Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
25 minutes ago, Pancho said:

So apparently radical right wingers are preparing for the rapture to happen on Tuesday…

 

Excuse Me What GIF by Laff

Do you happen to know the time this is supppsed to happen? I'll be on a flight to Hawaii and I may need to ask the pilots their heathen status. 

  • Haha 2
Posted

RFK Jr. had said that they'd release their findings on what causes autism (lulz) in September. Well by golly, they did it! Just amazing, that he knew they could solve something so incredibly complex, and perhaps maybe even without a knowable answer, and knew the exact time frame in which it would happen. Science is incredible!

Posted (edited)

Well I think the world also catches on fire and becomes uninhabitable and everyone else gets transferred to Hades.  Sorta like Christmas.

Edited by SizzleChest
  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, SizzleChest said:

Well I think the world also catches on fire and becomes uninhabitable and everyone else gets transferred to Hades.  Sorta like Christmas.

We've been doing that in Texas for awhile now, so what's the catch?

Edited by HornOnTheBayou
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BrickHorn said:

I’m confused about the rapture. Is the idea that all the churchy types get Hoovered up into space paradise, leaving the rest of us poor schmucks to suffer the agony of a life devoid of the most judgmental, sanctimonious, and annoying motherfuckers among us?

Get Out No GIF

Ever tried to drive the little red rooster home, and then, suddenly, home is gone? I don’t think so.

Edited by Willfully Horn
Posted
1 hour ago, SizzleChest said:

Well I think the world also catches on fire and becomes uninhabitable and everyone else gets transferred to Hades.  Sorta like Christmas.

image.png.951690aaabbeb10ef8cffd71dd300b63.png

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
1 hour ago, mchookem said:

sorry, sometimes it still slips out 😒

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tenor(2).gif.b9707fe59967cfc737ece23f34334b48.gif

Nathan Fillion No GIF by ABC Network

Posted
12 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

90% of the country doesn't know anything about any of that.  And I don't know what EDVA is either.

I'm guessing Eastern District of Virginia. Some kerfuffle going on there but I don't know what it's all about.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
19 minutes ago, Walser said:

I'm guessing Eastern District of Virginia. Some kerfuffle going on there but I don't know what it's all about.

I think it's fired/no I resigned US Attorney down there.

Posted
17 hours ago, Pancho said:

So apparently radical right wingers are preparing for the rapture to happen on Tuesday…

 

Excuse Me What GIF by Laff

 

17 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

God promises to take all of them? I think I'm cool with that.

 

16 hours ago, Agent 13 said:

Do you happen to know the time this is supppsed to happen? I'll be on a flight to Hawaii and I may need to ask the pilots their heathen status. 

 

15 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

I’m confused about the rapture. Is the idea that all the churchy types get Hoovered up into space paradise, leaving the rest of us poor schmucks to suffer the agony of a life devoid of the most judgmental, sanctimonious, and annoying motherfuckers among us?

Get Out No GIF

 

Posted
2 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

My favorite part about the Rapture is telling people who believe in it that it's not in the Bible. 

Follow that up with the facts that:

1) the entire doctrine was invented by one dude in the 1830s, and 

2) it didn't acquire ANY real traction until the early 1900s when it was put into the Scofield Reference Bible.

I guarantee you that 99% of the same folks who believe in the "Rapture" also say they are "strict textualists" when it comes to both the bible and the Constitution, yet they base their modern "faith" on a concept that doesn't fucking exist in the text they claim to revere.

Dumbest.  Fucking.  Timeline.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
35 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Just dont ask for the tylenol, IT CAUSES AUTISM. 

Is this regular Tylenol or the Tylenol vaccine that causes Autism?  I have been told vaccines cause autism for years now by highly regarded scientists Jenny McCarthy and other geniuses who read it on the internet.

Posted
5 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

My favorite part about the Rapture is telling people who believe in it that it's not in the Bible. 

Are you kidding?  It's all right there in the Book of Revalation:

Toe to toe dancing very close
Body breathing almost comatose
Wall to wall people hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in rapture
Back to back sacroiliac
Spineless movement and a wild attack
Face to face sightless solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty four hour shopping in rapture
Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
DJ spinning I said "My My"
Flash is fast flash is cool
Francois c'est pas flashe non due
And you don't stop sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes the man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eating cars
You eat Cadillacs Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subaru
And you don't stop
You keep on eating cars
Then when there's no more cars you go out at night
And eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face
Dance cheek to cheek
One to one
Man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow 'cause the man from Mars is through with cars
He's eating bars
Yeah wall to wall
Door to door
Hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture
Be pure
Take a tour through the sewer
Don't strain your brain
Paint a train
You'll be singing in the rain
Said don't stop to the punk rock
Man to man, body muscular
Sismic decibel by the jugular
Wall to wall, tea time technology and a digital ladder
No sign of bad luck in rapture
Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars where the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space where he won't have a hassle with the
human race
And you hip hop
And you don't stop
Just blast off sure shot
Because the man from Mars stopped eating cars
And eating bars
And now he only eats guitars
Get up!

  • Hook 'Em 2
Posted
3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Follow that up with the facts that:

1) the entire doctrine was invented by one dude in the 1830s, and 

2) it didn't acquire ANY real traction until the early 1900s when it was put into the Scofield Reference Bible.

I guarantee you that 99% of the same folks who believe in the "Rapture" also say they are "strict textualists" when it comes to both the bible and the Constitution, yet they base their modern "faith" on a concept that doesn't fucking exist in the text they claim to revere.

Dumbest.  Fucking.  Timeline.

Your Rapture guy sucks.  Around the same time another guy invented a whole religion with magic underwear and everything and they control the state of Utah now.  The Rapture guy is definitely an under achiever compared to Joseph Smith. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
44 minutes ago, Walser said:

I'm guessing Eastern District of Virginia. Some kerfuffle going on there but I don't know what it's all about.

The US Atty there refused to charge Leticia James (the NY AG that prosecuted Trump) with a crime (after an investigation) so Trump fired him and replaced him with a toady

  • Rage+1 1
Posted
10 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Are you kidding?  It's all right there in the Book of Revalation:

Toe to toe dancing very close
Body breathing almost comatose
Wall to wall people hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in rapture
Back to back sacroiliac
Spineless movement and a wild attack
Face to face sightless solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty four hour shopping in rapture
Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
DJ spinning I said "My My"
Flash is fast flash is cool
Francois c'est pas flashe non due
And you don't stop sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes the man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eating cars
You eat Cadillacs Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subaru
And you don't stop
You keep on eating cars
Then when there's no more cars you go out at night
And eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face
Dance cheek to cheek
One to one
Man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow 'cause the man from Mars is through with cars
He's eating bars
Yeah wall to wall
Door to door
Hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture
Be pure
Take a tour through the sewer
Don't strain your brain
Paint a train
You'll be singing in the rain
Said don't stop to the punk rock
Man to man, body muscular
Sismic decibel by the jugular
Wall to wall, tea time technology and a digital ladder
No sign of bad luck in rapture
Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars where the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space where he won't have a hassle with the
human race
And you hip hop
And you don't stop
Just blast off sure shot
Because the man from Mars stopped eating cars
And eating bars
And now he only eats guitars
Get up!

IMG_5239.jpeg.8d82eaca1a0aa95cbb20176cfa7bc612.jpeg

  • Drool 3
Posted
11 minutes ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

Is this regular Tylenol or the Tylenol vaccine that causes Autism?  I have been told vaccines cause autism for years now by highly regarded scientists Jenny McCarthy and other geniuses who read it on the internet.

that Jenny McCarthy had great tits.

Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

My favorite part about the Rapture is telling people who believe in it that it's not in the Bible. 

Shouldn’t they know that?

eta: the church down the street from us, on their signage space had a banner printed that says “the revelation is almost here” or something. I should take a pic. It is so important to them that they didn’t just write it on their sign board, they had it printed on a tarp. 
 

usually that space has some cutesy thing like “open on Sundays” or advertising their upcoming lawn showing of a Disney movie so that they can lure kids and families in.  

Edited by Pato del Muerto


×
×
  • Create New...