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Y'all Gonna Watch the Fox Nation Patriot Awards Tonight? Sponsored by Golden Corral


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Golden Corral reminds me of a story about Voltaire. His buddies talked him into attending an orgy, and the next day he said he'd had a wonderful time and learned many new things. So they told him about the next one and assumed he'd be all fired up to go.

"Non mes amis," he said. "A man may attend an orgy once as a philosopher. Twice -- he becomes a pervert."

I think I'd been to a Golden Corral in college, and just as with orgies, that can be written off as the folly of youth. Not so my last trip -- only a year or two back, I was in a motel on the Seawall with one adjacent, and I willed myself into trying it stone cold sober and in a town with many better options. It was time to learn a lesson. 

It was horrible. I am not superpicky and love competently prepared home cookin' but it was just terrible in every way. And it ain't cheap -- I was stunned I had to pay $20 for that hog slop.

It did give me an idea for cooking show -- challenge the world's best chefs to assemble something edible from Golden Corral's steam tables and salad bar. 

So -- philosophy of a sort. But never again.

 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator
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14 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Roller grill hot dogs are the bare minimum a town / village / hamlet must have if it is to be said to have a "dining scene." Hunt Bros is the next step up. 

You ignoring the fine dining options at Allsups?

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59 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

 

It was horrible. I am not superpicky and love competently prepared home cookin' but it was just terrible in every way. And it ain't cheap -- I was stunned I had to pay $20 for that hog slop.

I sometimes think this whole MAGA/Qanon grift was inspired by places like Golden Corral.  By that I mean...they do a fascinating job of this "Aw shucks, just simple and hearty food for simple and hearty folk...and all done with a smile and respect for your budget" marking bullshit.  And then it's $20/person for people (with tax and tip) who can't afford to spend $100 for a family of four to eat out (assuming drinks and fuel).  But they can't build those things in Exurb America fast enough.  And somebody saw that and thought, "If they can convince those idiots that $20 for prison-grade cafeteria food is a great deal, we can do so much more..."

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22 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I sometimes think this whole MAGA/Qanon grift was inspired by places like Golden Corral.  By that I mean...they do a fascinating job of this "Aw shucks, just simple and hearty food for simple and hearty folk...and all done with a smile and respect for your budget" marking bullshit.  And then it's $20/person for people (with tax and tip) who can't afford to spend $100 for a family of four to eat out (assuming drinks and fuel).  But they can't build those things in Exurb America fast enough.  And somebody saw that and thought, "If they can convince those idiots that $20 for prison-grade cafeteria food is a great deal, we can do so much more..."

In retrospect it's telling they make you pay up front and have prominent "NO REFUNDS" signs.

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21 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I will confess that every time I stop at the Stripes^H^H^H^H^H^H^H7-11 between Wimberley and San Marcos, I either buy a cup of those mini-tacos or curse them for not having any.  

Mini_Tacos_1800X1800_transparent.png

I'm trying to calculate how long those would take from time of ingestion to time of excretion.  I think it's measured in minutes as opposed to hours.  Still...would slam.

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I remember when Golden Corral was not the crazy buffet thing it is now.  I couldn't honestly tell you if it was crap or not.  I would guess based on what the chain became that it was crap, but High School small town Texas me didn't have much discernment in the way of "good food."   Back then our favorite lunch was seeing how much Mr. Gatti's pizza and soda we could cram down our gullets during our 35 minute lunch breaks.

I also thought Bennigan's was a fancy restaurant. 

Edited by MC Fresh Breath
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6 minutes ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

I remember when Golden Corral was not the crazy buffet thing it is now.  I couldn't honestly tell you if it was crap or not.  I would guess based on what the chain became that it was crap, but High School small town Texas me didn't have much discernment in the way of "good food."   Back then our favorite lunch was seeing how much Mr. Gatti's pizza and soda we could cram down our gullets during our 35 minute lunch breaks.

I also thought Bennigan's was a fancy restaurant. 

Pancho's Buffet with the sopapillas at the end.   

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But Steak & Ale had the decency to market themselves as an upscale chain.  They were going to sell you a more affluent meal and charge you more for the privilege.  

Golden Corral pretends they're for the hard working, decent American family.  And while it's not nearly as expensive as Steak & Ale was back in the day, again...$20 per person is not the "value oriented" bullshit they proclaim in their marketing campaign.  What's more, their margins are insanely high for their market niche because they pay so little for their food to begin with.  They literally take what U.S. Foods and Ben E. Keith have to offer after they've delivered to local schools and incarceration facilities.  

Golden Corral is literally the Donald Trump of restaurants.  It's a match made in heaven.  

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1 hour ago, shakahorn said:

I'm trying to calculate how long those would take from time of ingestion to time of excretion.  I think it's measured in minutes as opposed to hours.  Still...would slam.

I can tell you that it's over 15 minutes, because I've never shit my pants in the car before.

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1 hour ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

I remember when Golden Corral was not the crazy buffet thing it is now.  I couldn't honestly tell you if it was crap or not.  I would guess based on what the chain became that it was crap, but High School small town Texas me didn't have much discernment in the way of "good food."   Back then our favorite lunch was seeing how much Mr. Gatti's pizza and soda we could cram down our gullets during our 35 minute lunch breaks.

I also thought Bennigan's was a fancy restaurant. 

Golden Corral was no Pancho's, that's for sure.

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For the Boomers in Dallas - your greatest contribution to culture (after making shiny shirts look cringe. Thank you for your sacrifice to fashion overkill.)

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Edited by washparkhorn
I went to the second original on a date way back when. Young and dumb, but with a brunette with the sweetest eyes. So, thank you boomers.
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2 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

By "about $10" they mean $13 and then a tea is another $3.75 and add tax. 

And the waitress took your drink order, brought your drinks, and bussed your plates so you are expected to tip her a couple of bucks. 
 

HOWEVER

i could easily consume $20 worth of their fresh rolls and honey butter.  When that bell would ring, I was up and on the move. 

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12 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Golden Corral reminds me of a story about Voltaire. His buddies talked him into attending an orgy, and the next day he said he'd had a wonderful time and learned many new things. So they told him about the next one and assumed he'd be all fired up to go.

"Non mes amis," he said. "A man may attend an orgy once as a philosopher. Twice -- he becomes a pervert."

I think I'd been to a Golden Corral in college, and just as with orgies, that can be written off as the folly of youth. Not so my last trip -- only a year or two back, I was in a motel on the Seawall with one adjacent, and I willed myself into trying it stone cold sober and in a town with many better options. It was time to learn a lesson. 

It was horrible. I am not superpicky and love competently prepared home cookin' but it was just terrible in every way. And it ain't cheap -- I was stunned I had to pay $20 for that hog slop.

It did give me an idea for cooking show -- challenge the world's best chefs to assemble something edible from Golden Corral's steam tables and salad bar. 

So -- philosophy of a sort. But never again.

 

It's easily in the top three or four worst restaurants I've ever eaten in my entire life. I was in Midland or Abilene and covering a HS regional basketball or volleyball tournament back in the late 90's/early 00's and the the photographer who was out there with me picked it for us to eat dinner one night before heading back to the arena. It was god awful in every way -- food, ambiance and clientele. I'm not sure we had a whole lot better options seeing as we might've been in Abilene but we could've definitely done better than that. Fuck you, Ricky.

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13 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Pancho's Buffet with the sopapillas at the end.   

 

12 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Golden Corral was no Pancho's, that's for sure.

Surly, I’ve dined at Panchos. I’ve raised the flag at Panchos. I grew up eating Panchos. Panchos was a favorite of mine. Surly, Golden coral is no Panchos.

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I couldn’t imagine setting out to eat at Golden Corral. Besides I do everything I can to avoid buffets. The food is almost always shit and I actually don’t want to stuff 2 meals into my stomach.

It wasn’t a Golden Corral but I found myself waiting in line at a similar restaurant in terms of quality of food. Maybe 15 years ago. After about 10 minutes of watching the people in front of me, I lost my entire appetite and left.

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16 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Ahhh, Steak & Ale.  I thought that was dining at its finest, when I was a kid. 

me too. their salad bar was legit. also if you got the shrimp pilaf, they brought melted butter heated with a candle. squeeze some lemon in that....man, that was 12 year old heaven

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that is pretty crazy.  I've always thought it was complete bullshit that iced tea cost as much as a soda at a restaurant.  It literally costs about 1/3rd the price to the restaurant per cup of tea than per cup of soda.  And the margin gets wider as people get more refills. Granted there's the cost of the lemons/limes, but surely in bulk it can't be that bad.  

Every restaurant takes the time to list out the price of every single, individual type of coffee drink, every brand of beer, every glass of wine, every dessert drink/shake, etc.  Because each one has their own wholesale cost and prep cost (a 7-step coffee drink should cost more than my grab-n-go drip coffee)...but then it just says, "Tea & Soda...$2.49"  WTF?  

It's the MAGA of beverage pricing.  I don't know how yet, we'll have to get to Steve Bannon first.

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6 minutes ago, Lobo said:

that is pretty crazy.  I've always thought it was complete bullshit that iced tea cost as much as a soda at a restaurant.  It literally costs about 1/3rd the price to the restaurant per cup of tea than per cup of soda.  And the margin gets wider as people get more refills. Granted there's the cost of the lemons/limes, but surely in bulk it can't be that bad.  

 

 

 Do you even corn subsidies bro?

 

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13 minutes ago, Lobo said:

that is pretty crazy.  I've always thought it was complete bullshit that iced tea cost as much as a soda at a restaurant.  It literally costs about 1/3rd the price to the restaurant per cup of tea than per cup of soda.  And the margin gets wider as people get more refills. Granted there's the cost of the lemons/limes, but surely in bulk it can't be that bad.  

Every restaurant takes the time to list out the price of every single, individual type of coffee drink, every brand of beer, every glass of wine, every dessert drink/shake, etc.  Because each one has their own wholesale cost and prep cost (a 7-step coffee drink should cost more than my grab-n-go drip coffee)...but then it just says, "Tea & Soda...$2.49"  WTF?  

It's the MAGA of beverage pricing.  I don't know how yet, we'll have to get to Steve Bannon first.

What restaurant charges extra for refills of iced tea? It's a flat price for iced tea and refills pretty much anywhere I can think of, so how does the margin get wider as you consume more?

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36 minutes ago, VRHorn said:

This thread is like every other game thread where nobody ever posts the score of the game.

We must know - who actually won awards????

Trump, Don Jr, Eric and Ivanka.  Jared Kushner took home the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award. 

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I will add this: Pancho's is just as glorious as it's even been. I had to run to Arlington last month to Summit Racing and was delighted to see a Pancho's a couple miles down the road. Felt like going back in a time machine for me. Eveything was exactly as I remembered it since I last ate Pancho's 20+ years ago.

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14 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

I will add this: Pancho's is just as glorious as it's even been. I had to run to Arlington last month to Summit Racing and was delighted to see a Pancho's a couple miles down the road. Felt like going back in a time machine for me. Eveything was exactly as I remembered it since I last ate Pancho's 20+ years ago.

Was the explosive diarrhea 30-45 minutes also nostalgic?

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6 hours ago, Blotto said:

What restaurant charges extra for refills of iced tea? It's a flat price for iced tea and refills pretty much anywhere I can think of, so how does the margin get wider as you consume more?

Bill Miller.

 

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I haven't been to a Golden Corral since the 90's. There was one time a few of us went there right after smoking some hydro a friend picked up in San Marcos. We had just sat down when the waitress walks up and asks about drinks. None of us answer and just stare at her until we all bust out laughing talking about being so high that she sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown.

After more laughing and talking about being high we notice she is still standing at our table. Everyone gets quite and she says she will be right back.

Panic sets in and we are positive she is calling the cops so we bolt without ever eating anything in the place.

 

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14 hours ago, C-Man said:

It's easily in the top three or four worst restaurants I've ever eaten in my entire life. I was in Midland or Abilene and covering a HS regional basketball or volleyball tournament back in the late 90's/early 00's and the the photographer who was out there with me picked it for us to eat dinner one night before heading back to the arena. It was god awful in every way -- food, ambiance and clientele. I'm not sure we had a whole lot better options seeing as we might've been in Abilene but we could've definitely done better than that. Fuck you, Ricky.

In Abilene, before Joe and Sharon Allen divorced and went crazy, Joe Allen’s BBQ slammed. Ignore the BBQ and go straight for the 1.5 or 2 inch ribeye. 
 

There was also a Joe’s Italian out on the south side that was actually run by Albanians. Stromboli was A+.
 

Or really the garbage bins outside of the Hardin-Simmons cafeteria would be better than Golden Corral. 

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