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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet


Coach pop a bitch

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We might win a game or two next year. Of course, I won't be able to go to any games. Truth is, things for me ain't going to good at all. I had to sell of my house, barn and the ten acres. I'm living in an RV. All I kept was a 50 foot plot, the pigs and a worm farm. If only I had the money back I sent that TV preacher that was screwin' the hockey player. 

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Ok, now I can finally talk.

Sark mentioned to me last week that the offense will be two QB sets running, about 85 to 92% of the time, what he called "my super special trick-aroni TD play," -- snap to Ewers, backfield toss to Arch who throws it back to Ewers for the TD. 

In a first ever they're awarded a dual Heisman due to "exceptional kick-assery" before defeating Georgia in the national championship, 136 to 9. A slight disappointment from the regular season 294 to 3 game but nevertheless fairly satisfying for most UT fans.

Then Ewers goes pro. Arch takes over. Horns go undefeated next two seasons, rinse and repeat.

He said he didn't care if I spilled the beans here, as long as it was after the Ewers announcement.

"Just let them all know this is all part of my master plan so that they'll shut the fuck up already. Thanks bruh."

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1 hour ago, perfectchaos007 said:

Well he gets to work with all new receivers next year. To be better than last year  his throws, decision making, and mechanics will all need to improve 

It will be good for the new receivers to have a three year starter to break in with.

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4 minutes ago, shadow_operative said:

he has matured so much from when he came here with that fat face, ugly beard, and mullet. i’m honestly more impressed with his growth than most any player i can think of, due to his stardom and exaltation from the time he was 16 years old. the kid who showed up looking like he didn’t take himself seriously has grown into a much more mature and professional young man. its one thing to grow like that when you’re an underrated, unappreciated 3*player from BFE, Texas, but its whole nother thing to work on yourself and improve that much when you’ve been put on a pedestal your entire life.

there’s 1,000 ryan perriloux’s for every one guy like Quinn. when he got here i did not think that QE had what it took to take himself seriously, and work his ass off as if he *wasn’t* the chosen one, but insyead a no-name guy who would have to bust his ass just to get PT, and he has summarily proved me wrong in that regard. i struggle to name another player in his position who’s shown the willingness to humble himself, work, and grow the way Quinn has. and because of this work, QE is now in a position to where he can truly achieve legendary status, both at Texas and in college football as a whole. really proud of him, and extremely excited to see the final product next season. Hook em Quinn! 🤘🏼 

Omg Derka'ed.

I'm kidding, solid post.

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1 hour ago, MotownHorn said:

So what was the explanation? He needed to work on his penmanship?

 

1 hour ago, Tex-19 said:

You joke but it probably was related to that little trading card ad

 

1 hour ago, troph said:

he was waiting on video production, duh.

 

 

1 hour ago, The_Great_Hornsby said:

I think it was that they had to film it. Probably took a while to film that masterpiece. The 2% chance he didnt return was if they decided he had a career in film production. 

 

1 hour ago, BurntOrange&White said:

It was part of his NIL deal with Panini, basically a commercial. 

yes basically this, which Bobby confirmed this afternoon. He said something like, you can't just film that in a day and have it ready tomorrow, but he did also say behind the scenes everyone knew he was coming back (and you can see coaches and players acting accordingly) so I guess they weren't in any great rush for the announcement. 

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9 minutes ago, OU Sucks said:

He spelled "back" wrong, though. We're doomed.

 

2 minutes ago, Not a cat said:

I'm coming bulk?  Already inspiring teammates to hit the weight room.  That's a leader 

The word you're struggling over is "bank".

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