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luke duke

Pranking your kids

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LukeDuke taking it strong to the hole.  I've messed with my kids from time to time but that's next level.  

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I remember a prank my Dad pulled when I was 4 or 5. He bought a starter's pistol and blanks. When he got home drunk he kicked open the door, yelled "Die motherfuckers!" and fired the gun several rounds.

Good times.

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LD gonna be paying triple the amount an Apple watch costs in counseling bills when she's 16 after doing this.  Funny prank but only when you actually have the watch to give them afterward.   If she is really expecting this and you've built it up, giving her the fake watch will gouge huge chunks out of your relationship with her.  Nothing like your 12yo screaming  Fucking asshole, I hate you!  while slamming her door shut on her birthday.

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42 minutes ago, RPM said:

I remember a prank my Dad pulled when I was 4 or 5. He bought a starter's pistol and blanks. When he got home drunk he kicked open the door, yelled "Die motherfuckers!" and fired the gun several rounds.

Good times.

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10 hours ago, used2b said:

That's mean.

Agreed.  Seems more mean than funny, unless you are actually giving a real apple watch after she opens the prank box.

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1 hour ago, RPM said:

I remember a prank my Dad pulled when I was 4 or 5. He bought a starter's pistol and blanks. When he got home drunk he kicked open the door, yelled "Die motherfuckers!" and fired the gun several rounds.

Good times.

He give you a carton of smokes for Christmas?

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Not sure if this was really a prank or just smart thinking on my father's part,  but one year at Christmas he got my stepbrother and I to move an extremely heavy package from my grandmother's house to our house under the guise of it being a present for my aunt. On Christmas morning it was revealed to be a new family television set that he had tricked us into moving so he wouldn't have to do it.

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17 hours ago, luke duke said:

My oldest turns 12 later this week. She has been asking for an Apple watch. I bought this (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VLRLNBJ/) for her. I'm going to put it in my wife's Apple watch box for her to unwrap. I expect to be put in the cheapest old folks home she can find in 40 years.

 

12 year old girls are renowned for being able to maturely react to being pranked.  

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I think it's a great idea to start creating trust issues between male authority figures right as girls enter puberty.

I look forward to seeing Luke Duke's daughter on the pole in about 7 years. 

 

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, 66BUFF said:

He give you a carton of smokes for Christmas?

He wasn't going to share his Camels with the likes of me. I had to steal them along with his W.L. Weller.

Edited by RPM

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Stopped for fuel at a rest stop in curbstompyourwife oklahoma and took off while he was in the shitter.  Gonna get stabbed for sure on that one.

 

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Posted (edited)

On April Fool's Day last year I was digging through my laptop bag and told my then 12 yo Son that work had given me an Ipad and I didn't want to use it as I already had a laptop. Told him he could have it. He got super excited and couldn't believe it. I then reached into my laptop and pulled this out :

CVS Health Sterile Eye Pad 1 5/8in x 2 5/8in (with Photos, Prices ...

He was angry. It was worth it

Edited by BrazilHorn

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I remember coming home from school one afternoon in 7th grade and my parents had moved and not left a forwarding address. 

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3 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

On April Fool's Day last year I was digging through my laptop bag and told my then 12 yo Son that work had given me an Ipad and I didn't want to use it as I already had a laptop. Told him he could have it. He got super excited and couldn't believe it. I then reached into my laptop and pulled this out :

CVS Health Sterile Eye Pad 1 5/8in x 2 5/8in (with Photos, Prices ...

He was angry. It was worth it

I've got to remember that one for the grandkids next year.

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1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

I remember coming home from school one afternoon in 7th grade and my parents had moved and not left a forwarding address. 

OKAY, need more details, aftermath, your reaction etc. etc.  Don't just lob that matzah ball out there like that.

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4 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

OKAY, need more details, aftermath, your reaction etc. etc.  Don't just lob that matzah ball out there like that.

Oh my, no, sorry for the misunderstanding. I lifted that from a comedian I heard decades ago. Dave Lamont? Maybe. Kinda deadpan delivery, ala Steven Wright. Or maybe Daingerfield. Life was tough then, tough when I was growing up.. I can see that too. Honestly don't remember but yeah, it's just a line. 

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, El Diablo said:

I remember coming home from school one afternoon in 7th grade and my parents had moved and not left a forwarding address. 

Junior year in college my folks moved three states away between the time I went home for Easter and the end of the semester.

(totally understandable, if I'm being honest) 

Edited by NWBuck

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My grandfather pranked my mom and her sisters when they were kids.

Once he borrowed a live rooster from a friend and had it in a cage in the living room. Woke everyone real early crowing.

Another time he snuck under my mom's bed and gargled water and made monster noises.

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My son was fifteen when the millennium was ushered in.  He had several of his friends over to celebrate the new century.  They had been concerned about the whole Y2K scare.  So, at the stroke of midnight, I flipped the power off for the whole house.  There was a stunned silence from the den for a few seconds, followed by "Not cool, Dad".  It was worth resetting all the clocks in the  house just for that few seconds of sheer panic.  

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47 minutes ago, bmbmd said:

My son was fifteen when the millennium was ushered in.  He had several of his friends over to celebrate the new century.  They had been concerned about the whole Y2K scare.  So, at the stroke of midnight, I flipped the power off for the whole house.  There was a stunned silence from the den for a few seconds, followed by "Not cool, Dad".  It was worth resetting all the clocks in the  house just for that few seconds of sheer panic.  

I’ll have to remember this one for Y3K

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On 6/9/2020 at 6:16 AM, mulletpelini said:

Stopped for fuel at a rest stop in curbstompyourwife oklahoma and took off while he was in the shitter.  Gonna get stabbed for sure on that one.

 

When I was around 4 or so we were on a road trip.  We stopped at a rest stop in Arkansas.  My dad finished up and was rushing out while I was washing my hands and I was the only one left inside.  When I tried to get out, I pulled on the door and it wouldn't budge.  I started freaking out and kept pulling as hard as I could.  Then I heard the old man giggling on the other side of the door.

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Hilarious. But, as pointed out, only if you’re giving the actual watch then. Which is why I’d never do this, because I’m not buying the watch.

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1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

From the age of 15, I convinced my dad that I got a girl pregnant on every April 1st until I turned 42. 

Is that when you came out?

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My biological father did something similar to me throughout my child hood. I stopped believing anything he ever said about anything around age 12. Still dont. 

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On 6/10/2020 at 10:23 AM, strangulation! said:

your shenanigans are cheeky and fun, luke duke's are cruel and tragic

So help me God, I'm gonna pistol whip the next person that says the word shenanigans. 

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3 hours ago, lateshow said:

So help me God, I'm gonna pistol whip the next person that says the word shenanigans. 

Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

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6 hours ago, Frank The Tank said:

You mean shenanigans!?

No Flingers.

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My step-nephew is in town.  16 years old.  Staying for a long weekend.  He's an OK kid, but kind of an idiot (like most 16 year olds).  For example, he drove up with his older brother yesterday from Houston and somehow ended up in Waco instead of Dripping Springs before he realized he wasn't following his GPS correctly.

Well, he proceeded to shoot my wife in the arm with an air soft gun yesterday afternoon.  Not an accident.  Just wanted to get a rise out of her.  I didn't find out about it until I got home from work.  She said she would handle it, so I didn't confront him or intervene.

He loves my wife's homemade blackberry jam.  So much so, that he asked for it for Christmas and requested a jar to take home after this weekend.  My wife is making eggs, sausage and biscuits for breakfast this morning.  She had a bit of blackberry jam left in the jar that is currently in the fridge.  She added a finely diced habanero to it last night.  I'm waiting for a report on how her revenge is received.  He hates all things spicy (to the point that he won't even eat bell peppers because they're too hot), so I fully anticipate a complete and total meltdown.  

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1 hour ago, Spaulding Smails said:

He loves my wife's homemade blackberry jam.  So much so, that he asked for it for Christmas and requested a jar to take home after this weekend.  My wife is making eggs, sausage and biscuits for breakfast this morning.  She had a bit of blackberry jam left in the jar that is currently in the fridge.  She added a finely diced habanero to it last night.  I'm waiting for a report on how her revenge is received.  He hates all things spicy (to the point that he won't even eat bell peppers because they're too hot), so I fully anticipate a complete and total meltdown.  

We will need the update on this one and video if it is available.

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On 6/12/2020 at 10:20 AM, orange dream said:

We will need the update on this one and video if it is available.

Did not get video.  Typical 16 year old reaction.  Tried to be a bad ass, then walked outside to "eat his breakfast on the porch" where I found that he threw his food in the trash.  Would never admit that it was too hot.  And yes, he needs his ass whipped.  I took him kayak fishing yesterday morning.  He swears he's a fishing pro.  Throwing a baitcaster.  He spent 75% of the time fighting backlashes.  Then, when we loaded up the kayaks, he didn't follow my directions on where to put everything in the bed of the truck.  Which resulted in my nice carbon fiber paddle falling out and getting run over by another vehicle.  So, that was a $300 fishing kayak fishing trip.  

I have other stories on here about my BIL and his wife / step-kids.  Unfortunately, this whole weekend was pretty much par for the course.

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On 6/10/2020 at 2:59 PM, Jameslaw121 said:

From the age of 15, I convinced my dad that I got a girl pregnant on every April 1st until I turned 42. 

The first time sounds like it might be a pretty good story....spill it.

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On 6/11/2020 at 4:01 PM, gyroprotagonist said:

Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

TGI Fridays?

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Posted (edited)
On 6/9/2020 at 5:46 PM, El Diablo said:

I remember coming home from school one afternoon in 7th grade and my parents had moved and not left a forwarding address. 

 

On 6/10/2020 at 8:33 AM, NWBuck said:

Junior year in college my folks moved three states away between the time I went home for Easter and the end of the semester.

(totally understandable, if I'm being honest) 

so, totally true story, and its gonna sound like my parents hated me, but the truth is, they just dont communicate very well. 

when I was 12, dad was stationed in Hawaii,  I visited my grandparents in Colorado for a month over the summer.   when I returned after the month, they picked me up at the airport, and then drove me to an entirely different house on an entirely different base.   (from Ft Shafter to Scoffield Barracks).   all my shit was packed in boxes and i got to unbox my room as my welcome home present.  Not once did they mention they planned on moving.

Then just before my second semester at UT, I bought a round trip ticket from Philly to Austin, Jan to May.   I knew my dad was going to be restationed to West Point in April, but due to school issues for my brothers, only Dad was in West Point.  I fly back to Philly international in May, and my parents turn left onto I-95 instead of right.  yep, you guessed it... they fucking moved without telling me again.  They "thought" they told me... I was like, uh no, if I fucking knew you had moved, I would have changed my fucking plane ticket to Newark instead of flying 3.5 hours to philly and then having to drive 3 more hours to West Point.

and finally after my Junior year, I fly back Newark and there are 2 primary entrances to West Point,  we always took the 2nd entrance.... this time, they take the first gate..... and yep, you guessed it, Dad got new quarters, and they had moved in OCTOBER to them... its 7 months later and again they never bothered to tell me, again, they thought they had...

So yeah.  3 times in my life. I left my parents place and took a plane and 3 times ive returned to an entirely different home and having no idea it had happened

Edited by AUS-97HORN

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