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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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Down in Houston Med Center awaiting mi esposa to get out of surgery.  
 

This high-toned nasally, slack-jawed, twitchy foot, jorts-wearing, loud-talking dipshit is about to put me over the edge.  Plus he’s arguing with his fat sister that has her pie hole stuffed full of food and she’s jawing back at him sounding like she’s got a tube sock stuffed in her mouth.  
 

His other brother Darrel done gonoffa get sumpna ate.  
 

Jeez. 

IMG_9683.jpeg

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1 minute ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

i'm about to fuckin turn around and hit you

Bring it, shitbird. 
 

You’ll need to get the food out of your mouth and get around your stupid brother. 

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5 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

In Irvine, there are 2 MacArthur & Main intersections within a mile of each other...

 

image.png.a9a7596de53f1d8852b7cc63dc6f87c2.png

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10 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

That picture is the same image of I35, anytime day or night, on most stretches all the way from San Antonio to DFW.

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On 2/7/2024 at 7:34 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

I’ve driven in Central and South Asia and I can say that you cannot be reasonably safe there. 
 

In Uzbekistan many drivers turn off their headlights and night because they believe it saves gas and also a lot of cars have shade-tree conversions to natural gas and they are extremely explodey. 
 

Balkans was mostly fine except Kosovo. Rest of Europe OK. 

 

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11 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

They probably don’t feel like they need to clarify because the answer to your question is “yes” more often than not 

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17 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

When people on the radio or TV state "there's an accident at I-35 and 290" but don't clarify which part of town they're referring to.  The 290 and 35 intersection NORTH of the river, or the one SOUTH?

 

 

The sentence "Take Airport to 45th to Mopac" should give you enough clues as to which side of the river she's referring to.

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19 hours ago, deadshank said:

Down in Houston Med Center awaiting mi esposa to get out of surgery.  
 

This high-toned nasally, slack-jawed, twitchy foot, jorts-wearing, loud-talking dipshit is about to put me over the edge.  Plus he’s arguing with his fat sister that has her pie hole stuffed full of food and she’s jawing back at him sounding like she’s got a tube sock stuffed in her mouth.  
 

His other brother Darrel done gonoffa get sumpna ate.  
 

Jeez. 

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Can you see his ring?

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Had a package coming from UPS that I had to sign for. Checked tracking this morning before I left for work and it said out for delivery. Will be here by 7pm. 
 
Well fuck. Ok, wife is off work so she will be there all day. I get off early and I forgot, so we go out for a happy hour drink.  I remember right when we get our beer so ok, let’s finish this and get back home. Surely he won’t show during this half hour window right?
 
 
WRONG!!!!!!!!!
UPS told me I had a package that was arriving Wednesday that I ordered Sunday. I check the details and see that only a label has been created. Wednesday morning still showing arriving on time. But no additional movement. Thursday morning, it gets updated to Friday delivery. Today, I get a message that the damn thing got missorted to Abilene.
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9 hours ago, royiv said:

The sentence "Take Airport to 45th to Mopac" should give you enough clues as to which side of the river she's referring to.

This seems to be a rare occasion where the person included SOME context.  But North I-35 and 290 is MUCH easier to understand.

 

The fun is when they start throwing in the direction of traffic AND section of 35: Southbound North I-35.

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Well; maybe not always, but certainly with regard to transportation. 
 

the ‘no trucks in left lane’ rule in 3+ lane highways is just inconsistently enforced all over Texas is the main bug. Another problem is the next automobile driver to adhere to the ‘left lane for passing only’ sign will be the first.  

few years back, a part of our trucking fleet participated in a federal DoT/TXDoT test for electric powered, autonomous semi trucks.  One worked just fine.  Two or three together gets fucked.  Not because of Texas drivers but because a significant portion of on our on/off ramps aren’t setup for it.  Hence all the dipshits you’ll find yourself yelling “just fucking merge” to later this morning.  But, like a lotta things…we just couldn’t possibly have seen this coming way back when. 

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2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Well; maybe not always, but certainly with regard to transportation. 
 

the ‘no trucks in left lane’ rule in 3+ lane highways is just inconsistently enforced all over Texas is the main bug. Another problem is the next automobile driver to adhere to the ‘left lane for passing only’ sign will be the first.  

few years back, a part of our trucking fleet participated in a federal DoT/TXDoT test for electric powered, autonomous semi trucks.  One worked just fine.  Two or three together gets fucked.  Not because of Texas drivers but because a significant portion of on our on/off ramps aren’t setup for it.  Hence all the dipshits you’ll find yourself yelling “just fucking merge” to later this morning.  But, like a lotta things…we just couldn’t possibly have seen this coming way back when. 

Trucks shouldn't be allowed in the left lane at all.  2 lane, 3 lane, 4 lane.   Enough of that shit.   I spent a considerable amount of time on I-10 Saturday between El Paso and Houston driving behind semis in the left lane doing 65-70 in a 80 MPH zone.  

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We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

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9 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

As someone who goes by his middle name I support this message.

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15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

OK Joey Freshwater. Or, as Sir Paul McCartney was known, Paul Ramon. 
 

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Rocket Mortgage running ads telling people to take home-equity loans to cover everyday expenses (grocery costs going up).

The US does not need any more debt. If you can't afford groceries, then it's time to put the smoked salmon and ribeye back on the refrigerated section, buy store brands, eat chicken, rice and beans.

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3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

15% of U.S. males go by something other than their first name.  Usually middle, but also initial acronyms or broadly-accepted nicknames like "Tex" or "Red" or "Junior."  And 10% of women do the same. 

I use my middle name on everything except my Global Entry card and passport because it's just not worth the hassle and risk of getting some kinda no-fly red-flag.  But everything else from my asset titling to marriage certificate is my middle named which I've used exclusively for about 40+ years.  And to this day, it just baffles adults.  "No, what's your real name?"  Uh, it's the name I just gave you.  And it's real.  And so am I.  It's this conversation that is a fucking mystery to me.  I mean yeah, changing your last name on the fly is shady as fuck and I've gone by aliases like "Icy Hot Stunta" and "Frank Stallone", but if it's part of my birth certificate, it's my fucking real name.  

 

When a credit card receipt needs my signature, I scrawl "Richard M. Nixon". When I started, it took probably ten years before anyone noticed - or at least, said something about it. Went kinda like:

"Sir, you signed Richard Nixon here."

"Yes, yes I did."

"You need to write your name, sir."

"No, I need to write my signature. That's my signature."

"Sir, that's Nixon's signature."

"Actually, Nixon is dead. He doesn't have a signature anymore, so it's mine, now."

"Uhhh ..."

 

 

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That's awesome.  You still go by Milhouse, right?  

I used to sign my name as my first initial, then my middle name which is my name 99% of the time IRL, and then last name obviously.  But after enough identity thefts, I now on a screenpad or even printed receipt, just scribble a few circles.  Finally got old enough to realize my actual signature was easy to duplicate, but drunken ovals indicating the score of the Cleveland-San Antonio score is actually hard to replicate because replicating bizarre squiggles is easier to pick up on than letters.  We're all still vulnerable to identity theft by my 30 year genuine signature was super easy to copy in hindsight.  

Then again, speaking of things that make us surly.  I still have to once a year clear my credit report of this incident at a Best Buy like 15 years ago.  Obviously the in-house credit card guy was in on it.  So they swipe my info online and print out fake shit and open a store credit or whatever the fuck they call it in Baltimore.  Now, a modicum of analysis by the bureaus would be, "Hey Lobo has never bought anything in Baltimore in his life, maybe we should look into this."  But I get there's probably ways around that for the thieves.  But the dude buys a 60" flat screen TV for like $2,000.  So I gotta go through Sheriffs office there, plus the store, plus the 3 bureaus.  And my story is the same, "I haven't been to Maryland in decades and haven't ever been to Baltimore.  You have my zip code, my residence history, etc."  And literally in the middle of the one of the criminal reports, the guy also bought some plane tickets.  So Best Buy's fraud chief tells me, "Well, we just assumed you took the TV home with you to Texas."  You know that thing you do all the time where you try and shimmy a 60" TV into the overhead bin?  And sure as shit, once a year, I gotta re-clear it off my report because it never got fully paid for.  

I was ahead of my time though, because now you can trade flat-screen TV's for a fist-fight in Row 9 on Spirit airlines.  

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On 2/12/2024 at 9:44 AM, Macanudo said:

Trucks shouldn't be allowed in the left lane at all.  2 lane, 3 lane, 4 lane.   Enough of that shit.   I spent a considerable amount of time on I-10 Saturday between El Paso and Houston driving behind semis in the left lane doing 65-70 in a 80 MPH zone.  

The one that has been getting me lately is semis getting over into the left lane with little or no notice because there is a vehicle stopped ahead on the right shoulder, even if the vehicle is well clear of the road.  I can't tell you how many times I've had to jam on the brakes to avoid getting smashed when a truck does this.  Yes, I understand that they do it for "safety" reasons, but it pretty much defeats the purpose of a safety measure when you create another unsafe situation by doing it.  

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56 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

When the fuck did people stop enunciating the letter "T" in their speech.

I want to go Loudermilk on these people about a half dozen times a day. 

Motherfucker, it's pronounced "but-ton", not "buh-un".

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Buh-un your lips, motherfucker! 

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On 2/12/2024 at 3:07 PM, mininghorn88 said:

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

Somewhere some HR jockey told them that it would help people feel like they are appreciated to see their names scroll across, only the little box-checker doing the work has not a clue that Daniel down in Shipping actually goes by Fred because his dad had the same name.

My other favorite is some rando in the company wishing me happy birthday.  Bitch you don’t know shit about me, how many kids I have, or what my sports teams are.  Go ease your conscience somewhere else.  You’re not involved with your team but doing that inane exercise.

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1 hour ago, Guadaloopy said:

The one that has been getting me lately is semis getting over into the left lane with little or no notice because there is a vehicle stopped ahead on the right shoulder, even if the vehicle is well clear of the road.  I can't tell you how many times I've had to jam on the brakes to avoid getting smashed when a truck does this.  Yes, I understand that they do it for "safety" reasons, but it pretty much defeats the purpose of a safety measure when you create another unsafe situation by doing it.  

Yeah, this does seem to be getting more prevalent as of late.  I don't know if it's the lower safety training standards of truck drivers due to demand (I know, I know...nobody under 50 in this country wants to work anymore).  Our drivers' safety record is an industry gold standard, but I've noticed other fleets pull this shit because nobody trains them otherwise.  I get it in blind turns or hilly areas but there's no excuse for it on fucking IH-10 or some shit.  

I take great joy in showing my kids when we're traveling trucking protocol like flashing your brights to let them know it's okay to merge in front and then they tap their lights as well as a thank-you.  And I also have to remember not beep or flip off a driver.  I've been stealing a line from Wayne on "Letterkenny" lately with shitty drivers, both passenger cars and trucks alike and I used it again yesterday.  I had dropped by daughter off at dance rehearsal and was it was a shitshow rush hour.  I'm just politely passing through this congested as fuck parking lot.  And a delivery truck is backing out of an angled spot going the wrong way.  Didn't yield to me and going the wrong direction.  I had my windows down anyway as it was a nice day.  He immediately looks out his window with a "come at me bro" look on his face and expecting me to give him the finger so he can do something stupid.  But I gave him a thumbs up and yelled, "You're doing terrific."  He was totally caught off guard and I really enjoyed the look on his face.  He probably ran over a dog later out of confused anger, but I enjoyed the moment.  

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17 hours ago, Guadaloopy said:

When the fuck did people stop enunciating the letter "T" in their speech.

I want to go Loudermilk on these people about a half dozen times a day. 

Motherfucker, it's pronounced "but-ton", not "buh-un".

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One of the anchors on Fox7 does this crap and drives me bonkers.  Along with "I axed them..."

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How about when you do the nice thing in traffic, and let someone in (it's a steady line of traffic, and they need to turn in/enter it from a side/cross street).  You do the polite thing, letting them into traffic right in front of you.....and then they proceed to drive below the speed limit when traffic starts moving again.  

Nope, nope, nope.  I let you in fucker, now you play by the same rules as everyone else.  Get moving.  What a dick move -- someone does you a favor, and you immediately delay their day.  I laid on the damned horn pretty quickly.  I have no patience for selfish bad manners.

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On 2/12/2024 at 3:07 PM, mininghorn88 said:

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

Wouldn’t that require some Linda in HR to do something productive? Clearly just pulling from the HR system that uses legal names. 

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I spoke to "woman" last as part of a survey for work that was done at my house recently.  I swear her voice was something akin to what AI would come up with for its version of a twenty something with vocal fry.  It was so over the top I couldn't believe I was actually talking to a person.  I am still not sure it was a person.  I had to restrain myself several time from either yelling at the phone ' ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!?' or just hanging up.  I was never so relieved to get off a phone call.  I guess I could have just hung up but my desire to get this over with was a bit greater.

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How about when you do the nice thing in traffic, and let someone in (it's a steady line of traffic, and they need to turn in/enter it from a side/cross street).  You do the polite thing, letting them into traffic right in front of you.....and then they proceed to drive below the speed limit when traffic starts moving again.  
Nope, nope, nope.  I let you in fucker, now you play by the same rules as everyone else.  Get moving.  What a dick move -- someone does you a favor, and you immediately delay their day.  I laid on the damned horn pretty quickly.  I have no patience for selfish bad manners.

You’ve met humans before, right?
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Anything in the house that unnecessarily makes noise.  The parents have a grandfather clock and a cuckoo clock that compete with each other for your attention every hour.  They have a landline phone that robotically announces the name of the caller when the phone rings in an annoying robotic voice.  This is making me surly today because I was at their house yesterday to install their Ring doorbell so they can have something else to make noise, and we had a perfect symphony of Westminster chimes, cuckoos, WIRELESS CALLER, and the ring doorbell while I was making sure it worked.

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1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

Anything in the house that unnecessarily makes noise.  The parents have a grandfather clock and a cuckoo clock that compete with each other for your attention every hour.  They have a landline phone that robotically announces the name of the caller when the phone rings in an annoying robotic voice.  This is making me surly today because I was at their house yesterday to install their Ring doorbell so they can have something else to make noise, and we had a perfect symphony of Westminster chimes, cuckoos, WIRELESS CALLER, and the ring doorbell while I was making sure it worked.

Not only in the house but fucking anywhere.

Like a co-worker constantly clicking their pen for no reason.

Someone smacking while eating with their mouths open.

Someone smacking gum and popping bubbles. (I will kill you if you do this around me)

A rice rocket car driving down my street. I can hear it for miles after they leave.

Now get off my fucking lawn.

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3 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

The parents have a grandfather clock and a cuckoo clock that compete with each other for your attention every hour.

We have a clock in the living room that doesn't chime but it makes a sound, seemingly every 5 seconds or so, that sounds like a dripping faucet. The first time I heard it I thought we might have a plumbing problem but no, it's just this fucking clock. 

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4 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Anything in the house that unnecessarily makes noise.  The parents have a grandfather clock and a cuckoo clock that compete with each other for your attention every hour.  They have a landline phone that robotically announces the name of the caller when the phone rings in an annoying robotic voice.  This is making me surly today because I was at their house yesterday to install their Ring doorbell so they can have something else to make noise, and we had a perfect symphony of Westminster chimes, cuckoos, WIRELESS CALLER, and the ring doorbell while I was making sure it worked.

 

Same same but different but still the same is every thing now has a little red light on it. And somewhere along the line, the extension cords went from one little red light to one little red light and two green lights. 

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21 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Same same but different but still the same is every thing now has a little red light on it. And somewhere along the line, the extension cords went from one little red light to one little red light and two green lights. 

A little square of electrical tape over that little light works really well. 

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On 2/14/2024 at 2:43 PM, Guadaloopy said:

When the fuck did people stop enunciating the letter "T" in their speech.

I want to go Loudermilk on these people about a half dozen times a day. 

Motherfucker, it's pronounced "but-ton", not "buh-un".

Rage GIF

Maybe they’re from Bal’more. 

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7 minutes ago, slorch said:

Maybe they’re from Bal’more. 

I'm sorry, are you saying "Water?"

"Yeah."

Then why are you pronouncing it "War-der"?  

Look man, I'm a Ravens fan.  I got their jersey on and everything.  I will fucking cut you.

This totally tracks.  

Edited by YGIFS
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10 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

How about when you do the nice thing in traffic, and let someone in (it's a steady line of traffic, and they need to turn in/enter it from a side/cross street).  You do the polite thing, letting them into traffic right in front of you.....and then they proceed to drive below the speed limit when traffic starts moving again.  

Nope, nope, nope.  I let you in fucker, now you play by the same rules as everyone else.  Get moving.  What a dick move -- someone does you a favor, and you immediately delay their day.  I laid on the damned horn pretty quickly.  I have no patience for selfish bad manners.

Even worse is letting someone in when you’re in the right lane of a divided street, only to realize the motherfucker is immediately going to sit there and try and get 3 lanes to the left to turn left at the next light.  

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On 2/14/2024 at 2:43 PM, Guadaloopy said:

When the fuck did people stop enunciating the letter "T" in their speech.

I want to go Loudermilk on these people about a half dozen times a day. 

Motherfucker, it's pronounced "but-ton", not "buh-un".

Rage GIF

MY GOD THIS

Wri-tt-en not wrih-uhn

 

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