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Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread


GhostOfTomJoad

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9 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Well, sure a Honda Accord is a pretty good car and serviceable, but if there is a 68 convertible Camaro with a large block right next to it, what would be your preference for a country drive on a beautiful day?

That's what I thought.

"large block"?

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Nieces saw Santa, olds got their pics, I ate a shit ton of good food from classical Swedish fare to jalapeño-Ed cranberry sauce, gifts were thoughtful all around, hung out with a crazy retired ceo type that puts 10+ Xmas trees every year at his place and then throws a party. Great host, kept giving away his liquor and beer.

Got to run/workout and decompress on my own; suburbia landscape but not that bad. Nice decorations on all the houses at least. Nieces discovered mad libs so it was fun being the uncle who go to say “poopie” for a noun or “stink butts” for plural nouns and getting to hear the kids nearly piss themselves with laughter. No complaints. 

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4 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

He didn’t make, and keep, all that money by wasting it on coffee that goes down the drain. 

This post truly hit a chord. Every time I go to my wife’s grandparents I get coffee out of the microwave. We bought them a nespresso this year. 

You want them to pay how much for a single coffee?  At least it will still be brand new next Xmas.  I would change out the water next December first.

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1 hour ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

You want them to pay how much for a single coffee?  At least it will still be brand new next Xmas.  I would change out the water next December first.

Lol. I got an recall notification email over an Emerson smart thermostat I bought parents 2 years ago.

 

Called them to tell them to rip it off for an exchange....they said it's still in the box.

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Ps

 

56def536183e2d9d5c4b84034cc092c1.jpg

 

Warming up to room temp. Going on the smoker at noon. Brisket went on at 6:40. Newfangled Masterbilt lectric smoker. First brisket on the mfer. Made pulled pork and smoked chicken on it. Came out pretty good. Prey for my meeat.

 

Pps. The orange tumbler has my coffee in it. The coffee has in it all the liquids on the counter and mesquite chips.

 

 

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30 minutes ago, MrPhlegm said:

Ps

 

56def536183e2d9d5c4b84034cc092c1.jpg

 

Warming up to room temp. Going on the smoker at noon. Brisket went on at 6:40. Newfangled Masterbilt lectric smoker. First brisket on the mfer. Made pulled pork and smoked chicken on it. Came out pretty good. Prey for my meeat.

 

Pps. The orange tumbler has my coffee in it. The coffee has in it all the liquids on the counter and mesquite chips.

 

 

You’re a weird fucker.

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19 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Oh wow, 20% alcohol and metric fuck tons of sugar. Oh yeah, that's a way better way to get your AM drunk on.

Do you drink mimosas too?

I like mimosas. I also like my family. I even like my wife’s family. I enjoy spending time with all of them during the holidays. 

Sorry for ruining you black panther party.

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Lent my sister and BiL my burner and pot last year to fry a turkey, because I was in Virginia.  

We're all having Christmas at her house this year.  We want fried turkey but her HOA has since forbidden the practice, so she asked me if I'd fry a couple and bring them over.  So, all week I asked her "you're sure you still have all the components for the fryer because I won't pick it up until Christmas morning"  Yes, she assured me. 

So I go over there this morning to open gifts and get the fryer to bring back to my house.  Aaaaand, no thermometer.   

Nothing's open and I'm not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to fry two turkeys w/out having any clue to oil temp.  

 

Merry fuckin' Christmas

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Lent my sister and BiL my burner and pot last year to fry a turkey, because I was in Virginia.  
We're all having Christmas at her house this year.  We want fried turkey but her HOA has since forbidden the practice, so she asked me if I'd fry a couple and bring them over.  So, all week I asked her "you're sure you still have all the components for the fryer because I won't pick it up until Christmas morning"  Yes, she assured me. 
So I go over there this morning to open gifts and get the fryer to bring back to my house.  Aaaaand, no thermometer.   
Nothing's open and I'm not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to fry two turkeys w/out having any clue to oil temp.  
 
Merry fuckin' Christmas
Did you specifically ask about the thermometer? If not, that's on you.
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39 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Lent my sister and BiL my burner and pot last year to fry a turkey, because I was in Virginia.  

We're all having Christmas at her house this year.  We want fried turkey but her HOA has since forbidden the practice, so she asked me if I'd fry a couple and bring them over.  So, all week I asked her "you're sure you still have all the components for the fryer because I won't pick it up until Christmas morning"  Yes, she assured me. 

So I go over there this morning to open gifts and get the fryer to bring back to my house.  Aaaaand, no thermometer.   

Nothing's open and I'm not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to fry two turkeys w/out having any clue to oil temp.  

 

Merry fuckin' Christmas

 

When you think your oil is nearly hot enough, take a strike-anywhere match and throw it in the oil.  When it ignites, your oil is ready.  I'm serious.

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40 minutes ago, dirtonia said:

Drank coffee with some non-sanctioned booze.

 

Wife won $50 bucks off scratch off tickets her parents got us.

 

Hopefully MiL doesn’t fuck up this lovely hunk of beef.

 

31752dc1f13badb2d08e9ab89c71ba76.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

There are certain time when one must politely step in and take over the kitchen. I would suggest that this may be one of those times. 

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Wife got over whatever was ailing her yesterday so all is good. Gifts = opened. Family phone calls = made. Sex like crazed weasels = had. Prime rib is rubbed & gonna go on the grill in about an hour. Gonna sip some Celis Double Porters until it's time to switch to cab for dinner.

Peace, ya bunch of assholes.

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Well, at about the halfway mark. Spent two days at the river house with my folks and brother's brood, plus my grandma. Drove back home this morning, have the in laws coming over for dinner tonight. So far, so good.

 

 

And GOTJ has the most f'ed up FIL I've ever heard of.

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