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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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I don't see how women can't go to a store and buy what they went there for without buying a bunch of extra shit.

Wife was taking the kids swimming to the indoor YMCA pool in RR. Tells me son needs new flip flops and is going to stop at Target. Asks me which card to pay with since we use different accounts for various things (bills, etc). I check and see the bills account still has about $50 in it after bills were paid. Flips flops for a 9yo can't cost more than $10-15 so I tell her to use that card.

Later I need to order some parts for a car I'm restoring so I check to see if my "car" account has enough or if I need to make a transfer. I see the "bills" account is negative. I check it and see she spent $134 at Target. Plus a $28 overdraft fee. I was pissed. Her excuse? "I told you I was going to Target." WTF? She told me she was just getting flip flops. If she had told me she was getting a bunch of other stuff I would have had her use a different card.

And I had just talked to her about how she needs to stop buying extra crap every time she stops for something we need. (Stops to get milk and buys the kids candy,, water balloons, etc turning a $4 stop into a $35 stop. "But it was only $4." $4 every damn time is $1000+/year in useless crap we don't need.

She spends an extra $5-10 every day probably but then bitches if I spend $100 once every 3 months and how she now gets to go spend $100 on clothes.


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We have a baby due in July, and for some reason my wife has decided that the entire baby room has to be done NOW.

Yesterday I spent 9 hours scooping up yard rock and big chunks of sod that had been displaced plowing snow this winter around the farm.  Lots of heavy shovel or pitchforks full.  All I wanted to do when I got home was take a hot shower and lay there.  Nope.  Instead we had to set up an overpriced bookshelf/storage unit that she got at IKEA.

I have a feeling I need to get used to this.

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13 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

I admire your optimism.

Yeah, he creates a complicated system that requires her to ask which card to use, requires him to check the balance on each card before making a transaction and then sends her off to Target thinking she will buy just one thing. Guessing that he hasn't been married for long. The amount of shit that gets shuttled back and forth to Target in our house is truly impressive. I learned long ago to just let it go.

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1 hour ago, Modessit said:

I don't see how women can't go to a store and buy what they went there for without buying a bunch of extra shit.

Wife was taking the kids swimming to the indoor YMCA pool in RR. Tells me son needs new flip flops and is going to stop at Target. Asks me which card to pay with since we use different accounts for various things (bills, etc). I check and see the bills account still has about $50 in it after bills were paid. Flips flops for a 9yo can't cost more than $10-15 so I tell her to use that card.

Later I need to order some parts for a car I'm restoring so I check to see if my "car" account has enough or if I need to make a transfer. I see the "bills" account is negative. I check it and see she spent $134 at Target. Plus a $28 overdraft fee. I was pissed. Her excuse? "I told you I was going to Target." WTF? She told me she was just getting flip flops. If she had told me she was getting a bunch of other stuff I would have had her use a different card.

And I had just talked to her about how she needs to stop buying extra crap every time she stops for something we need. (Stops to get milk and buys the kids candy,, water balloons, etc turning a $4 stop into a $35 stop. "But it was only $4." $4 every damn time is $1000+/year in useless crap we don't need.

She spends an extra $5-10 every day probably but then bitches if I spend $100 once every 3 months and how she now gets to go spend $100 on clothes.

 

There is no getting a wife out of a Target without spending at least $100, this outcome is the most predictable thing in the world. No matter what they are going for. 

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1 hour ago, Modessit said:

I don't see how women can't go to a store and buy what they went there for without buying a bunch of extra shit.

Wife was taking the kids swimming to the indoor YMCA pool in RR. Tells me son needs new flip flops and is going to stop at Target. Asks me which card to pay with since we use different accounts for various things (bills, etc). I check and see the bills account still has about $50 in it after bills were paid. Flips flops for a 9yo can't cost more than $10-15 so I tell her to use that card.

Later I need to order some parts for a car I'm restoring so I check to see if my "car" account has enough or if I need to make a transfer. I see the "bills" account is negative. I check it and see she spent $134 at Target. Plus a $28 overdraft fee. I was pissed. Her excuse? "I told you I was going to Target." WTF? She told me she was just getting flip flops. If she had told me she was getting a bunch of other stuff I would have had her use a different card.

And I had just talked to her about how she needs to stop buying extra crap every time she stops for something we need. (Stops to get milk and buys the kids candy,, water balloons, etc turning a $4 stop into a $35 stop. "But it was only $4." $4 every damn time is $1000+/year in useless crap we don't need.

She spends an extra $5-10 every day probably but then bitches if I spend $100 once every 3 months and how she now gets to go spend $100 on clothes.

 

Big picture I agree with you. In this instance - thinking she was going to spend less than $50 at Target is on you. 

I mean - $134 for a Target trip? Some guys in here probably consider that a humble brag. 

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52 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

We have a baby due in July, and for some reason my wife has decided that the entire baby room has to be done NOW.

Yesterday I spent 9 hours scooping up yard rock and big chunks of sod that had been displaced plowing snow this winter around the farm.  Lots of heavy shovel or pitchforks full.  All I wanted to do when I got home was take a hot shower and lay there.  Nope.  Instead we had to set up an overpriced bookshelf/storage unit that she got at IKEA.

I have a feeling I need to get used to this.

Yep.  You have to get used to it.  When pregnant with second kid, wife decided the room need to be painted - which is fine.  After the entire room was painted, wife determined that it was the wrong shade of green.  We bought new shade of green and repainted the entire room.  Bless my wife for carrying our two children for 9 months each - I can deal with ridiculous nesting rituals.

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5 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Yep.  You have to get used to it.  When pregnant with second kid, wife decided the room need to be painted - which is fine.  After the entire room was painted, wife determined that it was the wrong shade of green.  We bought new shade of green and repainted the entire room.  Bless my wife for carrying our two children for 9 months each - I can deal with ridiculous nesting rituals.

My wife can't have kids and we're using a surrogate, so I can't blame it on some hormonal nesting ritual.

For the entirety of our cohabitation, my wife has had an uncanny ability to know when I'm about 5 seconds into being comfortable before presenting some inane request that requires my involvement.

And soon I'll have a daughter that will probably have the same Spidey Sense.

Edited by Al_4_ISU
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6 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

My wife can't have kids and we're using a surrogate, so I can't blame it on some hormonal nesting ritual.

For the entirety of our cohabitation, my wife has had an uncanny ability to know when I'm about 5 seconds into being comfortable before presenting some inane request that requires my involvement.

And soon I'll have a daughter that will probably have the same Spidey Sense.

It doesn't relate to pregnancy hormones.  Every time we leave the house for anything from a weekend to a two week vacation my wife goes into full nesting mode.  Like, "Let's do all this shit I've been putting off for years in one afternoon."  Telling her that her goals are unreasonable is not conducive to having a good weekend away.  Just let her find out on her own.

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2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

You can’t stop it. You just have to out earn it.

My Dad tells the story of when his company switched from paying them once a month, to paying them twice a month.   There was discussion about how now they would have two times a month where they were waiting on getting paid and worrying about their wives spending too much and having the funds needed. 

One of his coworkers said "You mean you told your wife?"

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

My wife can't have kids and we're using a surrogate, so I can't blame it on some hormonal nesting ritual.

For the entirety of our cohabitation, my wife has had an uncanny ability to know when I'm about 5 seconds into being comfortable before presenting some inane request that requires my involvement.

And soon I'll have a daughter that will probably have the same Spidey Sense.

A woman can not abide a content man.

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5 minutes ago, ABSR said:

My Dad tells the story of when his company switched from paying them once a month, to paying them twice a month.   There was discussion about how now they would have two times a month where they were waiting on getting paid and worrying about their wives spending too much and having the funds needed. 

One of his coworkers said "You mean you told your wife?"

Your dad's reaction....

well-shit-oh-no.gif

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On 4/3/2023 at 3:00 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:


I have a 7.5 min video of a woman parallel parking a truck.
 

CSB time.  Early 2000s, I'm outside the Texadelphia on Guadalupe waiting for discounted ACL fest tickets.  It's noon, not much vehicular traffic.

VW Jetta pulls up with 4 college girls inside trying to parallel park.  She's doing the ole Austin-Powers-in-a-Hallway maneuver.  Back, forward, back, forward, back, forward.  Traffic behind her piles up 20 yards, 40 yards, 80 yards, 100 yards.

Finally, some pissed off dude in a delivery truck in the traffic pile walks up to the drivers seat, pretty much yanks her out of the car, and slots it the spot in a matter of like 5 seconds.

Wish iPhones were around back then.

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12 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

My wife tore off her driver’s side mirror backing out of the garage. Next, she hit the garage door backing out because she didn’t wait for the door to finish lifting. For months, it made a loud pop as it shut. I tried minor repairs (new hinge and strut), but nothing helped. Then, she hit the door entering the garage (couldn’t wait an extra second for the opener to do its magic), but that somehow fixed the popping noise. She “fixed it,” I should say  

Finally (probably not), I get a call when I’m out of town that she backed into the garage door again because she forgot it was still closed. She thought it must be okay, so she tried opening it. It got stuck about 18” up because it was off the track on one side. It wouldn’t close, so she pulled the release cord and it fell back down. She claims it was ready for me to fix when I returned, but I reminded her that her car was still stranded in the garage for a few days.

I told her to ask our next door neighbor to take a look at it since he’s a home builder. He got it back on track and working. She ran off with him. 

Problem solved.  Or, at least passed on to another poor schmuck.

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On 4/6/2023 at 10:51 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

For the entirety of our cohabitation, my wife has had an uncanny ability to know when I'm about 5 seconds into being comfortable before presenting some inane request that requires my involvement.

When im watching netflix its the perfect time to start 5 simultaneous conversations about nothing at all. 
 

when shes watching netflix i shouldnt even utter a word because its “disrupting [her] concentration”

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There is no getting a wife out of a Target without spending at least $100, this outcome is the most predictable thing in the world. No matter what they are going for. 

Man….25 years ago I had an older work buddy explain to me that he called Target “the $100 store, because no matter what we go in for, we spend at least $100.” It’s a universal constant.
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14 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

My wife tore off her driver’s side mirror backing out of the garage. Next, she hit the garage door backing out because she didn’t wait for the door to finish lifting. For months, it made a loud pop as it shut. I tried minor repairs (new hinge and strut), but nothing helped. Then, she hit the door entering the garage (couldn’t wait an extra second for the opener to do its magic), but that somehow fixed the popping noise. “She fixed it,” I should say  

Finally (probably not), I get a call when I’m out of town that she backed into the garage door again because she forgot it was still closed. She thought it must be okay, so she tried opening it. It got stuck about 18” up because it was off the track on one side. It wouldn’t close, so she pulled the release cord and it fell back down. She claims it was ready for me to fix when I returned, but I reminded her that her car was still stranded in the garage for a few days.

I told her to ask our next door neighbor to take a look at it since he’s a home builder. He got it back on track and working. She ran off with him. 

That’s a good trade. 

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Yeah, he creates a complicated system that requires her to ask which card to use, requires him to check the balance on each card before making a transaction and then sends her off to Target thinking she will buy just one thing. Guessing that he hasn't been married for long. The amount of shit that gets shuttled back and forth to Target in our house is truly impressive. I learned long ago to just let it go.

Starter wives do the cutest things!

My second wife and I do not share any bank, credit card, or investment accounts and it’s glorious. Our ground rules are basically don’t do stupid money things.
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On 4/6/2023 at 8:25 AM, Modessit said:

I don't see how women can't go to a store and buy what they went there for without buying a bunch of extra shit.

Wife was taking the kids swimming to the indoor YMCA pool in RR. Tells me son needs new flip flops and is going to stop at Target. Asks me which card to pay with since we use different accounts for various things (bills, etc). I check and see the bills account still has about $50 in it after bills were paid. Flips flops for a 9yo can't cost more than $10-15 so I tell her to use that card.

Later I need to order some parts for a car I'm restoring so I check to see if my "car" account has enough or if I need to make a transfer. I see the "bills" account is negative. I check it and see she spent $134 at Target. Plus a $28 overdraft fee. I was pissed. Her excuse? "I told you I was going to Target." WTF? She told me she was just getting flip flops. If she had told me she was getting a bunch of other stuff I would have had her use a different card.

And I had just talked to her about how she needs to stop buying extra crap every time she stops for something we need. (Stops to get milk and buys the kids candy,, water balloons, etc turning a $4 stop into a $35 stop. "But it was only $4." $4 every damn time is $1000+/year in useless crap we don't need.

She spends an extra $5-10 every day probably but then bitches if I spend $100 once every 3 months and how she now gets to go spend $100 on clothes.

 

The answer is don't tell her what you spend and use cash. My wife spends          $ 30-$50 a week at outlet stores on useless crap but will get mad if I drop $150 on things she deems unnecessary. So I keep a big wad of cash hidden to buy whatever I want without the bitching. 

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I'm a firm believer in the idea that couples can make any financial arrangement work for their relationship but separate accounts is like anal sex to me. If other people are into it, cool, but I just can't understand the appeal at all. I don't have any money. We have all the money. Marrying a woman who wasn't stupid about money was a priority.

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When im watching netflix its the perfect time to start 5 simultaneous conversations about nothing at all. 
 
when shes watching netflix i shouldnt even utter a word because its “disrupting [her] concentration”


My wife can be watching a show an hour before I sit down, and within in minutes, she is asking me questions about it. I'm just trying to score some points for later on, I don't fucking know. Maybe try getting off your phone and watching.
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13 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Man….25 years ago I had an older work buddy explain to me that he called Target “the $100 store, because no matter what we go in for, we spend at least $100.” It’s a universal constant.

Same time frame, living in Sumatra.  Every time the wife took the free company plane to Singapore, for a hair do, it ran $1500 or so for the total.  On an R&R in Perth and my then 10 yr old and I ware getting haircuts.  I relayed this little story to my barber, both were female.  They replied in unison in extreme Aussie accents “Let us marry you!”.

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3 hours ago, SilasCoade said:

I'm a firm believer in the idea that couples can make any financial arrangement work for their relationship but separate accounts is like anal sex to me.

Look, man... We all do what we have to in order to subsidize our incomes

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