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Posted

Jesus man, even for you---that's sick. 

Personally I would have expected an Aggie sheepskin rubber joke from you.  But you've been losing your edge for awhile, we just didn't have the heart to tell you.  

Anyway, I'm skimming these asset mis-statements.  This is fucking insane.  I am not being hyperbolic at all.  Beau Vine and I used to joke on here that this could make for a couple of lectures in B-school on corporate workout deals.  BUt this is a fucking semester-long course in workouts.  There's drug cartels looking at this shit like, "Wait, you can do that for 30 years to obfuscate financial information and you don't even have to murder children?  Da fuh?  PACO!  GET IN HERE!"  

Posted

a bit more fun from NYT:

 

Quote

 

Justice Engoron’s decision narrows the issues that will be heard at trial, deciding that the core of Ms. James’s case was valid. It represents a major blow to Mr. Trump, whose lawyers had sought to persuade the judge to throw out many claims against the former president.

In his order, Justice Engoron wrote scathingly about Mr. Trump’s defenses, saying that the former president and the other defendants, including his two adult sons and his company, ignored reality when it suited their business needs. “In defendants’ world,” he wrote, “rent-regulated apartments are worth the same as unregulated apartments; restricted land is worth the same as unrestricted land; restrictions can evaporate into thin air.”

“That is a fantasy world, not the real world,” he added.

The judge also levied sanctions on Mr. Trump’s lawyers for making arguments that he previously rejected. He ordered each to pay $7,500, noting that he had previously warned them that the arguments in question bordered on being frivolous.

Repeating them was “indefensible,” Justice Engoron wrote.

 

Quote

 

But Justice Engoron, with whom Mr. Trump’s lawyers have tangled at every turn, mocked those arguments.

“The documents do not say what they say; that there is no such thing as ‘objective’ value,” the judge wrote, summarizing his take on their arguments, and adding, “Essentially, the court should not believe its own eyes.”

In a footnote, he added a quote from the movie “Duck Soup” uttered by Chico Marx: “Well, who ya gonna believe, me or your own eyes?”

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/26/nyregion/trump-james-fraud-trial.html

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Posted

I like to think of a simpler time.  Don, Jr. and Nate Paul locked themselves in a downtown Austin high-rise closet in 2015.  Don, Jr is talking about he over-inflates real estate assets to lure investors, falsify IRR claims, and boost his father's image as brilliant businessman.  Nate, while leaning back into the drip, inquires, "Wait, you can do that?  We've got a buncha holdings on our books but I can't develop it for what I need to make everybody happy."  Don, Jr. grabs the straw, "Bro, I can totally walk you through it.  It's so fucking easy.  My dad's gonna head into the election looking like a multi-billionaire.  All you need is some political coverage like us.  I've got my Dad and the GOP, who can you get to help you?"  Nate pauses, opens the closet door, "Ken, get in here.  Take this (hands him straw).  We got an idea."  

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Posted
10 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I like to think of a simpler time.  Don, Jr. and Nate Paul locked themselves in a downtown Austin high-rise closet in 2015.  Don, Jr is talking about he over-inflates real estate assets to lure investors, falsify IRR claims, and boost his father's image as brilliant businessman.  Nate, while leaning back into the drip, inquires, "Wait, you can do that?  We've got a buncha holdings on our books but I can't develop it for what I need to make everybody happy."  Don, Jr. grabs the straw, "Bro, I can totally walk you through it.  It's so fucking easy.  My dad's gonna head into the election looking like a multi-billionaire.  All you need is some political coverage like us.  I've got my Dad and the GOP, who can you get to help you?"  Nate pauses, opens the closet door, "Ken, get in here.  Take this (hands him straw).  We got an idea."  

Goddamnit, that's 100% believable. 

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Posted
6 hours ago, Red Five said:

Cassidy Hutchinson looked pretty good last night on Maddow. I would like to invite her to the pants party. 

Not bad. Not spectacular, but not bad. Kind of a turnoff when she said she still considers herself a Republican. Not like Trump but more like Ronald Reagan and Mitt Romney. She’s still in her 20’s. I’ll bet her understanding of both men is pretty shallow and superficial. Still…wood.

IMG_9483.thumb.jpeg.e8efa430e3171bcd8fc0c7cc86cba471.jpeg

 

IMG_9484.thumb.jpeg.7eb1c818062f71ee308ed37f928783d1.jpeg

 

IMG_9488.thumb.jpeg.539af5a162606cfca9cdfa8210f88b26.jpeg

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Posted
2 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Kind of a turnoff when she said she still considers herself a Republican.

With the modest qualification that all republicans are dumb traitorous twats, I cut her some slack on that because if she wants to continue to work in politics or government, switching parties isn't an option for the non-elected.

Posted
2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

But most of them have applied for car loans or home loans.

As someone who co-signed on a car loan for his kid about an hour ago, this hits close to home.  Dammit.

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Posted
21 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

No way the idiot has the mental capacity to fill out firearm paper work 

are you kidding? even if if could, he would straight shit himself if he ever fired a gun. even the littlest bit of recoil and the pee would follow. he might be able to shoot someone on 5th Ave and not lose any voters, but he better be sure he has is diaper on, maybe two

Posted
7 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

Eric is on the case with Zillow comps

 

You know deep down inside that before Zillow, Eric spent an hour on the MLS Miami site to find real estate comps, before his personal assistant assured him that "Sir, that is not $59,000,000 for an estate called Lionel Messi on the Intercoastal of Miami.  You're on the Inter-Miami CF site for their best player who gets paid $59mm/year sir.  He's not a house, he's a soccer player.  It's Major League Soccer, not Multiple Listing Services.  Let me queue up Zillow for you.  No, they don't speak Argentinian there, Sir.  They speak Spanish like everybody else in SE Florida.  What?  No, he's not a fucking resort.  He's a Argentine footballer.  Never mind.  Do you want pudding or not?"  

Posted
46 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I like to think of a simpler time.  Don, Jr. and Nate Paul locked themselves in a downtown Austin high-rise closet in 2015.  Don, Jr is talking about he over-inflates real estate assets to lure investors, falsify IRR claims, and boost his father's image as brilliant businessman.  Nate, while leaning back into the drip, inquires, "Wait, you can do that?  We've got a buncha holdings on our books but I can't develop it for what I need to make everybody happy."  Don, Jr. grabs the straw, "Bro, I can totally walk you through it.  It's so fucking easy.  My dad's gonna head into the election looking like a multi-billionaire.  All you need is some political coverage like us.  I've got my Dad and the GOP, who can you get to help you?"  Nate pauses, opens the closet door, "Ken, get in here.  Take this (hands him straw).  We got an idea."  

 

34 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Goddamnit, that's 100% believable. 

Sigh....this.  Seriously, on first read, my thought was "wait, how does YGIFS know that?"

13 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

Eric is on the case with Zillow comps

 

 

Today, someone needs to introduce Eric to the following term relevant in appraisal of real property: "stigma."

Appraiser: "Nice house.  I'll have to run some other traps, but looks like it's worth about $250k in this neighborhood"

"Yeah, it is nice.  And it has all new carpets, because we had to replace them all after Jeffrey Dahmer gutted his victims on the old ones and then cooked their flesh in the kitchen. We kept that stove, though -- it's a good gas range, and Jeffrey said it had great temperature control."

Appraiser: "Okay.  So...I'm going to lower my appraised value to tree fiddy now."

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Posted
1 minute ago, Sawbonz said:

It’s like the judge doesn’t even know about the very big, very powerful disclaimer clause 

Very sophisticated. A lot of people don't know how sophisticated. A lot of people would be shocked at how sophisticated. Very, very, tippy top sophisticated.

Posted
Just now, Stilicho said:

Very sophisticated. A lot of people don't know how sophisticated. A lot of people would be shocked at how sophisticated. Very, very, tippy top sophisticated.

 

3 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

It’s like the judge doesn’t even know about the very big, very powerful disclaimer clause 

 

Some bigly successful, powerful lawyers have called it the most powerful disclaimer clause they have ever seen.  No one could imagine a clause so powerful.  Only the best lawyers could have made it so powerful.    One big, strong, powerful lawyer came up to me with tears in his eyes, saying he had never read a clause as powerful as the one that had been created for me.

 

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Posted

I don't know much about crisis management, but who advised him to claim Mar-a-Lago was worth $1.8 billion dollars and then close with, "If this can happen to me, it can happen to you!"  I mean, I know the power of the Prosperity Gospel among MAGA nation.  But even an East Texas dumbass, Trump worshipper has to think, "Yeah, I mean I figure they can come for my guns or my job or my F-250 gas-guzzler, but I gotta tell ya' sir...I don't see them coming for my $1.8 billion dollar resort.  Maybe it's worth slightly less sir, I dunno.  I ain't no underwriting queer.  I ain't no under at all, no bottoms here sir.  I'm a top!"  

Posted
25 minutes ago, Ted Lange said:

Eric is on the case with Zillow comps

 

 

Definitely don't look into all the properties he and republican ruling class types sold to oligarchs in the run up to the 2016 election and during the trump presidency. Just absolutely dumping money into those campaigns 

Posted
2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I don't know much about crisis management, but who advised him to claim Mar-a-Lago was worth $1.8 billion dollars and then close with, "If this can happen to me, it can happen to you!"  I mean, I know the power of the Prosperity Gospel among MAGA nation.  But even an East Texas dumbass, Trump worshipper has to think, "Yeah, I mean I figure they can come for my guns or my job or my F-250 gas-guzzler, but I gotta tell ya' sir...I don't see them coming for my $1.8 billion dollar resort.  Maybe it's worth slightly less sir, I dunno.  I ain't no underwriting queer.  I ain't no under at all, no bottoms here sir.  I'm a top!"  

There are studies that show that people don’t want bad things to happen to billionaires as they always think there is a chance they could be one. It’s how the GOP has always sold tax cuts to working people. 

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Posted

I'm seriously considering listing my home tonight for the low price of $1.7 billion.  Sure I might be giving up some money, but if it's priced right it will move.  

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Posted
1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

Ahem.

 

 

 

 


 

let’s just make shit up !

17 minutes ago, BamaATL said:

I'm seriously considering listing my home tonight for the low price of $1.7 billion.  Sure I might be giving up some money, but if it's priced right it will move.  


I want to refinance my place, it’s worth $1.5bil 

Posted
2 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:


 

let’s just make shit up !


I want to refinance my place, it’s worth $1.5bil 

You might want to apply with Deutsche Bank, I hear they are quite good.  

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Posted
2 hours ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

The judge also levied sanctions on Mr. Trump’s lawyers for making arguments that he previously rejected. He ordered each to pay $7,500

Cbs What GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden

Is that supposed to be significant in the legal world?

Posted
1 hour ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

are you kidding? even if if could, he would straight shit himself if he ever fired a gun. even the littlest bit of recoil and the pee would follow. he might be able to shoot someone on 5th Ave and not lose any voters, but he better be sure he has is diaper on, maybe two

He does.

Posted
1 hour ago, Ted Lange said:

Eric is on the case with Zillow comps

 

 

MAL needs 30 million in renovations to get rid of all of Trump’s hideous “decorations”. Shoulda listened to his realtor when he said don’t over do it because it turns off the next buyer. 

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Posted

Again, I gotta give Commander Dipshit credit.  Literally just received a Summary Judgement indicating he unlawfully misstated financial assets and valuations in order to defraud legitimate banks.  So what does he do? Publicly states his $18mm valuation is easily worth 100x that amount as a basis for invalidating the accusation that he mis-represents his assets.  

Now, MAGA apologists will come forward and say there's a difference between mis-stating to the IRS, to a bank, and then to the general public via media/marketing channels.  Fine, I'll entertain that notion.  Before bed tonight, go to your mailbox.  In it, you will find 2 or 3 marketing mail pieces from various female realtors with soft lighting and a popped collar indicating they are experts in your area.  on the other side will be homes they are currently listing to show you their sales expertise.  The home price will be listed as $1,800,000.  May sell for a bit more, may sell for a bit less.  What they won't do is put in print, "F/S: $1,800,000 which could easily be worth 100x that amount."  Because that's called fraud and Linda would lose her license by mass distributing that through the mail.  At the very worst, she'd fuck over every banking and title relationship she ever had.

But what does MAGA nation do?  They send him more money.  

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Posted
13 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Again, I gotta give Commander Dipshit credit.  Literally just received a Summary Judgement indicating he unlawfully misstated financial assets and valuations in order to defraud legitimate banks.  So what does he do? Publicly states his $18mm valuation is easily worth 100x that amount as a basis for invalidating the accusation that he mis-represents his assets.  

Now, MAGA apologists will come forward and say there's a difference between mis-stating to the IRS, to a bank, and then to the general public via media/marketing channels.  Fine, I'll entertain that notion.  Before bed tonight, go to your mailbox.  In it, you will find 2 or 3 marketing mail pieces from various female realtors with soft lighting and a popped collar indicating they are experts in your area.  on the other side will be homes they are currently listing to show you their sales expertise.  The home price will be listed as $1,800,000.  May sell for a bit more, may sell for a bit less.  What they won't do is put in print, "F/S: $1,800,000 which could easily be worth 100x that amount."  Because that's called fraud and Linda would lose her license by mass distributing that through the mail.  At the very worst, she'd fuck over every banking and title relationship she ever had.

But what does MAGA nation do?  They send him more money.  

No way maga nation understands this case. Hell 15 years ago they were getting evicted as a result of lying on their mortgage applications. 

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Posted

Three things here, Eric.

1.  Nobody there with $5 to their name refers to it as "Palm Beach Island."  It's just Palm Beach.  

2.  If you read "it is a travesty of Justice and embarrassment to the court" in Cecily Strong's voice from W/U "Girl you wish you hadn't talked to at a party", this whole thing gets really funny for a few moments.  And we need to laugh more, Eric.  

3.  You've been in commercial real estate for what, Eric?  15 years?  I don't want to shock you here, but you are using Zillow.  Which is a residential real estate valuation/transaction tool for residences.  And you're using it compare single-family private residences to a commercial real estate development called Mar-a-Lago, a golf resort and events venue.  That's not how comps work, Eric.  You don't get to claim your business is worth the same amount as the mansion is down the street because they're not the same asset class with the same valuation/underwriting metrics.  This would be understandable if you were some vindictive soon-to-be ex wife from a Balkan country where a woman's worth is weighed in the cum she slurps prior to becoming First Lady.  But you're supposed to be...you know...in real estate.  I'd say you're comparing apples to oranges, but your dumbass would yell, "No Lobo, there's no oranges here, okay!  This is prime real estate...the citrus is grown further inland!"  Every time I think you're not mentally disabled, you surprise me.  And I thank you for it. 

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Posted
43 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Cbs What GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden

Is that supposed to be significant in the legal world?

Being sanctioned by a judge for frivolous pleadings is significant if you were only fined $100.   Given the jurisprudence, it is actually difficult to be found to be engaging in frivolous filings.    The overriding philosophy is to allow great leeway to counsel in crafting novel legal theories and strategies even though they might be ultimately unsuccessful.    In granting this leeway the system makes sure that the law remains a vibrant force in our contemporary changing world, and that the law does not become so moribund that it evolves into the type of out-of-touch jurisprudence one had at the turn of the 20th century in the freedom of contract era. 

Oh, I guess I feel that more as a Louisiana lawyer, as Louisiana does not follow the common law doctrine of precedent.  We follow the civilian concept of jurisprudence constante.  Since the civil code and statutes are the Genesis of our law, it is theoretically possible for any judge in any case to consider the Code and decide that prior judicial interpretations got it wrong.    In other words, we in Louisiana have a special affinity to filing stuff that is often contrary to established caselaw.    But even we know enough that, after we are chastised by the judge and get our knuckles wrapped, we do not file the same exact shit a month later. Trump’s counsel apparently did not figure this out. 

Given the extraordinary amount of leeway that courts usually give in presenting novel legal theories, you really have to screw the pooch and stick your middle finger in the judge’s face to be sanctioned the way trump’s lawyers were.   

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Posted
2 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Here we go.  A measured, appropriate response to today's ruling:

 

F6_OsnXW4AEJTJk?format=jpg&name=large

 

 

30% of American voters view the above as truth.  25% are so uninterested/uninvolved/muh guns/abortion, that they'll vote whichever way their one-issue wind blows.  We are on a razor-thin edge to keep our democracy.  Scary.  Fucking. Shit. 

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Posted
7 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Being sanctioned by a judge for frivolous pleadings is significant if you were only fined $100.   Given the jurisprudence, it is actually difficult to be found to be engaging in frivolous filings.    The overriding philosophy is to allow great leeway to counsel in crafting novel legal theories and strategies even though they might be ultimately unsuccessful.    In granting this leeway the system makes sure that the law remains a vibrant force in our contemporary changing world, and that the law does not become so moribund that it evolves into the type of out-of-touch jurisprudence one had at the turn of the 20th century in the freedom of contract era. 

Oh, I guess I feel that more as a Louisiana lawyer, as Louisiana does not follow the common law doctrine of precedent.  We follow the civilian concept of jurisprudence constante.  Since the civil code and statutes are the Genesis of our law, it is theoretically possible for any judge in any case to consider the Code and decide that prior judicial interpretations got it wrong.    In other words, we in Louisiana have a special affinity to filing stuff that is often contrary to established caselaw.    But even we know enough that, after we are chastised by the judge and get our knuckles wrapped, we do not file the same exact shit a month later. Trump’s counsel apparently did not figure this out. 

Given the extraordinary amount of leeway that courts usually give in presenting novel legal theories, you really have to screw the pooch and stick your middle finger in the judge’s face to be sanctioned the way trump’s lawyers were.   

Yes, because Americans and their lawyers have essentially the right to file bullshit lawsuits (some of which don't turn out to be bullshit after all), it's hard to get sanctioned.

That right, then, mitigates the severity of the sanctions:  they usually are not intended to put a lawyer out of business or a client in the poorhouse, but mostly to signify that they crossed the line that permits bullshit lawsuits and wandered into complete and utter bullshit of the purest ray serene.

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Posted
30% of American voters view the above as truth.  25% are so uninterested/uninvolved/muh guns/abortion, that they'll vote whichever way their one-issue wind blows.  We are on a razor-thin edge to keep our democracy.  Scary.  Fucking. Shit. 

Shit…it’s the pathetic infantile language that chaps my ass the most. If you deleted “at levels never seen before” from all of his writing, he’d lose 30% of his word count.
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Posted
1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:


Shit…it’s the pathetic infantile language that chaps my ass the most. If you deleted “at levels never seen before” from all of his writing, he’d lose 30% of his word count.

If you're going to say the same bullshit over and over and over again, some prosaic variation should be required.

I mean, shit, look at us.

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