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Trivial things that make you surly


elfenix

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Lyft/Uber drivers that ask me for directions. Had one the other morning that kept asking me which exit to take, which turn to make etc. 

I swear I was one more directional question away from saying "Look, why don't you just fucking pull over and I'll drive."

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2 hours ago, Anwar Namtut said:

I have clients do this all the time. How the fuck to I get your sideways picture that is not an attachment to the e-mail, but embedded in the e-mail into your file? Bitch.

I'm lucky I guess in that my "customers" such as they are need me more than I need them. If I get a phone call or email later asking if I got such and such then I'll let 'em know they're doing it WRONG. If they want to run their business out of a phone that's their dealio, I'm not though so get with the program.

Don't get me wrong, I'm nice as hell to people but the fact is I don't have the time for that shit. Yeah, I guess I COULD screen shot your shit and save it as a jpg blah blah... but I'm not going to, not when I've got 100 other folks who aren't fucking with my day.

p.s. - I'm on a business line so no, I can't send you a text, fuckface. Merry Christmas.

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Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 
Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.
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28 minutes ago, Okie State said:
1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:
Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.

This. Yellow mean proceed with caution. Red means stop. Fucktards who stop on Yellow screw shit up. Fuckwads who don't slow down the slightest screw shit up.

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This may just affect Houston residents, but is there anything AND I MEAN ANYTHING about the late President Bush that we haven’t heard at least 20 times over by now? I guess the local networks are trying to outdo each other with their insane wall to wall coverage. The train, interviewing aggy that can’t say anything about President Bush without tying him into aggy, yada yada yada.....

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When sportscasters talk about one quarterback beating another quarterback. Such as "Peyton Manning was 2-10 (I'm making this up) against Tom Brady." Bitch, the teams play each other, not the quarterbacks. Manning couldn't beat NE's defense, not Brady. Sheesh. I get that if one team gets ahead that can affect the other's game plan, but still...

Also, that the Heisman race has come down to whoever is the best QB or RB on a top 10 team. It's no longer about the best player in college (and hasn't been for some time).

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2 hours ago, Lat22 said:

This may just affect Houston residents, but is there anything AND I MEAN ANYTHING about the late President Bush that we haven’t heard at least 20 times over by now? I guess the local networks are trying to outdo each other with their insane wall to wall coverage. The train, interviewing aggy that can’t say anything about President Bush without tying him into aggy, yada yada yada.....

you're born to an elite family in new england.  you go to the best schools, serve in the military, and then continue your service throughout your life, eventually reaching the highest office in the land.  throughout, you serve with honor, integrity, and dignity.  and, when you die, you get carted off and buried in college station. 

 

wut

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When sportscasters talk about one quarterback beating another quarterback. Such as "Peyton Manning was 2-10 (I'm making this up) against Tom Brady." Bitch, the teams play each other, not the quarterbacks. Manning couldn't beat NE's defense, not Brady. Sheesh. I get that if one team gets ahead that can affect the other's game plan, but still...
Also, that the Heisman race has come down to whoever is the best QB or RB on a top 10 team. It's no longer about the best player in college (and hasn't been for some time).
That's the nature of the game. The ball is in their hands the entire game for their offenses. They have more control than any other player by far. Changing the play, reading the defenses and even making the throws.

It's the same for pitchers in baseball. They have so much control the others don't. Quarterbacks and pitchers set the tone for the games.
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20 hours ago, Okie State said:
22 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:
Lord help us Jesus if the normally red/green lights get switched to blinking red/blinking yellow. People go Full Retard. 

Complete mayhem. Once I finally get up there, I scan to make sure nobody is going and then floor it through the intersection. Everyone either just sits there staring at each other or goes when it's not their turn. All rules go out the window.

The Russians have tapped into the traffic light grid and are tearing at the fabric of America from within.

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2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
15 hours ago, 'stache said:
Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

493f8101a50bb50b3bff4d0099eebdec.jpg

Gonna be extra tough considering you have midget hands

Is your name Donald by any chance?

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19 hours ago, 'stache said:

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

493f8101a50bb50b3bff4d0099eebdec.jpg

 

Get the cable cutters. Or just leave the keys in the car. No one is stealing a silver Camry. 

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On 12/10/2018 at 3:26 PM, elfenix said:

peoples' constitutional inability to keep up with the car ahead of them while going through a protected left. 

the light turned green unexpectedly...and then the 5 cars in front of me all caught me off guard...

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When you're making a left hand turn onto a semi busy 2 way street so you wait what seems like forever for an opening when some turd that's across the road from you needs to go straight and A) goes making you miss the opening because you need to yield to them or even worse B) doesn't go making both of you wait longer not knowing what the other person is going to do at the next convenient opening.


Think i explained that clearly. It works in my head

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1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

When you're making a left hand turn onto a semi busy 2 way street so you wait what seems like forever for an opening when some turd that's across the road from you needs to go straight and A) goes making you miss the opening because you need to yield to them or even worse B) doesn't go making both of you wait longer not knowing what the other person is going to do at the next convenient opening.


Think i explained that clearly. It works in my head

giphy.gif

 

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2 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

The hardest 6 months of my life was when I didn't have status and would have to fight to check-in at the exact, earliest moment as possible to try get the best seat available. Sitting in the middle or back of the plane in steerage on a consistent basis was very humbling. I'd never been so humbled and shamed and questioned the decisions of my life--and really the very fabric of my existence-- than the one time I had a middle seat from ORD seated next to an obese man who farted the entire flight. 

Your will love retirement, with no business mileage status to prop up your sense of worth.  The comedown is healthy, at least I keep telling myself that.

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On 12/6/2018 at 4:54 PM, 'stache said:

Dumb bitch hit my car and now it’s in the shop for at least two weeks. Luckily she was insured and is paying for a rental car but now I have to carry this bulky ass bullshit in my pocket for the next two weeks.

493f8101a50bb50b3bff4d0099eebdec.jpg

Why are the keys hanging on your d?  Seems like an odd way to show scale.

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