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New GOP Congressman's entire resume is faked


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45 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

I thought his family didn't have any money.  

Look, there’s the family you’re born into, the family you choose, the family you abandoned while a drag queen in Brazil and the family who bankrolls your fraudulent life and political career. He didn’t say which one 

Edited by Js1
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1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Look, there’s the family you’re born into, the family you choose, the family you abandoned while a drag queen in Brazil and the family who bankrolls your fraudulent life and political career. He didn’t say which one 

Sports teams are like families so maybe it was the volleyball team.

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On 6/10/2023 at 9:09 AM, Red Five said:

Why would they be in danger if their names got out?

Not saying it'd be reasonable to fear for their safety, but he's a widely hated clown people want to see locked up. If I squint I can kinda see why you might not want the world to know you helped bail him out. 

That said, I'm certain this is total bullshit. 

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3 hours ago, Smax said:

So completely out of touch with reality it's frightening. 

3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Santos has to be a Fred armison character, like if we elected borat to congress and SBC didn’t know how to get out of it cleanly so he just kept going. 

It's performance art.  I'm 60% convinced it's all an act.

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6 hours ago, Bullneck said:

Santos as Trump's VP?  Makes total sense.  As much sense as him censuring Adam Schiff.  

Gotdamn, talk about inmates running the asylum.

They could be POTUS and VPOTUS of Cell Block D!

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4 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

You aren’t even 25% conVINCEd.

Obviously he has some mental issues, but even somebody mentally ill would have either had a family member intervene by now, or had a bit of a shock/wakeup call over the arrest.

Call it whatever you want - outkicked his political coverage, whatever, I think he was looking to get into the campaign game, funnel some contributions around and make a tidy chunk of change, play off his race/background (invented or not) and then all of the sudden he accidentally won the fucking thing. He had way too much baggage that he didn't want out there, and probably didn't want people snooping around his finances, and now it's out there.

What does he do?  He doubles down, doesn't hide/goes out in public in his district/city, refuses to resign or admit wrongdoing, ignores reporters asking why he doesn't resign, forces the GOP to defend him, and announces his 2024 campaign, all the while he's got prison time in his future.

That's some commitment to the act.  I think he's decided to completely inhabit the role.

Edited by atomheartbevo
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14 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Santos has to be a Fred armison character, like if we elected borat to congress and SBC didn’t know how to get out of it cleanly so he just kept going. 

I laughed at this when you first posted it, but reading it again, it's a perfect Seinfeld line.  So good.

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5 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

What happens if that happens?

Our little buddy goes back to jail. I'm sure they'd give him a couple days to find replacements first, even though they shouldn't. Edit: Actually the way the order is written leads me to believe he would need to substitute replacements suretors or make some other arrangements acceptable to the state by that 6/22 deadline. 

Edited by Hookah Horns
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Santos pleaded not guilty to the charges. The magistrate judge overseeing his arraignment allowed him to remain out of jail ahead of his criminal trial as long as he agreed to stay only in New York and Washington, DC. Three people initially agreed to put up money for bail, set at $500,000, though the third still-unknown person never followed through.

Santos's father and aunt haven't put up any cash or property to secure the bond, according to one of the orders unsealed Thursday. US Magistrate Judge Anne Shields allowed them to be bail sureties anyway because they "agreed to be personally responsible" for Santos.

"As is common in cases where there is neither property nor cash offered to secure a bond, the Court considered whether the Suretors were truly willing to stand up and make themselves responsible for Defendant's compliance with the terms of his release," Shields said in an order unsealed Thursday.

WTF...did they pinky swear? How do you trust anyone associated with this charlatan? 

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6 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

Why even fight this disclosure?

So he doesn't die in a Brazilian prison.  Same reason Paxton's fighting everything.  Something has changed with international money laundering and PAC donations in the last few years.  I'm too dumb to understand the laws, logistics, or technology.  I suppose my first clue should have been when some Brazilian and Argentine investors randomly showed up to our humble little bank in Chicago.  But it's federally chartered, which is rare.  Meaning it can do business in all states and across all fintech platforms.  And it's small so other than a tier I capital checkup, the OCC pretty  much leaves it alone.  We declined after some robust due diligence.  But this same group has sniffed out a half dozen other 50-state thrift banks.  And I imagine they are just one of many dozen, even hundreds.  I dunno, my conspiracy mind is afoot I suppose.  But there are more and more elected officials that are being spoonfed cash and LP/sidecar opportunities on layup investments.  I'm not even asking questions, they're just offering this shit up.  If my dumbass knows of a half-dozen, there's gotta be hundreds or thousands nationwide.  

The old technique of compromising government officials by threatening to reveal sexual orientation or drug problems is over.  Most people don't give a shit about that stuff anymore.  Gotta find something else to hold over them.  

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4 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

So he doesn't die in a Brazilian prison.  Same reason Paxton's fighting everything.  Something has changed with international money laundering and PAC donations in the last few years.  I'm too dumb to understand the laws, logistics, or technology.  I suppose my first clue should have been when some Brazilian and Argentine investors randomly showed up to our humble little bank in Chicago.  But it's federally chartered, which is rare.  Meaning it can do business in all states and across all fintech platforms.  And it's small so other than a tier I capital checkup, the OCC pretty  much leaves it alone.  We declined after some robust due diligence.  But this same group has sniffed out a half dozen other 50-state thrift banks.  And I imagine they are just one of many dozen, even hundreds.  I dunno, my conspiracy mind is afoot I suppose.  But there are more and more elected officials that are being spoonfed cash and LP/sidecar opportunities on layup investments.  I'm not even asking questions, they're just offering this shit up.  If my dumbass knows of a half-dozen, there's gotta be hundreds or thousands nationwide.  

The old technique of compromising government officials by threatening to reveal sexual orientation or drug problems is over.  Most people don't give a shit about that stuff anymore.  Gotta find something else to hold over them.  

Right but it's just his parents, a painter, and a mail carrier.

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10 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

So he doesn't die in a Brazilian prison.  Same reason Paxton's fighting everything.  Something has changed with international money laundering and PAC donations in the last few years.  I'm too dumb to understand the laws, logistics, or technology.  I suppose my first clue should have been when some Brazilian and Argentine investors randomly showed up to our humble little bank in Chicago.  But it's federally chartered, which is rare.  Meaning it can do business in all states and across all fintech platforms.  And it's small so other than a tier I capital checkup, the OCC pretty  much leaves it alone.  We declined after some robust due diligence.  But this same group has sniffed out a half dozen other 50-state thrift banks.  And I imagine they are just one of many dozen, even hundreds.  I dunno, my conspiracy mind is afoot I suppose.  But there are more and more elected officials that are being spoonfed cash and LP/sidecar opportunities on layup investments.  I'm not even asking questions, they're just offering this shit up.  If my dumbass knows of a half-dozen, there's gotta be hundreds or thousands nationwide.  

The old technique of compromising government officials by threatening to reveal sexual orientation or drug problems is over.  Most people don't give a shit about that stuff anymore.  Gotta find something else to hold over them.  

Again, what does this diatribe have to do with his relatives guaranteeing his bond, but not having to put up any money or property. What's the harm in this getting out, and what does it have to do with brazilian prison? ELI5

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