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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

If I get a billion dollars and a twelve-inch dick, I don't even need to be a movie star to bed Sydney Sweeney. This is the way to victory.

It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.

 

Edit - Dammit. I’ve been beat to this joke.

 

Edited by Dnaguy
Posted
2 hours ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

nothing makes america great again like *checks notes* Nicaraguan cigars.  

I wouldn’t touch anything promoted by Stone but these are really fucking good:

oliva-serie-v-melanio_8.png


These are good too:
 

la-aroma-de-cuba-mi-amor-new-22_2.png

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

What is the infatuation with how a cigar is rolled and who rolls them?  Would they smoke any different if Pedro rolls them on a table?

They’d smoke better. Stone is a huckster running a con on gullible morons. He’s lying about the virgins. 

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Posted
On 8/16/2024 at 2:18 PM, Red Five said:

If god just snapped his fingers and made Adam, why didn’t he just do that again for Eve, instead of using spare parts from the last thing he created?

Furthermore, why didn’t he just snap his fingers and create a shitload of new humans. That way we wouldn’t have evolved from a bunch of serious incest.

Things I wondered in church at like age six.

I raised similar questions in Sunday school. The incest discussion was weird.

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Posted
1 minute ago, F250 said:

I raised similar questions in Sunday school. The incest discussion was weird.

Go on...

From a very young age, realizing that Adam and Eve had 2 sons (one of whom was deaded), I think that was the first time I began to wonder if I shouldn't take all these stories with a grain of salt. I think I asked my parents on the drive home from church one day, asking them where everybody else came from. Believe it was my mom who said something on the spot about how God must've made other women for Cain to make babies with. I don't think I said anything back, but I did then wonder why they weren't mentioned in the Bible. After all, as a good Southern Baptist, we were all supposed to take the Word literally.  

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Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, F250 said:

I raised similar questions in Sunday school. The incest discussion was weird.

None of the Hebrew Scriptures were written until after Solomon built the temple and hired scribes….

The Torah is a collection of beautiful campfire stories.  

Edited by TeeDubya
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Posted
47 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Go on...

From a very young age, realizing that Adam and Eve had 2 sons (one of whom was deaded),

They had three kids -- Cain, Abel, and Seth.  

Somebody was doing some Oedipal stuff on the side.

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Posted

I know it is super hard to tell with this group of Trump loving morons. However, that has to be a photoshop, right? Not even those assholes are that dumb. That is beyond weird.

Posted

I've always thought jizz jars were as weird as it gets. Maga is about to plummet into even stranger places. God damn. Repeatedly praising Hannibal Lecter during  speeches. All this icky JD Vance stuff. I honestly can't wait to see what comes next from this array of creeps. 

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Posted
23 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Just like to point out the entire Adam and Eve story is complete bullshit and responsible for many of our current problems today, namely patriarchy. 

Not really.  A/E does not explain Asian dynamics or primate societies.   A/E came after, not before patriarchal societies.   

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Posted
8 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

 

I am going to overstep my bounds and DEMAND that one of you Surly lawyers send JD Vance a cease and desist letter from the Aggy Corps of Cadets over these jizz jars.

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Posted

I've wondered this about the Adam and Eve stuff.   

  • If there were other animals in the Garden of Eden, were there mating/breeding pairs or just male animals like Adam.  If it was just males, when God created Eve, did he create all of the rest of the female animals?  If he created mating/breeding pairs, then that means all animals alive today evolved from just 2 animals.  That's a lot of inbreeding.
  • The Garden of Eden would have been somewhere in proximity to the Levant.   How did animals that only live in North and South America get there?  
  • Were animals that God created in the Garden sin free as well until Adam and Eve fucked around and found?  Does that mean that a loving and benevolent God doomed all of his creations to lives of pain and death only because his humans fucked up?  Or did the other animals in the Garden live and die there meaning he made things expendable.  
  • Why didn't God create Adam, and Eve, without the ability to sin?
  • Why tempt them?

Maybe Depeche Mode was right...  God's got a sick sense of humor.

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Posted
8 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

 

The circle is now complete.  

The next aigy bonfire will say "TRUMP" at the top and have all prophesied appointments.

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Posted
2 hours ago, Bojack said:

I've always thought jizz jars were as weird as it gets. Maga is about to plummet into even stranger places. God damn. Repeatedly praising Hannibal Lecter during  speeches. All this icky JD Vance stuff. I honestly can't wait to see what comes next from this array of creeps. 

Go watch or read Handmaids Tale. That’s what’s next. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, Macanudo said:

I've wondered this about the Adam and Eve stuff.   

  • If there were other animals in the Garden of Eden, were there mating/breeding pairs or just male animals like Adam.  If it was just males, when God created Eve, did he create all of the rest of the female animals?  If he created mating/breeding pairs, then that means all animals alive today evolved from just 2 animals.  That's a lot of inbreeding.
  • The Garden of Eden would have been somewhere in proximity to the Levant.   How did animals that only live in North and South America get there?  
  • Were animals that God created in the Garden sin free as well until Adam and Eve fucked around and found?  Does that mean that a loving and benevolent God doomed all of his creations to lives of pain and death only because his humans fucked up?  Or did the other animals in the Garden live and die there meaning he made things expendable.  
  • Why didn't God create Adam, and Eve, without the ability to sin?
  • Why tempt them?

Maybe Depeche Mode was right...  God's got a sick sense of humor.

The simplest answer is that it’s all a myth created by Bronze Age tribesmen who didn’t know where the sun goes at night. In the version of the story where man is created first and woman is created later to keep him company, I think it’s implied that the animals are created in both genders as you’d expect. I don’t think the original audience was expected to take any of it literally. By creating man first, in the image of God, the man is placed in a position of superiority over the woman. The role of the woman to serve the man is a common theme throughout scripture (and the church). But if you take it literally then it makes one wonder if Adam was created with nipples and, better yet, functional testes. Why would he need the ability to create sperm if there was no female counterpart yet to produce fertile eggs? And the nipples especially would seem to have been purely decorative.

As for where all the animals are placed, a better question is why, after the great flood when all the animals in the world found their way to Noah’s ark, did they all find their way back to the part of the world that is their exclusive domain? Every single species of lemur traveled to Madagascar and none of them settled anywhere else along the way. All of the kangaroos went to Australia. Never mind why. How? That’s a tough trip to make for an intrepid marsupial. But of course the authors of the story had no idea how big the world is nor how many species of animal there were so they designed an ark that wouldn’t be large enough to hold them all in the first place. And it did t matter because the story wasn’t supposed to be taken literally anyway. It’s like how we have the story of the stork delivering newborn babies. 

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Posted
16 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The simplest answer is that it’s all a myth created by Bronze Age tribesmen who didn’t know where the sun goes at night. In the version of the story where man is created first and woman is created later to keep him company, I think it’s implied that the animals are created in both genders as you’d expect. I don’t think the original audience was expected to take any of it literally. By creating man first, in the image of God, the man is placed in a position of superiority over the woman. The role of the woman to serve the man is a common theme throughout scripture (and the church). But if you take it literally then it makes one wonder if Adam was created with nipples and, better yet, functional testes. Why would he need the ability to create sperm if there was no female counterpart yet to produce fertile eggs? And the nipples especially would seem to have been purely decorative.

As for where all the animals are placed, a better question is why, after the great flood when all the animals in the world found their way to Noah’s ark, did they all find their way back to the part of the world that is their exclusive domain? Every single species of lemur traveled to Madagascar and none of them settled anywhere else along the way. All of the kangaroos went to Australia. Never mind why. How? That’s a tough trip to make for an intrepid marsupial. But of course the authors of the story had no idea how big the world is nor how many species of animal there were so they designed an ark that wouldn’t be large enough to hold them all in the first place. And it did t matter because the story wasn’t supposed to be taken literally anyway. It’s like how we have the story of the stork delivering newborn babies. 

Not to turn this into another one of "those" threads, but I can remember as a very small child wondering if I was being gaslit by adults on this stuff, because it was so obviously ridiculous. Like, "Are they just pretending this is real? Like Santa Claus?". I just couldn't fathom grown adults buying any of this.

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Posted
26 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Not to turn this into another one of "those" threads, but I can remember as a very small child wondering if I was being gaslit by adults on this stuff, because it was so obviously ridiculous. Like, "Are they just pretending this is real? Like Santa Claus?". I just couldn't fathom grown adults buying any of this.

Wait... What is this shit about Santa?  

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Posted
45 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Not to turn this into another one of "those" threads, but I can remember as a very small child wondering if I was being gaslit by adults on this stuff, because it was so obviously ridiculous. Like, "Are they just pretending this is real? Like Santa Claus?". I just couldn't fathom grown adults buying any of this.

“Jesus turned water into wine. Praise the Lord!”

David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Is he an even more powerful god than Jesus?

”Uh… but Jesus forgave your sins. Hallelujah!”

Oh cool. So I have a free pass to do whatever immoral shit I want now without consequence?

”Well, no. But, um, Jesus conquered death. Can I get an ‘amen?’”

He did? That’s cool. So no one dies anymore?

”Uh, I mean, not exactly… we all still die. Like 100% of us. But have you heard the Good News?”

The news about the sleight of hand party trick? Not sure I’d call that “good” or even really that interesting. Do you mean the sin amnesty fake-out? Or the complete swing-and-a-miss on immortality? 

“You wouldn’t ask so many dumb questions if we put God back in schools.”

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Posted
1 hour ago, Red Five said:

Not to turn this into another one of "those" threads, but I can remember as a very small child wondering if I was being gaslit by adults on this stuff, because it was so obviously ridiculous. Like, "Are they just pretending this is real? Like Santa Claus?". I just couldn't fathom grown adults buying any of this.

And then you grow up and find that they still believe it. That it wasn’t just a stora they were telling to the kids. They actually believe in the literal truth of the Adam and Eve story. So they refuse to believe in the scientific truth of evolutionary biology. And because of that they try to prevent evolution from being taught in schools, or they send their kids to private religious schools where it won’t be taught. And then try to divert tax dollars from the public schools to pay for their private religious schools. 

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Posted
1 minute ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They actually believe in the literal truth of the Adam and Eve story. So they refuse to believe in the scientific truth of evolutionary biology.

You do realize that a large faction of Christians don't believe that whatsoever, right?  They see the Old Testament (Adam & Eve, Noah's Ark, all the bullshit in Leviticus) as allegorical at best.

I'm not saying you should laud them for believing the New Testament teachings, but at least don't paint with such a broad brush regarding the WHOLE thing.  Not all Christians are the same.

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Do you guys spend this much time analyzing jack and the beanstalk? Its a fucking fairy tale. Thats all ya got to say. 

Is that the one with where Storm Daniels takes on all cummers?

Posted
44 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Do you guys spend this much time analyzing jack and the beanstalk? Its a fucking fairy tale. Thats all ya got to say. 

There aren’t people who believe in the literal truth of Jack and the Beanstalk and are forcing it to be taught as truth in public schools. 

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Posted
You do realize that a large faction of Christians don't believe that whatsoever, right?  They see the Old Testament (Adam & Eve, Noah's Ark, all the bullshit in Leviticus) as allegorical at best.
I'm not saying you should laud them for believing the New Testament teachings, but at least don't paint with such a broad brush regarding the WHOLE thing.  Not all Christians are the same.

No but every member of my nutbag Baptist family would be perfectly fine with the story of Adam and Eve being taught in history classes.
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Posted

So it’s my opinion the Adam & Eve story is akin to what Plato would refer to as “the noble lie.”  Pretty much every civilization that has ever existed has come up with some mythological bullshit origin story to give the common clay some collective sense of shared history.  Almost like it’s a necessary evil of sorts to have some explanation of existence even if completely untrue.  It’s also my opinion the Adam & Eve story is an exceptionally bad origin story. 

Posted
On 8/17/2024 at 6:59 AM, Pancho said:

 

Oh man, few things have ever been funnier than the amount of knuckle dragging morons in SoCal who thought that the Newsom recall had a real chance. Dozens of Joe Rogan podcast aficionados reminding everyone in their workplace to vote. Only to lose like 87-13. The dejection and mumbling about Soros money the morning after...good times.

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Posted
45 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

Oh I don’t know. I thought the part where God went up to Adam and was like “How much for just one rib?” was pretty funny. 

Pour it in my hands for a dime

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Posted
If I get a billion dollars and a twelve-inch dick, I don't even need to be a movie star to bed Sydney Sweeney. This is the way to victory.

Check her latest Instagram.
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