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I'm giving you a million dollars...


Parliament
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Just a thought experiment, guys.  Might even learn something.  :)

I like you, so I'm gonna give you a bag full of random denominations.  I promise you it isn't drug money, or marked by the FBI.  Only rule is you can't declare it on taxes,  so you gotta spend it discreetly.

What do you do with it, and how long does it take to run it out, if you even can.  I'll start:

I rent, so I'll pay 1-2 months with cash every year.  Do most of my Walmart and gas buying with cash, and the rest with a credit card, just for looks.  Buy guns at shows with cash and just accumulate them.  Plenty of gun accumulators die with >$250k of weapons in the safe(s).  I could use that money up in 40 years, and never get pinched.

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Whores.  I'm being serious.  

Of course, I'm not spending the entire million on them so here's what I would do with the rest.  Buy some real estate legit and use the cash for renovations and whatnot.  Subs like cash for various reasons and if you do it over a 5-10 year period, it's easy to hide.

To tie to the two together, I had a "regular" in the Northeast.  She was conservative with her spending but at one point, realized she had $200K cash in a safe at her house.  (By cash, I mean cash.)  Helped her launder it.  She owned a house and gradually paid for add ons and renovations over a few years.

That'll be $9.95 for the newsletter.

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Why is everyone trying to launder it instead of listing the cool shit they’d buy/do?  Degenerates. 
 

Id quit work, buy a used rv, and live a little bit of everywhere for 3-9 months at a time (California, Colorado, Alaska, Mexico, Nunavut). Assuming no major medical bills, I bet I could make that last 8-10 years.  

Edited by UT_OB1
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I think the single largest impediment to spending this cash without laundering it would be the wife getting us caught. 
 

The easiest thing would be buy groceries with cash to start. That’s $1500 a month, 2-300 at a time. 

maybe it’d work to buy prepaid debit cards to pay utilities?

don’t know how I’d burn big amounts. 

Possibly try to find a way to pay someone cash for home improvement projects to turn it into property value?

it really would be easier to launder it into 500k of clean money after taxes and laundry fee to use as I please. 

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22 hours ago, UT_OB1 said:

Why is everyone trying to launder it instead of listing the cool shit they’d buy/do?  Degenerates. 
 

Id quit work, buy a used rv, and live a little bit of everywhere for 3-9 months at a time (California, Colorado, Alaska, Mexico, Nunavut). Assuming no major medical bills, I bet I could make that last 8-10 years.  

I retire in a couple of months.  This is my plan.  Already have the RV.

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On 11/25/2022 at 11:58 PM, UT_OB1 said:

Why is everyone trying to launder it instead of listing the cool shit they’d buy/do?  Degenerates. 

You can't really do much cool shit if it isn't above board.  Buying HEB with cash for the next 25 years seems like a lot of opportunity for someone to accidentally stumble upon the stash.  

I don't need to be worrying about that 'suitcase' in the closet for the next 25 years.  I need to find a surefire way to launder it, or I make 200 bundles of $5,000 and anonymously give it to churches and charities.

2 months it's either converted to legit, or given away. After that I sleep well again.

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  • 1 month later...

My dentist's office is the only place I go that doesn't take cash, so I guess I could let my teeth rot out while bopping around buying whatever I normally buy. So it'd last 20 years easy since we live simply and don't owe much. Maybe knock a year or two off that because I would be buyin a restored Triumph TR-6, as well as taking a couple of extra trips just to bum around Mexico. But then again, traveling through Mexico (my Mexico, not some gotdam yell-at-Pedro-in-English-in-Cabo Mexico) doesn't cost any more than daily life in the US, if that.

Since I have to keep this cash off the grid, I guess instead of letting it all inflate away I'd have multiple things done on or around the house. Go down to the discrete gold shop and buy some ingots or maybe sell them back, just so I'm not stuck explaining why all my bills are 20 years out of date.

Or maybe I'd be all noble and shit and pile 900,000 of it in my restored TR-6 and drive to my impoverished home town, pull up at one doctor's office after another and ask to anonymously help out whoever had insurmountable medical bills. That'd get rid of most of it in a day or two and leave me free to drive around in a classic British convertible.

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