Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
On 5/31/2025 at 11:16 PM, InkaUtexas said:

misplacing your glasses.

 

On 6/1/2025 at 11:48 AM, Superhero said:

He asked my if I see his glass which fell under his seat. Maybe I’ll step on them on purpose I get off. 

Lol

  • Haha 2
Posted
14 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

Door to door solicitors.

Hate those fucks.

I even have a goddamn sign right next to the fucking doorbell that reads no soliciting, door hangers, political blah blah, etc. You can't miss it. Yet, on occasion, some dumb fuck will ring the bell like my wishes don't apply to them.

Tonight, damn near 8 o'clock, and what? Yep. Some dumb fucker pinging my doorbell. Fucking cocksucker.

I had a simple No Soliciting sign that worked probably 95% of the time, but up to 100% since I upgraded to this (a version like it anyway). 
 

image.jpeg.978abb5af07a9cb495d4814aa77da0a7.jpeg

 

Fucking UPS still knocks or ring the bell though. They’re the only ones. 

Posted

UPS, etc I’m ok with showing up. 

Random fucksticks, no.

Sign works 99% of the time. Love getting a motion alert, just to click on it and watch them walking away.

Some you see read it, think about it real hard, then walk away.

But from time to time, one of those fucks have to push their luck. In turn, they get an ear full. 

  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted
1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

I had a simple No Soliciting sign that worked probably 95% of the time, but up to 100% since I upgraded to this (a version like it anyway). 
 

image.jpeg.978abb5af07a9cb495d4814aa77da0a7.jpeg

 

Fucking UPS still knocks or ring the bell though. They’re the only ones. 

How is UPS dropping off a package soliciting?

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Like 2
Posted
33 minutes ago, Wiler77 said:

How is UPS dropping off a package soliciting?

It’s not, I just don’t want them ringing the bell. Amazon doesn’t do it, FedEx doesn’t do it. Just UPS. 

Posted

If your currency is issued in coins, and the coins arent physically sized according to their value, your currency is dumb. 
 

And the retardedness of the GBP is that their coins literally don’t have numbers on them. Its only written out, like “twenty pence”

Posted
14 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

UPS, etc I’m ok with showing up. 

Random fucksticks, no.

Sign works 99% of the time. Love getting a motion alert, just to click on it and watch them walking away.

Some you see read it, think about it real hard, then walk away.

But from time to time, one of those fucks have to push their luck. In turn, they get an ear full. 

Do what I do….

Don’t answer the door.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Posted
18 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

It’s not, I just don’t want them ringing the bell. Amazon doesn’t do it, FedEx doesn’t do it. Just UPS. 

I bet it has something to do with reducing the rate of stolen packages due to porch pirates.

Ring the bell, have the people inside come get their package. Transaction complete and everybody's happy.

If I was a driver, I wouldn't think twice about your sign if that was our policy. I'm alerting you to something I dropped off on your porch---I'm not selling you anything.

But if I knew it irritated you, I'd ring it 10 times and run:) That's just me going the extra mile

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 3
  • Haha 3
  • Rage+1 1
  • Drool 1
Posted

Buddy’s daughter owns a tanning salon.  So like a good friend, of course I follow the businesses FB page to help her business.  I’m practically a FB influencer.  Anyways , I clicked on a few posts and pics, again to help her out, over the course of May.  Well, she posts something about her top ten engagers and I’m #1 by a longshot!   Now I look like a perv!!

  • Haha 4
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted
1 hour ago, Im_smarter_then_you said:

Buddy’s daughter owns a tanning salon.  So like a good friend, of course I follow the businesses FB page to help her business.  I’m practically a FB influencer.  Anyways , I clicked on a few posts and pics, again to help her out, over the course of May.  Well, she posts something about her top ten engagers and I’m #1 by a longshot!   Now I'm known as the perv I am!!

FIFY

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
On 6/3/2025 at 9:43 PM, Im_smarter_then_you said:

Buddy’s daughter owns a tanning salon.  So like a good friend, of course I follow the businesses FB page to help her business.  I’m practically a FB influencer.  Anyways , I clicked on a few posts and pics, again to help her out, over the course of May.  Well, she posts something about her top ten engagers and I’m #1 by a longshot!   Now I look like a perv!!

First sentence was a Penthouse Forum-quality opening line; remainder an epic fail…

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
On 6/3/2025 at 4:24 AM, 52-80 said:

If your currency is issued in coins, and the coins arent physically sized according to their value, your currency is dumb. 
 

And the retardedness of the GBP is that their coins literally don’t have numbers on them. Its only written out, like “twenty pence”

Yeah, fuck dimes.

  • Haha 1
Posted

At the beach yesterday and 3 absolutely drop dead gorgeous blondes show up, perfect tans and wearing butt floss.

My wife knew exactly I’d be looking and turned to me making sure I didn’t take pics to share with you pervs. 

Posted
On 6/5/2025 at 11:27 PM, InkaUtexas said:

Yeah, fuck dimes.

You say that.  Just wait till you're at the toll booth...

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted

Parents/family/fans that don’t on their half of the soccer field. Why is it so hard to get across from your team? Especially at the select/club level. You should fucking know.

Posted

When the dental floss breaks exactly in half before I’m done with flossing, and neither broken half is long enough to wrap around my fingers and complete the job, so I have to take another span of floss from the roll.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
6 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

#teamflosspick

I ran out of picks the other day and had to use regular floss and I may as well have rode a horse to work down 71. Just awful.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Posted
On 6/6/2025 at 2:39 PM, Superhero said:

At the beach yesterday and 3 absolutely drop dead gorgeous blondes show up, perfect tans and wearing butt floss.

My wife knew exactly I’d be looking and turned to me making sure I didn’t take pics to share with you pervs. 

Your wife seems like she sucks.

Posted

Bitched about this before, and I'm sure I'll keep bitching until the day they take my license...

 

When I change lanes, I get a good distance in front of the car on the next lane, turn on my blinkers for at least 5 seconds before I move over. And inevitably there will be someone who left a gap, and then try to accelerate and close the gap, then lay on the horn like I fucked their sister.

Usually it's a smaller car and IDGAF because I have a larger SUV. But still really annoying.

Posted
9 hours ago, Not that Bob said:

Repairing a sprinkler head in rocky soil. 

I've gotta replace a sticking / leaking sprinkler valve, and it's located about 9 inches from the main trunk of a decent bush.  Digging down a foot with a screwdriver and loppers to knock out the roots, all while trying to preserve the bush itself is NOT a good time.  Not to mention it took me 2 months to get this stupid valve located.

(We bought the house a few years ago, and the survey didn't have any of the sprinkler system details on it, and we couldn't locate 2 of the 4 zone valves.  I've since located the other missing valves.)

Posted

Condescending IT cunts who can't fathom that you've done everything correctly, yet there might be a bug in their system.

Yesterday, I'm trying to download some documents from a vendor site that I need for clients.  Couple of them DL no problem, then I go to another section for the others (this is another bitch altogether - the vendor used to email you 1 pdf that included the entire set of docs, and now they are piecemealed all over their site and it takes 20 DL to get the full set), and get an error message.  OK cool - hit the support button and email in w/ my issue, asking them to email me the documents I can't DL.  Get an email today saying they don't see anything on their end, and I need to log out of VPN, clear cookies, etc.  I do all of that, reboot my computer just to make sure it's all reset, and still no joy.  Reply saying the issue persists and ask for them to please email me the documents.

Get a call from one of their IT guys offering to help, so we start going through the suggestions and it's clear he thinks I'm the dumbass and his system is infallible - mind you, this website was re-done like 3 months ago and while it looks flashier and shinier than the previous version, it takes forever which = sucks, afaic.  He asks if I can DL the docs on Edge or FF, and I tell him I don't know, because I don't use those.  He says he's just trying to help me get what I need and I remind him that since I don't use those browsers, this isn't a solution.  As I'm trying to log in via Edge, the password won't work and he's being condescending again, saying i must have fatfingered the PW, and when I say it's C/P, he basically says I'm C/P'ing the asterisks, not the actual PW...even though I'm C/Ping the actual PW, because I can P it into a .txt file just fine. 

As I'm about at the end of my rope w/ this prick, he has a moment of clarity and tells me that now that he's digging into it a little more, it seems they did a system reboot of some kind recently and my account and some others didn't get something or other so he is going to have to delete my account and I'll have to start over in a couple of hours.  Fucking shitbreath son of a bitch.

  • Rage+1 4
Posted
33 minutes ago, Mittens said:

Condescending IT cunts who can't fathom that you've done everything correctly, yet there might be a bug in their system.

Yesterday, I'm trying to download some documents from a vendor site that I need for clients.  Couple of them DL no problem, then I go to another section for the others (this is another bitch altogether - the vendor used to email you 1 pdf that included the entire set of docs, and now they are piecemealed all over their site and it takes 20 DL to get the full set), and get an error message.  OK cool - hit the support button and email in w/ my issue, asking them to email me the documents I can't DL.  Get an email today saying they don't see anything on their end, and I need to log out of VPN, clear cookies, etc.  I do all of that, reboot my computer just to make sure it's all reset, and still no joy.  Reply saying the issue persists and ask for them to please email me the documents.

Get a call from one of their IT guys offering to help, so we start going through the suggestions and it's clear he thinks I'm the dumbass and his system is infallible - mind you, this website was re-done like 3 months ago and while it looks flashier and shinier than the previous version, it takes forever which = sucks, afaic.  He asks if I can DL the docs on Edge or FF, and I tell him I don't know, because I don't use those.  He says he's just trying to help me get what I need and I remind him that since I don't use those browsers, this isn't a solution.  As I'm trying to log in via Edge, the password won't work and he's being condescending again, saying i must have fatfingered the PW, and when I say it's C/P, he basically says I'm C/P'ing the asterisks, not the actual PW...even though I'm C/Ping the actual PW, because I can P it into a .txt file just fine. 

As I'm about at the end of my rope w/ this prick, he has a moment of clarity and tells me that now that he's digging into it a little more, it seems they did a system reboot of some kind recently and my account and some others didn't get something or other so he is going to have to delete my account and I'll have to start over in a couple of hours.  Fucking shitbreath son of a bitch.

PEBKAC, but in this case on the other end.

Which is funny.  I had this real prick call in earlier and he was pissed he couldn't download the last 6 months of his OnlyFan receipts in PDF format.  I asked him if he tried using Edge or Firefox, and he was just being a complete asshole.  I pretended to try a few things on the back end, but I was really just playing video games while I held him on the line for 30 minutes.  I then told him his account was accidentally purged, and we'd have to create him a new account.  He was mad enough he finally got the hint and hung up!

Posted
On 6/3/2025 at 8:43 PM, Im_smarter_then_you said:

Buddy’s daughter owns a tanning salon.  So like a good friend, of course I follow the businesses FB page to help her business.  I’m practically a FB influencer.  Anyways , I clicked on a few posts and pics, again to help her out, over the course of May.  Well, she posts something about her top ten engagers and I’m #1 by a longshot!   Now I look like a perv!!

"Look like"

Marvel Studios Smile GIF by Disney+

  • Rage+1 1

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...