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Conclave 2025: All of the Smoke, None of the Brisket


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Posted
14 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Make sure to tell all of your boomer parents and relatives that the "Conclave" movie on Amazon Prime is an inside look at the selection process and is the closest they will get to seeing the real deal.

image.gif.74ad58f8d6eaab4fe5a46935485a4537.gif

Posted

I might be persuaded to abandon my Presbyterian faith, but I’m going to have to see some solid evidence of 1) a return to the sale of indulgences - and  2) a lowering of the indulgence price for dispensation of certain sins. 

If they don’t do that, I’m going to ask our president to put a tariff on KOC Friday seafood dinners. 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, seven said:

It's pretty good though. 

True. 

 

4 minutes ago, Dewey said:

They use Goodyear or Firestone for the black smoke? 

Smoke canisters in the movie.  I hope that’s not accurate and they still do it the traditional way. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The movie is not, presumably like an actual conclave.  

Except it is 

Real-Life Conclave Rivals Drama of Movie Version

Infighting, smear campaigns, papal letters from beyond the grave: The conclave is giving the film a run for its money.

https://www.wsj.com/world/europe/papal-conclave-movie-cardinals-parolin-tagle-93fff546?st=ihcnMN&reflink=article_copyURL_share

 

For those not following, one of the front runners produced two letters from
Francis stating that the cardinal sentenced to 5 yrs in prison for embezzlement (and who decided he still had the right vote for the next pope) shouldn’t be allowed in the proceedings. 
 

there’s also this which certainly belongs in the “deleted scenes” category:

The Italian daily Corriere della Sera reported that one cardinal staying in the Vatican’s guesthouse, the Domus Sanctae Marthae, didn’t realize that the tiny liquor bottles in his room’s minibar weren’t free. After finishing all of the bottles with a group of colleagues, he found them on his bill. “He was a bit upset,” the daily reported.

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Posted
2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

True. 

 

Smoke canisters in the movie.  I hope that’s not accurate and they still do it the traditional way. 

“If they don’t meet a two-thirds majority, the ballots are burned with straw and chemical additives, creating a black smoke that rises from a chimney erected in a corner of the chapel signaling a pope has not been chosen.”


“Once the two-thirds majority is met, a new pope has been elected. The ballots are burned with dry straw and chemical additives to make white smoke rise from the chapel’s chimney.”

https://www.wsj.com/world/europe/conclave-pope-cardinals-explained-e1f76150?st=VzaCg6&reflink=article_copyURL_share

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Posted
3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The movie is not, presumably like an actual conclave.  

What do you mean? A bunch of old men get in a room and back stab each other in order to win the top job. That’s exactly what happens. 

Posted
18 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

What do you mean? A bunch of old men get in a room and butt fuck alter boys in order to win the top job. That’s exactly what happens. 

 

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, smuggs said:

Holding out for Pope Pizzaballa I. Would be hilarious to have a Pope Pizzaballa IV in the year 2154.

Do us a solid, Catholics.

 

I was being glib and didn’t realize this was a real guy (not a Cornballer). He must be the favorite for the name alone.

Edited by TheStoicPaisano
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Posted
10 hours ago, smuggs said:

Holding out for Pope Pizzaballa I. Would be hilarious to have a Pope Pizzaballa IV in the year 2154.

Do us a solid, Catholics.

 

Pizzaballa was +1250 earlier in the week, but they removed the futures at my book this morning. Odds are back up this afternoon and our boy is +650. Steam play, imo....

image.png.97355160b97672e6909e1833916f4253.png

it's happening GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

 

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Posted
34 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

I was being glib and didn’t realize this was a real guy (not a Cornballer). He must be the favorite for the name alone.

 

IMG_5470.png

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Posted
23 hours ago, smuggs said:

Holding out for Pope Pizzaballa I. Would be hilarious to have a Pope Pizzaballa IV in the year 2154.

Do us a solid, Catholics.

 

 

13 hours ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

I was being glib and didn’t realize this was a real guy (not a Cornballer). He must be the favorite for the name alone.

 

12 hours ago, Blotto said:

Pizzaballa was +1250 earlier in the week, but they removed the futures at my book this morning. Odds are back up this afternoon and our boy is +650. Steam play, imo....

image.png.97355160b97672e6909e1833916f4253.png

I am hoping that if Pizzaballa is elected he chooses Pepperoni I as his Pope name.

I mean who wouldn't like Pope Pepperoni Pizzaballa?

  • Haha 1
Posted
15 hours ago, Kel Varnsen said:

Pope Pizzaballa fits this timeline

It would open the door to the following pope being Pope Cornballa.

rg3.webp.9dd6495e956918ecd4e0f3f94640c64d.webp

Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

Who Dis?

Someone who will still say being gay is a sin, that women are incapable of leadership, and will do nothing about the bishops in Oklahoma supporting theocracy through abolition of the separation of church and state. I just hope it's not someone who follows the trend of asshole nth-degree facist leaders.

Edited by 'stache
Posted
2 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Someone who will still say being gay is a sin, that women are incapable of leadership, and will do nothing about the bishops in Oklahoma supporting theocracy through abolition of the separation of church and state. I just hope it's not someone who follows the trend of asshole facist leaders.

I feel like if it was this fast, Francis's liberal appointees would have dragged it out longer than that.

Posted
Just now, chainsaw said:

I feel like if it was this fast, Francis's liberal appointees would have dragged it out longer than that.

Yeah, same.  I don't think it's going to be someone who will whiplash away from Francis' policies

Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, Js1 said:

New Pope chosen: White smoke billows from Sistine Chapel as ...

Random gif or do we have a winner?

nm I see the tweet above. 
 

also the Stallone joke doesn’t work because the last guy was Frank. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

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