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Official 2021 Bitch about family/Holiday Insanity


GhostOfTomJoad

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4 hours ago, ocugolf said:

I’m about done with trying to please both my parents and mother in law on each holiday. As mentioned above, MIL is the morbidly obese ex-school teacher who lives alone a couple hours away. She LOVES the Lutheran church. Plays the organ every week. It’s basically her only time out of the house other than the grocery store and fast food.

My wife, a saint, talks to lonely MIL every night on the phone, often on speakerphone. Christmas is my families this year. So generally we go down a Christmas Eve and come back home and MIL comes down for Christmas dinner and stays a couple of days. Well now, since she doesn’t think she can sit in the car for two hours (she’s driven this regularly in the past year) and she’s the one the has plans (playing church services that she volunteers for), we should cater to her and drive the 5 hours from my parents to her. She’s playing the woe is me “I guess I’ll have McDonalds for Christmas” card and “I guess I won’t even decorate because nobody will come see it”. We were just there for Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving. I don’t want to give in. My parents generally wouldn’t care, as they are rational, kind humans. I just don’t want to cater to the MIL’s demands over things she can fix. She can lose weight. She’s capable of driving. She can not play the day after church service. We are both only children with no kids of our own and I know it makes us flexible but god damn. 

If you give in once, then this is the new norm.

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13 hours ago, ocugolf said:

I’m about done with trying to please both my parents and mother in law on each holiday. As mentioned above, MIL is the morbidly obese ex-school teacher who lives alone a couple hours away. She LOVES the Lutheran church. Plays the organ every week. It’s basically her only time out of the house other than the grocery store and fast food.

My wife, a saint, talks to lonely MIL every night on the phone, often on speakerphone. Christmas is my families this year. So generally we go down a Christmas Eve and come back home and MIL comes down for Christmas dinner and stays a couple of days. Well now, since she doesn’t think she can sit in the car for two hours (she’s driven this regularly in the past year) and she’s the one the has plans (playing church services that she volunteers for), we should cater to her and drive the 5 hours from my parents to her. She’s playing the woe is me “I guess I’ll have McDonalds for Christmas” card and “I guess I won’t even decorate because nobody will come see it”. We were just there for Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving. I don’t want to give in. My parents generally wouldn’t care, as they are rational, kind humans. I just don’t want to cater to the MIL’s demands over things she can fix. She can lose weight. She’s capable of driving. She can not play the day after church service. We are both only children with no kids of our own and I know it makes us flexible but god damn. 

Big Mac and those fries with a sweet iced tea ...👍

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We celebrated one of my brother's birthdays at the Cheesecake Factory yesterday. However, my god father, who planned it, told everyone to be there at 4. He should have known better as he, his girlfriend and me and one of my sisters are the only ones who ever show up on time. Also, he was unaware that the Cheesecake Factory doesn't take reservations. So we go to the bar to get a drink while waiting for the rest of the family to show up, which most were 30 minutes to an hour late. God father's words to my brother, "we're not eating here next year. We could have already been eating at the steak house. At least they take reservations." My sister tells him that it's his fault since he knows for a fact that most of the family never shows up on time. Then she proceeds to tell me how she hates most of that side of the family and only comes to functions because of me, my brother and our god father. Sadly, no drama happened... 

As for Christmas, stay tuned. Shit should be interesting.

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be on time or you're going to be SOL...

Fuck people who don't care enough to be on time.  and that's all it is...not giving a fuck.  You can eat by yourself and on your own dime.

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1 hour ago, slorch said:

be on time or you're going to be SOL...

Fuck people who don't care enough to be on time.  and that's all it is...not giving a fuck.  You can eat by yourself and on your own dime.

One of my top pet peeves are dudes that can't be on time.   Women, well, hell, they are what they are but a man who can't be on time irritates the hell out of me. 

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43 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

One of my top pet peeves are dudes that can't be on time.   Women, well, hell, they are what they are but a man who can't be on time irritates the hell out of me. 

If my wife didn’t know how to be on time there wouldn’t have been a third date. It’s infuriating and a clear sign people don’t give a shit about you. 

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My daughters are 20 (no pics), one works and goes to school full time, the other has 2 jobs. It is difficult to get their schedules to align for family things like Christmas or thanksgiving. So far I've had my dad acting like I didn't care to have a family gathering because I don't know when my kids are available, my sister act like one of my kids is actively trying to avoid Christmas, my MIL is upset because she didn't get to see both kids at thanksgiving and doesn't feel it's fair that my family gets to see both kids on both holidays. I don't know WTF these people expect from me. Yes, my kid with two jobs should've made arrangements to have at least one afternoon off but she didn't. I didn't think about family shit at 20 either, so I'm not here to judge. My sister was texting me some bullshit about it, though, and I just wanted to say "Yeah, it sucks she works 2 jobs, maybe she should give one of them to your 30 year old son, who can't be bothered to get one for himself because he's a fucking loser" but I took the high road. 

Now I get to have a separate Christmas thing for each kid. Nobody is really happy, so I guess that means it's fair. Fuck.

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14 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My daughters are 20 (no pics), one works and goes to school full time, the other has 2 jobs. It is difficult to get their schedules to align for family things like Christmas or thanksgiving. So far I've had my dad acting like I didn't care to have a family gathering because I don't know when my kids are available, my sister act like one of my kids is actively trying to avoid Christmas, my MIL is upset because she didn't get to see both kids at thanksgiving and doesn't feel it's fair that my family gets to see both kids on both holidays. I don't know WTF these people expect from me. Yes, my kid with two jobs should've made arrangements to have at least one afternoon off but she didn't. I didn't think about family shit at 20 either, so I'm not here to judge. My sister was texting me some bullshit about it, though, and I just wanted to say "Yeah, it sucks she works 2 jobs, maybe she should give one of them to your 30 year old son, who can't be bothered to get one for himself because he's a fucking loser" but I took the high road. 

Now I get to have a separate Christmas thing for each kid. Nobody is really happy, so I guess that means it's fair. Fuck.

Maybe they are though?  And good for them.

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This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

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18 minutes ago, nnm said:

This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/

There's a whole subreddit devoted to it as well.  

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2 hours ago, nnm said:

This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

He's an asshole for not posting pics of his Aunt's Tata's.

He is also an asshole if he was able to get and then use the topless picture for his Holiday card.

But just making the request is more of an inappropriate or jerk level action.  Not full asshole.  

He needs to try harder.

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3 hours ago, nnm said:

This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

He needs to Photoshop his aunt topless in an old family photo and send it out

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On 12/13/2021 at 8:43 AM, 4th&Five said:

If my wife didn’t know how to be on time there wouldn’t have been a third date. It’s infuriating and a clear sign people don’t give a shit about you. 

And people who are perpetually late betray a sense of either complete selfishness, or a complete inability to handle their shit.

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On 12/13/2021 at 10:13 AM, statsman said:

From Cormac McCarthy’s “The Crossing”:

 “All my life, he said, I been witness to people showin up where they was supposed to be at various times after they'd said they'd be there. I never heard one yet that didnt have a reason for it.
Yessir.
But there aint but one reason.
Yessir.
You know what it is?
No sir.
It's that their word's no good. That's the only reason there ever was or ever will be.”

This is complete bullshit.

Yes, most of the time people are late it's on them, and people who are habitually late are selfish and inconsiderate.  But to pretend there is no good excuse for being late is dumb. 

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5 hours ago, nnm said:

This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

Like a freaking BOSS!!!

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8 hours ago, nnm said:

This morning I stumbled onto a Twitter wormhole, which is custom made for Surlyites:  "Am I The Asshole?"  Various tales of people doing Surly-like stuff and then asking AITA?  As expected, the answer is usually yes. 

An example is the post below, in which the poster told his aunt to go topless in a family photo and pretend to suckle him, and doubled down by telling his aunt to "flash those tits."  

Leaving it in this thread because many of the more recent posts have to do with ruining the holidays.

 

 

 

200.gif

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On 12/13/2021 at 7:39 AM, mininghorn88 said:

I have impressed with my kids that it is better to be an hour early than a minute late.

I mean... that's a good general rule to impress upon your kids but depending on circumstance that isn't true. Like - for any social occasion ever. 

For work/school/travel etc., sure. 

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Probably not a great idea for some of you advertise that your children just show up to random public places to loiter for 59 minutes on a regular basis.  

My two little ones are at least getting up and dressed for school on time these days.  I'll take that as a Yuge Win.  We'll get to professional etiquette down the road.  They'll be teleporting at that point so I have no idea what to impress upon them at this point.  I was always a stickler for punctuality both socially/professionally and with family.  Then Covid happened and now, I just don't give a shit.  I'm on Island Time.  But the Island is me, the Grateful Dead, booze, and something called "reality."  Not sure.

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I get the show up early rather than late statements but I used to work with a sales guy who always was 30+ minutes early to a sales appointment, then show up and ask to be seen then vs waiting around for the agreed appointment time.  Used to piss me off whenever I'd go make calls with him because he wanted to be early and then impatient about waiting around until the customer expected us.

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My grandpa did the same thing.  He was like Jules and Vincent in "Pulp Fiction"...he'd get to a hit and if he was early...he'd hang back in the hallway/lobby/round the corner.  He built a trucking empire based on that fact.  If the driver was early, he was ordered to hang back.  Early might be folksy in the South, but when the yardmaster/dock foreman aren't ready for your trailer...you hang the fuck back.  Early in freight was more annoying than 5 minutes late in freight.  Of course, that was before geosynchronous clocks.

 

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1 hour ago, ztejas said:

I mean... that's a good general rule to impress upon your kids but depending on circumstance that isn't true. Like - for any social occasion ever. 

For work/school/travel etc., sure. 

My kids (now adults) have common sense.  They understood what I was implying.

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On 12/15/2021 at 12:21 PM, TrashMaster G said:

This is complete bullshit.

Yes, most of the time people are late it's on them, and people who are habitually late are selfish and inconsiderate.  But to pretend there is no good excuse for being late is dumb. 

Yeah, there are reasons, but you should have demonstrated behavior to the point where people think, "Holy crap, something bad must have happened.  Slorch is never freaking late."

Can't remember what the circumstances were, but we had a meeting in Rosenberg(SW Houston) at 8AM.  I left my house at 6AM from Oak Ridge/ The Woodlands for what should be about 1hr and 30 minute drive. I get to 59 on SW side of Houston and it's all fucked up.  I call my boss and tell him I'm going to be late, and I know in Houston, traffic's not an excuse; but this time it just was.  He basically said, "gotdammit slorch, if you're calling me already, pretty much everyone else( from the north side) will be an hour late."

I'd also posit this, if you're going to be late, call your host and let them know why.  It doesn't need to be, "well the kids wouldn't listen this morning"  Lazy mom excuse... just beat their ass and go. Joking but not joking...

 

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On 12/15/2021 at 12:21 PM, TrashMaster G said:

This is complete bullshit.

Yes, most of the time people are late it's on them, and people who are habitually late are selfish and inconsiderate.  But to pretend there is no good excuse for being late is dumb. 

It’s not bullshit.  It’s wisdom to be applied wisely. 

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3 hours ago, slorch said:

Yeah, there are reasons, but you should have demonstrated behavior to the point where people think, "Holy crap, something bad must have happened.  Slorch is never freaking late."

Can't remember what the circumstances were, but we had a meeting in Rosenberg(SW Houston) at 8AM.  I left my house at 6AM from Oak Ridge/ The Woodlands for what should be about 1hr and 30 minute drive. I get to 59 on SW side of Houston and it's all fucked up.  I call my boss and tell him I'm going to be late, and I know in Houston, traffic's not an excuse; but this time it just was.  He basically said, "gotdammit slorch, if you're calling me already, pretty much everyone else( from the north side) will be an hour late."

I'd also posit this, if you're going to be late, call your host and let them know why.  It doesn't need to be, "well the kids wouldn't listen this morning"  Lazy mom excuse... just beat their ass and go. Joking but not joking...

 

If you're on time 99 percent of the time and call the 1 percent you are not, that is good with me.  And this is from someone who hates being late.

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On 12/15/2021 at 4:24 PM, davidg said:

I get the show up early rather than late statements but I used to work with a sales guy who always was 30+ minutes early to a sales appointment, then show up and ask to be seen then vs waiting around for the agreed appointment time.  Used to piss me off whenever I'd go make calls with him because he wanted to be early and then impatient about waiting around until the customer expected us.

This shit annoys me to no end. I will usually leave them in the lobby for an extra 5-10 minutes after the appointment time out of spite. +/- 5 minutes is my acceptable window. 
 

My brother is in the show up an hour early club, we have started telling him the event starts 30-60 minutes later than planned.  

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4 hours ago, Archer said:

My brother is in the show up an hour early club, we have started telling him the event starts 30-60 minutes later than planned.  

This is a very rare club.  More often it's the "tell them the event starts 30-60 minutes earlier" so they'll get there on time club.

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8 hours ago, OneOfTheOutOfFocusGuys said:

It’s not bullshit.  It’s wisdom to be applied wisely. 

No, it's bullshit.

There absolutely are legitimate reasons to be late.  There are things that are both out of your control that you cannot plan for.

Bad traffic? Out of your control, but you can plan for that.

Wife?  Out of your control, but you can plan for that 

Weather? Out of your control, but you can plan for that.

Five car pileup happens on the way and highway shuts down for a half hour so Lifeflight can land and airlift someone to a hospital?  Out of your control and something you can't plan for.

Dude in front of you on the highway isn't paying attention and dodges debris in the road last second which he clips, sending it into your path, you hit it and get a flat? Out of your control and you can't plan for that.

What you can control is informing your hosts that you will be late as soon as practical so that nobody waits on you.

99.9% of the time it is in your control.  You don't have to be late aside from extraordinary situations. And if you are and it's not, you are rude and selfish.

 

50 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:
On 12/15/2021 at 12:21 PM, TrashMaster G said:
This is complete bullshit.
Yes, most of the time people are late it's on them, and people who are habitually late are selfish and inconsiderate.  But to pretend there is no good excuse for being late is dumb. 

You sound like you're late a lot.

You sound like you're reading-impaired.

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3 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

No, it's bullshit.

There absolutely are legitimate reasons to be late.  There are things that are both out of your control that you cannot plan for.

Bad traffic? Out of your control, but you can plan for that.

Wife?  Out of your control, but you can plan for that 

Weather? Out of your control, but you can plan for that.

Five car pileup happens on the way and highway shuts down for a half hour so Lifeflight can land and airlift someone to a hospital?  Out of your control and something you can't plan for.

Dude in front of you on the highway isn't paying attention and dodges debris in the road last second which he clips, sending it into your path, you hit it and get a flat? Out of your control and you can't plan for that.

What you can control is informing your hosts that you will be late as soon as practical so that nobody waits on you.

99.9% of the time it is in your control.  You don't have to be late aside from extraordinary situations. And if you are and it's not, you are rude and selfish.

 

You sound like you're reading-impaired.

I have this former boss, and I really like her. When I worked there, her dad was always around.  Super cool dude, always bringing muffins or cookies that he made. 
He died.  I was headed to the funeral. Fucking cement truck overturned and closed down the freeway.  Backup for 20 miles during rush hour.  I missed the funeral, and I'm still embarrassed about it.  

And yeah, she knew about the cement truck.  Everybody knew about it. 

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4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:
On 12/15/2021 at 12:21 PM, TrashMaster G said:
 

You sound like you're late a lot.

It's a difficult situation when repair calls or customer meetings run longer than expected.  Hopefully customers understand when a 2p "check out your leak" turns into 4p.

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Just remembered a story:

I'm always on time.  When I was doing medical, the owner and his wife weren't so punctual.  They were late a lot.

So, we are flying back east to work on a project.  Really important meeting on the following morning, and we are going to Central Pennsylvania, a place that isn't easy to get to.  Flight is, for purposes of this post, 0800 on a Sunday.

I'm cruising up the road at 0630 headed for SNA, just a few minutes from the parking lot.  They (already at the airport) are calling me panicked..."you're gonna miss the flight, yada yada, you won't have time to park, you need to use valet, etc".  

I let them ramble on for a few minutes, then I say "hey, let me ask you a question...do you realize that last night that it was "fall back" for the clocks?"...

 

 

 

Long pause

OK, see you when you get here.

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On 12/15/2021 at 4:12 PM, ztejas said:

I mean... that's a good general rule to impress upon your kids but depending on circumstance that isn't true. Like - for any social occasion ever. 

For work/school/travel etc., sure. 

 

On 12/15/2021 at 4:31 PM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I've told this story before, but as a kid in MN I remember waiting for my grandparents to arrive for a weekend dinner. I saw my Grampa's big Chrysler coming up the block, slow down in front of the house, and then pull away.

I asked my dad why would grampa pull up and leave like that? He asked me what time it was. I looked at the clock on the wall and said it was 4 o'clock.

He said "are you sure?"

I looked at it closer and said "well, it's 3:57 if you're being exact. "

He said "your Grampa was told to be here at 4. He'll be here at 4." And he pulled up the driveway at 4 on the dot.

 

On 12/15/2021 at 4:42 PM, Lobo said:

My grandpa did the same thing.  He was like Jules and Vincent in "Pulp Fiction"...he'd get to a hit and if he was early...he'd hang back in the hallway/lobby/round the corner.  He built a trucking empire based on that fact.  If the driver was early, he was ordered to hang back.  Early might be folksy in the South, but when the yardmaster/dock foreman aren't ready for your trailer...you hang the fuck back.  Early in freight was more annoying than 5 minutes late in freight.  Of course, that was before geosynchronous clocks.

 

Larry David Undecided GIF - Larry David Unsure Uncertain - Discover & Share  GIFs

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18 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

I have this former boss, and I really like her. When I worked there, her dad was always around.  Super cool dude, always bringing muffins or cookies that he made. 
He died.  I was headed to the funeral. Fucking cement truck overturned and closed down the freeway.  Backup for 20 miles during rush hour.  I missed the funeral, and I'm still embarrassed about it.  

And yeah, she knew about the cement truck.  Everybody knew about it. 

Well don't miss the opportunity to personally express your feelings about it all.  Then post pix here.

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My mom's sister is in the process of moving back to Texas from North Carolina and is living with her "temporarily" while she decides where to live.  My mom is 91 and lives alone and I'm the nearest offspring so I'm frequently at her house taking care of shit for her.  Now every time I'm there I get to hear about how Biden should be shot in the head and the pandemic is a conspiracy by the Democrats to steal the election.  This is my Aunt who told me during the election that Trump wasn't a racist because she once saw him kiss a n***** baby.  We always have Christmas Eve dinner at mon's house so it should be fun this year.

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On 12/19/2021 at 12:21 AM, usmc0331horn said:

Welp this Christmas is just fucking great. My stepdad apparently dropped dead this evening while watching the football game. My poor angel of a mom is beside herself and we all now have to go out to western Kansas to deal with it all instead of enjoying the season. I'm in shock. You know those men who are just alpha and know how to fix anything and everything and can work on any piece of machinery and car? That was my stepdad. You never imagine a guy like that dying. Like ever. They can't die can they? I don't think he suffered so that's good. Life can really suck sometimes. But we're gonna have a hell of a party in his honor. He loved MGD and drank it all the time when he was working in his shop. He loved woodturning lathes and spent countless hours after his day job working on them. Hated free time or down time. Always had to be doing something. RIP Tom Wallsmith. Now you can be with your son who died in Iraq.

Sorry for your loss.

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On 12/15/2021 at 2:31 PM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I've told this story before, but as a kid in MN I remember waiting for my grandparents to arrive for a weekend dinner. I saw my Grampa's big Chrysler coming up the block, slow down in front of the house, and then pull away.

I asked my dad why would grampa pull up and leave like that? He asked me what time it was. I looked at the clock on the wall and said it was 4 o'clock.

He said "are you sure?"

I looked at it closer and said "well, it's 3:57 if you're being exact. "

He said "your Grampa was told to be here at 4. He'll be here at 4." And he pulled up the driveway at 4 on the dot.

My folks used to do this.  I remember Christmas at our place 7-8 years ago.  I look out the window for some reason and my parents are in their parked car.  Dad is reading the newspaper.  Because it was 15 mins before our agreed upon time.  I had to go out and tell them to get their asses into my house.

My wife is the single most habitually late person that has ever walked the earth.  This may sound like hyperbole.  It is not.  It drives me insane and has been at the root of MANY intense arguments.  We are certain she has/has always had ADD, which my daughter has as well.  My daughter has had every manner of test and her diagnosis has been certified.  But ADD was never a thing with our generation.  You were just stupid and/or inattentive.  But during one session, the psychologist mentioned a phenomenon called "time blindness". "A good sense of time is one critical executive function. It involves knowing what time it is now, how much time is left, and how quickly time is passing. People with ADHD tend to be "time blind," meaning they aren’t aware of the ticking of time. As a result, they often struggle to use time effectively."  This is her.  She literally cannot conceive of the space time continuum.  She thinks in her mind she can run to the store, the post office, maybe get her nails done, all in the span of 20 minutes.  It is baffling.  And I'm the asshole if I harp on the issue.  Fortunately just about everyone knows that if (when) we're late to something, it is 100% her fault.  /rant.

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Welp, my dad's crazy wife (no pics) managed to get my sister (no pics) worked up. She needled all of us kids and got one of us going. Left a voicemail jacking her up as to why I wasn't doing something right.  Generally we ignore such things.  Like literally don't reply to the VM, text or Facebook message.  But she caught the sister at a weak moment, and now it's on.  She called her back or something.  

Their house is a hoarder mess.  I'm generally pretty tough, and I don't even wanna drive past that place.  So we always do get togethers somewhere else.  This time it's gotta be at a restaurant, as the 1 local sibling just had a baby.  Dad's wife is insisting we do it there, and that ain't gonna happen.  She's deathly afraid of my dad's 80 year old sister and also me.  Myself I don't even notice when she's needling.  So I'll probably hafta call dad and jack him up again.  He'll then stand up to the wife and we'll be good for a year.  It's the cycle we're on.

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