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American "Passport Bro" culture (because they can't get significant others here in America)


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On 6/9/2023 at 4:02 PM, Nivek said:

Seems to me that the common thread here is you just need game.   That and you need to be confident, well-kempt, and have a look to attract a type.   The problem of course is that not everyone has these qualities and there no amount of "get some game" advice will help them.  What if their hobby is playing Assassin's Creed or working on cars or reading financial journals?  This 'get in shape, get a haircut, and go to yoga to meet women' doesn't work.  The fat guy in spin class isn't meeting anyone.   The spectrum guys who lack game should do what exactly?  Cause they are always going to be awkward or not pick up on social cues.   

1 -- you don't need OLYMPIC-level game.  Just fucking SOME game.  None of those hobbies are a barrier to meeting a woman.  And actually, the fat guy in spin class may not meet someone in the spin class, but he'll learn how to interact with women in a socially acceptable and even desirable way.  Which may work on the girl who works at another office in his building or whatnot.  

2 -- and yeah, some people are on the spectrum and won't ever be great at social cues.  Guess what?  That applies to WOMEN TOO.  For every awkward, geeky guy, there's an awkward, geeky girl.  Shit, I remember one of my wife's seminary classmates: homely looking girl, odd, limited social skills....had been married to several years to a dude who was.....homely, odd, and had limited social skills.  They were big gamers, and they were happy together.

So, maybe throw in a touch of "and be realistic, too."  The goofy guy with bad hygiene and poor social skills can improve his lot so he can meet a girl.  If he's holding out for the next Gal Gadot, though....he's screwed.

Shit, I've got money, a decent amount of game, and solid social skills (but I ain't loaded, and I ain't pretty).  And if I set as my life goal "get a girl like Gal Gadot," I'm gonna be disappointed.  I'm never going to get her to look at me like this:

832367723fa82f31f87f0f43c4697ac8.jpg

Know why?  Because I'm not Chris Pine, and never will be.  Neither will the dude who works in IT and has B.O., no matter how much of a self-improvement road he walks.  But he CAN get a girl, one who likes him, and they can be happy together.

The fucking sense of entitlement is killing us.  Every fucking loser thinks not just that he can get a Gal Gadot, but he's ENTITLED to a Gal Gadot, and if he doesn't get her, it's because women are all fucked up bitches and shit.  Fuck that.

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14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

The fucking sense of entitlement is killing us.  Every fucking loser thinks not just that he can get a Gal Gadot, but he's ENTITLED to a Gal Gadot, and if he doesn't get her, it's because women are all fucked up bitches and shit.  Fuck that.

AI solves this

 

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On 6/9/2023 at 9:33 AM, Schulz2.0 said:

90day-edyes-90day-fiance.gif

 

On 6/9/2023 at 1:09 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Embarrassed to say but I actually watched some of this dude's story on that 90 day fiancé show. Very entertaining. I think I was also forced to watch an American woman find her dream man in Africa.

But back to this dude. He has some unique physical characteristics that definitely create challenges in finding a mate. He was previously married and has an adult daughter. Via this show, he finds "true love" in a 20 yo Filipino woman. Only facetime visits at the start of the show before he traveled over there. She was attractive but when he visited her, she lived in poverty at least from an American's point of view. Hijinks ensued and he was pissed when he realized that she only wanted him to compensate her family and move her to the US. She didn't truly love him. Shocker. They did imply that she finally slept with him. once.

Only after she used the dental hygiene kit that he so "lovingly" gifted her. 

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12 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

They’re supposed to accept that the universe/society/“women” don’t owe them a partner or sex or blowjobs.  I really don’t know what else to say, if a woman would rather be alone than with you, then that’s a message. 
 

But this kind of concern for these dudes gets tiring and a bit disingenuous. Look, here’s a guy at your workplace who’s really socially awkward. He is only interested in things that are either non-interesting or actually offensive to you. He drones on about them all the time, and he doesn’t take cues on when to stop talking and how to carry a conversation. He alternates between self-pity and arrogance. He maybe doesn’t have great hygiene, he doesn’t have a great job and can’t afford to go to really fun things. 
 

Why won’t you be his best friend? No, not “include him” every now and then. Not grab a beer when he’s feeling down. You need to be his best friend. Maybe take some buddy trips. Hang out every chance you get. Invite him to all the family stuff. Find him on break to shoot the shit. Let him turn to you, and you turn to him when you really need something.

Why don’t you want to be best friends? Come on, the position is open, you haven’t had a best friend since college and y’all only see each other once a year. What, are your standards so high that you think another, better best friend is gonna come along? We’re all old now, it’s hard to make friends. Those groups are established. It’s either no close friends or this weird guy you don’t have anything in common with. What if he really promises to work on the hygiene? He’ll try not to only talk about anime? Then will you be his best friend? 
 

Is this going to work for you? Now add in “oh, and you give him blowjobs and split your finances.” 

 

 

EnchantingExemplaryHoverfly-max-1mb.gif

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3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

......Know why?  Because I'm not Chris Pine, and never will be.  Neither will the dude who works in IT and has B.O., no matter how much of a self-improvement road he walks.  But he CAN get a girl, one who likes him, and they can be happy together.

The fucking sense of entitlement is killing us.  Every fucking loser thinks not just that he can get a Gal Gadot, but he's ENTITLED to a Gal Gadot, and if he doesn't get her, it's because women are all fucked up bitches and shit.  Fuck that.

You seem to have some strong feelings though they are a bit misguided by my estimate.  

1) Human companionship is a need, not some 'entitlement' that you are claiming.  All the evidence is there for how we want to 'break' captives/prisoners about the importance of companionship.   (I wonder how many minutes it will take for this to get misrepresented?)  

2) Some of your (and others) advice really seems centered around obvious easy-to-fix things such as B.O. (or by extension clipping nails, and basic grooming) which may not necessarily be helpful.   I knew well-groomed guys who had issues.  He was decent looking I guess, symmetrical, smart, affable, but slight. 

3) You presume that these individuals have unrealistic goals/standards of landing supermodels while looking like Dennis Franz.   So tell me, how does the IT guy get the girl and be happy?  What is the actual advice?  Some game (whatever the fuck that means)?  Don't smell?  Lower standards?  Go to the bars at 45 minutes before closing or better yet the daytime?  Or maybe some self-help groups? 

4) Or maybe the fat guy in spin class can just smile and say hi and if the women around him judge him for being too awkward they interpret that badly and ask the teacher to have him removed or they just smirk back and move on.  Or maybe he tries to be charming so he goes to class 2 minutes early and says something about wondering if the teacher is trying to give him a heart attack and try to get a laugh.   And when that fails because his delivery is off or he mumbles, he takes that with him.  Maybe he should just try to pick up girls at the sandwich shop because he has an IT job and that girl is obviously poorer than he is.   But I guess that creates a power imbalance.... that's no good either right? 

So you are probably wondering: Nivek, jesus christ, you are full of hypotheticals to shoot down every scenario, which any assclown can do.  What the fuck is your point man?    Exactly.  My point is that most advice for people you do not understand is not helpful or actionable.   It isn't much different from those who criticized our own surly poster who went on his weight loss journey through surgery.   Only when the medical doctor started contributing a little did some people maybe realize they weren't experts even if they lost weight themselves.     The get game, take a bath, and aim lower, advice is largely unhelpful.   Just like the advice to put the cookies down was unhelpful in the other thread.  

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Nivek said:

You seem to have some strong feelings though they are a bit misguided by my estimate.  

1) Human companionship is a need, not some 'entitlement' that you are claiming.  All the evidence is there for how we want to 'break' captives/prisoners about the importance of companionship.   (I wonder how many minutes it will take for this to get misrepresented?)  

2) Some of your (and others) advice really seems centered around obvious easy-to-fix things such as B.O. (or by extension clipping nails, and basic grooming) which may not necessarily be helpful.   I knew well-groomed guys who had issues.  He was decent looking I guess, symmetrical, smart, affable, but slight. 

3) You presume that these individuals have unrealistic goals/standards of landing supermodels while looking like Dennis Franz.   So tell me, how does the IT guy get the girl and be happy?  What is the actual advice?  Some game (whatever the fuck that means)?  Don't smell?  Lower standards?  Go to the bars at 45 minutes before closing or better yet the daytime?  Or maybe some self-help groups? 

4) Or maybe the fat guy in spin class can just smile and say hi and if the women around him judge him for being too awkward they interpret that badly and ask the teacher to have him removed or they just smirk back and move on.  Or maybe he tries to be charming so he goes to class 2 minutes early and says something about wondering if the teacher is trying to give him a heart attack and try to get a laugh.   And when that fails because his delivery is off or he mumbles, he takes that with him.  Maybe he should just try to pick up girls at the sandwich shop because he has an IT job and that girl is obviously poorer than he is.   But I guess that creates a power imbalance.... that's no good either right? 

So you are probably wondering: Nivek, jesus christ, you are full of hypotheticals to shoot down every scenario, which any assclown can do.  What the fuck is your point man?    Exactly.  My point is that most advice for people you do not understand is not helpful or actionable.   It isn't much different from those who criticized our own surly poster who went on his weight loss journey through surgery.   Only when the medical doctor started contributing a little did some people maybe realize they weren't experts even if they lost weight themselves.     The get game, take a bath, and aim lower, advice is largely unhelpful.   Just like the advice to put the cookies down was unhelpful in the other thread.  

 

 

So your position that "The advice you're giving isn't helpful" means...what, exactly? We should just let unhealthy attitudes and expectations of women persist, to the point of violence and degradation, just because guys now have their fee fees hurt because women can take or leave them? Perhaps you think we should go back to culturally subjugating them because the apple cart needs not be upset?

Society and cultures and the human species change and evolve. Period. And the people within humanity, and those societies, need to evolve and change with it, otherwise they get left behind. In fact, it appears that being left behind is exactly what has happened to many of these men, and their response was literally to go to less progressive places towards women and try to find some female that will accept him on HIS terms, in exchange for whatever deal they make. 

I don't think teaching men, the younger the better, that to attract someone they might have to be attractive themselves is unreasonable, and I don't think it's that difficult a lesson to impart kids. And it would fix a lot of ills demonstrated here. But I do enjoy your efforts to couch this in science. But maybe you're right, there is nothing to be done here, it's just survival of the fittest playing out in a different way than it has historically. Although I do agree that companionship is a form of inherent, animalistic need for people. On the other hand, you also think you could wreck a chimp, so I go back and forth. 

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I think some of you live under rocks.  Plenty of ugly/dorky men (and ugly/dorky women) are out there getting fucked regularly.  Need proof?  Walk outside.  Ugly/dorky people are everywhere.  They didn't just spring up out of the soil.  That 80/20 number from up thread is nonsense and something incels bring up to justify their bullshit.  Women can be choosier on dating apps because better-looking men will throw a fuck at a dog on occasion. He isn't going to marry her, though, and we're talking about companionship here more than sex.  When it comes to long-term coupling, people generally are in line with their partners in terms of attractiveness.

Should some people recalibrate expectations? Perhaps, but not for the reasons mentioned above.  We live in an era where the lowliest skanks and dumbest fools think they're deserving of luxury, success, and free love.  Why?  Because lowly skanks and dumbasses permeate pop culture.  Looking at you, fat half-Armenian family with no discernable skillset beyond middling oral sex skills and a willingness to whore on camera.  Looking at you, everyone who got famous on Youtube. If these people have money, active sex lives, and fame, why can't anyone?  The problem isn't that subpar people expect too much.  The problem is that subpar people have legitimately been handed the keys to the kingdom.  If we celebrate mediocrity (or worse) as a culture, then perhaps these folks' expectations aren't so unreasonable.  Why study hard, work hard, develop skills, etc., when so many people can fast-track to success without putting in any effort?  This culture didn't appear overnight, and yes the parenting trends of the last few decades have played a major role in the entitlement of otherwise forgettable people, but I mostly blame Ryan Seacrest.

 This thread has a hilarious combo of borderline incel comments mixed in with white-knighting bullshit.   I think it boils down to this. This isn't an issue of equity, or modern gender politics, or anything else.  Men and women have been treating each other like shit for centuries, but in the end, almost everyone loves fucking and will find a way to get it done.  If you can find someone you enjoy being around who also wants to fuck you, lock that shit down.   Only ~30% of American adults are single (which is the real reason some single people struggle to meet someone), so this is a lot of words and a long thread to discuss a minority population, a significant chunk of which has no interest in sex and dating (and another significant chunk of which is not heterosexual and haven't been factored into this discuss at all that I've noticed).  So really, we're talking about maybe 5-10% of the adult population that wants a partner but has had trouble finding one.  I don't think this is really a problem at all, or worthy of dissection, but rather, like many hot-button topics these days, serves as a vehicle for people to drape their other issues upon.  

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On 6/7/2023 at 10:06 PM, CHIEF said:

Watched a bit of it on YouTube. The ones I saw were decent to handsome guys (granted I only watched maybe 3-4 videos). It sounds like they weren't going so much because they couldn't get laid, but more to the point, had never been in a relationship with a women in which the woman's infidelity did not end the relationship. These dudes are looking for wives, someone to settle down with. I think fidelity is more important to them than maintaining the household. Another thing some of the guys brought up, was never leave your foreign girlfriend's country, or her family. If you bring them back to the US, the relationship will probably not work out. Makes me think of Eddie Murphy on his "Raw" comedy show all the way back in the 80's where his African girlfriend wanted her half. He told her she was naked riding a zebra when he found her.

If you look at the divorce thread in IWPIHB, or go back and read the "Population Decline" thread in this forum, you start to see some societal changes that were well intentioned, but have spawned some negative consequences. College educated women refusing to marry men without, at least, the same or higher level of education, and a higher income level, or divorcing their husband that paid for that education after they received it is commonplace. It happened to my best friend. Average women getting a booty call from a horny guy that is out of their league only to think that is the kind of guy that is her new norm and not the exception. American women are way out of touch with what their true looks are able to draw for a stable, longterm relationship. I bet there are several thousand women on social media, all over two bills, that say they are a "10". Completely out of touch with reality.

However, the biggest culprit, I truly believe, is social media. It was easy for us old dudes to "shoot your shot" back in the day, when a rejection was simply kept between the approacher, and the "approachee." Now, chicks blast it to all of their mutual friends in their social circle, how "Larry" was such a creep and had the audacity to hit me up. Next thing we see is the rejected doing something crazy (mass shootings, murder, suicide).People say some wicked, and mean-hearted shit behind the safety of their keyboard, just look at Surly.

I don't necessarily agree with the "passport bros", but I understand. I'm lucky, found a levelheaded woman and will be married for 30 years in August. I can't imagine dating and trying to find a "till death do us part" partner in today's environment.

CHIEF

41 yrs this August,  piker

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F’n spellcheck
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You seem to have some strong feelings though they are a bit misguided by my estimate.  
1) Human companionship is a need, not some 'entitlement' that you are claiming.  All the evidence is there for how we want to 'break' captives/prisoners about the importance of companionship.   (I wonder how many minutes it will take for this to get misrepresented?)  
2) Some of your (and others) advice really seems centered around obvious easy-to-fix things such as B.O. (or by extension clipping nails, and basic grooming) which may not necessarily be helpful.   I knew well-groomed guys who had issues.  He was decent looking I guess, symmetrical, smart, affable, but slight. 
3) You presume that these individuals have unrealistic goals/standards of landing supermodels while looking like Dennis Franz.   So tell me, how does the IT guy get the girl and be happy?  What is the actual advice?  Some game (whatever the fuck that means)?  Don't smell?  Lower standards?  Go to the bars at 45 minutes before closing or better yet the daytime?  Or maybe some self-help groups? 
4) Or maybe the fat guy in spin class can just smile and say hi and if the women around him judge him for being too awkward they interpret that badly and ask the teacher to have him removed or they just smirk back and move on.  Or maybe he tries to be charming so he goes to class 2 minutes early and says something about wondering if the teacher is trying to give him a heart attack and try to get a laugh.   And when that fails because his delivery is off or he mumbles, he takes that with him.  Maybe he should just try to pick up girls at the sandwich shop because he has an IT job and that girl is obviously poorer than he is.   But I guess that creates a power imbalance.... that's no good either right? 
So you are probably wondering: Nivek, jesus christ, you are full of hypotheticals to shoot down every scenario, which any assclown can do.  What the fuck is your point man?    Exactly.  My point is that most advice for people you do not understand is not helpful or actionable.   It isn't much different from those who criticized our own surly poster who went on his weight loss journey through surgery.   Only when the medical doctor started contributing a little did some people maybe realize they weren't experts even if they lost weight themselves.     The get game, take a bath, and aim lower, advice is largely unhelpful.   Just like the advice to put the cookies down was unhelpful in the other thread.  
 
 

I mean…here’s the advice in its simplest form: figure out what will work best for you, in the social environments to which you have access.
Maybe bathing more would help for dude X, maybe developing real conversation skills would help dude Y. Whatever it is in your situation, sit back, observe, and don’t be afraid to modify behavior. That doesn’t mean “be someone you’re not,” it means learn and adapt to situations.

In middle school, I was a pretty solid nerd: very smart (showed off my vocabulary whenever I could, because I was really good at it, and that fed my pretty damaged ego at the time), horrible dresser, wore awful glasses, didn’t pay much attention to my hair. I was…not a catch. But I was interested in girls, and in expanding my social prospects beyond all night sessions of D&D. So, I paid attention to guys I was already friendly with. Yeah, I could wear some clothes like that. And maybe don’t be so eager to show off how smart you are - even better, learn to listen instead of talking so much. Wear contacts. Brush your damn hair. Pay attention to social cues.
High school went well for me. Had a good dating life, made some great friends from a variety of social circles. I didn’t change who I was. I expanded my perspective and skill set.
Dork Boy McGee today should do the same. Maybe not exactly as I did, but in a way that would work for him.
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20 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

So your position that "The advice you're giving isn't helpful" means...what, exactly? We should just let unhealthy attitudes and expectations of women persist, to the point of violence and degradation, just because guys now have their fee fees hurt because women can take or leave them? Perhaps you think we should go back to culturally subjugating them because the apple cart needs not be upset?

Society and cultures and the human species change and evolve. Period. And the people within humanity, and those societies, need to evolve and change with it, otherwise they get left behind. In fact, it appears that being left behind is exactly what has happened to many of these men, and their response was literally to go to less progressive places towards women and try to find some female that will accept him on HIS terms, in exchange for whatever deal they make. 

I don't think teaching men, the younger the better, that to attract someone they might have to be attractive themselves is unreasonable, and I don't think it's that difficult a lesson to impart kids. And it would fix a lot of ills demonstrated here. But I do enjoy your efforts to couch this in science. But maybe you're right, there is nothing to be done here, it's just survival of the fittest playing out in a different way than it has historically. Although I do agree that companionship is a form of inherent, animalistic need for people. On the other hand, you also think you could wreck a chimp, so I go back and forth. 

The worst vice is advice.   A saying I didn't really appreciate until I got older.   

So to your first point, teaching your boys or people that you know well enough is fine as long as one does not take one's own advantages and minimize them*.  Thinking that you are teaching strangers or that because one accomplished some goal, everyone can is the inflection point where advice becomes a vice.  I drew the parallel to the weight loss thread for a reason.   Because unless you really know the people you are advising banal suggestions of better grooming are of little use to the people who have other issues holding them back (even if they are not aware).

That there is unhealthy thinking and expectations appears to me to be a masking or diversionary tactic.  The misogynist incels who listen to Andre Tate are seduced by him and they are likely just blaming women for their own issues.  But I hardly think those could be fixed with a brush and a breath mint or the revelation from PCU: 

Quote

As to the comment about fighting violence and subjugation of women was quite a leap you took.   I didn't follow everything close enough in this thread but if it is here feel free to comment or root it out.  But if you are making a leap from me challenging game/grooming advice is the equivalent of  I hate women!  then this is all moot anyway.   

*If Chris' Pine's advice was to be more Chris Piney, it wouldn't be helpful.  Nor would Chris likely suffer rejection from Gal Gadot just because he happened to stink and be all sweaty from mowing his yard.   

 

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11 minutes ago, Nivek said:

The worst vice is advice.   A saying I didn't really appreciate until I got older.   

So to your first point, teaching your boys or people that you know well enough is fine as long as one does not take one's own advantages and minimize them*.  Thinking that you are teaching strangers or that because one accomplished some goal, everyone can is the inflection point where advice becomes a vice.  I drew the parallel to the weight loss thread for a reason.   Because unless you really know the people you are advising banal suggestions of better grooming are of little use to the people who have other issues holding them back (even if they are not aware).

That there is unhealthy thinking and expectations appears to me to be a masking or diversionary tactic.  The misogynist incels who listen to Andre Tate are seduced by him and they are likely just blaming women for their own issues.  But I hardly think those could be fixed with a brush and a breath mint or the revelation from PCU: 

As to the comment about fighting violence and subjugation of women was quite a leap you took.   I didn't follow everything close enough in this thread but if it is here feel free to comment or root it out.  But if you are making a leap from me challenging game/grooming advice is the equivalent of  I hate women!  then this is all moot anyway.   

*If Chris' Pine's advice was to be more Chris Piney, it wouldn't be helpful.  Nor would Chris likely suffer rejection from Gal Gadot just because he happened to stink and be all sweaty from mowing his yard.   

 

You literally addressed damn near nothing from my original post. So if you want to talk further, go back and try harder. Hell, try at all. Otherwise you’re Helobious just talking through everyone else’s points. You’re not a shitty poster, so you can do a lot better here. 
 

I’ll be very specific in the “violence towards women” angle as you call it. You responded to my post with zero suggestions or thoughts other than “it’s always been like this, it’s hopeless, encouraging male grooming is a waste of time.” While offering no suggestions of your own. Which to me is the status quo, which is subjecting women to more of Stanford swimmers raping women behind a dumpster and then they get off. 
 

by all means, what helps this issue?

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On 6/8/2023 at 10:54 PM, Patricio Swayze said:

Lulz. Applebees in The Valley?? Try in Brazil. People waiting texas bbq joint times to eat there. Then try outback fucking steakhouse. In a country full of cheap and delicious churrascarias. Again, 2 hour long wait at the mall. No thanks.

Bet those churrascarias don't have bloomin' onions though

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14 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


I mean…here’s the advice in its simplest form: figure out what will work best for you, in the social environments to which you have access.
 

I agree with almost everything Nivek said, but you said in one sentence what I couldn’t say in however many pages earlier. People can laugh at how I dress or the Amazon chain or whatever. It works for me and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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11 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

what are some things that wouldn't work with the white women from broken homes crowd? 

I hardly strike out so I wouldn’t know for sure. I can truthfully say I’ve slept with somewhere between 2 and 80 of them. Boat shoes and pastel golf shirts would be a big no from the ones I talk to I believe. Think tattoed stoner/former goth types, not 8 mile. If that makes sense.

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It is very problematic for a bunch of white men from the patriarchal, cisgender heteronormative power structure to be ridiculing a BIPOC person for their culture and cultural style of dress, however tawdry and cheap it may seem from that perspective. Granted, he's being braggadocios, but I think that is a natural part of the biology of the Latin person as it is scientifically understood that their blood is hotter than their European peers. /s

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22 minutes ago, Helobious said:

I hardly strike out so I wouldn’t know for sure. I can truthfully say I’ve slept with somewhere between 2 and 80 of them. Boat shoes and pastel golf shirts would be a big no from the ones I talk to I believe. Think tattoed stoner/former goth types, not 8 mile. If that makes sense.

image.gif.42187182277cfedaba32b130c7c83984.gif

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16 minutes ago, HonkeyVape said:

It is very problematic for a bunch of white men from the patriarchal, cisgender heteronormative power structure to be ridiculing a BIPOC person for their culture and cultural style of dress, however tawdry and cheap it may seem from that perspective. Granted, he's being braggadocios, but I think that is a natural part of the biology of the Latin person as it is scientifically understood that their blood is hotter than their European peers. /s

Like we used to say on the streets, “he started it.”  Plus, to the best of my knowledge, he's the only poster who brags about sleeping with "white women" from broken homes.  Once you bring up race, pretty fair game, no?  

 

See post from him below:

 

I hardly strike out so I wouldn’t know for sure. I can truthfully say I’ve slept with somewhere between 2 and 80 of them. Boat shoes and pastel golf shirts would be a big no from the ones I talk to I believe. Think tattoed stoner/former goth types, not 8 mile. If that makes sense.

 

What kind of dude needs to talk about a) the number of chicks he's slept with (on a message board), 2. their ethnicity, 3. lives in the Valley.  

 

Guy could use some humility to go with them chains and Pumas.

 

 

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