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Ethical Non Monogamy "ENM"/Throupling/Fucking around/whatever.....


Aqua Buddha

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This "ENM" thing seems to be getting its place in the sun, at least temporarily.  Does anyone have any experience with this either first or second hand?

The way I understand this ENM thing is that you have a legal spouse but you're actively dating other people?  That seems exhausting.  Now I have to maintain two relationships?  Ugh.  If it's a green light to fuck around, I guess that's less exhausting....?  I don't judge people for what they do with their genitals so no judgement one way or the other.  It just seems easier and less messy to get a pro if you want some green lighted side action.

WSJ had a story the other day about these people infiltrating the big dating apps but they don't mention that they're "open" until the very end.  They had another story today and the NYT has had a few pieces recently.  I guess it's out of the shadows now.

Thoughts from this august body?

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3 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

This "ENM" thing seems to be getting its place in the sun, at least temporarily.  Does anyone have any experience with this either first or second hand?

The way I understand this ENM thing is that you have a legal spouse but you're actively dating other people?  That seems exhausting.  Now I have to maintain two relationships?  Ugh.  If it's a green light to fuck around, I guess that's less exhausting....?  I don't judge people for what they do with their genitals so no judgement one way or the other.  It just seems easier and less messy to get a pro if you want some green lighted side action.

WSJ had a story the other day about these people infiltrating the big dating apps but they don't mention that they're "open" until the very end.  They had another story today and the NYT has had a few pieces recently.  I guess it's out of the shadows now.

Thoughts from this august body?

ENM is for idiots. 

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99.9% of open relationships end badly, as far as I can tell. Call it whatever the fuck you want, at somepoint, somebody in the love triangle decides they want to spend more time/be fucked by one of the two choices more than the other, and then things go south. 

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If you don’t want to be monogamous don’t get married. It’s really simple.

That doesn’t mean swinging or playing together etc as that is sometimes intimate just in a different way from what I’ve gathered there are tons of people who are good at that and view it purely as sport/fun with their significant other. At least that’s how it reads from the posters here and some of the other people I’ve talked to who are into it. ENM is not that. That’s just fucking around on your spouse/partner and them having to be okay with it because reasons. 

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3 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

This thread needs to be in a different place, with more pictures and less words.

If Reddit has taught me anything, it’s that a whole bunch of the people that engage in this aren’t someone I wanna see naked.

21st century version of the nude beach. 

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8 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

I've known several married couples that "opened" their marriage up. All are now divorced.

Unless you are a Mormon husband and knows the secret password for your wife (and she doesn't) to get into heaven, polygamy and open marriages usually don't work in the long term. 

My thinking on this. If I want to bang other women, and my wife wants to bang other men, then what the fuck is the point in my staying married and putting up with her bullshit. I'd rather get divorced, bang other women and not have to put up with her or any other woman's shit.

Edited by crash_davis
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Unless you are a Mormon husband and knows the secret password for your wife (and she doesn't) to get into heaven, polygamy and open marriages usually don't work in the long term. 
My thinking on this. If I want to bang other women, and my wife wants to bang other men, then what the fuck is the point in my staying married and putting up with her bullshit. I'd rather get divorced, bang other women and not have to put up with her or any other woman's shit.

Yeah, I couldn’t see putting up with multiple women’s bullshit. The married pussy couldn’t be that good and all women are crazy. If you want strange, be single. Not sure how you plan on getting the tax break.
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2 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

This "ENM" thing seems to be getting its place in the sun, at least temporarily.  Does anyone have any experience with this either first or second hand?

The way I understand this ENM thing is that you have a legal spouse but you're actively dating other people?  That seems exhausting.  Now I have to maintain two relationships?  Ugh.  If it's a green light to fuck around, I guess that's less exhausting....?  I don't judge people for what they do with their genitals so no judgement one way or the other.  It just seems easier and less messy to get a pro if you want some green lighted side action.

WSJ had a story the other day about these people infiltrating the big dating apps but they don't mention that they're "open" until the very end.  They had another story today and the NYT has had a few pieces recently.  I guess it's out of the shadows now.

Thoughts from this august body?

Does your wife know you fuck hookers yet?

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1 minute ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Ever been down ‘Cun?  

I suspect there's a difference between you and your wife getting freaky....maybe with another person or two added to said freakiness....on a vacation or somesuch, versus establishing a full-on relationship between one of you and another person.  Sort of a "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" distinction.  

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1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

I suspect there's a difference between you and your wife getting freaky....maybe with another person or two added to said freakiness....on a vacation or somesuch, versus establishing a full-on relationship between one of you and another person.  Sort of a "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" distinction.  

Or down ‘Pulco?

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All they did was come up with a fancy and academic term for swingers. This practice isn't new. And if you browse profiles of the idiots that partake in this your not exactly finding Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. 

The ones the WSJ dug up were swamp donkeys.

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Regarding ENM, I've encountered more than a few of these out there and have heard "We are an ENM couple, I can arrange a call with my husband if you would like" more than a few times. There also more than a few with boyfriends as well.

The only weird situation I ever encountered was getting a video call and being told about a wedding she was attending. She showed me her outfit and asked my opinion. Her boyfriend was in the background and she put him on camera and said "say hi to F250." Then I had a short conversation with him about the video game he was playing.  Little awkward.

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:

What video game was it? I had a neighbor that was a swinger when she was married. She wasn’t terrible looking, her ex husband was kind of a troll. I know another couple that supposedly swings. She was fine as hell back in the day.

League of Legends, I think.

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3 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Expectation: Open the relationship, mid-40s dad will be swimming in hot hippie and co-ed flesh. 
 

Reality: Open the relationship, mid-40s mom now swimming in younger penis while dad has another movie night with kids. 

200w.gif?cid=6c09b952kr8n2e4doanp22wnzle

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2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Ever been down ‘Cun?  

 

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Or down ‘Pulco?

#slitslam2017  

Dammit McMurray, I had something for this!  You stay quiet, I'll go! 

I know some folks that openly practice this and I know some folks who are doing it on the sly.  With consenting folks and a clean bill of health, I say---have at it.  Not for me only because the thought of talking to another couple about anything other than traffic or the weather makes my fucking teeth hurt.  But as Wayne once said, "I ain't one of ya, but I guess you're here to stay..."  

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2 hours ago, orange dream said:

That, sir, is not an answer.

No, I haven, and no, it’s not.

That was one of my original points.  If you’re getting the green light or whatever, go with a high end pro.  Why date and have a girlfriend or something?

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15 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

No, I haven, and no, it’s not.

That was one of my original points.  If you’re getting the green light or whatever, go with a high end pro.  Why date and have a girlfriend or something?

Do they accept Green Stamps or Best Buy Coupons?

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