Jump to content

maga vs the swifties (taylor's version)


henrygandorf

Recommended Posts

49 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

As a single dad with 2 sons, I have no exposure to Taylor Swift and I really don't give a shit about pro football so my interest in the chiefs or the Kelce brothers is whatever. I'm squarely in the "who gives a fuck" camp but I do have to admit, I was secretly hoping for a chiefs comeback last night just for the maga tears. 

Pretty much me.  I didn't hate Taylor Swift but never found the music worth listening to.  But when it became apparent that she had a good heart and was smart and was getting shit from MAGA, I'm all fucking in.  Not as all in as I would be if she were lip syncing Madonna and striking the pose, but still, all in.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Have we ever discussed what type of animal you could beat in a fight?

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

  • Haha 2
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

Literally all of your new stuff is illegal in the US and about 8 other countries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Have we ever discussed what type of animal you could beat in a fight?

Based upon one of my friends' story of one of her friends drunkenly entering her (yet another) friends' apartment late one night and playfully kicking what she thought was a cat's toy across the room, I can beat a hedgehog. 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

No pterodactyl? Soft-ass kids of today.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Have we ever discussed what type of animal you could beat in a fight?

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Could his pay stub beat up your pay stub?

  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Goredho said:

Other than his need to flash his MAGA card, it was a normal interaction.

Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

'Intoxicating Cologne'...60% of the time it's 120 proof and works every time.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:

I think that's Taylor's mom.

Correct. Also, didn't know this...

Quote

Taylor Swift's mom is Andrea Swift (née Finlay). Andrea is a former marketing manager at an advertising agency. She was born on January 10, 1958, in Pennsylvania, United States. She attended Memorial High School in Houston, Texas, and graduated from the University of Houston.

Surely we've got some members that went to Memorial in the mid-70s...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Correct. Also, didn't know this...

Surely we've got some members that went to Memorial in the mid-70s...

wait a minute.  I know her.  we had geography together!  

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

56 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Did he talk in a high whiny Tucker voice, or a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice? Because I can only respect a low gruff narrating-a-truck-commercial voice.

He spoke like a goddamed moron.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Gatorubet said:

Do you even NFL conspiracy bro? 

IMG_2332.jpeg.722c403f4f32ba989c9286259a920c92.jpeg

Here, Swift and Goodell script out the last 10 plays of overtime. Even more difficult, Goodell directs the post-game kiss scenes. 

“Thank you, Taylor.  Thank you for saving the NFL.” 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

Are you Nick Adams renowned Alpha Male?  

  • Haha 6
  • Rage+1 1
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

60% of the time...  It works every time...

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, troph said:

Heck yes! I thought for sure I was going to have to explain the reference. 

I swear that line has been stuck in my head like a permanent earworm any time I think of how I smell/stink.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

is this the next annoying thing that will totally make people watch football not that much anymore?

No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, HOOKEM4 said:

No, this is the NFL doing whatever it can to gain back fans after all they lost from the kneeling for basic human rights debacle. They were struggling mightily after that if you remember. They almost got back into the black thanks to TS. They might just survive after all.  

Anyone else get a wwe vibe from the trophy area and narration when they began the broadcast?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, DixonHur said:

True story, one time I was walking through the Everglades and got attacked by a panther, a black bear, a crocodile, and a 12-foot python all at the same time.  After I was done I had a couple pairs of new boots, an area rug, and some rather intoxicating cologne.  

I look forward to the day when you could simply say you were attacked by a bear. 

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should be Swiftpilling. You need to be Travis and TayTay Maxxing. Just follow the light, really. All you need to do is watch football and enjoy a conventionally attractive woman who sings inoffensive pop songs.  Your politics need to be “let’s be normal and nice.” They are trying to wake us from our long national nightmare. 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Helobious said:

So am I a MAGA-tard if I just wanted the 9ers to win because I’m sick of the chiefs, don’t like mahomes, don’t like Kelce or Swift, and like watching football games without seeing or hearing about someone watching from the press box every 10 seconds? From reading this thread I guess I am.

Every 10 seconds huh…

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Helobious said:

No. But people gave me a lot of shit on the baseball board a couple years ago for saying I could beat up Myles Straw, a 5’9” 170 lb MLB center fielder. I’m literally both taller and bigger and likely tougher than him, but I was told I’d have absolutely no shot against him in a fight because reasons. It was so stupid of me to even suggest it.

He hits like shit, so please go ahead. Even missing some spring training would be nice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



×
×
  • Create New...