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Ted Cruz is a piece of shit


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3 hours ago, Js1 said:

Ted: "Oh man, I haven't seen this much overhyped media coverage of a flaming crash since 9/11 allegedly happened." Badum-tiss

Ted:  I think we all remember where we were on 9/11.  I don’t remember where my Dad was, though, because he and Osama were keeping their location a secret!  Hey-o!  President Trump told me that one.

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3 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

Exactly what I was thinking.  He could've said "Orlando is nicer than Cancun" and it would've had the same effect, and not pissed off the people in the city where he's speaking.  But that would require some kind of social skill and self awareness.

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4 hours ago, Js1 said:

Biden is in Texas today to assess the winter storm damage - he's seeing Abbott, Cornyn, Lina Hidalgo, Sly Turner, Sylvia Garcia, SJL, Al Green and Lizzie Fletcher.

But not Ted Cruz.

Al Green?

 

4 hours ago, bolverk said:

 

I heard he threw out a good bit of gay projection during this speech as well.  I'm not going to watch it to find out just how graphic he got in describing gay sex, but I hear it was gross, as is everything related to Ted Cruz.

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44 minutes ago, Chooky said:

 

He's not trying to be a politician anymore. He is trying to be a famous podcaster. Between the insurrection and the trip to Cancun, I think he realizes he is not running for President but he can become more famous and richer than he ever thought by being the next Rush.

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7 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

He's not trying to be a politician anymore. He is trying to be a famous podcaster. Between the insurrection and the trip to Cancun, I think he realizes he is not running for President but he can become more famous and richer than he ever thought by being the next Rush.

I agree.  Looks more like he's polishing his televangelist bit.  He's preaching like one.   Like some sort of mixture of Rush and Pat Robertson.  I would imagine there's more money and less oversite in a gig like that too than being a senator.  He knows now he'll never be president. 

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Imagine debasing yourself all weekend in Orlando, wisecracks about Cancun, still throwing your wife and daughters under the bus, worshipping at the altar of Trump, spewing out lie after lie, compromising yourself with every single sentence, tacitly begging for approval from people you despise and feel intellectually superior to at every damn turn, looking like a pathetic goon craving the attention of a man who would sooner shit on your wife's chest than give you a cabinet position.....you do all that at CPAC in Orlando, Florida (the municipal equivalent of a mullet) and you're still just the opening act for a golden statue of Trump wearing Apollo Creed's boxing trunks.  

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2 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

It would be more entertaining if it didn't work on the cult.  But it works.

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once you cross the line the only thing to do its double down. he should be facing trial. lost that chance obviously. now he is just the dumb retarded cousin the terrorists are stuck with. the second he quits or loses office someone will want him dead (some Qtard I mean, of course)

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3 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”

Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?

Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

IOW, Ted has a tiny dick and it's pathetic?  

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You know in True Lies when The Governator and Tom Arnold are listening to Simon (Bill Paxton) run his conman game on Jamie Lee Curtis and they figure out he’s a fraud and a used car salesman, and it’s all so ridiculous that Tom Arnold says, “I’m starting to like this guy!  I mean, we still gotta kill him.  That’s a given.  But, you know.”
Ted Cruz is like that now.  This is all so absurdly pathetic that it’s actually funny.  His attempt to try to own the Cancun thing is to ... talk shit to Orlando about how Cancun is better?  WTF?   How does this guy’s brain even work?
Ted Cruz is what happens if you adopt an autistic alien, craft a suit of human skin for him to wear, show him videos of Eddie Haskell and Gollum as his role models for learning human behavior, and then homeschool him.   How can a person be this bad at relating to other humans?  Serial killers think this guy is not well adjusted.

Nah.

Fuck him.
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2 hours ago, Patrick Bateman said:

A party is only as terrible as the constituents who empower them.  It's become clear..... Texas is home to a bunch of dumbasses.

 

Yep. See aggy and tech and cougar high. 

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I own boots, I wear boots, but good gawd, not with that suit.
 

If those are the boots I think they are, Ted bought them while shopping next to me a few years back at Allen’s on S. Congress (he had just been elected). As he tried on some flashy ostrich boots, I was trying on the basic black Luccheses, I made a crack to my old man about the boots I was trying on being perfect for walking the floor of the senate - definitely a better choice than ostrich, in a fake state whisper kind of tone. And I made eye contact with Ted and grinned - thinking we’d have a chuckle (most politicians are pretty good at banter, particularly self-deprecating banter - I’ve had a laugh with quite a few). He just glared at me, with no other reaction. Nothing. Didn’t engage or say a word.

After we left, my dad and I both commented on what a humorless dick Ted was. We had no idea.....he’s actually 1000x worse than we thought.
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2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


Of those are the boots I think they are, Ted bought them while shopping next to me a few years back at Allen’s on S. Congress (he had just been elected). As he tried on some flashy ostrich boots, I was trying on the basic black Luccheses, I made a crack to my old man about the boots I was trying on being perfect for walking the floor of the senate - definitely a better choice than ostrich, in a fake state whisper kind of tone. And I made eye contact with Ted and grinned - thinking we’d have a chuckle (most politicians are pretty good at banter, particularly self-deprecating banter - I’ve had a laugh with quite a few). He just glared at me, with no other reaction. Nothing. Didn’t engage or say a word.

After we left, my dad and I both commented on what a humorless dick Ted was. We had no idea.....he’s actually 1000x worse than we thought.

 

I love my lucchese ostrich ropers, 100% my goto boots with jeans !!!!!!!!!!!

and fuck ted cruz 

 

your thoughts on black cherry ?

Edited by tx 3 putt
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I love my lucchese ostrich ropers, 100% my goto boots with jeans !!!!!!!!!!!
and fuck ted cruz 
 
your thoughts on black cherry ?

Would love a pair myself.

But I generally know how to match them with appropriate attire.

And I’m not a humorless dick.
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6 hours ago, elfenix said:

i skipped around and didn't see the boots.  i assume, being in texas, i can wear boots with a suit, and it's the particular boots that ted is wearing that are wrong, correct?  do we need to summon @G650?

I didn't subject myself to the face melting awfulness that is Ted Cruz, but my rule of thumb is if Ted is doing it, it's wrong.

 

Boots with suits is defintely a Texas thing though and totally legit

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15 hours ago, Dr. Teeth said:

He's not trying to be a politician anymore. He is trying to be a famous podcaster. Between the insurrection and the trip to Cancun, I think he realizes he is not running for President but he can become more famous and richer than he ever thought by being the next Rush.

It’s a race between him and Hawley to be the next personality cult. Positions on policy don’t matter anymore 

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8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


If those are the boots I think they are, Ted bought them while shopping next to me a few years back at Allen’s on S. Congress (he had just been elected). As he tried on some flashy ostrich boots, I was trying on the basic black Luccheses, I made a crack to my old man about the boots I was trying on being perfect for walking the floor of the senate - definitely a better choice than ostrich, in a fake state whisper kind of tone. And I made eye contact with Ted and grinned - thinking we’d have a chuckle (most politicians are pretty good at banter, particularly self-deprecating banter - I’ve had a laugh with quite a few). He just glared at me, with no other reaction. Nothing. Didn’t engage or say a word.

After we left, my dad and I both commented on what a humorless dick Ted was. We had no idea.....he’s actually 1000x worse than we thought.

 

Edited by DonkeyCigars
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