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Did you even make it to the gas station or did you have to siphon?

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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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2 hours ago, markstanco said:

Never fails.

Monday we planned for me to take her SUV to work for a new set of tires today. Last night I fill my truck up for her, and I dont have to finish the story.

She's banging the pool boy?

8 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Calm down with all the pool boy talk today. 

Yeah, take it to the Hamm thread.

4 hours ago, markstanco said:

Never fails.

Monday we planned for me to take her SUV to work for a new set of tires today. Last night I fill my truck up for her, and I dont have to finish the story.

He fixed the cable?

Wife just woke me up at 3am because she couldn't sleep and wanted to watch something on the tablet but couldn't find it. I told her the last time I saw it she was in bed watching something on it. "I put it back in the living room and it's not there." I pull up the locater on my phone to see where in the house it is and see it's on 6% battery and the location is shut off. I tell it to play a sound and we hear it and follow it to the bedroom where we find it under the comforter in bed on her side.

 

And now I'm having a hard time going back to sleep.

 

 

On 12/18/2018 at 7:12 PM, Mole said:

We’re heading out of town for the holidays. We don’t fly because we’ve missed too many flights. It’s a 10-12 hour drive to her family’s house. I woke up at about 6 and was told that she could leave “whenever I wanted.” It’s after 1pm and I’m still on the couch. After everything is done, I predict a 2pm departure. I might be too optimistic.

hahahaha... this fucking bullshit

 

when we schedule to leave at 10am, im ready at 955am to go on a moment's notice.

if we're out the door at 10:02am because i had to shit or something, it's my fault for taking too long.

if we're out the door at 2:00pm because she's been dawdling around, it's my fault for not helping pack bags to the car early.  etc

***

no such problems around flights though, since she insist on being at the airport 4 hours before check-in time.

Wife just woke me up at 3am because she couldn't sleep and wanted to watch something on the tablet but couldn't find it. I told her the last time I saw it she was in bed watching something on it. "I put it back in the living room and it's not there." I pull up the locater on my phone to see where in the house it is and see it's on 6% battery and the location is shut off. I tell it to play a sound and we hear it and follow it to the bedroom where we find it under the comforter in bed on her side.

 

And now I'm having a hard time going back to sleep.

 

 

 

You’re a dumbass. You just taught your wife that’s okay to wake you up at 2am so she can watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reruns.

14 hours ago, markstanco said:

Never fails.

Monday we planned for me to take her SUV to work for a new set of tires today. Last night I fill my truck up for her, and I dont have to finish the story.

You just yada yada-ed over the best part.

6 hours ago, Modessit said:

Wife just woke me up at 3am because she couldn't sleep and wanted to watch something on the tablet but couldn't find it. I told her the last time I saw it she was in bed watching something on it. "I put it back in the living room and it's not there." I pull up the locater on my phone to see where in the house it is and see it's on 6% battery and the location is shut off. I tell it to play a sound and we hear it and follow it to the bedroom where we find it under the comforter in bed on her side.

 

And now I'm having a hard time going back to sleep.

 

 

That kind of passive aggressive shit just pisses me off to no end.

My ex was horrible about it.  Any day I have to get up early and she was still sleeping, I would go out of my way to be quiet, avoid turning on lights, etc.  If she had to get up early, she might as well have sounded reveille. It's like she was pissed off that she was up while I was still (trying to be) asleep.

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

That kind of passive aggressive shit just pisses me off to no end.

My ex was horrible about it.  Any day I have to get up early and she was still sleeping, I would go out of my way to be quiet, avoid turning on lights, etc.  If she had to get up early, she might as well have sounded reveille. It's like she was pissed off that she was up while I was still (trying to be) asleep.

Yep, a few weeks ago my wife woke me up to ask me what to do about a paintbrush because it had a different color on it.  At 6AM on a Saturday.  Nevermind that there were 2 brand new paintbrushes within 18 inches of that one.  Or that she wasn't going to start painting for another few hours.  Or that she came in, woke me up, asked the question then within 2 seconds she says, "never mind I'll just use one of the other ones" and I'll let you guess if she softly shut the door...

 

tell her to find her own fucking tablet and then punch her in the cunt for waking you up. jesus, what are you? her 24hr personal assistant?

Edited by AM Wood

29 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

tell her to find her own fucking tablet and then punch her in the cunt for waking you up. jesus, what are you? her 24hr personal assistant?

She controls 50% of the money and all the pussy, so yeah.

10 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

She controls 50% of the money and all the pussy, so yeah.

whatever man. good luck with that. my wife controls the same amount of the money and pussy and she would never dream of waking me up unless the house was on fire.

She only controls the pussy if she knows where you're getting it from.

I know this has been brought up here before but what it is it about women that makes them not able to pump gas? Just got in my wife's car and the needle barely moved when I started it. I know she drove by at least 3 gas stations early today when she was out running errands with the kids but couldn't manage to stop and put gas in.

7 minutes ago, Mango4 said:

I know this has been brought up here before but what it is it about women that makes them not able to pump gas? Just got in my wife's car and the needle barely moved when I started it. I know she drove by at least 3 gas stations early today when she was out running errands with the kids but couldn't manage to stop and put gas in.

She just didn't have time, you inconsiderate dick.

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

She only controls the pussy if she knows where you're getting it from.

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1 hour ago, AM Wood said:

whatever man. good luck with that. my wife controls the same amount of the money and pussy and she would never dream of waking me up unless the house was on fire.

I'm not OP. Lighten up, Francis.

7 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm not OP. Lighten up, Francis.

😄i think i'm going to be okay. broseph. i did my square breathing and got my shit packed in again.

Gas talk not going away. Nobody’s wives put gas in their car.

11 minutes ago, Flg8rfan said:

Gas talk not going away. Nobody’s wives put gas in their car.

I know this. And yet, it still pisses me off.

On 12/19/2018 at 9:01 PM, UT_OB1 said:

Towel racks?  With towels on them?  And you have to replace them when she does laundry?  I don’t want to hear it. We have no less than 10 towels, wet, on the floor ALL. OVER. THE. HOUSE.  Most are on the floor in the bathroom, but a handful will be in the middle of the bedroom floor, living room, hallway, or kitchen. And these aren’t  towels the kids left out. 

 

Oh, and “I spent all day doing laundry I’m exhausted” means 2-4 loads were transported from the bedroom, washed, dried, and piled on the spare bedroom to be left until I fold them and put them away. 

Holy cow!  We're married to the same woman

I'd also like to add the, "I've spent all day folding laundry" complaint.  Perhaps if you didn't pile it (clean laundry) up for weeks at a time, this wouldn't happen.  

I do my own laundry and it NEVER consists of more than 1/2 a load which is also immediately folded and put up.

50 minutes ago, Flg8rfan said:

Gas talk not going away. Nobody’s wives put gas in their car.

My wife is good about pumping her own gas.  But sometimes I notice she doesn't fill up all the way.  Shell stop and put in half a tank.  The reasoning is that she hates gas stations and wants to spend as little time  as possible there.  

This thread definitively answers the question "Why did Chris Watts murder his wife?"

35 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Holy cow!  We're married to the same woman

I'd also like to add the, "I've spent all day folding laundry" complaint.  Perhaps if you didn't pile it (clean laundry) up for weeks at a time, this wouldn't happen.  

I do my own laundry and it NEVER consists of more than 1/2 a load which is also immediately folded and put up.

You do the small loads by hand?

8 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

My wife is good about pumping her own gas.  But sometimes I notice she doesn't fill up all the way.  Shell stop and put in half a tank.  The reasoning is that she hates gas stations and wants to spend as little time  as possible there.  

Perfection

This morning I went into the pantry/laundry room to get some cereal, and I noticed that the green light on the washing machine was on, indicating that a load was done.  She did laundry yesterday.  There were some damp towels in there.

And she always complains that our towels smell funny and we need to buy new towels. 

I don't want to piggyback onto Lobo's epic rant over in the holiday bitch thread, but the next foofoo coffee drink bullshit that my wife actually finishes will be the first damn damn one ever.
Every fucking time she gets a size too big, drinks half of the mother fucker, and it gets tossed. 
It's like the shithead roomate I had in college who would order a double quarter pounder from McDonald's on every visit.  Every time he'd eat half, and then toss it.  Whenever I suggest he simply order a quarter pounder and eat the entire thing, he'd lose his shit.

You are searching for shit to whine about.

My wife bought some nutritional yeast and proclaimed it was a good deal because it was only a dollar per pound. As she pulled the bag out, she said “see, only $13.00”.
4a38630963a100921cec611905cf5a62.jpg
It was the size of a bag of trail mix.
“Oh, it was $1.00/ounce”.

  • Popular Post

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 

34 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 

Swayze will be there shortly to take the pics.

6 hours ago, Flg8rfan said:

Gas talk not going away. Nobody’s wives put gas in their car.

My wife does a lot of dumb ass shit, but she never goes beneath 1/4 tank

My mom always says she had it put in the vows that she never has to pump gas. Whenever it gets below a half tank she has my dad go fill it up.

 

 

3 hours ago, Nivek said:


You are searching for shit to whine about.

Chad?

1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 

Better than the pool guy, eh?

2 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 

200.gif?cid=3640f6095c1335004156535a51c6

 

4 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 

I initially read this as giraffe artist, and it made perfect sense in my head because you typed it. 

 

When do we get get pictures of the giraffe?

Dbl post. Can’t delete

Edited by UT_OB1

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 
Pic? Is he done yet

A girl I work with, who is somebody’s wife, recently checked out the audiobook “What Happened” by Hillary Clinton from the library.

When she started it, she was disappointed because she thought she had checked out  “What Happened Hillary Clinton?” by literally any other author.  In fairness, i’d rather read the second book too.

19 hours ago, miguelito said:

This morning I went into the pantry/laundry room to get some cereal, and I noticed that the green light on the washing machine was on, indicating that a load was done.  She did laundry yesterday.  There were some damp towels in there.

And she always complains that our towels smell funny and we need to buy new towels. 

a4fb6088b0dd0bea28b594911417589d.gif

As I type this, there is a graffiti artist in the playroom painting a mural on one of the walls. 
With canned spray paint? Is he a crip or blood?

This morning at 4am I get up to pee.  I notice she's playing on her ipad.  When I come back to bed, she says, "Sorry if I woke you up."

Me: you didn't.

Her: My allergies were bad, so I had to go blow my nose, then I had to go to the bathroom, I think I ate something bad, probably at lunch yesterday with

Me: well now you're just keeping me up.

Her: *tone*

Me: *sleep*

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