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Ted Cruz is a piece of shit


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On 7/13/2023 at 2:10 PM, Eskimohorn said:


I’m not asking for a Ted Cruz / Buffalo Bill tuck dance gif

There was a thread here or on TOS of "what celeb have you been told you look like" and I forgot to add a Harris Co deputy told me I looked like BB and, as he was writing up my red tag, if I told him to put lotion on his skin he was throwing me out of his car. He looked like exactly like Super Troopers' Farva. So that was pretty weird. 

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4 hours ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

There was a thread here or on TOS of "what celeb have you been told you look like" and I forgot to add a Harris Co deputy told me I looked like BB and, as he was writing up my red tag, if I told him to put lotion on his skin he was throwing me out of his car. He looked like exactly like Super Troopers' Farva. So that was pretty weird. 

So he was a great big fat person?

 

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54 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

I guess we need a douchebag central forum

Dear Douchebag Central Forum,

I've been reading these letters for years, and I never thought it could happen to me.  But then one day Ted Cruz became my Senator...

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I know most girls age 4-14 get their geopolitical maps from Barbie movies.  My daughter has some Barbie classroom set and there's a map on one of the walls of the U.S.  And you can barely make out anything on it.  So instead of coming up with excuses to constantly be away from my daughters because I know they hate me to their core (and for good reason), I got my oldest a globe and a print children's atlas.  And she loves looking up places and understanding how maps & coordinates work.  But I guess that's why Ted gets all the "World's Greatest Dad" mugs on Father's Day and I got a homemade coffee coaster.

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  • 2 weeks later...
1 hour ago, C-Man said:

I have to assume this has been posted before but if not, enjoy. (Actually, even if it has and you've seen't it before, it's worth a rewatch.)

 

It has and someone is going to eventually say how he changes the politician's name based on location.  Sorry to burst that bubble.

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  • 3 weeks later...

"I'm told this is a joke"???

Ted is the kinda guy you out to see George Carlin or Louis CK or Maria Bamford and he never gets any of the material so you have to explain it to him in real time, and then he turns to the table next to him and says, as they're laughing hysterically, "Hahaha, yes.  I'm told this is a joke."  

Just say "It's a frequently used meme or internet hoax or whatever."  An adult human should never have to say, "I'm told this is a joke."  Just go full Cruz and say, "My staff is reporting this comedic trickery and/or horseplay."  

Yep, I'm going there.  "Heidi, I'm told this is intercourse."  

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5 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yep, I'm going there.  "Heidi, I'm told this is intercourse."  

"Heidi, do humans enjoy this intercourse?"

Also, reminder, Musk is getting rid of blocking, so people can soon post all kinds of stuff in response to Ted's tweets and his intern can't block you.

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35 minutes ago, Thrawn said:

How in the fuck do you Texans keep sending that guy back to DC? JHC!

Isn't there someone else who can represent his shitty values and not be anywhere near the tool bag Cruz is?

 

Gerrymandering and all his constituents care about is owning the libs, keeping their guns and propping up O&G

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