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Bullies making fun of my kids


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My husband and I made a conscious, rational decision to homeschool our boys. However, I took a new job at the beginning of the school year that I couldn’t pass up, and we’ve put them in public school. My boys have typically been a great students, but ever since they’ve been in public school, their grades haven’t been up to par. Hubs and I have met with administrators and counselors, pretty much monthly, and I guess they weren’t telling us the full story until now. Apparently they are both being bullied by multiple other children. The admins didn’t know why, or wouldn’t say, but after some prodding we were able to find out that the other kids are constantly teasing them about things they can’t control—most notably making fun of their names. The admins say they can choose to go by middles, or nicknames, but it doesn’t seem fair for my kids to have to adapt like this when it’s the others causing the problem. How should we approach this?

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Couple of things.

Teach them to fight.  That will build their confidence and could come in handy.  

Teach them how fight with words.  They may need step 1 in place before using this method but you can shut bullies up by making them look stupid.   

Ask the school why the fuck they are not doing something about this?  

WTF did you name them?

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Obviously, it sucks when your children are the target of mean kids. That said, what exactly do you want the school to do? Kids are mean and tease each other. It sucks but it's a fact of life. At some point in your child's life, they will have to endure someone shitty who is mean to them or makes fun of them. The best thing you can do is teach them to not let it affect them and to grow a thicker skin. It's not easy but when you allow someone to know they are getting to you, it will persist or get worse. Or do what Leeroy said. Perhaps your kids need some help with confidence since you saddled them with names that people are going to make fun of. Or give it back to the mean kids with their own form of humor. Humor is a great way to defuse dumb situations like this. Teach them the subtle art of sarcasm. 

Edited by mdmost
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9 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

They are 10 and 8. This is near Dallas.


hit the school and isd with the fist of god until they do something 

 

recently, a female middle school student (I know her dad), a kid made a very rude and bullying comment online. The parents went to the school and they dropped the hammer on the kid. He was removed from the same classes. Him and his parents were told, if he does it again he’s removed from the school. The bully was from a ‘good’ and well off family, his parents took it seriously so that helps 


best luck to you 

 

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21 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Ask the school why the fuck they are not doing something about this?  

For all their talk about zero tolerance, schools do not do jack shit when kids are being bullied.  They will jump into action if the bullied kid fights back, though.  It's completely fucked up.

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1 minute ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

I would have gone with Mao and Pol Pot, personally.  

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It sucks, given how completely fucked up school policies are regarding situations like this, but the old-school ways are sometimes still the best ones.  Teach your boys how to break someone's nose.  If they are slight of frame or just can't throw a punch, they're likely carrying around steel water bottles which will do the trick just as nicely.  One time is all it will take, and no one will fuck with them again.  Should be the oldest boy and then make sure word is spread that if anyone fucks with his brother, they'll get the same treatment.   It's not pretty, it's not progressive, and it will come with consequences.  But those consequence might be worth it depending on how badly this is fucking up your kids' mental health.

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2 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

Fucking hitby

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6 minutes ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

hitby, I'm going to kick your ass the next time I see you at Texas OU. 

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5 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I may not be the best role model.  My daughter has Autism but you were never know now.   She is going to graduate from UT next year a year early.  In 4th grade this other girl kept bullying my daughter and she was also bullyng other kids in the class.  My daughter wasn't strong willed at the time and it really effected her.  She couldn't even understand what it was to be mean.  The other girl's mom worked for the school district and was a bitch about the entire thing.  The school "tried" to help but not really and they seemed to be afraid of her. 

After a meeting at the school I may or may not have threatened to slap the shit out of the mom and beat the shit out of the dad of the other girl (in the parking lot when no one else was around) if they didn't do something about their little shit head.  Magically things changed and the other parents would flee in my presence.     

As a fellow parent of a high functioning autistic kid, good on you.  

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19 minutes ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I may not be the best role model.  My daughter has Autism but you were never know now.   She is going to graduate from UT next year a year early.  In 4th grade this other girl kept bullying my daughter and she was also bullyng other kids in the class.  My daughter wasn't strong willed at the time and it really effected her.  She couldn't even understand what it was to be mean.  The other girl's mom worked for the school district and was a bitch about the entire thing.  The school "tried" to help but not really and they seemed to be afraid of her. 

After a meeting at the school I may or may not have threatened to slap the shit out of the mom and beat the shit out of the dad of the other girl (in the parking lot when no one else was around) if they didn't do something about their little shit head.  Magically things changed and the other parents would flee in my presence.     

 

13 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

As a fellow parent of a high functioning autistic kid, good on you.  

Same here, and agreed.

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1 hour ago, Fluoxetine HCl said:

I

This is good advice, but they also say they are being ganged up on. As for using sarcasm as a weapon, that would maybe work, but it’s easier to ask them to do than it is for them to accomplish. Heinrich is older, and can probably handle that (after some practice) but Adolf is very sensitive.

This is a better payoff than expected.  +rep to you.  

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Fucking hitby. Got me going until the Heinrich and Adolf part.

 

My school district is quick to kick kids out of school. There was a 4th grader who was having a bad day, kicked a ball at other kids' butts, faces, etc.

He was suspended and gone by the following Monday. Apparently he had been fairly well behaved until that one afternoon.

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3 hours ago, Samson's Wig said:

It sucks, given how completely fucked up school policies are regarding situations like this, but the old-school ways are sometimes still the best ones.  Teach your boys how to break someone's nose.  If they are slight of frame or just can't throw a punch, they're likely carrying around steel water bottles which will do the trick just as nicely.  One time is all it will take, and no one will fuck with them again.  Should be the oldest boy and then make sure word is spread that if anyone fucks with his brother, they'll get the same treatment.   It's not pretty, it's not progressive, and it will come with consequences.  But those consequence might be worth it depending on how badly this is fucking up your kids' mental health.

This is really bad advice. Trying to break a nose and assaulting a kid with a metal water bottle for saying mean things will probably result in the kid "defending" himself to be in very big trouble.

Nevermind, looks like you were joking and the OP was joking.

Edited by HamsterHookah
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The children know exactly who is the ring-leader, and who is wholeheartedly participating.  Go to principal and counselor and name names in writing.  Let them know you are serious.  Then when something boils over and someone throws a punch your prior involvement is noted in case there is some zero tolerance fuckery in place. 

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does your school not immediately go to mediated dispute resolution after the second time it happens?  it involves calling all student parties involved into a room and discussing what happened along with consequences.  i would (and have) also told my kids that when this happens and they decide to fight to not stop fighting until the other party can't fight back. 

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Children have to learn how to deal with adversity.  Life is full of issues, shitheads and other.  We all overcome problems every day.  There was a kid who was picking on our oldest during high school.  Eventually Dalton got fed up and clocked this MF.  Game over.  Punk had to learn how to deal with the fact he got his ass kicked in front of his posse.  Dalton had to learn how to accept that suddenly he was more popular.  If nothing else, teach 'em to stick their finger/thumb in the bully's eye.  They'll stop.

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Maybe if parents would quit inflicting ridiculous names on their children some of this shit might be avoided, although schools have always been nests of bullying.

In my dads family, the first son of the first son going back several generations is named George. A decent adult name, but a horrible child’s name as far as drawing ridicule. Every one of them went by their middle name. My mom said “it’s tradition!” I said some traditions can just stop.

Goofball names are a terrible burden on kids. Sorry your kids are getting harassed but they now have to deal with being called names because you and your wife wanted validation of your cleverness. Same with stupid unique spellings of common names. We go to various school events for the grandkids and the kids named crap like Hortensia, Percival, Tsar, and Loomis appear to have issues.

If the extent of this is name calling teach your kids to suck it up or come up with their own rebukes. A little Don Rickles can help. But if there’s no physical issues the school needs to be aware but do we really need to go to the school board? My smallish son got suspended in 6th grade for fighting. Wife told me to handle it. My son was in principal’s office and another kid twice my son’s size, was on the other side. That kid looked like he’d been in a car wreck. Principal said my son defended him myself and beat the shit out of the other kid; he said it was a Ralphie - Scott Farkus situation. District policy require both be suspended but he said it would never make it into my son’s file. They became good friends after that.

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Kids can be fucking assholes. And the school district sucks ass if their only solution is to use their middle names.  Also, I suspect coming from a homeschool (how long were they homeschooled?) background into a public school in mid-year was going to be rough, socially wise, to your kids.    It shouldn't be, but it is.  

 

2 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Children have to learn how to deal with adversity.  Life is full of issues, shitheads and other.  We all overcome problems every day.  There was a kid who was picking on our oldest during high school.  Eventually Dalton got fed up and clocked this MF.  Game over.  Punk had to learn how to deal with the fact he got his ass kicked in front of his posse.  Dalton had to learn how to accept that suddenly he was more popular.  If nothing else, teach 'em to stick their finger/thumb in the bully's eye.  They'll stop.

 

Dalton, you say?

p11668_k_v13_aa.jpg

 

Edited by Francisco 2.0
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