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Conclave 2025: All of the Smoke, None of the Brisket


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Posted

If the Sox win it all this year I'll rejoin the church because it's only possible if God is real and the Pope prays for it to happen and it happens. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit, I'm getting surly af over the comments that "he's not the first American pope." Mother fuckers, the USA is the only country in the Americas that has the word America in its name. Argentinains don't call themselves fucking Americans, they call themselves Argentinians. The term "American" has been universally accepted as the nationality of a person from the United States of America. It doesn't step on anyone else's toes. People from Canada are Canadians, people from Colubia are Columbians, etc., etc. Nobody else in the Americas uses the term "American" as a reference to their nationality. Pretty sure most would be pissed if you called them "American." Every third comment on every article that refers to him as the first American pope. That statement is correct because, again, its referring to nationality, not which fucking string of continents someone may have been born on. So fucking annoying. 

Americans are also called Yanks (short for Yankee) by Brits, so are all Texans also Yankees?

The Gulf of Mexico is called the Gulf of Mexico by every, except MAGA. So which is it?

And water is wet, except it is not. It is a liquid, that when it is on another substance, them that substance is wet. So the real question is can a liquid make itself wet? H²O is not the only liquid,  any liquid you come in contact with gets you wet. Perhaps I am a liquid, because I made South Austin's mom wet, before...well, the rest of that story is not going to be posted in a Papal thread. 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Americans are also called Yanks (short for Yankee) by Brits, so are all Texans also Yankees?

The Gulf of Mexico is called the Gulf of Mexico by every, except MAGA. So which is it?

And water is wet, except it is not. It is a liquid, that when it is on another substance, them that substance is wet. So the real question is can a liquid make itself wet? H²O is not the only liquid,  any liquid you come in contact with gets you wet. Perhaps I am a liquid, because I made South Austin's mom wet, before...well, the rest of that story is not going to be posted in a Papal thread. 

image.gif.19e232e074f5fe3c78cf3739a753c9b6.gif

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Posted
38 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Americans are also called Yanks (short for Yankee) by Brits, so are all Texans also Yankees?

The Gulf of Mexico is called the Gulf of Mexico by every, except MAGA. So which is it?

And water is wet, except it is not. It is a liquid, that when it is on another substance, them that substance is wet. So the real question is can a liquid make itself wet? H²O is not the only liquid,  any liquid you come in contact with gets you wet. Perhaps I am a liquid, because I made South Austin's mom wet, before...well, the rest of that story is not going to be posted in a Papal thread. 

Not sure I follow. No one anywhere refers to an Argentinian or Canadian as an American. It’s only when someone from the US is referred to as the “first” or “only” American to do something (referring to someone from the US) that people all over the internet come out with “ackchully American is two continents.” But the fact remains that nobody else from the Americas are called Americans, only people from the United States of America, the only country with America in the name. We’re not United Statians, it’s never been a thing.

Posted
5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Also....how did we not hone in on this earlier (or did I miss it)?  He's the literal Blues Brother pope - he's from Chicago, and he's on a mission from God.  

Somebody needs to dispatch 4 fried chickens and a coke, and some dry white toast, to the Vatican, stat.

...and

https://images.app.goo.gl/rh2hN

 

 

Posted
2 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit, I'm getting surly af over the comments that "he's not the first American pope." Mother fuckers, the USA is the only country in the Americas that has the word America in its name. Argentinains don't call themselves fucking Americans, they call themselves Argentinians. The term "American" has been universally accepted as the nationality of a person from the United States of America. It doesn't step on anyone else's toes. People from Canada are Canadians, people from Colubia are Columbians, etc., etc. Nobody else in the Americas uses the term "American" as a reference to their nationality. Pretty sure most would be pissed if you called them "American." Every third comment on every article that refers to him as the first American pope. That statement is correct because, again, its referring to nationality, not which fucking string of continents someone may have been born on. So fucking annoying. 

*Argentines

*Colombia

*Colombians

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Posted
2 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit, I'm getting surly af over the comments that "he's not the first American pope." Mother fuckers, the USA is the only country in the Americas that has the word America in its name. Argentinains don't call themselves fucking Americans, they call themselves Argentinians. The term "American" has been universally accepted as the nationality of a person from the United States of America. It doesn't step on anyone else's toes. People from Canada are Canadians, people from Colubia are Columbians, etc., etc. Nobody else in the Americas uses the term "American" as a reference to their nationality. Pretty sure most would be pissed if you called them "American." Every third comment on every article that refers to him as the first American pope. That statement is correct because, again, its referring to nationality, not which fucking string of continents someone may have been born on. So fucking annoying. 

1) It’s always butt hurt Latinos/as that get this shit wrong. 

2) I always American-Mansplain-them that… aaa…sí…

”In Spanish, ‘America(-no/-na)’ can mean the USA / someone from the USA and/or someone from the Western Hemisphere.

But in English [MAGA insult], “America(n)” only means USA / someone from the USA. Period.

It means that everywhere in the world. 🌏 🌎 🌍 

Some already know that and accept it and the topic never comes up, while others have a big ol’ tortilla* chip on their shoulders and are just looking for an argument.

 

*Full Disclosure: The chip on their shoulders may indeed be at banana chip or a plantain chip. And although it may be delicious, it is in fact very annoying.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Wally Fairway said:

Americans are also called Yanks (short for Yankee) by Brits, so are all Texans also Yankees?

The Gulf of Mexico is called the Gulf of Mexico by every, except MAGA. So which is it?

And water is wet, except it is not. It is a liquid, that when it is on another substance, them that substance is wet. So the real question is can a liquid make itself wet? H²O is not the only liquid,  any liquid you come in contact with gets you wet. Perhaps I am a liquid, because I made South Austin's mom wet, before...well, the rest of that story is not going to be posted in a Papal thread. 

Texans are Yanks.

Texans are not Yankees.

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Posted
12 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

perhaps the selection of Leo XIV will serve as an “impulse to calm an agitated America or to return to basic values like care for your neighbor and empathy.” 

Probably not

But would be nice 

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Posted
25 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

A bit of earnestness I’m sure I’ll regret.

I am not a Catholic, I am a believer. I do not think that the pope is infallible, even when speaking ex cathedra.  The Catholic Church, like every institution of the Christian faith, is not infallible and quite often has been significantly worse than that. 
 

In the late 1970s Karol Wojtyla became John Paul II.  He was also not a perfect or infallible man, and at times he could be rather worse than even that. 
 

But this man proclaimed from the chair of St. Peter to millions of Central and Eastern Europeans that the inhuman and anti-moral system they lived under had lost all credibility and moreover, that they didn’t need to be afraid anymore. And while that may seem simple and trite, in the 1970s and 1980s fear was as much a part of that corner of God’s creation as castles and beer and dumplings and sour cream.  Fear hung in the air, written in red, blown in from a leaden gray Moscow sky. 

Millions of people decided to believe him and acted thus. Catholics and non-Catholics and atheists and Jews and within ten years the fear was gone, the Soviet barracks emptied and the castles and beer and sour cream and dumplings remained. No one had to shoot at anyone, no superpower intervened. Maybe it was God or maybe John Paul II or maybe neither. Maybe it was just people who looked for a reason to stop being afraid. 
 

Today a friend with Slovak passport, Hungarian name, Jewish roots, and secular worldview— a sensitive and intelligent woman, a graduate of Columbia j-school, an award winning anti-corruption crusader— wrote that perhaps the selection of Leo XIV will serve as an “impulse to calm an agitated America or to return to basic values like care for your neighbor and empathy.” 
 

Maybe so. It’s possible. Deus vult. 

Well, Bingo might see an increase in popularity nationwide.

 

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Posted

Surprisingly, of all the people in my life over the years, only two with whom we keep in touch are Catholic.  I just sent one of them the following text: "So.  Pope.  We like?"

Posted
7 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Of all things to be considered part of God’s plan, wouldn’t the selection of pope by conclave be at or at least near the top?

No, that's not how it works at all. 

Posted (edited)

I’m not sure if y’all know that, but his Holiness had a grandma and siblings from New Orleans from the seventh ward.   In 1912-ish the whole clan moved to Chicago.

When his grandmother lived in New Orleans, she was a colored lady because she was a Creole of color. One drop and all that.  Once they moved to Chicago, they passed for white and married white people.   The black Creoles called that passé blanc”.

The point of all this?

We have a woke DEI Pope now…

Edited by Gatorubet
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Posted
I’m not sure if y’all know that, but his Holiness had a grandma and siblings from New Orleans from the seventh ward.   In 1912-ish the whole clan moved to Chicago.
When his grandmother lived in New Orleans, she was a colored lady because she was a Creole of color. One drop and all that.  Once they moved to Chicago, they passed for white and married white people.   The black Creoles called that “passé blanc”.
The point of all this?
We have a woke DEI Pope now…

So he’s woke catholic?
Posted
5 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

7 pages in.  No @ChiTownDoc , @Abe Froman , Ferris Bueller, no Al Capone references, someone is slipping.  I'm thinking Leo XIV probably knows the Sausage King of Chicago.  Maybe he can sing and dance Shake it up Baby with FB.

Been a crazy day.  But this is great.  The thread and the new Pope hailing from Chicago.  

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Posted

Bishop Robert Barron stated that the Catholic Church might not elect an American as pope until the US undergoes a period of political decline. His reasoning, echoing that of Cardinal George, suggests that the Church might avoid giving the papacy to a leader from a nation perceived as politically dominant, fearing the perception of control.

I don’t think even he knew how prescient his comments were at the time he made them. Our political decline has been rapid and severe.

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Posted
3 hours ago, David Dennison said:

Texans are Yanks.

Texans are not Yankees.

 

3 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

@Helobious disagrees

Just checked with my former flatmate and he educated me to the fact that:

Texans are Yanks.

Texans are not Yankees.

Texans are Wankers.

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Posted
1 minute ago, Napoleon said:

 

Just checked with my former flatmate and he educated me to the fact that:

Texans are Yanks.

Texans are not Yankees.

Texans are Wankers.

Marvel Studios GIF by Disney+

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Posted
6 hours ago, 'stache said:

Goddamnit, I'm getting surly af over the comments that "he's not the first American pope." Mother fuckers, the USA is the only country in the Americas that has the word America in its name. Argentinains don't call themselves fucking Americans, they call themselves Argentinians. The term "American" has been universally accepted as the nationality of a person from the United States of America. It doesn't step on anyone else's toes. People from Canada are Canadians, people from Colubia are Columbians, etc., etc. Nobody else in the Americas uses the term "American" as a reference to their nationality. Pretty sure most would be pissed if you called them "American." Every third comment on every article that refers to him as the first American pope. That statement is correct because, again, its referring to nationality, not which fucking string of continents someone may have been born on. So fucking annoying. 

I’m with you big dog this shit annoyed the fuck out of me when living in Mexico. 

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Napoleon said:

 

Just checked with my former flatmate and he educated me to the fact that:

Texans are Yanks.

Texans are not Yankees.

Texans are Wankers.

My granddad called my sister "Yankee Yankee" til the day he died. She was the first, and until my kids were born, only American in the family.

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Posted

Last few centuries of Popes:
🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇵🇱🇩🇪🇦🇷🇺🇸

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Last few centuries of Popes:
🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹🇵🇱🇩🇪🇦🇷🇺🇸

*🇦🇷

Semi… 🇮🇹

•”Bergoglio” family name.

•Italian dad and Italian maternal ancestry.

 

IMG_9690.jpeg

Edited by Napoleon
Posted
1 hour ago, Napoleon said:

*🇦🇷

Semi… 🇮🇹

•”Bergoglio” family name.

•Italian dad and Italian maternal ancestry.

 

IMG_9690.jpeg

So the last two popes are there thanks to an idiot fascist in Mussolini. This might be the only positive contribution he made to modern society.

Posted
8 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

A bit of earnestness I’m sure I’ll regret.

I am not a Catholic, I am a believer. I do not think that the pope is infallible, even when speaking ex cathedra.  The Catholic Church, like every institution of the Christian faith, is not infallible and quite often has been significantly worse than that. 
 

In the late 1970s Karol Wojtyla became John Paul II.  He was also not a perfect or infallible man, and at times he could be rather worse than even that. 
 

But this man proclaimed from the chair of St. Peter to millions of Central and Eastern Europeans that the inhuman and anti-moral system they lived under had lost all credibility and moreover, that they didn’t need to be afraid anymore. And while that may seem simple and trite, in the 1970s and 1980s fear was as much a part of that corner of God’s creation as castles and beer and dumplings and sour cream.  Fear hung in the air, written in red, blown in from a leaden gray Moscow sky. 

Millions of people decided to believe him and acted thus. Catholics and non-Catholics and atheists and Jews and within ten years the fear was gone, the Soviet barracks emptied and the castles and beer and sour cream and dumplings remained. No one had to shoot at anyone, no superpower intervened. Maybe it was God or maybe John Paul II or maybe neither. Maybe it was just people who looked for a reason to stop being afraid. 
 

Today a friend with Slovak passport, Hungarian name, Jewish roots, and secular worldview— a sensitive and intelligent woman, a graduate of Columbia j-school, an award winning anti-corruption crusader— wrote that perhaps the selection of Leo XIV will serve as an “impulse to calm an agitated America or to return to basic values like care for your neighbor and empathy.” 
 

Maybe so. It’s possible. Deus vult. 

Thoughtful and well said.

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Posted
9 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

image.thumb.png.5c7db01ffa2455c549d0205e16aea552.png

They say a man's character can be gauged by those who call him an enemy.  If that's true, I like this guy even more.  

I'll probably disagree with him on some things, and that's great.  I need my views challenged.

1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

 

There's a small, cackling minority of haters.  He's gonna come to the US at some point, and say Mass at Soldier Field and similar.  Gonna be wild.  Can't wait.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Parliament said:

They say a man's character can be gauged by those who call him an enemy.  If that's true, I like this guy even more.  

I'll probably disagree with him on some things, and that's great.  I need my views challenged.

There's a small, cackling minority of haters.  He's gonna come to the US at some point, and say Mass at Soldier Field and similar.  Gonna be wild.  Can't wait.

Trump will be pissed. Pope LEO's procession will have more in attendance than the military salute to Donald's exit from a birth canal.

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