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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do


Spur08

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4 hours ago, Budkudzu said:

Purses?  We're talking about fucking purses?   I had to check to make sure I hadn't logged in to the Surly cross dressing thread. 

Uh, you do know which thread this is, right?

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Got a text from my sister earlier asking if she could borrow my car later this month.

 

Me: Sorry, can't. It's a company car. Why do you need it anyway?

Her: We're going to Temecula for a wine festival. There are 6 of us going, and need a bigger car.

Me: Did you say wine festival? DEFINITELY not then.

Her: What if I get a designate driver?

Me: ...

Her: I guess my friend and her hubby can "drive". They both have Tesla Ys that they say can drive themselves.

 

She's a senior director at a fortune 500 company. Great at her job, but can sometimes be dumb as a rock.

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6 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

4th time now, Mrs. ROFL has complained that the TV signal (over the air antenna) must be out due to high winds.

🤦‍♂️

To be fair, this is something that used to happen, in the age  of rooftop antennas. Highly directional yagis had to be pointed at the signal source. Wind could blow them around like a weather vane and there was a decent market for rotators so you could point the antenna in different directions and get a good feed from all three stations...

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1 hour ago, Tex Long said:

To be fair, this is something that used to happen, in the age  of rooftop antennas. Highly directional yagis had to be pointed at the signal source. Wind could blow them around like a weather vane and there was a decent market for rotators so you could point the antenna in different directions and get a good feed from all three stations...

 

 

At grandma's house back in the day, they got two channels if it was pointed in one direction, or they could get a third channel if it was pointed in a different direction. Guess who's job it was to climb up on the roof and reposition the antenna when they wanted to watch that third channel?

 

 

 

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41 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

At grandma's house back in the day, they got two channels if it was pointed in one direction, or they could get a third channel if it was pointed in a different direction. Guess who's job it was to climb up on the roof and reposition the antenna when they wanted to watch that third channel?

 

 

 

... and to this day you list "Antenna Rotator" on your CV, right?

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For y’all dishwasher loading fanatics. 

American Households Are Divided Over How to Load the Dishwasher 
WSJ April 16, 2024

Nina and Stephen Edwards have been on the same page for most things in their 25-year marriage: what to have for dinner, where to vacation, where to set the thermostat in their New York City home. But there is one thing they can’t agree on: how best to load the dishwasher.

A majority of Americans (65%) agree there’s a “right and a wrong way” to load a dishwasher, according to data from YouGov Omnibus. Another poll said the average American household has 18 arguments a month over dishes, from leaving them in the sink to who should empty the dishwasher.

Etc.


WSJ - Printing American Households Are Divided Over How to Load the Dishwasher.pdf

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Miz Long had a solution to the Lone Sock problem. We had a big ol' basket full of 'em. 

if you came up with an LS out of your sock drawer, you could usually find a mate in the basket, but if not, just leave it. The girls had a tendency to rock mismatched socks and call it stylish, even digging in the basket for  inspiring fashionables.

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1 hour ago, Tex Long said:

Miz Long had a solution to the Lone Sock problem. We had a big ol' basket full of 'em. 

if you came up with an LS out of your sock drawer, you could usually find a mate in the basket, but if not, just leave it. The girls had a tendency to rock mismatched socks and call it stylish, even digging in the basket for  inspiring fashionables.

We do the same thing. Amazingly, 99% of them belong to my wife or daughter. It's just a miracle that somehow all my socks stay paired up. 

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On 4/16/2024 at 12:33 AM, Superhero said:

Got a text from my sister earlier asking if she could borrow my car later this month.

 

Me: Sorry, can't. It's a company car. Why do you need it anyway?

Her: We're going to Temecula for a wine festival. There are 6 of us going, and need a bigger car.

Me: Did you say wine festival? DEFINITELY not then.

Her: What if I get a designate driver?

Me: ...

Her: I guess my friend and her hubby can "drive". They both have Tesla Ys that they say can drive themselves.

 

She's a senior director at a fortune 500 company. Great at her job, but can sometimes be dumb as a rock.

Something something driving Asian woman...

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14 hours ago, nnm said:

For y’all dishwasher loading fanatics. 

American Households Are Divided Over How to Load the Dishwasher 
WSJ April 16, 2024

Nina and Stephen Edwards have been on the same page for most things in their 25-year marriage: what to have for dinner, where to vacation, where to set the thermostat in their New York City home. But there is one thing they can’t agree on: how best to load the dishwasher.

A majority of Americans (65%) agree there’s a “right and a wrong way” to load a dishwasher, according to data from YouGov Omnibus. Another poll said the average American household has 18 arguments a month over dishes, from leaving them in the sink to who should empty the dishwasher.

Etc.


WSJ - Printing American Households Are Divided Over How to Load the Dishwasher.pdf 110.63 kB · 2 downloads

My wife and I have gotten into this argument with her claiming there is not right or wrong way.  Now my way gets all the dishes in and arranged so they will get cleaned and sanitized, and hers leaves dishes in the sink for a later load/wash. 

But she is correct, there is not a "Correct" way to load the dishwasher...but there certainly is a more efficient way.

My analogy was that we were driving somewhere and my route got us there in 20 minutes and missed most stop lights and signs, while a second path went through construction, stop lights, and took 40 minutes.  Now neither of these is the "correct" or "right" route to take....but based on certain criteria one is certainly more efficient.

So I obviously did not want sex for a while and I do all the dishes.

 

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Couple of days ago: Wife - "When we are in Vegas, lets go to that Red Bar. I think it is owned by that singer Skelton"

Me: Very confused look "Are you talking about a Blake Shelton Bar or a Red Skelton Bar? Honestly, I'd be interested in a Red Skelton Bar, no doubt"

Wife: "Blake Shelton"

Me - "Damn it!"

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3 hours ago, ABSR said:

My wife and I have gotten into this argument with her claiming there is not right or wrong way.  Now my way gets all the dishes in and arranged so they will get cleaned and sanitized, and hers leaves dishes in the sink for a later load/wash. 

But she is correct, there is not a "Correct" way to load the dishwasher...but there certainly is a more efficient way.

My analogy was that we were driving somewhere and my route got us there in 20 minutes and missed most stop lights and signs, while a second path went through construction, stop lights, and took 40 minutes.  Now neither of these is the "correct" or "right" route to take....but based on certain criteria one is certainly more efficient.

So I obviously did not want sex for a while and I do all the dishes.

 

There definitely is a wrong way to do certain parts of it. Like don't put a plate flush against the opening of a bowl, otherwise the bowl stays dirty. Or don't put flimsy plastic shit in the bottom unless you want it warped as fuck. These are both things my wife has done and still does. 

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For the Dishwasher. She loads. I empty because she has no idea how cabinet space works. As in: We have 5 doors on the main cabinets we use. When I empty the dishwasher, coffee mugs go behind the first door. Second shelf. Wine Glasses and beer mugs 3rd shelf. When she empties them. Wine glasses might be with the Tupperware. Might be with the plates that day. Hell. Could be in the bathroom Who the hell knows. It's more of a stream of conscious way of putting up stuff that organizational.

 

For socks. My wife doesn't care and wears mismatched. I'm a bit OCD on them. I only have black (dress) socks or white (Athletic) socks. About once a year I toss all of them and order like a 20 pack of each. That way, as long as I have the right color they always match and in good shape. I do the same with boxers.

 

Edited by Jameslaw121
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3 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

There definitely is a wrong way to do certain parts of it. Like don't put a plate flush against the opening of a bowl, otherwise the bowl stays dirty. Or don't put flimsy plastic shit in the bottom unless you want it warped as fuck. These are both things my wife has done and still does. 

This. My wife is fond of putting forks tines down so they slip through the bottom and stop the rotor thingy below from turning and ensuring nothing gets clean. 

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On 4/17/2024 at 4:40 PM, Sam Lin said:

You have dress and athletic boxers?

Doesn't everyone????

 

Though I do have different ones for when I'm going to work out/be outside to help avoid swamp crotch. But they're a little more expensive than the Hanes so I don't wear them every day.

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29 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

I still don't understand this.  And I refuse to rewatch the video.

Seriously?   

The man sees the obvious problem and wants to solve it.  The woman wants to discuss the problem instead of letting the man solve it. 

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1 minute ago, Gil Bang said:

Seriously?   

The man sees the obvious problem and wants to solve it.  The woman wants to discuss the problem instead of letting the man solve it. 

Just seems like a clunky metaphor.  But I get the concept.  Because I live it every god damn day.

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31 minutes ago, Ravishing Rick said:

On Tuesday, my wife’s SUV was stuck in the garage because the garage door spring broke and we were waiting for the repair guy to come fix it. She needed to go to a hair appointment that was three blocks away, so she decided to walk since it was close. 

Then it starting raining outside and I told her to just take my truck. In her three block drive, she rear ended another vehicle.  She claims it was unavoidable and not her fault because the driver slammed on his brakes and my truck takes a long time to stop. Unsurprisingly, the insurance company disagrees with her assessment of who was at fault. 

three fucking blocks.  

Unless a woman has a commercial truck drivers license, you don't let them drive your truck. Even in the driveway.

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