Jump to content
Both Tacos

How do use a bidet?

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

started eating more fiber and I use way less tp.

psyllium husk, baby.  metamucil is the most underrated supplement available in the world.  big healthy shits and wipe clean, truly a life changer. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, futureman said:

psyllium husk, baby.  metamucil is the most underrated supplement available in the world.  big healthy shits and wipe clean, truly a life changer. 

For real. A few scoops of fiber and you will have the most glorious shits ever. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

This bidet intrigues me.

I just started eating more fiber and I use way less tp. Before I would clog my toilet all the time.

Intrigued?  You have no idea the joy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been on the edge about getting one for years.  Finally did when the great TP rush of 2020 happened. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1).  Drag garden hose with spray nozzle through bathroom window.

2).  Sit on toilet then carefully insert nozzle and as much hose as you can.

3).  Turn on water full blast.

4).  ????

5).  Proshit

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you’re gonna spring for one don’t get the ones that mount to your shitter with the little bitch stream.  you want the commando 450. 
bidet_shutterstock_245198674.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/13/2020 at 12:32 PM, futureman said:

if you’re gonna spring for one don’t get the ones that mount to your shitter with the little bitch stream.  you want the commando 450. 
bidet_shutterstock_245198674.jpg

Gimme the logistics on this bad boy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait...that things sprays down. How are you supposed to contort your body so that you can get the spray onto your bunghole?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Hate said:

Wait...that things sprays down. How are you supposed to contort your body so that you can get the spray onto your bunghole?

Yeah, when I go to hotels with these, I am lost. My little “attach to toilet seat” model at home SEEMS superior, but I am assuming I’m just an idiot and can’t figure out how to use. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
if you’re gonna spring for one don’t get the ones that mount to your shitter with the little bitch stream.  you want the commando 450. 
bidet_shutterstock_245198674.jpg


Looks like a great way to get shit all over your balls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let’s talk about the added bonus of having a bidet. You get so used to a little wet pressure on your asshole and you are so confident in how clean it is that you have ZERO issue in asking to have your salet tossed. Believe me friends, ask and you shall receive. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

I just ordered one after beating around the bush for years. To clean assholes!

You won't regret it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bought a cheap one a year or so ago to try it out. I love it and regret not going to it sooner. 4 squares of tp and I'm done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You’d have to a an outlet near the toilet to accomplish that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Either need a GFCI outlet near the toilet or there are some models that can take warm water but you’d obviously need that plumbed.  Never seen a battery powered one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Living in the northland, tap water can be damn near ice cold during the winter. Is there a converter kit for a toilet-mounted bidet that heats the water? I don’t see how that would work. Batteries instead of electrical cords? 

Unless you have an especially temperature-sensitive anus, this is probably less of a concern than you may expect. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/12/2020 at 5:38 PM, futureman said:

I’ve started shitting in the backyard and using the hose on my asshole to wash up. 

this guy gets it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just installed a new bidet and got a call to go get my ass ate. The world works in mysterious ways. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, TKthunder2 said:

Either need a GFCI outlet near the toilet or there are some models that can take warm water but you’d obviously need that plumbed.  Never seen a battery powered one.

The fancier Japanese bidet seats have electric heaters built in, you can set the water temp regardless of incoming water temp (unless incoming is hotter than your set point - I haven't seen one with a chiller built in, yet). You won't find a battery powered one, electric heat takes a ton of power, batteries would be dead in your first use.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just installed a new bidet and got a call to go get my ass ate. The world works in mysterious ways. 

There must be an app that lets bitches know where the clean bungs are

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Just installed a new bidet and got a call to go get my ass ate. The world works in mysterious ways. 

having your girl eat your ass is a hell of a thing, but bidet or no bidet you should soap your starfish in the shower before letting her do that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, futureman said:

having your girl eat your ass is a hell of a thing, but bidet or no bidet you should soap your starfish in the shower before letting her do that. 

and make her gargle with lysol before kissing you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, futureman said:

having your girl eat your ass is a hell of a thing, but bidet or no bidet you should soap your starfish in the shower before letting her do that. 

I want to make one thing clear. I will never let my girl eat an unwashed ass... I also want to make it clear that I will never call this girl my girl. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/16/2020 at 12:07 PM, Hate said:

You’d have to a an outlet near the toilet to accomplish that.

battery powered heaters arent a thing?  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/28/2018 at 5:22 PM, Rimbo said:

(Not joking. There actually is a setting to give you an enema. Also somewhat useful for constipation...)

What brand is this?

 

On 6/29/2018 at 12:12 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Cleaning up high-test mudbutt can take hours. 

This was my experience after using a top of the line toto for month of Feb while on vacation. Left mud a few times. Wrapping finger in a wet wipe and going to the first knuckle was much more effective for cleanliness although probably not as enjoyable as the hot water spray. My virgin asshole may be unusually tight though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
For real. A few scoops of fiber and you will have the most glorious shits ever. 

A bowl of Kashi cereal will give you a glorious shit exactly 3 hours later. It’s like digesting wood chips.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


mpu


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Recruiting ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Help ... For Sale ... Politics ... Board Discussion
×
×
  • Create New...