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Posted
Lol not w his money.  W political favors and tax breaks etc?  You bet your ass he will.  
Trump will let Elon bomb the fuck out of a small brown country for shits & giggles for a few billion.
Posted
56 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

I would argue there is a built-in return. He has little use as a witness because he is a perjuror and a criminal.   OTOH, anything he said previously - or any witness in Trump‘s defense who mentions Weisellberg’s favorable to Trump testimony - gets to be crossed on his perjury guilty plea. 

I could be wrong, but I personally think his worth as a witness in front of a jury is pretty damn low right now.

Will take your word for it.  

One thing the last 8 years have confirmed for me is I’m glad I never seriously considered law school.

number one, my grades wouldn’t have put me anywhere desirable.

numero two, the bullshit factor is overwhelming.  I’d have been imprisoned years ago for beating up opposing counsel.

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Posted
27 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

But you see, in the Latin alphabet, Jehovah begins with an I.

dammit, we named the dog with an "I" as in "Indiana!"  

This hits close to home as I was recanting a story about meeting Cartaphilus once in Toledo, Spain.  My family and wife's family don't believe it, but they totally believe that he struck Jesus and has been condemned to walk the Earth forever.  

What cracks me up lately is that God passed on the rapture/second coming during world wars, genocides, famines, plagues, floods, hurricanes, and nuclear destruction.  But he's totally sending his boy back to save some shitheads in a country he never memtioned in the name of the worst fucking piece of shit who'll probably outlive Cartaphilus in Donald Trump.  

Guy hasn't talke to us in 2000 years but yeah, this 400 pound fucking failure is totally is his messenger.  Than again, this fucking simulation/timeline, who the fuck knows?  

On the one hand, we could not be more alone than we are right now in this situation.  On the other hand, we are more connected to something we cannot see than we ever dreamed.  All I know is my love for my girls is in my bones.  Whatever made us, it made me capable of love and connection I could not possibly have conceived of even after this encounter I mention in Toledo, Spain 25+ years ago.  And their lives could be very well have vast misery visited upon them by a gameshow host.  Politics and Religion aside, somebody is fucking with us...

Posted
10 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

  We're busy arguing whether the penalty should be clipping or unsportsmanlike conduct on the dude who just pulled a gun on the field and shot the opposing RB.  The system of rules and yellow flags and 15 yard penalties is not equipped to handle a LB who pulls a gun and shoots opposing players.  

Ain't life a bitch.

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Posted
7 hours ago, Captainant said:

its outragous that we've waited THREE FUCKING YEARS to start shaking the tree on this. What the absolute fuck. I mean we all could plainly see it with our fucking eyes as it was happening, but to have receipts just brings that rage back

Fucking Garland, man. 

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Posted
15 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

dammit, we named the dog with an "I" as in "Indiana!"  

This hits close to home as I was recanting a story about meeting Cartaphilus once in Toledo, Spain.  My family and wife's family don't believe it, but they totally believe that he struck Jesus and has been condemned to walk the Earth forever.  

What cracks me up lately is that God passed on the rapture/second coming during world wars, genocides, famines, plagues, floods, hurricanes, and nuclear destruction.  But he's totally sending his boy back to save some shitheads in a country he never memtioned in the name of the worst fucking piece of shit who'll probably outlive Cartaphilus in Donald Trump.  

Guy hasn't talke to us in 2000 years but yeah, this 400 pound fucking failure is totally is his messenger.  Than again, this fucking simulation/timeline, who the fuck knows?  

On the one hand, we could not be more alone than we are right now in this situation.  On the other hand, we are more connected to something we cannot see than we ever dreamed.  All I know is my love for my girls is in my bones.  Whatever made us, it made me capable of love and connection I could not possibly have conceived of even after this encounter I mention in Toledo, Spain 25+ years ago.  And their lives could be very well have vast misery visited upon them by a gameshow host.  Politics and Religion aside, somebody is fucking with us...

My good Sir, the Lord God chats all the time in the attic of the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City.   We are not talking about “feeling” what God wants, we are talking about the 12 Elders actually hearing God talk to them.

He talks about religion, a little prophecy, and how much He hates the NIL.    He says that giving BYU that bullshit national championship tested all of His powers, but He still has enough gas in the tank to make sure the Aggies never win anything. 

 

Posted
2 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

I would argue there is a built-in return. He has little use as a witness because he is a perjuror and a criminal.   OTOH, anything he said previously - or any witness in Trump‘s defense who mentions Weisellberg’s favorable to Trump testimony - gets to be crossed on his perjury guilty plea. 

I could be wrong, but I personally think his worth as a witness in front of a jury is pretty damn low right now.

Also for a bit of perspective, most plea bargains involve no cooperation at all, other than the defendant cooperating by pleading guilty. 

You raise a good point that his credibility is now complete shit. 

And it appears he wasn't on Braggs witness list. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Will take your word for it.  

One thing the last 8 years have confirmed for me is I’m glad I never seriously considered law school.

number one, my grades wouldn’t have put me anywhere desirable.

numero two, the bullshit factor is overwhelming.  I’d have been imprisoned years ago for beating up opposing counsel.

I’m wrapping up school in May. 

Your numero two is why I will not be practicing. It is absolutely not what I thought it would be. 

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Posted
27 minutes ago, Stilicho said:

I’m wrapping up school in May. 

Your numero two is why I will not be practicing. It is absolutely not what I thought it would be. 

I know a guy that went to Northwestern for Law School, top his class, the whole nine yards, great academic, pick of the litter for jobs, got a great one.  One of his first cases was an arbitration between a chicken distribution company and a smallish but successful family run chicken restaurant chain.  The parties had to be kept separate during the arbitration over a price rise, after the initial offer to the chain, the son looked at the father and said, "Daddy, you want me to go in there and whip all their asses?".  

Like most things, it's likely not what you imagined.  

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Posted
59 minutes ago, BamaATL said:

Daddy, you want me to go in there and whip all their asses?".  

 image.png.31c197dc20a1fc6c480a55b9ab8daf96.png

 

Doing bidness in the South seems like the most fucked up endeavor.

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Posted
13 hours ago, Red Five said:

"After the trophy presentation, we're going to be taking a long hard look at what happened on the sidelines and on the field the last three seasons. Ideally, we will have a punishment to dole out approximately four years from now."

Fixed it for the NCAA this year 

Posted

There is no absolute safe haven from litigation bullshit, but the appellate side of the coin comes as close as anything.  If I hadn't landed in that area, I'd have burned out on commercial litigation a long time ago.

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Posted

 

18 hours ago, jw4381 said:

The simulation: “Hey, let’s give this guy the surname ‘Cheesy brother!’ Oh, wait, too much? Yeah let’s dial that back a bit”

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Posted
16 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Will take your word for it.  

One thing the last 8 years have confirmed for me is I’m glad I never seriously considered law school.

number one, my grades wouldn’t have put me anywhere desirable.

numero two, the bullshit factor is overwhelming.  I’d have been imprisoned years ago for beating up opposing counsel.

You might be underthinking it. As a trial attorney, there are always a few things that the opposing counsel will go after if they apply to my witness:

1) Is witness being paid by the defense?

2) Does the witness have a prior crime of moral turpitude on their record?

3) Has the witness been caught lying on the stand? 

Of all 3, the last one is by far the worst. And usually that takes the form of showing, via circumstantial evidence, that something the witness said is untrue. Rarely, if ever, have I seen a witness take the stand with an actual conviction for perjury on their record.

If you were a juror, why would you trust a single word that comes out of the mouth of someone who will have to admit that on a prior occasion, after taking an oath (exactly like the oath he just took in front of you), he intentionally lied on the stand? In fact, as a juror, you will be instructed by the judge that due to the witness's prior lies, you are free to disregard every single word that comes out of the their mouth.

 

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Posted
13 hours ago, BamaATL said:

I know a guy that went to Northwestern for Law School, top his class, the whole nine yards, great academic, pick of the litter for jobs, got a great one.  One of his first cases was an arbitration between a chicken distribution company and a smallish but successful family run chicken restaurant chain.  The parties had to be kept separate during the arbitration over a price rise, after the initial offer to the chain, the son looked at the father and said, "Daddy, you want me to go in there and whip all their asses?".  

Like most things, it's likely not what you imagined.  


I’ve done most of my intern/extern/ALI work through the university indigent civil clinic, in Oklahoma, which might explain my distaste for working the profession. 

It is incredibly difficult to watch everyday folks get hammered by the process itself. Add in the typical array of attorney tricks (evidence dumping the day before the hearing in my case) and judges who arbitrarily ignore legitimate warning signs of violence, it has become one of the most fucked up experiences of my life. Caseloads are so large, and without any really money behind you, most of the attorneys have just accepted the losses and move on to try and win the next.

There’s a helplessness to it that drives me mad. 

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Posted

Supreme Court, Congress, etc. are all going to abdicate responsibility and kick the can down the road to leave it up to the American people to ultimately decide if the US will collapse under authoritarian rule. Vote red for fascism. Vote blue for democracy. 

It was always going to be this way and it will come to a head in November and the months after. 

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Posted
23 hours ago, dcbc said:

There is no absolute safe haven from litigation bullshit, but the appellate side of the coin comes as close as anything.  If I hadn't landed in that area, I'd have burned out on commercial litigation a long time ago.

Yeah, when I started patent litigation, it was mostly pretty straightforward with a relatively small bar of former engineers that didn't believe in bullshit games and all mostly knew each other. 

About 20 years ago, as biglaw got more and more into it, it got worse and worse. I don't do it anymore except from a comfortable sideline seat. 

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Posted
On 3/5/2024 at 7:23 AM, dcbc said:

There is no absolute safe haven from litigation bullshit, but the appellate side of the coin comes as close as anything.  If I hadn't landed in that area, I'd have burned out on commercial litigation a long time ago.

 

pos repped from my wife, who agrees 1000%. 

 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

pos repped from my wife, who agrees 1000%. 

huh my wife is about to leave commercial litigation as well, she's burnt out after 4 years of it and dealing with clown fiesta courts and disorganized clerks

Posted
39 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

pos repped from my wife, who agrees 1000%. 

 

It's nice having a fixed record that doesn't change and an office phone that doesn't ring.

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

According to her, its also nice not having to depose witnesses. 

 

No discovery and (for me), no opposing counsel or clients. 

 

Happiest damned lawyer in the room, I am.

Edited by dcbc
Posted
6 minutes ago, dcbc said:

No discovery and (for me), no opposing counsel or clients. 

 

Happiest damned lawyer in the room, I am.

I hate paper discovery (other than production) far worse than depositions.  I actually rather like depositions.  You can practice listening to answers and going where it takes you in a relatively safe environment.

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Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I hate paper discovery (other than production) far worse than depositions.  I actually rather like depositions.  You can practice listening to answers and going where it takes you in a relatively safe environment.

My last depo had a French interpreter.  It took three times longer than it should have.

 

I recognize that there are lawyers who need the action to stay engaged.  I know a lot of them, and to each his/her own.  But as someone who is perfectly content to read, write, and solve the law's little puzzles day in and day out, while take breaks to post on Surly, this side of the law is . . .

 

8i8r5h.jpg

Edited by dcbc
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Posted
54 minutes ago, dcbc said:

My last depo had a French interpreter.  It took three times longer than it should have.

 

I recognize that there are lawyers who need the action to stay engaged.  I know a lot of them, and to each his/her own.  But as someone who is perfectly content to read, write, and solve the law's little puzzles day in and day out, while take breaks to post on Surly, this side of the law is . . .

 

8i8r5h.jpg

Yeah mostly same here, particularly in my dotage. 

I used to find grinding patents and filing tms boring af.  It is, but overall not a bad way to make a living. 

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Posted

I have a bunch of patents, and for a long time I was bored to death even reviewing my own applications to assist the patent attorney.  Eventually I had to take over management of my (former) company's patent portfolio, and I grew to (kind of) like the minutiae and use of the language.  I mean, not as much as doing my regular invent/develop/design work, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

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Posted
1 hour ago, dcbc said:

I recognize that there are lawyers who need the action to stay engaged.  I know a lot of them, and to each his/her own. 

I'm one of those.   No apologies.  It takes a particular personality type -- that probably speaks poorly of me, but at least I'm self aware.

I'm also one of the dying breed of litigators who is also a regular appellate practitioner (and pretty damned good at it).  I like both aspects.

But yes, dealing with....people....has become more challenging these last few years.  As our society descends into completely fractious disorder, it's fucking tough.

3 hours ago, Captainant said:

she's burnt out after 4 years of it and dealing with clown fiesta courts and disorganized clerks

This is the hardest part, actually -- the "Calvinball" nature of the courts.  It used to be, you could follow a court's opinions and record, and "what the law is" on certain issues, and advise your clients with some predictability as to how they should act to avoid risk, and/or what the court was likely to do once we're before that court.  Now....who knows?  Sure, the law says X, Fox News and Trump say Y, so....yeah, I can't tell you how it will go.  On the "bright side," that's crystalizing more every day.  What would Trump/Paxton demand the court do?  Then that's what they'll do.  It really doesn't matter what the case law says.

That's frustrating as hell.  I can't tell you how many attorneys and decisionmaker I've talked to who are utterly exasperated by this state of affairs.  It makes it impossible to do business, and certainly impossible to do anything that might touch on "the public good" (because if it's good for the public....it's bad, and should be stopped).  

I started practicing law in a Constitutional Republic.  Today, I'm practicing law in a banana republic, and that's not what I fucking trained for.

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Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I'm one of those.   No apologies.  It takes a particular personality type -- that probably speaks poorly of me, but at least I'm self aware.

I'm also one of the dying breed of litigators who is also a regular appellate practitioner (and pretty damned good at it).  I like both aspects.

But yes, dealing with....people....has become more challenging these last few years.  As our society descends into completely fractious disorder, it's fucking tough.

Apologies?  It takes all kinds.  We've had some people roll through here who were very good writers, but that itch for the action has a shelf-life of about 5 years, after which time, they feel the compulsion to head back to the trenches.  

 

And having seen your appellate work (although I didn't know it was you at that time), I'll offer you a sincere tip of the cap because a trial lawyer who can put it down on paper with a good combination of brevity and clarity is greatly appreciated by people who do what I do.  A person who can do trial and appellate well is a rare commodity indeed, and, as you might imagine, I've seen the full gamut of briefing from a quality standpoint.  Oral argument can be helpful, but the briefs are where the rubber meets the road.    

Edited by dcbc
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Posted
5 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I have a bunch of patents, and for a long time I was bored to death even reviewing my own applications to assist the patent attorney.  Eventually I had to take over management of my (former) company's patent portfolio, and I grew to (kind of) like the minutiae and use of the language.  I mean, not as much as doing my regular invent/develop/design work, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

At one point in my career, I was with a firm that didn't really want to do patents other than litigation.  They didn't order me to fire my clients and let me keep them, but the whole episode was a little eye-opening.

That clued me into how much I actually like and respect most of my clients and enjoy working for and with them to achieve their goals, even if the work is not totally scintillating.  I have since had a couple of clients pass on, and sell their businesses under other circumstances, such as retirement.  Good for them, but still a bit of a bummer.  Turns out it's all about the people pretty much anyway.

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Posted

Having read so many casual ramblings from Surly lawyers, I'd be very interested in reading some legal writing from them, just to compare and contrast. 

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Posted

Well then allow me to regale you all with a brief I wrote in law school:

Milwaukee Nailgun Corp. v. Pato Testicles.  
 

it was awarded the order of the Coif

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Posted
3 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Well then allow me to regale you all with a brief I wrote in law school:

Milwaukee Nailgun Corp. v. Pato Testicles.  
 

it was awarded the order of the Coif

Pretty sure I saw a video of that ruling on Reddit.  

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Posted
11 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I don’t have the pic, but a friend of mine in Corpus who is down there fishing this week, found a flesh light washed up on the beach.  Some poor bastard on an oil rig is having to make do with his calloused, cancerous hand.  
 

oh, now I have a pic.  spacer.png

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Posted (edited)

The funnier thing is that was likely manufactured at a facility a few blocks from my office, off Burleson Rd here in Austin.   Nothing like mingling with both fleshlight, tesla and TPWD employees while I’m trying to pick up a sandwich for lunch.

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag
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