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Ted Cruz is a piece of shit


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6 hours ago, tchookem said:

Ted Cruz makes DeSantis look charming. The only reason this isn't getting mentioned is because when Ted showed Trump his belly it eliminated him as a candidate to be taken seriously in the GOP.

Ted's reached his apex, he just does't have the self-awareness to know it.

Same with Greg Abbott.  He doesn't realize he's never going to get a job in D.C.

And Ted still doesn't know how fucking whiney he sounds.  

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19 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

My god, if ever there was a "every accusation is a confession" meme, this is it folks.  You can shut down the internet.  

The idea that there is a single woman on this planet who could POSSIBLY think "my current man is not satisfying me.....if only Ted Cruz would show up to ravage me" is perhaps the most outlandish thing I've ever heard of.

And I've heard a lot of aggies say they are on track to win a football national title next season.

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37 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

The idea that there is a single woman on this planet who could POSSIBLY think "my current man is not satisfying me.....if only Ted Cruz would show up to ravage me" is perhaps the most outlandish thing I've ever heard of.

And I've heard a lot of aggies say they are on track to win a football national title next season.

Surely, you jest.

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35 minutes ago, CTC2 said:

That’s a curse. Texas teams lose when he attempts to band wagon. 

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5 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Calling them wienies....it's like he's never looked in a mirror or listened to himself talk.

Yeah, that was his other "tell."  Call 'em Betas, or Cucks, or Pussies, or F***, or whatever else terminology they throw around in hateland...but "wienies", Ted?  There had to be a few hundred MAGA 'tough guys' in the crowd that were Pavlovian clapping that looked at one another like, "Did he just Wienies?  Like the shit we called the little guys in Kindergarten?  Why?"   

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If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

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30 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

Asking him how his kids are doing.   It sounds nice and all but is really an awful thing to say to him.

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40 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

Just say “no offense” first and everything after is good to go. 

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52 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

He feeds off the hate. Seriously, he gets off to it. Heckling him just reinforces to him that he's owning the libs. The best thing to do is just ignore him and act like he doesn't exist. 

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2 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Asking him how his kids are doing.   It sounds nice and all but is really an awful thing to say to him.

Tell him you're praying for him, and that you hope his kids love him as much as your kids love you, and that you hope his wife loves him a fraction of how much she loves you.

1 hour ago, GenXer said:

I’m gonna ask him if he’s gonna work the Trump phone bank like a bitch again. 

I'd tell him that I heard a rumor from a President that Ted's dad is a Cuban Communist who killed JFK.

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On 12/19/2023 at 5:17 PM, Biff Tannen said:

If I somehow run into him in New Orleans, I need to find a way to tell him he's a fucking horrible person, embarrassment to the state of Texas, and an all around pussy without getting yelled at by my wife and friends.  They don't like it when I voice my opinions after multiple drinks in public, but god dammit, it will be so warranted.

I suggest you toss him a beer can ala the Astros World Series parade version only this time make sure he's looking the other way. After all, it's a celebration. Whose celebrating what is a matter of opinion.

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I get that he was playing to the crowd of stupids who think Jeff Dunham is a misunderstood genius.  But a sitting U.S. Senator-who fancies himself a true Alpha Male-used the terms "wienies" and "poopie pants" over the course of one minute at a rather serious political conference.  

That's the kinda stuff my 3rd grader comes home with after she finishes school, "Daddy, the boys in my class are so weird.  They think saying stuff like wienies, poopie pants, and all that gross stuff is funny."  And I have to tell that to just ignore them, and they'll eventually grow up and realize potty humor isn't funny.  Welp, Cruz proved once again, I don't know what in the fuck is going on anymore.  

I'm guessing next year Ted brings up boobies, wee-wee's, and ting-tangs.  All referring to Donald's impressive physique no doubt.  

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I think Ted was hoping "Poopie Pants Biden" was gonna stick like "Lyin' Ted" or "Crooked Hillary."  Instead the only thing sticking is Heidi's hair after she takes load after load to the face like a Lee Krasner canvas.  

There's no shortage of examples of primary opponents eventually cowering in fear to the eventual nominee, doing their bidding, and even serving alongside them in their new administrations.  But people like Ted just took it to an unfathomable level the way he just tries to damn hard to be like Trump.  But that fucking face of his, and lack of spine just won't allow it.  

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1 hour ago, South Austin said:

I’m was waiting for Lobo to work in a Heidislut remark. Well done, good sir.

It was really architected to mention Lee Kasner in a low-brow sexual thread derail started by Ted himself at CPAC.  That’s not easy to do man. 

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