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A story about a pathetic man's downfall


Francisco 2.0

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18 hours ago, Horndog said:

Trump will either cause lasting damage to the country or the Republican party. Maybe both.

 

17 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:


the damage to the R party has already been done 

I'd say enough damage is done to both. this country is healthier when there are two (or more) functioning parties. we have one 3/4 functioning party and the other maybe operating at 1/4 capacity, resulting in dysfunctional government. I enjoy some good R schadenfreude like everyone else, but eventually something resembling a functioning party needs to rise from the ashes, and soon. 

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There is a 1/3 chance we reboot to two healthy, cooperative parties that can work together as they did for most of the 20th century.  
 

There is a 1/3 chance this morass results in us transitioning to a multi-party coalition styled political system like many of our Northern European, representative-democracy counterparts.  
 

There is 1/3 chance we devolve into an authoritarian state and lose Our status as the globe’s lone superpower Republic and condemn our children to walk across the ashes in search of books that explain what we used to hold dear in the “before times.”  
 

happy Monday motherfuckers

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7 minutes ago, Red Five said:

I think about it often. Probably at some point every day. I don't think it's healthy. 

same and same. I actually started fantasizing about a post-trump world and I had to stop myself because I couldn't let myself get my hopes up. the man ruins everything!

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2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I had to recuse myself from the cul-de-sac discussion to go jerk off.  

A real alpha jerks off wherever he wants.  It's a solid way of asserting dominance.

Way to admit you're a beta loser.  You probably don't even take daily super ultra mega man brain supplements, as advertised on Alex Jones and Joe Rogan's shows.  LOSER.

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2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

You probably don't even take daily super ultra mega man brain supplements, as advertised on Alex Jones and Joe Rogan's shows.  LOSER.

To be fair, if you don’t take them, you’re prolly not gonna remember to take them. 

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1 minute ago, Snake Diggity said:

I might be wrong, but I think a lot of people are going to be utterly shocked at how much intense public celebration there will be when Trump dies

I cannot wait for the faux outrage of Fox and the GOP about how classless we all are to celebrate a President's death. It's going to be some high comedy.

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If they cremate him to avoid the obvious, I say we rig up a fake headstone somewhere in Florida and have it filter throughout the Magaverse that we figured out where he’s really buried and can take people there covertly for a tidy fee. 
 

grifting on his death would be the ultimate high. 

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I find it not credible that many people want to see the verdict in the election subversion case before the vote, as reported by CNN - https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/05/politics/cnn-poll-trump-verdict-election-charges/index.html

Almost everyone I know either will never vote for Trump, or they will vote for him regardless of any convictions; or maybe it the the silent type that don't talk politics who haven't decided.

Kind of like OJ - I don't think many people changed their opinion of him because of the trial verdict. ( I mean he beat the murder rap, and pussy is no longer 100% undefeated)

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Champagne and steak?  Aren’t your darling…

There’s isn’t enough cocaine and strippers and cognac enemas in this state to supply me and my crew.  I’m gonna sell my truck to buy a Kawasaki Ninja and ride it across Lake Travis on acid.  I’ve literally inquired with a friend in the black market about obtaining some hand grenades and MDMA.  We’re doing this all out or we are not doing it at all

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10 minutes ago, Bodhi said:

 

I actually think it will make the evening bin Laden was killed seem tame.  I'm not joking at all.  I will celebrate with champagne and steak without an ounce of guilt. 

Hopefully, its a plane crash with no survivors where Tucker Carlson was conducting a full Trump family interview. 

Bin Laden’s death will be NOTHING compared to Trump’s.  Maybe if Trump lives another 15+ years and doesn’t die until he’s been completely out of the spotlight for 5+ years.  Maybe.  But if he dies this decade a shitload of people are going to be partying like nothing we’ve seen in the last 70 years.

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Yeah: that’s a fair point.  If he somehow makes it to 90, I’ll be 60 and couldn’t hack a proper celebration.   But for the next few years, I’ve got just barely enough fight in me and my Organs to snort thunder and shit heroin.  I’ll probably still need hospitalization but I think my tolerance and muscle memory could still rough it out.  But anything later than 2025-2030 window; yeah I’m probably gonna overdose and die.  But I’m willing to do it for my country.  
 

I already have a deposit down on some Costa Rican midgets and a 1984 Camaro powered by everclear and bad dreams. 

Edited by YGIFS
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6 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

Bin Laden’s death will be NOTHING compared to Trump’s.  Maybe if Trump lives another 15+ years and doesn’t die until he’s been completely out of the spotlight for 5+ years.  Maybe.  But if he dies this decade a shitload of people are going to be partying like nothing we’ve seen in the last 70 years.

Many fine people are saying so. 

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Wait, Palparine died?  Spoiler alert that shit, man!  
 

In all honestly I  feel like I’m either going to be murdered celebrating at the Texas Capitol steps by mourning MAGAts or overdose.  We need to set up kinda buddy system where like one of us parties balls and the other person stays lucid and sober and looks after them for a half day and then we switch roles and the other one gets nuts.  I also still say we should put down a deposit on obscenely badass VRBO in the hill country for 20 of us to retreat when it happens so we don’t have to worry about spouses or cops or angry Trumpers.  

Edited by YGIFS
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Yub-Yub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the one thing you gotta remember about them is even when Trump dies and they agree to the costumes…these things get together and they gossip. And the last thing we need is them badmouthing our organization.  And you can’t look ‘em straight in the eye either.  I saw it on PBS

Edited by YGIFS
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15 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Worldwide. It will be like when Palpatine died. 

And it's all morbid, but for a good reason. At no time in any of our lives has the death of one person done anywhere close to the amount of good for humanity that Dotard's will.

What about when Jerry Jones and Barry Switzer die?

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3 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

This may not be politically correct, but I feel like on that day all the midgets in America should be required to dress like Ewoks and dance around bonfires with us.   And if they won’t put on the costume, you know they’re MAGA and you can drop stones at them from hang gliders. 

I hope it's not limited to short folks, cause I might rent a costume and party myself.  I'm 6'0 tall, I'd be the Shaq of the Ewoks for the day.  

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20 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I already have a deposit down on some Costa Rican midgets and a 1984 Camaro powered by everclear and bad dreams. 

Showoff.  I had to put my midgets on layaway, and I could only afford the cheap imported ones from Bangladesh.

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Obviously the ones from Bangladesh are imported, you redundant sumbitch who probably charges clients by the word.  It’d be just plain creepy if you had domestic Bangladeshi midgets just hanging out on retainer in Idaho.  Sickie.  
 

also you need to take a CLE credit hour in Crim defense because we are gonna commit some serious crimes the week this guy croaks.  Nothing violent but probably not gonna be allowed within 500 feet of a federal building for a good long while.  

Edited by YGIFS
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What about like A mash-up theme Of ROTJ final scene and VJ Day in Manhattan?  I mean, I won’t be proud of it but I’ll fuck a droid that day on Broadway.  I’ll be on the cover of LIFE magazine for Hell’s sake.   
 

I really don’t know in the modern era of communication technology that any other death will be met with such global jubilation other than maybe Hitler but the world was just run so ragged down at that point and there so much work to do, it kinda came and went in a few days.  This one will be extra fun because of all his worshippers I know will be so fucking butt hurt at his demise, it’s like an extra serving of joy and euphoria.  It’ll basically be a week of going around to sad tables at bars of weeping patrons, “are you gonna finish that?” And just chugging their drinks and fingering their sad wives.  

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Yub-Yub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the one thing you gotta remember about them is even when Trump dies and they agree to the costumes…these things get together and they gossip. And the last thing we need is them badmouthing our organization.  And you can’t look ‘em straight in the eye either.  I saw it on PBS

giphy.gif
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Good lord, we are such a sick fucking group. But hot Damn; we are gonna have the most epic mid-life bender in American history.  

see, I feel like you’re looking at my chin right now   

Can anyone get ahold of any Lemmon 714 ludes or we just doing hot tub full of meth and shooting revolvers at birds or how we doing this?

Edited by YGIFS
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I part of me would prefer that he just go full senile/catatonic and live for another decade or so and we can all just bask is how sad and pathetic his ending becomes. There would also be far fewer zealots to give a shit if he dies after ten years of being a vegetable. Yeah, there will still be conspiracy theories, etc., but it's unavoidable. But if it's ten years from now it is likely to be far less problematic, many magaites will have moved on to the next crusade.

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Yeah, fair point.  Their enthusiasm and propensity for violent outcry will wane tremendously in the next decade.  While it would be fun as shit to watch them wince at his gradual and painful demise, I’m just selfishly thinking of my own shit.  I could still physically handle one batshit insane week-long bender.  I couldn’t do it ten or even five years from now.  

 I don’t wanna be the guy chopping up lines of blow with my AARP card.  But I’ll do it for my country. 

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1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

If they cremate him to avoid the obvious, I say we rig up a fake headstone somewhere in Florida and have it filter throughout the Magaverse that we figured out where he’s really buried and can take people there covertly for a tidy fee. 
 

grifting on his death would be the ultimate high. 

Junior will cremate and sell his ashes to MAGAts and use it to buy cocaine.

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Eh, it would be nifty if he were incapacitated with something; say a stroke.  A stroke so bad that the GOP would somehow have to shift over to someone unelectable nationwide like Cruz to be on the ticket because Trump would be in such bad shape that they would have no choice to have a Plan B, but at the same time still coherent enough that a huge chunk of the MAGA verse would still hinge on every incredibly slurred word he someone uttered, and would refuse to even consider voting for Cruz.

 

Who am I kidding; the GOP would go full Weekend at Bernies and just prop Trump up here and there every few days between now and the election and the press wouldn't even bother to ask basic questions like "Why isn't Trump speaking in public?" and people like Steven Miller would be ghostwriting the Trump social media posts and there would actually be pundits using that social media presence as proof that Trump "has grown up!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 minute ago, Superhero said:

Junior will cremate and sell his ashes to MAGAts and use it to buy cocaine.

Don Jr will snort it thinking it will give him his father’s charisma and shit 

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I was talking about it with some friends this weekend. The parties are going to be epic. I still prefer to see him either away like a fat pathetic fuck but if he does sooner I’m cool with it for the parties alone. It astonishes me how he has deluded himself into thinking the hatred for him is small, his legacy will be sad and pathetic, how can he not see that people studying this on the future will be laughing there asses off at the man child we managed to elect as president? It’ll be historically sad but individually hilarious.

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If we won the CFP, my wife would probably give me a pass for falling off the wagon, and maybe smoking some weed or something.  As long as it was subtle, discrete, and confined to one short night.  It would be more celebratory with lots and lots of friends and more jubilant.  
 

when Trump dies, I already have my lies in place.  I just have to be in xyz city that week for work purposes and I’m going fucking insane with drugs, alcohol, fireworks, and strippers.  It’s a literal 50/50 chance I’ll be hospitalized.  It’s why I pray it happens soon because my body still has a hint of reflexivity left in it.  And I want to life just long enough to mock the people lined up to mourn over his casket.  

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48 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I part of me would prefer that he just go full senile/catatonic and live for another decade or so and we can all just bask is how sad and pathetic his ending becomes. There would also be far fewer zealots to give a shit if he dies after ten years of being a vegetable. Yeah, there will still be conspiracy theories, etc., but it's unavoidable. But if it's ten years from now it is likely to be far less problematic, many magaites will have moved on to the next crusade.

 Another decade?!  FUCK that.  Ideal scenario is he suffers a MASSIVE stroke and spends 2-3 weeks flubbering around in a hospital bed, gasping for air and suffering while screaming incomprehensible gibberish, with frequent videos leaking out with false reports that he’s recovering.  Then he dies.  And that video leaks too.

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