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Stop being such fucking pussies


immamac

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2 hours ago, Brothahorn said:
2 hours ago, David Dennison said:
I'm 49 so we're in the same boat. 
The fact that it took so long means 2005 still hasn't worn off for me.

Same age. 91-96. Damn, I wish could do it all over.

 

2 hours ago, sportsbay said:

How much would you pay, going back as your 48-49 year old self, to re-live one of those really good party weekends? ~~~ Just one.

49 y/o here as well.  My stint on the 40 Acres was 90 - 95.  Five of the best years of my life.

Not sure if we would have had any classes together unless you were in the ChE curriculum.  Maybe some math or biology (I was pre-med for a while).

Damn, just think if I had opted for nursing, then I could have had all the monies!

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2 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Now I wanna tell you a story. I'm gonna ask ya'all to close your eyes while I tell you this story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves.

This is a story about a football coach taking on the head job at the flagship university of the 2nd largest state in the Union. I want you to picture this football coach.

Suddenly a bus races up. The Arkansas Razorbacks jump out and call the hogs. They drag his pathetically talented offensive line into a nearby field and continually push their shit in with a 3 man front, and then they rip the freshman QBs clothes from his body. Now their running backs climbs on, first one then the other, then the other…… then the other, raping them, shattering everything innocent and pure -- vicious thrusts -- in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they killed any shred of dignity his team had, murdered any chance for them to go to the CFP, to have the oddly magical season so many of their delusional fans thought was possible, they decide to turn them over to their meth addled hillbilly friends to the west for target practice. So the hillbillies start throwing counters and punt passes at them. They throw 'em so hard that it tears the flesh of his team’s unathletic defense all the way to their bones -- and then they storm the field.

Now comes the Cowboys for a hanging. They have a rope; they tie a noose by letting his team get out to an early 14 points lead. Imagine the noose pulling tight around his neck as again his scheme just can’t counter-balance the holes his offense and defense has for four full quarters of football. The team and its fans are pulled into the air, their feet and legs go kicking and they don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and the team falls back to the earth for a bye week.

Can you see him? His team raped, beaten, and broken by crushing losses, soaked in their collapses, soaked in their failures, soaked in their blood -- left to die.

Can you see him? I want you to picture that football coach.

Now imagine he’s Urban Meyer.  
 

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This has hit the point in a lesser season where I stop watching the games live. Unless we somehow find ourselves in a game where a win gets us in the conference title game I'll just record and watch the games later at night. I'll rearrange my Saturdays for a winning, contending season but not for this. 

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20 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

This has hit the point in a lesser season where I stop watching the games live. Unless we somehow find ourselves in a game where a win gets us in the conference title game I'll just record and watch the games later at night. I'll rearrange my Saturdays for a winning, contending season but not for this. 

Exactly this but I started the season this way too.

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5 hours ago, Bateshorn said:

Jesus titty fucking Chr….

Step away from the team.  Reclaim your falls.  Enjoy the play offs. Take a fucking mental health break if you can’t stomach this shit.

You’re a sentient sack of meat on a speck of dust hurtling through an infinite void. From a universal time perspective, your time here isn’t even worth measuring. Try to enjoy it.
 

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6 hours ago, immamac said:

I'm pissed, I'm not at all happy with what has gone down the last 2 weeks. I'm disgruntled at the fact that we have had 2 similar 2nd half collapses which led to losses in games that were wins. I'm disgusted with the pathetic excuse of an offensive line. 

That doesn't mean I'm shutting the site down. That doesn't mean we aren't going to have a tailgate for Kansas and Kansas state. That doesn't mean we are going to stop paying players. 

Get your shit together and stop embarrassing yourselves. 

 

Yes but are we going to fire PK and Sark and hire Belichick and get Muschamp to come run the defense? What about quitting this Mickey Mouse league tomorrow and immediately joining the SEC and refunding all of the season ticket holders' money? Those are the real things that should really be done in response to these worst losses of recorded history. 

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5 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

I just worry that other teams seem to figure out the offense after 1H and as more film has been established as to Sark's tendencies etc that this trend will continue.

Sark seems to script a good couple of series but once teams adjust he seemingly gets stonewalled.

Didn't you hear from other posters here. Other teams never adjust it is all about our talent.

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4 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Now I wanna tell you a story. I'm gonna ask ya'all to close your eyes while I tell you this story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves.

This is a story about a football coach taking on the head job at the flagship university of the 2nd largest state in the Union. I want you to picture this football coach.

Suddenly a bus races up. The Arkansas Razorbacks jump out and call the hogs. They drag his pathetically talented offensive line into a nearby field and continually push their shit in with a 3 man front, and then they rip the freshman QBs clothes from his body. Now their running backs climbs on, first one then the other, then the other…… then the other, raping them, shattering everything innocent and pure -- vicious thrusts -- in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they killed any shred of dignity his team had, murdered any chance for them to go to the CFP, to have the oddly magical season so many of their delusional fans thought was possible, they decide to turn them over to their meth addled hillbilly friends to the west for target practice. So the hillbillies start throwing counters and punt passes at them. They throw 'em so hard that it tears the flesh of his team’s unathletic defense all the way to their bones -- and then they storm the field.

Now comes the Cowboys for a hanging. They have a rope; they tie a noose by letting his team get out to an early 14 points lead. Imagine the noose pulling tight around his neck as again his scheme just can’t counter-balance the holes his offense and defense has for four full quarters of football. The team and its fans are pulled into the air, their feet and legs go kicking and they don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and the team falls back to the earth for a bye week.

Can you see him? His team raped, beaten, and broken by crushing losses, soaked in their collapses, soaked in their failures, soaked in their blood -- left to die.

Can you see him? I want you to picture that football coach.

Now imagine he’s Urban Meyer.  
 

Serendipity?

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So UT football is routinely in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Surly, take it like a man!
2C693BDD-C446-4D24-ADE3-765D7865B5BA.gif.a3a285562e031908cdc01a6a16f1007c.gif

Love this movie. Tom Arnold is a funny mf and Jamie Lee didn’t disappoint.


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So, I actually watched Sark's PC after the game, and it struck me that Sark said the same thing over and over again:

"You can't coach 4 years of Turtle Tom Vaginitis out of players overnight."

I mean...

That's more or less what he said.

Like what he actually said was more like, "The issue is psychological; we can't just try to hold on; we have to keep being aggressive" or some shit like that. You know how Sark is. He's not going to flat-out say "these poor sots have been coached by the previous regime to be pussies." Not in so many words. He's not that kind of guy.

But, like... you knew that's what he meant. 

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Now I wanna tell you a story. I'm gonna ask ya'all to close your eyes while I tell you this story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves.
This is a story about a football coach taking on the head job at the flagship university of the 2nd largest state in the Union. I want you to picture this football coach.
Suddenly a bus races up. The Arkansas Razorbacks jump out and call the hogs. They drag his pathetically talented offensive line into a nearby field and continually push their shit in with a 3 man front, and then they rip the freshman QBs clothes from his body. Now their running backs climbs on, first one then the other, then the other…… then the other, raping them, shattering everything innocent and pure -- vicious thrusts -- in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they killed any shred of dignity his team had, murdered any chance for them to go to the CFP, to have the oddly magical season so many of their delusional fans thought was possible, they decide to turn them over to their meth addled hillbilly friends to the west for target practice. So the hillbillies start throwing counters and punt passes at them. They throw 'em so hard that it tears the flesh of his team’s unathletic defense all the way to their bones -- and then they storm the field.
Now comes the Cowboys for a hanging. They have a rope; they tie a noose by letting his team get out to an early 14 points lead. Imagine the noose pulling tight around his neck as again his scheme just can’t counter-balance the holes his offense and defense has for four full quarters of football. The team and its fans are pulled into the air, their feet and legs go kicking and they don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and the team falls back to the earth for a bye week.
Can you see him? His team raped, beaten, and broken by crushing losses, soaked in their collapses, soaked in their failures, soaked in their blood -- left to die.
Can you see him? I want you to picture that football coach.
Now imagine he’s Urban Meyer.  
 

The Aristocrats!


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1 hour ago, sportsbay said:

Josh Thompson 42.5, Casey Thompson 44. Yeah sark and PK blow. Fire them Both lol. Offensive leader and defensive leader suck shit through a straw. That’s gotta be the coaching, because 8 months of coaching can correct 4 years easy peasy boys. Oh I got it, let’s try their back ups. Oh, shit. The back up is ass my dude? That’s gotta be sarks fault for not going to the portal. At the same time the portal ain’t gonna fix all these issues. Haha why the fuck do I come here for this shit. 
 

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We can still finish the season 10-3 (with all losses being against teams that should finish the season ranked), which any reasonable person would say is an amazing season considering we have a new coaching staff breaking in a new QB.  I consider that outcome unlikely, but odds are we will finish somewhere between 9-4 and 7-6.  

7-6 would be a bad start, and would put a lot of pressure on Sark to finish in the top 10 next season lest he lose recruiting momentum beyond repair.  But 8-5 would be about what was expected, and an 8-5 team (probably finishing the season ranked in the 20s) returning everything except Overshown and a couple overrated DBs should be poised to win 10 games next season.  9-4 would probably mean a top 20 ranking and project us as a real contender next year.  We just need 1 ten win season to get the train out of the station.

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8 hours ago, David Dennison said:

Yaaaaaaaay, Kansas and Kansas State.

We can't leave the Big 12 soon enough.

Yeah, now we get to pretend playing Miss St, Vandy, USCe, Arky, and - let's face it - Ole Miss is a big deal. Net gain, I know, if for no other reason than ESPN has been pumping 'em up for two decades now. Believe the hype, bc it benefits UT now.

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9 hours ago, immamac said:

I'm pissed, I'm not at all happy with what has gone down the last 2 weeks. I'm disgruntled at the fact that we have had 2 similar 2nd half collapses which led to losses in games that were wins. I'm disgusted with the pathetic excuse of an offensive line. 

That doesn't mean I'm shutting the site down. That doesn't mean we aren't going to have a tailgate for Kansas and Kansas state. That doesn't mean we are going to stop paying players. 

Get your shit together and stop embarrassing yourselves. 

im smart enough stuart smalley GIF by Saturday Night Live

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8 hours ago, sportsbay said:

While I too hailed the move to the SEC, I have come to terms that the future will be more of the same, if not worse.  If I, as a Texas graduate, am going to continue to follow Texas football, there are some terms that have to be accepted and understood.

1.  Texas will not be good in the SEC at football.  It's taken Arkansas 3 decades to get close to .500 ball in the SEC, Texas will be the same.

2. Teams like OSU, Tech, and TCU in the Big 12 will have a better chance at making the playoff most years than Texas while in the SEC.  

3. Our Athletic Department does not understand and will not do what it it requires to win at the sport of college football.

4. The amount of money created by the move to the SEC will remedy short term accounting needs for our AD but long term viability is cloudy at best.

5.  We will be really good at non revenue sports and I believe that Texas basketball has some great potential.  Baseball looks good too but football...... well moral victories are going to be the name of the game.

 

We are going to have to accept that winning on the field is not everything and that financial dominance is everything.  Even if it's your wallet that is the engine.  

We'll get them next year!!!

    

I think the OP was meant for you.

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8 hours ago, ATXhorn17 said:

Newsflash: If you watched yesterday, Baylor is a well coached team. We’re not going to beat them either.

This was not sold as a rebuild, but we’re looking down the barrel at 4-4

If you were honest with yourself, you were thinking 8-4 or 9-3.

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7 hours ago, sportsbay said:

And you thought you were going to be looking at planets through a telescope,lol.  Same here.  Please calculate the mass and distance to Uranus, lol.

I had the same experience in Meteorology.

We didn't get to stand in front of blue screens and talk about cold fronts and high pressure.

weather report GIF

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6 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Now I wanna tell you a story. I'm gonna ask ya'all to close your eyes while I tell you this story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves.

This is a story about a football coach taking on the head job at the flagship university of the 2nd largest state in the Union. I want you to picture this football coach.

Suddenly a bus races up. The Arkansas Razorbacks jump out and call the hogs. They drag his pathetically talented offensive line into a nearby field and continually push their shit in with a 3 man front, and then they rip the freshman QBs clothes from his body. Now their running backs climbs on, first one then the other, then the other…… then the other, raping them, shattering everything innocent and pure -- vicious thrusts -- in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they killed any shred of dignity his team had, murdered any chance for them to go to the CFP, to have the oddly magical season so many of their delusional fans thought was possible, they decide to turn them over to their meth addled hillbilly friends to the west for target practice. So the hillbillies start throwing counters and punt passes at them. They throw 'em so hard that it tears the flesh of his team’s unathletic defense all the way to their bones -- and then they storm the field.

Now comes the Cowboys for a hanging. They have a rope; they tie a noose by letting his team get out to an early 14 points lead. Imagine the noose pulling tight around his neck as again his scheme just can’t counter-balance the holes his offense and defense has for four full quarters of football. The team and its fans are pulled into the air, their feet and legs go kicking and they don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and the team falls back to the earth for a bye week.

Can you see him? His team raped, beaten, and broken by crushing losses, soaked in their collapses, soaked in their failures, soaked in their blood -- left to die.

Can you see him? I want you to picture that football coach.

Now imagine he’s Urban Meyer.  
 

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6 hours ago, USNALonghorn said:

I'm not opposed to criticizing and questioning our coaches' product on the field, even when considering the resources they have to work with. Sark's play calling has been an upgrade, but there are still a few WTF moments per game. The defensive side of the ball is a bit more concerning. The defense did not lose yesterday's game, but they were the unit that needed to sustain performance when the offense got shut down. The personnel decisions and defensive formations still lead me to question whether PK is the right hire. Right now, I'm holding my final judgment of Sark until I see his recruiting classes and portals, since talent is our biggest issue right now.

That being said, holy shit... We have 7-8 redundant "look at me" threads on the football page right now. You would think that the "This is Who Steve Sarkisian is" thread would be enough. But no, we need a poll about Sark being a fraud, our fourth quarter yardage, and some other bullshit hypothetical debates. These two losses have been incredibly painful, but you're not the only one disappointed and pissed. There's no need to clobber a good football page with drunken idiocy. 

Then we have people posting on this thread about how Mack's success was only because of VY and it was a "fluke". HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. Get a hold of yourselves. Ten straight ten win seasons was not a fluke. We had four BCS bowl game appearances, two of which were National Championships, and three of which were victories. We had a solid recruiting pipeline with a badass defenses and special team units. Also, if Mack wasn't an unlucky motherfucker, we would've had another MNC appearance in 2008 and probably a win in 2009 if it wasn't for a freak injury. VY was a generational talent, but there are 22 positions on a football team. These rosters were stacked with talent and we were the most complete team in the nation in 2005 and arguably in 2008. This was no "fluke". I know that Mack Brown left on incredibly poor terms, but you can still appreciate what he did before his fall. 

Lastly, there's the "we will never be good again idiocy". It literally takes one correct hire to change things. Our resources didn't disappear overnight. The right coach will establish the recruiting machine and being in the SEC will only HELP that aspect of the program.

We had the BEST winning % in the country from 2000-9.  We had the highest number of AP Poll points.  We were in 2 title games.  We were one quarter of Mack's stubborness on Chris Simms from a 3rd and a dropped INT from a 4th.  That dropped INT and a fluke hit on Colt McCoy kept us from winning 3 MNCs in that decade.  Meanwhile in that decade (which included 3 Nick Saban seasons) Alabama only had 6 winning seasons.  If you take out their forfeits, it was only 4.  Even ignoring the forfeits, they only had 4 seasons better than 7-5.

W'ell be bakh.

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10 hours ago, sportsbay said:

 

3. Our Athletic Department does not understand and will not do what it it requires to win at the sport of college football 

    

You mean the same athletic department that spent millions of dollars for a new end zone that sits empty for rich people?

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Who knows what the fuck is going to happen over the next few years.  I’ve seen some goods and bads with Sark, and I’m not convinced he’s the man, but it’s not time to pull the plug yet.  It’s also not time to declare us as the next Nebraska/Michigan/Tennessee/etc....  This school does care about football and if Sark doesn’t work out he won’t last forever.  In 2000-2004 all we wanted to do was fire Mack.  It was actually a surprise when we kicked ass and won the Rose Bowl in 2004.  Even 2005 was a stressful year because most of us at the time were scared that something would go wrong.  I also remember 2008 being quite the surprise, most on the boards at the time picked us to win 9 max thinking Mack was neutered without Vince.  

Im rambling after a few beers and watching old UT football highlights, but I don’t think Texas football is done.  Also, Vince should have won the heisman, OU fucking sucks and i look forward to destroying aggy again.

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1 hour ago, Horn Dogg said:

Who knows what the fuck is going to happen over the next few years.  I’ve seen some goods and bads with Sark, and I’m not convinced he’s the man, but it’s not time to pull the plug yet.  It’s also not time to declare us as the next Nebraska/Michigan/Tennessee/etc....  This school does care about football and if Sark doesn’t work out he won’t last forever.  In 2000-2004 all we wanted to do was fire Mack.  It was actually a surprise when we kicked ass and won the Rose Bowl in 2004.  Even 2005 was a stressful year because most of us at the time were scared that something would go wrong.  I also remember 2008 being quite the surprise, most on the boards at the time picked us to win 9 max thinking Mack was neutered without Vince.  

Im rambling after a few beers and watching old UT football highlights, but I don’t think Texas football is done.  Also, Vince should have won the heisman, OU fucking sucks and i look forward to destroying aggy again.

2008 was a surprise because 2007 was the jail birds team and it looked like mack had lost control of the program. 

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16 hours ago, TheAuditor said:

Outlier?  I don't think you understand how football works.  Other than AL how good has any other team been?  Oklahoma has been good in our little pond.  who else?  We have 1 national championship and 1 national champ game appearance since the turn of the century.  Tell me the 25 teams better than that.  yeah we've sucked since 2010, so have a ton of other teams.  Fuck,  Georgia hasn't won dick in forever.  Aggie?  They have sucked ass for almost 100 years.  Fuck you. 

ohio state, michigan, usc, penn state, florida, florida state, boise state

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18 hours ago, David Dennison said:

Yaaaaaaaay, Kansas and Kansas State.

We can't leave the Big 12 soon enough.

Sounds awfully aggy. Let’s leave a conference we haven’t dominated in over a decade and then claim it’s because the conference is bad. Mediocre UT seasons aren’t going to smell better because mid-level losses are to MissSU instead of OkSU. The only thing that fixes this is winning, consistently. 

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Reading this title sober made me think @immamac wrote it to the football team.

The Horns keeping losing games late because they are not physical enough nor tough enough.  SARK is right to question the mentality of these players right now.  It's also up to SARK to change it.

So, "Hey Texas football players, as our Surly Jesus lookalike says 'Stop being such fucking pussies' and toughen up and win the rest of your games this year" !!!

 

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