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How to talk to Republicans who don't like "your facts" or facts in general.


horn4life

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Simple dismissal of factual reality has been a fundamental lynchpin of Republican politics for so long I actually don't know where to start.  Wille Horton, Death Panels, Obama is a Muslim, Trump added a lot more jobs than Obama and on and on and on.  But I think the willingness for the masses to believe false information was crystalized in the 2016 campaign, and has only been accelerating as the "fake news/fake media" attacks on factual information has made many Republicans shift to twitter and Facebook for "their facts." 

Well obviously to a normal smart person getting your news off of facebook is fucking stupid as shit.  We have all heard the word for word regurgitations that mirror the disinformation.  Things ike I heard in the Spring, "If Biden wins everything will be open November 4th!"  When college educated people IN THE FUCKING HEALTH FIELD asked my wife about Fauchi, actually having a patent to make money on the virus, you have to shake your head.  How do those of us who actually enjoy a fact based discussion approach our Republican friends?  I personally and going to try over the coming months and years to try to factually inform my Trump friends and neighbors VERY GENTLY as to what the facts actually are.You see Trump folks honestly believe that Trump gave us the greatest economy ever!  The honestly cannot IMAGINE a world where President Trump did not blow Obama away in job creation... because it was "the greatest economy ever!!!"  Unfortunately this position is impossible to support with facts from any non-facebook source, with ACTUAL facts. The actual facts are that Trump simply never created more jobs than on his watch than the economy he inherited... PRIOR TO COVID!!!!  Also it's hard to not consider a lot of our neighbors and friends racist leaning when they complained fervently about that lazy Obama golfing all the time, while asserting the Church attending Obama was "a muslim." Then in the next breath the same folks thought Trump a fine Christian and hard worker, despite obvious evidence to the contrary.  Then embrace of false information for me is a toughie.  As how do you have a rational discussion with people who simply selectively pick and choose, or purely discard factual information.

I personally want to try and be gentle, and try to educate those who did believe falsehoods and fervently repeated falsehoods gleefully for the past 6 years.  Anyone have any good thoughts about how to introduce factual information to our Republican friends that might allow their views to be less shaped by false information?

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Why? I talked to my father the other day, he conceded that Trump was a flawed man and not perfect. I stopped him there, since no one is perfect that is not a standard and a defense. He reluctantly agreed. He agreed that toddlers should not have to ask for representation and that it was cruel to split families. He started agreeing more and more, we were making headway. He asked for proof that it was right wingers shooting up the police during BLM protest. I gave it to him.

Two days later he doubled down, trump is an American hero. He doesn’t have time to research everything(but he has time to watch propaganda tv and right wing talk radio).

Election is a fraud. This man used to not prescribe to cruelty, intolerance, or tautology. My father was brain-washed.

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I was talking to a couple of coworkers about the election on Thursday morning, one of whom is for sure a Trumper but tries to downplay it. Things started normal until he brought up the sharpies and the fraud.

It actually seems like I had some success with him just by sticking to what even most Trump supporters know about the man: that he's a total clown. That even Trump appointee judges weren't going to deal with his bullshit in their courtrooms. I stayed away from any mention of "fairness" or identity politics that would immediately out me as a lib.

Success in this case means I got him to quit arguing and just say something like "Well I just hope it's all over soon!" Yeah, man, so do I.

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8 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

I tried for several years.  I tried several different approaches.  I’ve quit trying.

Me too. 

Apparently I'm the one who doesn't know all the facts. I believe whatever the lying mainstream media shoves down my throat, without bothering to investigate the truth about the climate change hoax, the Russia hoax, the Covid hoax, and on and on. I've lost lifelong friends despite my best efforts to be respectful and polite (which probably aren't very effective; I do tend to lose patience with obvious bullshit). 

What really gets to them is when they are really confronted with facts that contradict their stated values systems - some of the shit Trump has done is a case in point. They prefer to ignore it, but sometimes you can put it in a way they have to confront it. I did this with Trump's Covid lies, undeniable because Woodward caught them on tape, and that's when a friend since early childhood stopped speaking to me.

I've still got a bet with him - in 2016 we had bet on whether Trump was going to get rid of the carried-interest loophole like he promised in the campaign. I gave him until the end of the first term or he got removed from office, whichever came first; my buddy is going to have to give $100 to the ACLU after Jan. 20 (he hates the ACLU with a white-hot passion). He's welched on earlier bets, though, so I don't think he'll come through. I'm hoping the fever breaks in the next couple of months, when reality has a chance to settle in, but I really doubt it.

Loyalty is all with these people. They cherish the lies that support their team over truth and pretty much anything else. I don't think there is any way to reach them.

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Gotta be honest, I'm coming around to the @Huckleberry method of just telling people that they're stupid. Not in a mean or insulting or teasing way. Just informing them that they're stupid, they should feel shame for being stupid, and they should try harder in the future to not be as stupid.

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4 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

Before figuring out how to change someone's mind ask yourself this: Why do I want to?

Then answer that question honestly.

i ponder that every now and again.  sometimes there are real answers though beyond just ego gratification.  it's bad for the country to have an electorate that doesn't know what's going on around them.  i believe our system is better that some central african republic systme. there is a patriotism in it.

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For most conservatives, it doesn't matter. We like to think that they share our fundamental values and simply disagree with us because they're misinformed. It's nice to think that they share the goal of everyone having real access to healthcare and just disagree with how that should be obtained. It's nice to think that they share the goal of ending childhood hunger and just disagree with some proposed liberal solution because they think it's inefficient. Etc.

They don't share our fundamental values, though. They don't believe everyone should have real access to health care. They don't think childhood hunger is something we should be trying to solve. They think a lack of access to health care, childhood hunger, and a thousand other things we'd like to improve are just part of the natural state of the world and that it is immoral to try to change that state.

Edited by wildcat09
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I've pretty much quit trying. It typically goes like this:

Trumper:  Why are the libs doing this? (counting mail in ballots after election day)
Me:  Because this action by the GOP forced them to (news article about not allowing mail in ballots to be counted before election day)
Trumper:  Fake news! (Objecting to CNN or whatever)
Me:  Its a verifiable fact (Look at the state legislature vote breakdown and compare against any source you like)
Trumper:  But what about that?!  (Brings up Hunter Biden)
Me:  That has nothing to do with your original argument.
Trumper:  See, they have no answer for that!
Me (in my head, while unfollowing): Do you have kids?  A job?  Responsibilities of any kind?  How the fuck do you have time to endlessly cycle through the list of bullshit until everyone around you gives up trying to engage you in any way?
Trumper:  Why did Facebook flag my shit as fake and misleading?
Trumper's Friends:  Crickets.
Trumper:  Fuck it, I'm going to Parler.

Edited by Goredho
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I had a serious discussion last night about this topic. We’ve decided the following:

1. Eliminate - people from our lives that we don’t care about that are too stupid or brainwashed to understand reality.

2. Tolerate - people who we want or need to have a relationship with by refusing to ever discuss politics. Ever.

3. Escape - from as much political discussion as possible because we’ve realized this problem is so big, we can’t solve it and it’s making our lives much worse by trying to figure out ways to solve it.

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You have to speak the language with Trumpkins. They don't care about the things you or i do.

 

I simply show them the following image:

Biden_zpsqtp3t2f8.png

 

And tell them not to worry, Biden is a true "alpha". I mean, look at those bikers' faces as ol' Joey blue eyes snuggles up to their woman.

Biden_zpsqtp3t2f8.png

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8 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Gotta be honest, I'm coming around to the @Huckleberry method of just telling people that they're stupid. Not in a mean or insulting or teasing way. Just informing them that they're stupid, they should feel shame for being stupid, and they should try harder in the future to not be as stupid.

I've responded to a couple of people I know who announced their departure to Parler with a simple "lol" and that's it. 

One of them asked why it was funny and I explained exactly why it was funny. He didn't appreciate the explanation. 

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35 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

i sort of think our generation is lost.  you have to start with early education on how to detect propaganda and instill a civic duty to do so.

Which is why the far right wants to stop teaching critical thinking skills and scientific method.  They want you to align with them based on you feeling persecuted and inferior and blaming others.

Pointing out they are stupid reinforces the persecution complex.  This leads to the "We have to own the libtards that hurt me with so called 'facts' behaviour."  To them it's all about winning, not being right so they dig into their bad positions because going home and rethinking their lives is too hard.

Rethink My Life GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Edited by TexasEd
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6 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

I've responded to a couple of people I know who announced their departure to Parler with a simple "lol" and that's it. 

One of them asked why it was funny and I explained exactly why it was funny. He didn't appreciate the explanation. 

A lady I know announced to follow her on parler with her @name listed, I replied “lmao parler.”

 

She replied to 3 other people asking what it was but didn’t reply to me. 
 

“@personshesreplyingto social media platform that doesn’t censor speech. “

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1 hour ago, Nivek said:

Why? I talked to my father the other day, he conceded that Trump was a flawed man and not perfect. I stopped him there, since no one is perfect that is not a standard and a defense. He reluctantly agreed. He agreed that toddlers should not have to ask for representation and that it was cruel to split families. He started agreeing more and more, we were making headway. He asked for proof that it was right wingers shooting up the police during BLM protest. I gave it to him.

Two days later he doubled down, trump is an American hero. He doesn’t have time to research everything(but he has time to watch propaganda tv and right wing talk radio).

Election is a fraud. This man used to not prescribe to cruelty, intolerance, or tautology. My father was brain-washed.

You can reach consensus but as soon as they plug in to FOX or OAN, their mental hard drive just gets wiped clean and prior programming reinstalled with updates.

Edited by Mdhorn
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20 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Gotta be honest, I'm coming around to the @Huckleberry method of just telling people that they're stupid. Not in a mean or insulting or teasing way. Just informing them that they're stupid, they should feel shame for being stupid, and they should try harder in the future to not be as stupid.

It helps if discussions are over text / email.  I just throw their BS in their own face via screengrabs.  I also laugh - a lot.  It’s therapeutic for both parties.  But make it clear you’re laughing at them, not with them - they’re easily confused.  

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I happily accept them going to Parler and freeing up FB.  It'll act just like Google+ and in a short time, they'll be back when they get tired of family and friends not following them over.  And once they all leave, just maybe, I can get back on FB once again.  

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These people aren’t faced with a choice between mere truth and reality, they are faced with a choice of feeling a sense of belonging and purpose, or else facing the reality that they aren’t all that special in the way they’d like to be. They will absolutely continue clubbing truth and reality to death until they finally win, and consequently earn the right to rebuild truth and reality in their own image. Shaping reality is the most important spoil of war that they’re after.

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20 minutes ago, Mdhorn said:

You can reach consensus but as soon as they plug in to FOX or OAN, their mental hard drive just get's wiped clean and prior programming reinstalled with updates.

Ain't that the truth. Both of my parents actually quit the habit of Fox News in the background 24/7, and are now way more open to discussion and considering other viewpoints, even if they don't agree. They're still Republicans through and through--and I'm guessing that they voted for Trump--but there's a tangible difference in their outlooks now. They don't just default to "liberals are evil and up to nefarious, immoral things."

I don't give a shit what anyone's political views are. But, as soon as you start ramping up the conspiracy theories, you've outed yourself as a someone with the inability for basic reasoning, and I know exactly where you get your information from.

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50 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Why? I talked to my father the other day, he conceded that Trump was a flawed man and not perfect. I stopped him there, since no one is perfect that is not a standard and a defense. He reluctantly agreed. He agreed that toddlers should not have to ask for representation and that it was cruel to split families. He started agreeing more and more, we were making headway. He asked for proof that it was right wingers shooting up the police during BLM protest. I gave it to him.

Two days later he doubled down, trump is an American hero. He doesn’t have time to research everything(but he has time to watch propaganda tv and right wing talk radio).

Election is a fraud. This man used to not prescribe to cruelty, intolerance, or tautology. My father was brain-washed.

I've tried this approach.  Try to focus on a very narrow, easily provable set of facts.  Anything that relies on media reports will not be sufficient.  You need original quotes, preferably by Republican sources.  The theory is that if I can get them to agree that something out of their echo chamber is false, maybe that will drive enough of a wedge that they will stop listening to the echo chamber.  It's like the Miracle Worker, where if I can just teach them to sign W-A-T-E-R, everything else will fall in place. I haven't been successful yet.  I've been able to convince them of a single item, but they quickly change the subject.  They don't want to examine why they believed the bullshit in the first place. Still, I will continue to try this method on people who are at least trying to appear like they are engaging in a conversation.  

35 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Gotta be honest, I'm coming around to the @Huckleberry method of just telling people that they're stupid. Not in a mean or insulting or teasing way. Just informing them that they're stupid, they should feel shame for being stupid, and they should try harder in the future to not be as stupid.

I've done this approach, mostly on random social media.  The idea is that if you get them to show their ass enough, they won't enjoy it, and maybe they will be more reluctant to post bullshit.  It does nothing to help change their mind, but at least it can slow down the rate in which they post misinformation.  I've had some success in this. 

31 minutes ago, wildcat09 said:

For most conservatives, it doesn't matter. We like to think that they share our fundamental values and simply disagree with us because they're misinformed. ...They don't share our fundamental values, though. 

This is what I have discovered when challenging them on human rights issues.  As long as they can pull out a "both sides" argument, there is no reason to address the basic problem.  It's not important whether kids are in cages, causing trauma that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.  The only thing that matters is whether the Obama administration also put kids in cages.  Because the political point is more important than ending the cruelty.  Because the cruelty does not bother them, it only bothers them that it might hurt Trump.  

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27 minutes ago, Mdhorn said:

You can reach consensus but as soon as they plug in to FOX or OAN, their mental hard drive just get's wiped clean and prior programming reinstalled with updates.

This. I’ve had multiple conversations with people and they seem to have at least acknowledged Dotard is a shitty human, but when I see them again later, it’s like starting from square one. 

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I've just chosen to disengage.

Unfollowed probably 40% of my FB friends list and have no intention of reversing any of them.  If they want to have a conversation IRL I'm more than happy, but as soon as the Dems are evil shit starts I'm out.

There is a reason that our founding fathers wanted a complete separation of church and state.  Religions have made voting in the US a "Good vs Evil" only play.  

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2 minutes ago, UncleCharlie said:

I've just chosen to disengage.

Unfollowed probably 40% of my FB friends list and have no intention of reversing any of them.  If they want to have a conversation IRL I'm more than happy, but as soon as the Dems are evil shit starts I'm out.

There is a reason that our founding fathers wanted a complete separation of church and state.  Religions have made voting in the US a "Good vs Evil" only play.  

This is where I ended up. I decided to make my Facebook account about friends in my immediate circle and those that live in my neighborhood who I see on a semi-regular basis. After getting rid of hometown friends who I haven't seen in person in 20+ years to Trumpkins, I went down from 350 friends to 85.  I haven't seen one Pro-Trump post in a year.  If you use Chrome, you can also install the Social Fixer extension and block all political ads and posts regardless of the source.  As a result, Facebook has become an extremely pleasant experience where it's just sharing pictures and life updates. 

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When someone brings up a wrong or questionable data, I think the best path is to say that you heard that rumor as well and that it was proven not true. Don't call them stupid. Just say you've heard they're wrong. 

Examples could include something like "30% of Philly votes only voted for Biden, when that % is normally 2% in Presidential races."  Or "Michigan had more votes than people." Tell them they're wrong. And if they want to argue it, stop them and say you're not arguing facts. Tell them to find the source of this info that isn't FB, Twitter, 4chan or TexAgs. 

At worst this will get them searching the web for 30 minutes so you can get away from them.

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1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

I had a serious discussion last night about this topic. We’ve decided the following:

1. Eliminate - people from our lives that we don’t care about that are too stupid or brainwashed to understand reality.

2. Tolerate - people who we want or need to have a relationship with by refusing to ever discuss politics. Ever.

3. Escape - from as much political discussion as possible because we’ve realized this problem is so big, we can’t solve it and it’s making our lives much worse by trying to figure out ways to solve it.

This is where I'm at. 

57 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

I've responded to a couple of people I know who announced their departure to Parler with a simple "lol" and that's it. 

One of them asked why it was funny and I explained exactly why it was funny. He didn't appreciate the explanation. 

I would just respond with the laughing emoji at a couple of instagram stories of a screenshot from Facebook about the left "having to own that we elected Joe Biden for the next 4 years" followed by a wall of text.  

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2 questions:

1) What is Parlor?

2) Why do you people facebook so much if you don't have an enjoyable experience on face book?  I literally pay someone to go through my facebook for me on social media and tell me what I need to know (cool life milestones for people) for keeping up or life purposes, but you couldn't make me go through and see what rando's in my extended social circles think about the "issues of the day".  It doesn't seem fun.  Why do it?

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1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

I had a serious discussion last night about this topic. We’ve decided the following:

1. Eliminate - people from our lives that we don’t care about that are too stupid or brainwashed to understand reality.

2. Tolerate - people who we want or need to have a relationship with by refusing to ever discuss politics. Ever.

3. Escape - from as much political discussion as possible because we’ve realized this problem is so big, we can’t solve it and it’s making our lives much worse by trying to figure out ways to solve it.

This is pretty much where I'm at with this.  I'll add to #2 that I actually talked to a friend who is a therapist and she suggested setting structural boundaries out loud with people that fit in this bucket.  I have yet to do that with my family, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be necessary over the next few months.

The whole situation is hard on my heart, but I don't have the personality where I can just nod my head and ignore blatant falsehoods that are lobbed at me in conversation.  I just don't have that tool in my kit unfortunately. 

Edited by The Royal We
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1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

I tried for several years.  I tried several different approaches.  I’ve quit trying.

Yeah, there's no point.

Trying to explain to a Trumpkin why his entire worldview is wrong is as likely to work as trying to explain to a schizophrenic that his delusions aren't real.  They're real to him, dammit.

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It's hard to talk to someone during the day when Hannity, etc talk to them every night, and tell them exactly what they want to hear.

And when the TV is turned off, they can pick up their phone and read exactly what they want to read.

And when they wake up the next day, the cycle starts anew.  You, I or anyone else can't combat that until you remove the outside stimuli that reinforces what they want to believe.

 

 

 

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29 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

2 questions:

1) What is Parlor?

2) Why do you people facebook so much if you don't have an enjoyable experience on face book?  I literally pay someone to go through my facebook for me on social media and tell me what I need to know (cool life milestones for people) for keeping up or life purposes, but you couldn't make me go through and see what rando's in my extended social circles think about the "issues of the day".  It doesn't seem fun.  Why do it?

Agreed that people should quit Facebook, but what kind of law do you practice where you need someone to go through YOUR Facebook account?

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2 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Agreed that people should quit Facebook, but what kind of law do you practice where you need someone to go through YOUR Facebook account?

Not law.  Sales.  I have a law degree and have passed the bar and am current in my hours but don't use it. 

I didn't have a facebook until I got in sales and was told I literally wasn't allowed not to have one.  Now I have something like 1500 friends or followers or whatever you want to call it and I'd prefer to commit seppuku before I  want to scroll through that feed and see what everyone thinks politically, nor am I going to subject anyone else to that either.  That isn't what most people want from that I don't think.  This board we've agreed we are going to listen to/shout over the top of people about politics so that's cool.  Normal life? No fucking way. Idiots and mouth breathers?  No way.  I've made the point on here before that no matter how dumb you think someone else is based upon your interactions on here they are smarter and better informed than at least 80 percent of the country.  Giving voice or time to the LCD?  Not a chance in hell. 

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Fox gets too much credit here for the mental destruction of the right.  Sure, they were winning the game comfortably with a 3 yards and a cloud of dust offense and a solid defense.  But coming out of halftime the coach decided to put his freshman 5* running back named Face Book in the game and he started ripping off runs for 15 yards a pop and turned it into a 50 point rout.

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6 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Guys, it's like y'all just now met some crazy people.

How do y'all deal with Aggy? You don't wrassle with Aggy-- you get muddy, and the Aggy gets a hard little pecker.

It is indeed a mountain to overcome.  Despite our our constant good natured cajoling of all things aggy, TAMU is in fact a descent higher education option.  One would think that once you got past the hyper partisanship of sports, that Surly would be slightly left and texags would be slightly right relative to each other where politics is concerned especially considering the overwhelming white male (assumed) demographics of each site.  Even if both sites were shifted farther apart one would still expect a certain give and take and some salty discourse and airing of supported opinion.  That is not the case.  The surl may be underrepresented on the right but texags is almost full on propaganda.

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16 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Guys, it's like y'all just now met some crazy people.

How do y'all deal with Aggy? You don't wrassle with Aggy-- you get muddy, and the Aggy gets a hard little pecker.

I know some nice guys that I like to talk about hunting or gardening or home improvement stuff or BBQ and Mexican Food and drink a beer with, but they are aggy.

They eventually say or post unrelated aggy crap in an effort to own the lib/sips and it happens almost every time.

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My mother is a trumpkin. I don't bother discussing politics with her. If she says something, I either ignore it, or scoff and change the subject. I haven't seen her in a while. We do talk on the phone every now and then. My daughter is pretty close to her. Last time we saw her was last christmas. She had Fox news on, pretty much continuously. I told her that if she didn't want us to leave right now, she needed to turn it off.

She turned it off. After some initial tenseness, it went ok.

 

other than this board, I NEVER talk politics with anyone other than my wife and 1 or 2 close friends, who I know agree with me. If anybody else, from either side, brings up politics, I nod my head, smile, and exit the conversation.

 

I recall some years back, I was visiting a friend. We were sitting on his back porch, having a smoke and drinking some beers. His neighbor hears us and came over to invite us over later that night. He was having a small gathering. We went over later, and were sitting around his backyard, drinking and talking. Eventually, he started going off about the wetbacks and the muslims. Stared out fairly innocuous, but just got worse and worse. I just sat there, not saying anything. When he finally mentioned the n----- in the white house, I stood up and said "If we weren't in your back yard at your house, I'd beat your racist ass right now" and left.

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It is the equivalent of de-brainwashing someone that was in a cult. If you've seen those shows, you know the person has to be sequestered and cut off from the cult, and basically reprogrammed with the truth over time. It is not an easy task. 

Now add in the fact, unless they are a dependent under your roof, you can't stop someone from watching Fox News/Newsmax/ OANN. You can't stop them from injecting hate poison on Facebook/Twitter. 

So in conclusion, you have to do what @Dbeasy said. 

1. Eliminate - this option applies to coworkers, not so close friends, etc in your life. 

2. Tolerate - Family members and close friends. Just avoid all political talk whatsoever. 

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7 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

I recall some years back, I was visiting a friend. We were sitting on his back porch, having a smoke and drinking some beers. His neighbor hears us and came over to invite us over later that night. He was having a small gathering. We went over later, and were sitting around his backyard, drinking and talking. Eventually, he started going off about the wetbacks and the muslims. Stared out fairly innocuous, but just got worse and worse. I just sat there, not saying anything. When he finally mentioned the n----- in the white house, I stood up and said "If we weren't in your back yard at your house, I'd beat your racist ass right now" and left.

Racists want validation and they quickly escalate their racist remarks. I've never discovered that a long term friend was suddenly racist.

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19 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Not law.  Sales.  I have a law degree and have passed the bar and am current in my hours but don't use it. 

I didn't have a facebook until I got in sales and was told I literally wasn't allowed not to have one.  Now I have something like 1500 friends or followers or whatever you want to call it and I'd prefer to commit seppuku before I  want to scroll through that feed and see what everyone thinks politically, nor am I going to subject anyone else to that either.  That isn't what most people want from that I don't think.  This board we've agreed we are going to listen to/shout over the top of people about politics so that's cool.  Normal life? No fucking way. Idiots and mouth breathers?  No way.  I've made the point on here before that no matter how dumb you think someone else is based upon your interactions on here they are smarter and better informed than at least 80 percent of the country.  Giving voice or time to the LCD?  Not a chance in hell. 

I take it you're in hydraulics and may give out some Best Buy coupons from time to time?

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