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Lauren Boobert - Tits and a Gun

MoJames

By MoJames
in Cloak Room

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NSIAP...    

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Jesus, where does she think she is? The Sun Bowl?

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https://clk.texasperformingarts.org/e/es?s=513058&e=44760&elqTrackId=efd74c1a1b7a40299e524d6e5aa03bea&elq=de6833fc05cd42cbb77f04c3c530c92c&elqaid=1162&elqat=1

Seats next to Boebert here in Austin are available "69DAYO" is the presale code.  Oh wait, just "6DAYO"  But you get the idea.  

I loved the movie but I don't go in for musicals.  But yeah, I probably am going to this.  With my wife.  And some lotion.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 88750

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Boebert: “You are allowing delinquent employees to sit on their sofas at home instead of actually getting to work and doing their jobs”

SS Official: “Our employees are working whether they’re in the office or at home.”

Boebert: “Are you monitoring the work that they are doing from home on a regular basis?”

SS official: “Yes we are.”

Boebert: “Every employee? Do you have the numbers?

SS official: “We have systems in place to schedule, assign and track workloads…Real time understanding of what actions are being processed at any given time. Additionally, our employees are required to be accessible to their supervisors, clients, colleagues and external parties during work hours via a variety of different means”

Boebert: “Then why has the backlog for social security backlogs increased?”

SS official: “Because we’ve been historically underfunded.”

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7612

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20 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Boebert: “You are allowing delinquent employees to sit on their sofas at home instead of actually getting to work and doing their jobs”

SS Official: “Our employees are working whether they’re in the office or at home.”

Boebert: “Are you monitoring the work that they are doing from home on a regular basis?”

SS official: “Yes we are.”

Boebert: “Every employee? Do you have the numbers?

SS official: “We have systems in place to schedule, assign and track workloads…Real time understanding of what actions are being processed at any given time. Additionally, our employees are required to be accessible to their supervisors, clients, colleagues and external parties during work hours via a variety of different means”

Boebert: “Then why has the backlog for social security backlogs increased?”

SS official: “Because we’ve been historically underfunded.”

Joke's on him.  She doesn't know what that last word even means.

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Chad Fuck

Chad Fuck 17259

Posted
Posted
Boebert: “You are allowing delinquent employees to sit on their sofas at home instead of actually getting to work and doing their jobs”
SS Official: “Our employees are working whether they’re in the office or at home.”
Boebert: “Are you monitoring the work that they are doing from home on a regular basis?”
SS official: “Yes we are.”
Boebert: “Every employee? Do you have the numbers?
SS official: “We have systems in place to schedule, assign and track workloads…Real time understanding of what actions are being processed at any given time. Additionally, our employees are required to be accessible to their supervisors, clients, colleagues and external parties during work hours via a variety of different means”
Boebert: “Then why has the backlog for social security backlogs increased?”
SS official: “Because we’ve been historically underfunded.”

All questions she could’ve got the answers to from SSA very easily on her own but that wouldn’t have set up a (non) gotcha moment for the show.

Dumber than a fucking rock.
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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 33957

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Well, Representative, let me frame it in this way.  If you’re at a theatre, and your date wants a handjob, then you’re over resourced.  You can use one hand to yank his crank, and another hand to vape, or to shush people who ask you to stop stroking pole at a community musical.

But now what if the guy on the other side wants an old-fashioned? Now, you’re properly resourced. Two hands to fulfill your core function of distributing rub and tugs in aisle 5. But secondary duties like cradling balls—-those go away. 
 

But now what if you’re presented with a third dong to stimulate during Act III?  Now you’re under resourced for the task at hand. At least one shaft will have to go unmassaged as you try to keep up with the demand to manually get those members to climax before the house lights come on, or before a volunteer usher has to ask you to leave while you drunkenly ask if everyone knows who you are.

And so even though you’re still resourced with two hands—at 2023 Beetlejuice levels—- you’re going to end up with a backlog of seminal fluid and an unhappy nightclub owner with serious case of blue balls.  And he might even write a letter of complaint to his representative. 
 

It’s a simple math problem, Madam Representative.

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Bullneck

Bullneck 18617

Posted
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2 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

What if older people got paid to give handjobs?

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You can get Social Security retirement benefits and work at the same time. However, if you are younger than full retirement age and make more than the yearly earnings limit, we will reduce your benefit. Starting with the month you reach full retirement age, we will not reduce your benefits no matter how much you earn.

 

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19192

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Macanudo said:

What if older people got paid to give handjobs?

I wonder what percentage of men on Social Security would drop dead from a heart attack while getting a tits out handjob from Boobert. Maybe throw in a little dirty talk for good measure. She could single handedly save social security. 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 25767

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I wonder what percentage of men on Social Security would drop dead from a heart attack while getting a tits out handjob from Boobert. Maybe throw in a little dirty talk for good measure. She could single handedly save social security. 

My Doc told me to avoid salt. He didn't say shit about whores.

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11538

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I wonder what percentage of men on Social Security would drop dead from a heart attack while getting a tits out handjob from Boobert. Maybe throw in a little dirty talk for good measure. She could single handedly save social security. 

Yeah but best to use two hands to get the job done quicker.

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Kel Varnsen

Kel Varnsen 8242

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Well, Representative, let me frame it in this way.  If you’re at a theatre, and your date wants a handjob, then you’re over resourced.  You can use one hand to yank his crank, and another hand to vape, or to shush people who ask you to stop stroking pole at a community musical.

But now what if the guy on the other side wants an old-fashioned? Now, you’re properly resourced. Two hands to fulfill your core function of distributing rub and tugs in aisle 5. But secondary duties like cradling balls—-those go away. 
 

But now what if you’re presented with a third dong to stimulate during Act III?  Now you’re under resourced for the task at hand. At least one shaft will have to go unmassaged as you try to keep up with the demand to manually get those members to climax before the house lights come on, or before a volunteer usher has to ask you to leave while you drunkenly ask if everyone knows who you are.

And so even though you’re still resourced with two hands—at 2023 Beetlejuice levels—- you’re going to end up with a backlog of seminal fluid and an unhappy nightclub owner with serious case of blue balls.  And he might even write a letter of complaint to his representative. 
 

It’s a simple math problem, Madam Representative.

 

 

X4VWgaE.gif

Edited by Kel Varnsen
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Bullneck

Bullneck 18617

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I wonder what percentage of men on Social Security would drop dead from a heart attack while getting a tits out handjob from Boobert. Maybe throw in a little dirty talk for good measure. She could single handedly save social security. 

I would sign up for this, but I've heard there is quite a backlog.

Spoiler

 

 

 

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