fi systems.

they're going hard on drag shows. any place hosting a drag show, will have to be a sexually oriented business. Per some maga state rep, men dressed in women's underwear are letting kids stuff dollar bills in drag queen undies. WE MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN !!!

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I wanna know which legislator’s wife likes drag shows, and why he hates her so much.

Dade Phelan’s older brother and I (unknowingly, we were underage and thought it was a biker bar) walked into a gay bar one afternoon for a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. Not sure why I all of a sudden remembered that.

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8 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

we used to talk so much shit about louisiana and crossing that state line back in the day. i shit you not, it's still bad, but it used to be smooth sailing until pothole fucking city on the louisiana side of the bridge. 

now the roles are somewhat, if not completely, reversed. it's fucking maddening.

Fucking hate when we get into Oklahoma on the turnpikes and they're fantastic.  Meanwhile, I haven't been able to drive through Dallas from Austin on up through Oklahoma and points N/E, without running into some kind of construction over the past 25 years, minus one or two years.

It's gotta be a huge fucking scam, making some developers (probably out-of-staters or even foreigners) a shitload of money.  Those highways will never be done.

50 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Is there a connection between tik tok and drags shows or was that two separate thoughts. I mean cause fuck tik tok. 

China.

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50 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

So what's on the table for addressing another Uvalde? You know, because a special session couldn't be called and Abbott promised that something would be done during the regular session.

Mandatory AR-15s for anyone within 500 feet of a school. 

The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is to arm every K-12 student with a gun.  And the teachers.  And the janitors.  And the crossing guards. 

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55 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

So what's on the table for addressing another Uvalde? You know, because a special session couldn't be called and Abbott promised that something would be done during the regular session.

We're locking doors now. What else do you want?!?

And, actually, that's not even happening anymore. At the beginning of the year, district and TEA officials would come by my campus at least once a week and check interior and exterior doors to make sure they were locked. But I haven't seen any of them around since October, so I guess we're done with that too. "Thoughts and prayers" it is.

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11 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Bob the Drag Queen is opening for Madonna at the Moody Center in September. Is UT going to register as a sexually oriented business?

You laugh but Dan Patrick is already planning on blocking this.  I'm 90% sure it's gonna become a "thing" with him (it's a privately funded venue, but there's no denying it's state lands).  And I'm already 20% sure there's gonna be a special session about it over the Summer.  I wish I was kidding.

Edited by YGIFS
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So what's the ultimate fall out of property tax reform that gives the average home owner $175-500 back? I believe there are different reforms under consideration. 

My understanding is that this mainly targets school taxes. I was under the belief that if a school doesn't hit their allowable tax revenue target based on student days, the state was obligated to make up the shortfall. And if the school receives too much in tax revenue, they owe it to the state.

If the ISDs are collecting less school tax revenue, doesn't that put a huge burden on the state? Why do I want to think that the burden will somehow be shifted to the poorer school districts to get less help while the average wealthy ISD will be kept whole?

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8 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

So what's the ultimate fall out of property tax reform that gives the average home owner $175-500 back? I believe there are different reforms under consideration. 

My understanding is that this mainly targets school taxes. I was under the belief that if a school doesn't hit their allowable tax revenue target based on student days, the state was obligated to make up the shortfall. And if the school receives too much in tax revenue, they owe it to the state.

If the ISDs are collecting less school tax revenue, doesn't that put a huge burden on the state? Why do I want to think that the burden will somehow be shifted to the poorer school districts to get less help while the average wealthy ISD will be kept whole?

I'd wager whatever they do will shift it to where Austin ISD will be sending three-quarters of its revenue to the state rather than just half.

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13 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Bob the Drag Queen is opening for Madonna at the Moody Center in September. Is UT going to register as a sexually oriented business?

I hope Abbott prohibits this from happening and Madonna cancels all her shows in Texas, because fuck Abbott

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4 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

I hope Abbott prohibits this from happening and Madonna cancels all her shows in Texas, because fuck Abbott

They’d be fine with that 

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On 1/19/2023 at 9:14 AM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

So what's the ultimate fall out of property tax reform that gives the average home owner $175-500 back? I believe there are different reforms under consideration. 

My understanding is that this mainly targets school taxes. I was under the belief that if a school doesn't hit their allowable tax revenue target based on student days, the state was obligated to make up the shortfall. And if the school receives too much in tax revenue, they owe it to the state.

If the ISDs are collecting less school tax revenue, doesn't that put a huge burden on the state? Why do I want to think that the burden will somehow be shifted to the poorer school districts to get less help while the average wealthy ISD will be kept whole?

You are correct, for the part of school finance that pays for daily operations (like teacher pay).  The part of school finance that is related to building schools is not part of Robin Hood.  For operations, money comes in to the state based on property tax rates and money goes out to the districts based on a funding formula.  The funding formula is the key to how teachers get paid in Texas.

Right now the Robin Hood plan is bringing in more money than the state is obligated to give out.  So if you live in Austin or Eanes or any other "rich" district, some of your school tax money is going to the state and just staying there as a budget surplus.  It's not going back to the schools.

So, there is room for property tax "reform" which might mean "compressing" tax rates more, which would mean that your school tax goes down, Robin Hood payments go down, and excess school tax doesn't just pile up in state coffers or go to other state programs.  Balance the equation...

Alternatively, the state could increase the funding formula.  Keep tax rates where they are but raise the "entitlement" for districts so that teachers are paid more.  This would also balance the equation.  We would have to replace a few teachers that died of disbelief that this actually happened, but most would survive and be able to pay their rent.

Or, the state could find a new source of revenue, like maybe a 1% state sales tax.  They could lower property taxes and raise teacher pay.

Right now there is a mismatch between the money coming to the state and the money going out to the schools.  Most of the proposals that I have seen relate to resolving that mismatch, or shifting tax burdens between property tax and other taxes.

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I am super fucking confused (as usual).  Our ISD Superintendent and some of his senior staff invited me to a lobbyist luncheon near the Capitol.  The guest list is half lobbyists for public school coalitions.  The other half are lobbyists for voucher groups.  I honestly have no idea what the fuck the point of this is going to be and I definitely picked the wrong week to quit drinking.  I'm guessing our district is playing long-game, if vouchers do come to fruition...we'll be one of those most sought out districts for incoming transfers (we already have several hundred across the district) and that's a huge infusion of money.  

Our district is one of those that overpays into recapture and two of our campuses are literally falling apart and among the most dilapidated.  Our teachers make only $1500 more than the state average, we have a massive retention problem, and the cost of living in this part of Austin is such that none of them can afford to live anywhere near where they work.  We literally have teachers/staff commuting in from Temple, Belton, Seguin, etc.  I can't imagine their fuel costs.  But nobody outside our district gives a shit because our student outcomes look good on paper.  Obviously we can tack on more bonds to fix the buildings, adding to our already crippling property tax bill.  But there has got to be some happy medium where more of recapture is either distributed back to schools in conjunction with our rising overall tax bill due to needed maintenance and construction.  But instead they're treated as two separate silos and debt service platforms.  When that's not really the case.   

Also, they want to build a massive and very expensive parking garage at our high school which I think is dumb as fuck.  Enrollment is in decline, driver licenses are in decline, single-rider automobile are in decline.  And such a garage wouldn't be delivered until 2029-30 school year when those rates will continue to plummet at a higher rate.  If we're gonna build it, it should be purpose-built to have entire levels eventually converted to learning space or athletics practice areas.  But of course, that's more expensive out of the gate and our bond bandwidth doesn't allow for that this cycle.  So 20 years from now, we can all enjoy a massive fucking eyesore and financial miscalculation.  /rant

This session is gonna be good for UT and higher ed, which is nice.  And gonna be a total shitshow for K-12.  

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1 hour ago, Texas Jeff said:

Right now the Robin Hood plan is bringing in more money than the state is obligated to give out.  So if you live in Austin or Eanes or any other "rich" district, some of your school tax money is going to the state and just staying there as a budget surplus.  It's not going back to the schools.

 

The state is overinflating the rainy day fund by withholding from public education? No way 

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5 hours ago, YGIFS said:

   

Also, they want to build a massive and very expensive parking garage at our high school which I think is dumb as fuck.  Enrollment is in decline, driver licenses are in decline, single-rider automobile are in decline.  And such a garage wouldn't be delivered until 2029-30 school year when those rates will continue to plummet at a higher rate.  If we're gonna build it, it should be purpose-built to have entire levels eventually converted to learning space or athletics practice areas.  But of course, that's more expensive out of the gate and our bond bandwidth doesn't allow for that this cycle.  So 20 years from now, we can all enjoy a massive fucking eyesore and financial miscalculation.  /rant

Someone high up has a brother-in-law who owns a company that builds parking garages. 

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Just now, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Someone high up has a brother-in-law who owns a company that builds parking garages. 

That's what I've been thinking.  Sure as shit wish somebody high up had a brother-in-law with a plumbing company because the bathrooms across our district are a pretty sad state of affairs.  When you'd rather hold it and piss at Posse East, there's an issue.  

 i Realize it didn't have to do with Legislature's education agenda, but the way they pretend bond issuances (like the 2-3 coming down the pike at our ISD) at the district level fall wildly separate from regular recapture is very misleading to voters.  When you cut your check and the line item for ISD goes to the state, they don't collect it all and then calculate what each specific homeowner owes in terms of debt service on the bonds issued since they bought the home.  and send that portion directly back to the schools to pay their underwriters/bondholders.  

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So, a bit of chuckleworthy irony struck our household this weekend.
Remember how Trump loves him some Norway, asking why we don't get all our immigrants from there instead of "shithole countries?"
And remember how our own Lite Guv, Dan Patrick, couldn't fellate Donny boy hard enough?
And how that same Lite Guv stays awake all night, every night, worried about which bathroom people go to?
Daughter posted this observation from Oslo (she's visiting a friend there this weekend):
 
a310d78a681f15699cd40ada7bea97c6.jpg

I have seen the “shithole country.” It’s us.

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